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Mr. Deity

Back of the Bible

'Back of the Bible' tells us about all those old testament books nobody really reads. Everybody should know these stories, they are the kind of stuff you want to teach your children. Genocide, whores and kittens, it's all here!

Here's a part of the introduction:
"Everybody loves the Bible. It's shit-full of good advice you can apply to everyday life, from "turn the other cheek" to "God hates fags." What many people don't know, however, is that the Bible isn't just the basis for highly collectible Jesus plates - it's also an enormous goddamn thousands-years-old book.

But keep in mind, the Bible's as thick as a phone book. For every chapter about Jesus wind-sprinting across a lake to tell you how much he loves kittens, there's another with God making a smoking peasant fireball because they sacrificed a goat to Him with the wrong knife.

Once you wade past the shallow end of the New Testament into the back half of the Old Testament, get ready: it turns out God's a fucking lunatic, and He loves the taste of your blood. Old Testament God ain't letting Himself get nailed to any crosses like some pussy; OT God wouldn't spit on your balls if they were on fire. If He covers your eyes with boils to win a bet with Satan, consider yourself lucky He didn't turn your city into a mushroom cloud for not praying to Him enough. Even a cursory reading of the Old Testament leaves only one conclusion: God is a total hardass, and if you step out of line He will most likely drop you in the time it takes most people to open a door."

[ via Pharyngula ]

The Epicurean Paradox

Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then he is not omnipotent.
Is he able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent.
Is he both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil?
Is he neither able nor willing? Then why call him God?
I always had this reasoning, but only now I found out that Epicurus thought of it first... 2300 years before me...
"Nothing can be so amusingly arrogant as a young man who has just discovered an old idea and thinks it is his own.", Sidney J. Harris