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don't deny it- [26 Aug 2004|02:16pm]
[ mood | confused ]
[ music | Dashboard Confessional - Vindicated ]
so. it's been about three hours since i've even thought about Ray at all. can you say: "obsessed?" ..let me spell it out for you.
This wouldnt be such a big deal, if he was any other person. or, if he was like, annoying, or rude, or always wrong, or loud. but- low and behold ; the guy is perfect Perfect in eveything. perfect in the way he looks, perfect in the way he acts, perfect at playing guitar, perfect at being funny, perfect at making people feel special, perfect in knowing how to break a girls heart, perfect at not making things clear, he's perfect for me
And saying all this stuff makes me so IMPERFECT that it isnt even funny. by saying all this, i have put myself in the position that leaves me hanging here alone and very
i wish the summer would never end.
^^thats an entry from last year's journal. about a year ago, next month. mind you, I've had a thing for him since october of tenth, therefore.. it will be a 2year long crush in october. hanging out with him is amazing, yes. and .. the aftermath of hanging out with him are the topics of discussion for one AM phone calls with lindsey, which consist of her making me feel better, me hating the world, and me also not being able to breathe out of my nose. I AM NOT DRUNK. i'm just.. sstupid.
fuck.
cops suck. 'specially the one from tnight. fireworks are hot. 'specially when you wake up a neighborhood. mike's hard lemonade is fuhreaking amazing. 'specially when you need to open up, socially. asking what someone would do if you kissed them leads to many questions, and just a sucky mood. 'specially when you know it wasnt just some 'drunk' rampage. I only hope that things get better, and that I can sleep tonight.
and I will be waiting for him to call me from now on, then I guess we'll see if this is even worth it. but for now. I dont like this game anymore. and, i'm through playing.
