| Sharm el Sheikh is Shit |
[Jul. 1st, 2009|07:02 am] |
Oh my god Egypt was AWFUL
So awful that I would not like to recollect it here however I feel I have to, so I can read this back next time I may be considering going to that godawful country.
Highlights included getting chased down the street by an angry man on a spitting camel (taking a photo of one is chargeable apparently). Seriously it is like Blackpool and their donkey animal cruelty, apart from this is Sharm el Sheikh and their animal cruelty is directed at camels. Also, we got escorted off the Hilton's beach for deigning to sit on their exclusive guests-only area.
Lowlights included the FOOD. Awful. We paid all inclusive and spent the entire time eating out. Also, bizzarrely, there is a TGI Fridays in Egypt?
We were also delayed by 4 hours at the airport coming home which just added insult to injury. Ben would not play cards with me. Even though they have naked porn star men with shaved bits on the reverse. I had to sit there by myself and put them in order of size on the seat next to me to entertain myself. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 17th, 2009|07:17 am] |
I have had a total hair trauma. I tried to dye it myself (due to the economc climate) and it went fucking WHITE with orange roots. I had to go to the hairdressers and beg them to put it right first thing this morning - she had to move loads of appointments around - I think she saw the desperation on the face of a girl with white hair and fucking ginger roots. I was too embarassed to admit I did this to myself so I pretended that it had been done by a mobile hairdresser called Tracey.
In other news someone keeps secretly washing my car? I thought it was the old man across the street but he went in to hospital for a week and someone did it during that time. Why would you just wash someone's car??! People are weird. I wouldn't even wash my own, I prefer to pay a fiver for an immigrant to do it while I read Heat. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 16th, 2009|10:05 am] |
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I am poorly today and have taken the day off work. Which means answering my emails and my phone ringing. I think it's a sickness bug, I wish it would piss off. |
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| Marriage |
[Jun. 13th, 2009|07:59 am] |
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I have been thinking about the whole having a husband at 24, well, 23 really, this morning. I think there are a lot of people in my family, and his that maybe thought we got married too young but as we approach ONE YEAR LATER we are still totally GOOD . And the wedding was amazing, yes, but I think that getting married is easy, it is staying married that would be the difficult part. Benjamin knows he can fuck anyone he wants anyway. As long as he has divorced me first.
Anyway the only 'temptation' I have had in the last 12 months was when a new work contact (Equal opps and that) who is in a (surprisingly trendy) wheelchair (he is only 27 he fell down a mountain skiing) asked me to go out for a drink with him. And you know when words just tumble out of your mouth and you can hear them but you seem powerless to prevent them? and so I replied (and this reply will shame me forEVER)
"I am really sorry, I can't go out for a drink with you as I have a husband, but it'sdefinitelynotbecauseyou'reinawheelchair"
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 10th, 2009|07:52 am] |
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I would like some new LJ friends I think. People just do not post anymore it is sad. THey are probably busy facebooking or twittering or some shit. |
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| Elderly. |
[Jun. 10th, 2009|07:33 am] |
No matter how much I do or do not drink at night, I still have to get up for a wee between 5:17-5:25am EVERY SINGLE MORNING. Then I lie in bed worrying about things I haven't done at work like a total unstable.
That reminds me actually, on the way home from work the other day I had to get out of the car for a wee in a forest. Why is my bladder so weak all of a sudden? I am sure it used to be more hardcore. I never went for wees at gigs. I do now, in my old age. Also, there are many other things I now do proably due to old age.
1. I always have some antibacterial hand gel on my person at all times
2. Same as above but packet of tissues and anadin
3. I buy flowers and plants and put them in my house.
4. I have a house?
5. I have to write everything down
6. I make meal plans for the week before I do my food shop.
7. I have a fire extinguisher, a tool box and a map in my car boot 'just in case'
I think the 18 year old me would be totally disgusted by this behaviour. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 5th, 2009|07:28 pm] |
Things are good at the moment. Apart from clearly I am devastated about the demise of Katie and Peter. Is nobody thinking about Harvey Price?
