||[Nov. 3rd, 2006|04:08 pm]
|||||william burroughs - dead city radio||]|
Today has been an awful day. I slept through my alarm and missed lecture [i]again[/i]. I've only been to lecture on a friday once since uni started, and i'm fucked off with myself because i really love the course i'm doing and I don;t want attendance to affect my marks or anything. People keep saying to me how the first year doesn't really matter, but it matters to me. I want to squeeze every last bit of information I can get out of this course, and not turning up is probably the easiest way to do exactly the opposite of that. Also i have very little money, and I can't ask my parents for money. My mum doesn't have any, and I daren't ask my dad because he seems to get funny about things like that. I remember once he asked me what I wanted for christmas and I jokingly said £1000. Next thing i hear, my mum is having a go at me cuz my dad phoned my nan and my nan phoned my mum all complaining about how I don;t know the value of money and i'm an ungreatful little shit and blah blah blah.
So no lecture, no money, erm, what else, oh yeah, no internet. This is going to be a back-dated entry because something is fucked with the internet here and I need it for research and talking to people over the weekend when practically everyone else who lives in my halls goes home. So i'm a sad panda about that.
I spent most of the day tidying my room and washing my clothes and stuff. I actually have no preference for the room being tidy or messy, as far as i'm concerned that's mostly useless aesthetics. As long as there isn't mold growing on stuff then i'm cool. So my room now looks 'conventionally arranged'
I miss my friends and family a lot now. I didn't at first, but today I just woke up feeling homesick, and quite surprisingly I also miss my old job. I don;t miss 4 hours on a bus 5 days a week, but I miss the atmosphere. I think because it was boring shitty work, everyone seemed to have a sense of being in it together which I like. Fuck, the power of the mind to romanticize the past is pretty awesome. You ever get that thing where the good bits of the last few years all run together like some beautiful golden dream in a place so far away as to be unreachable ever again? Nostalgia, meet Depression. Depression, this is Nostalgia, i'm sure you guys'll get on fine...