Merle ([info]merle_) wrote,
@ 2008-05-16 13:00:00
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Current mood:tired of the heat
Current music:Violent Femmes, "Blister In The Sun"

a letter to the sun
Dear Dreaded Baleful Ball of Fire That Hovers in the Sky Every Day,

Apologies if I caused offense in giving you that title. While accuracy is important, I would be content calling you Taiyo-sama, if preferred. Or just Sun Boy.

Anyway, I'm writing because one worships and placates gods primarily in order to get them to go away. You're powerful and all that, but us peons just want to live in peace. Given the horrific heat wave yesterday, I would like to offer you a sacrifice to get you to move on to some other part of the country. North Dakota, perhaps? Nobody much cares what happens to them. You can have Guam, too.

Unfortunately, you do not seem to have a Facebook presence, so I have to guess at the sacrifices you might want. For now there is a glass of water on the windowsill: perhaps you can see it? It's for you. Just go away.

No love and fewer hugs,
[info]merle_


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[info]kmg_365
2008-05-16 08:13 pm UTC (link)
And here I am thinking that someone in my part of the globe angered the sun god, for we have received 8" of rain this May. It's enough to drive a person batty.

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[info]merle_
2008-05-16 08:23 pm UTC (link)
I'll trade you! They're talking about water rationing out here.

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[info]kmg_365
2008-05-16 08:27 pm UTC (link)
Take my water. Please!

Ba-da-boom.

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[info]kensan_oni
2008-05-16 08:21 pm UTC (link)
Brother sun is a harsh and evil man, and only the cousin clouds and sister Moon are compassionate at all.

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[info]merle_
2008-05-16 08:24 pm UTC (link)
Don't forget great-aunt-in-law-thrice-removed Fog. She's awesome.

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[info]kmg_365
2008-05-16 08:36 pm UTC (link)
Until she creates a 27-car pile-up. She's a fickle woman, Fog is.

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[info]merle_
2008-05-16 08:45 pm UTC (link)
Fog is benign out here in California, where people are raised to respect and understand her. Earthquake, though -- Earthquake is a really nasty piece of work.

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[info]kmg_365
2008-05-16 08:50 pm UTC (link)
And don't forget mudslides. Because building your home on the side of a cliff that is prone to shedding its "skin" doesn't seem like a bad idea out there....

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[info]merle_
2008-05-16 09:16 pm UTC (link)
I personally refer to people who build on the edges of cliffs that have been known to collapse, or rivers that flood every other year, as "losers" or as "FEMA moocher groupies". It's not clear what the PC term for such folks is.

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[info]melted_snowball
2008-05-17 12:56 am UTC (link)
She wears egg pants, too.

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[info]ebourland
2008-05-16 09:48 pm UTC (link)
Makes me glad I am in chilly Chicago, though I am sure we will get our Heat God soon enough.

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[info]oxymoronia
2008-05-17 07:38 am UTC (link)
No! Don't ruin all the work we put into coaxing the sun to move over to the northern hemisphere. We need time out too!

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[info]merle_
2008-05-17 01:09 pm UTC (link)
I think we can all agree: since the sun never sets over the British empire, we should park it smack dab over London. That'll show them for having a strong euro! And we'll both be in twilight areas, then.

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