We are going to Egypt in a couple of weeks. We booked it in a travelagents in Meadowhall on a total whim, and then read the reviews when we got home online, and they are fucking awful. I emailed Benji today at work with a selection of my favourite comments about the hotel, the best of which was "I would not wish this hotel on my worst enemy". !!!! Nevermind, there is a KFC just down the road apparently so if it's shitty I will divide my time between there and the beach.
I accidentally dyed my hair so blonde it is white but it looks alright in certain lights. I am going to the hairdressers tomorrow to get it sorted.
Since my last I 'seductively' sang on a piano in Blackpool and also met Lilian from Shameless and stayed at the Queens Hotel - I imagine that the queen would not be too happy to know that her name is associated with this, seriously it's like a fucking Peter Kay parody.
I lost my phone too and have a new number. I have taken this opportunity to cleanse my life of people I do not wish to speak with. |
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| Innit |
[Mar. 16th, 2009|10:56 pm] |
-OK I have been bad and bought a stella mccartney clutch.
-I have been reported to the police because bruce bit a man who was delivering a leaflet through my door for bingo.
-I have eaten 2 bacon sandwiches today
-I have seen our new offices, they are gonna be in some kind of converted mill thing in Huddersfield but all I know is that my commute will defo be longer and I am not happy. My playlists are gonna have to be like 18 songs long now. NOT HAPPY
-My fucking toDo list is fucking fucking HUGE
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 16th, 2009|09:38 pm] |
I have been treated like an animal.
Instead of typing it out again, I will cut and paste the email rant I sent to Benji. I stayed at a collegues house as I had a 6:30am breakfast meeting as I could not face the commute
Hiya. I am sorry I didn't ring you last night,I am a vagrant living out of a bag and I have no charger (is it in your car?) I hate Vicki - you know how she has that new boyfriend apparently? Well he did not matter last night cos we had tea and then sat down to watch The Reader (which is RUBBISH and is a film about people with bad german accents wearing bad german clothes) and then she starts getting these text messages and going all smiley and giggly so i say "Is that Martin?" (The new boyfriend) and she is like, "No it is the one who is married". And she knows I do not approve of this so we didn't say much more. Anyway, about 7 text messages later, at 9.10PM she says to me "Would you mind if you went to bed now so Married Guy can come round so we can have a coffee" IS she for serious sending me to bed so she can have 'coffee' with a man??!?!?!?! So I go to bed (in her daughters room (she wasn't there she was at her dad's...obv) , so I am in bed with 5 barbies and a very scary realistic looking owl... and I can hear them downstairs and so i texted you to have a rant, and that was when my battery went on my phone so i couldnt even play Falling Balls to occupy myself for the next 2 and a half hours of my life while i was attempting to go to sleep. I had a wee in her shower this morning to teach her a lesson. I still cannot read my text messages cos no charger so was not sure what is happening tonight? Love youuuuuu xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 22nd, 2009|10:55 am] |
How are my new years resolutions going?
1. Be more pro-active at work This has happened
2. Be less lazy This has not happened
3. Take my dinner to work every day and stop buying it from the deli and spending like £5 I did this for 3 days
4. Tidy the house regularly, not just when I know someone will visit I am better at this but it is still a total shit tip
5. Stop drinking coca cola all the time I did this! For the whole of January I had lime and soda instead and now coke tastes all sugary to me and I sm no longer such a big fan of it
6. Go to the gym 3 times a week NO I have not even been once but I did go to an aerobics class last week. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 22nd, 2009|10:43 am] |
It is my little sister's 18th today so I am at my parent's house. Although went out for a Huddersfield reunion last night so was being sick in a mop bucket while she ws actually opening her presents which is clearly not very sisterly. Benjamin and I (read :I) got her a swarovski necklace of a padlock and key (which by the way was reduced from £70 to £35 because Red Contemporary Jewellers in Meadowhall is in to administration and there is a massive sale on. Bargain)
I brought Bruce with me because Benji is in Amsterdam on a stag do until Tuesday, and he literally barked all the way in the car, I think he needs neutering because he keeps being naughty. Apparently this happens when they are about 2 years old. I cannot get mad at him though because he is so cute. He is in the garden now, probably chasing and killing birds - this is his new favourite thing. At home we have a bird bath (inherited from the previous owners) in the garden and it lures the birds into Bruce's trap, where they are either maimed or meet their horrible deaths.
Also, you will be shocked to know that I have not bought one item of clothing, or one pair of shoes for six weeks now. HARD TIMES people. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 14th, 2009|12:47 am] |
I should be banned from the roads! Seriously I have had two near-crashes in like 2 days I am rubbish. I think it is all this stress. I will tell you about the stress
They have made redundancies at work. Not me thank GOD. I have two mortgages, a car and a designer dog to pay for. And a mouth to feed and Benjamin is NOT cheap to feed. what would I do???! I have told the parentals to keep a room free for me, refrain from putting any stray children in it, just for now.
I am doing a bit of freelance on the side, just to make sure that I have a bit of extra income - although undoubtably this will be spent on shoes instead. Future or Footwear?
My little brother (he is not little really he is 22) had a disciplinary at work for throwing sausages at a man (he is a chef).
Dad: "Who does the little bugger think he is, Gordon Ramsay?"
Mum "Gordon would NEVER throw food!!" (like she knew him, her good friend Gordon, ahahahahh)
Been for a curry tonight. It was excellent. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 11th, 2009|10:16 pm] |
Why have I only just discovered Prison Break?
Also, I got an email from FutureMe today from this time last year - it says "I hope you're not divorced by the time you read this" . The Jan 2008 Me will be pleased to know that no I am not divorced. He whispered in my ear the other day, mid shag (sorry) that "I still after all this time want to fuck you every time I see you". I choked up, like I was going to cry. I am writing that in here so I do not forget it cos it's probably one of the (most vulgar) but nicest things he could say to me in my current state of eating everything and having to get my box of size 14 jeans out :( look, there is a sad face for getting fat again. |
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| New Year, Things to DO |
[Jan. 5th, 2009|12:54 am] |
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1. Be more pro-active at work
2. Be less lazy
3. Take my dinner to work every day and stop buying it from the deli and spending like £5
4. Tidy the house regularly, not just when I know someone will visit
5. Stop drinking coca cola all the time
6. Go to the gym 3 times a week
Me and husband are sat watching a programme about prisons and watching the snow fall. We spent New Years in Prague, which was lovely, just me and him. There was a big spa in the hotel with a huge steam room and marble pillars and a big glass roof. We saw in new years with champagne in bed. Fucking hell, how much have I changed since spending NYE in a smoky disgusting bar whilst drinking absinthe and shagging boys in bands in toilets?
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 15th, 2008|09:05 pm] |
Hi Kids,
IKEA is so shit. I used to love IKEA but now I think that it is shit. It is all a load of shit. It took me ages and ages to get home from there today. All I wanted was a storage chest. I think I might buy online in future. I much prefer signing for packages than sitting in traffic for NEARLY AN HOUR
I fell in front of popular newsreader Harry Gratian at the Huddersfield Business Awards. My work were nominated for something so we were there to cheer for the nomination. But we didn't win. We are above (& Beyond) winning anyway. To get that joke, you need to know that my work is called Above & Beyond Architecture or its not funny. Is it still not funny? Nevermind.
My little sister passed her driving test last week. I am taking her on the motorway tomorrow night to risk my life, it will be fun. I bought her an ipod dock for it.
Also I have done NO CHristmas shopping yet this year. Sad Sad Sad. I am dreading it. Today I had a look on ASOS and discovered that in one order I could probably buy everything I need to for everyone - how AMAZING is ASOS???. I thought about buying everyone a ticket for something, like the gift of entertainment but then I thought no. Me and Benjamin have agreed that we are buying eachother a holiday for Christmas but when people do that do they buy eachother something anyway? Well I am not. It's hard times, people.
Although in other more positive news about the credit crunch my mortgages have gone down loads cos of the interest rates, we only have to pay out just over £800 for two mortgages now, at one point, it was like £1200. The newspapers should say this alongside their negative stores "1200 made redundant (but woman' mortgages go down LIKE LOADS)
I am at Mum and Dad's house tonight cos I like to help put up the Christmas tree, and lets face it, someone has to have creative vision when there are 18 'troubled' children clambering to have their i-made-this-shit-at-school-out-of-part-of-an-eggbox baubles in prime position and my mother gets a bit carried away with the tinsel (NEVER on picture frames, please).
It's so strange how I still think of this as my home. Especially now everytime I visit, the children seem younger and my mum looks older. Tonight was really nice though, it's probably going to be the best Christmas ever for them. I have got the best mum and dad in the world ever ever. It's cool that they are being recycled because their love can never run out.
I am ill and I would like some soup.
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 29th, 2008|07:12 pm] |
1. Is 'Living on the Edge' for serious? The British version of the Hills? RUBBISH! A load of orange slags with bad extensions who are in need of nose jobs, and acne hideous teenage boys in need of pro-activ.
2. East 17 were much cooler when I was 10 years old.
3. I have just seen FROSTED PINK LIPSTICK on 'Living on the Edge'.
4. Would anyone like to live in a two bedroom bungalow with conservatory in Bramley, Rotherham - because MY TENANT HAS DIED. Seriously.
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| Fashion Faux Pas |
[Sep. 26th, 2008|06:59 pm] |
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Went to work today wearing my white shirt with lacy/frill things on the front, and my miss selfridge purple short sleeved cardigan. As soon as I got out of the car I realised, and then walked through the door to greetings of 'Groovy baby!' and other Austin Powers related gags. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 25th, 2008|11:17 pm] |
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Am going to watch my childhood favourite, East 17 tomorrow in Wakefield.
Also
This morning went to work without doing my face/hair and having my pinafore dress straps all twisted as got out of bed at ten to nine? Why am I so tired recently? I am going to make a proper effort for work tomorrw so people forget today's bouffant/clothing disaster.
I got a speeding ticket for driving on the motorway at 86mph. I have now got 6 points on my licence. Rubbish times. My new car is coming at the end of October.
My dad has bought some houses in Huddersfield, from mortgage companies who have had to repossess them. He paid £40,000 for a three bedroom terrace house. I actually cannot believe this. I have estimated that our house has gone down by at least £20,000 since we bought it. But I suppose it is big enough that we will probably stay here forever, plus the fact that I would not want someone to inherit my clothes room as it is my favourite ever and was a present from my work.
I have learned today that Lindsay and Paul are getting married. In a registrly office. With only her parents present. Seriously, do people not realise??!!?!?!?!!?
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 17th, 2008|08:52 pm] |
Do you think it would be super cheesy to get Think Of A Wonderful Thought tattooed on the inside of my wrist? |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 16th, 2008|10:29 pm] |
Right then, few things.
1. Went on my Driving Improvement course.I am now a much better and safer driver. Did I ever post about that? Long story involving a car parking attendant's foot and me driving over it. Well actually that's the actual story.
2. Might be going on holiday with girls from 4th October for a week, to Turkey. Ben is working away again anyway so he won't care. Bruce will. Kennels for you, Bruce. There will be no lurpack buttered toast in the Kennels. I think Turkey is probably a bit eugh but it's hot so I do not care. I might have to take it as unpaid though as have run out of holiday
3. My matchmaking skills are RUBBISH |
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