My pop pop is dying. He's been in the hospital for about a week now, and just keeps getting worse :( His body is basically shutting down. He wont eat, wont open his eyes, wont talk, his hands have turned blue...The doctor called my mom this morning and told her he doesnt think he will last another week :( My mom and brother Tyler are going to Pennsylvania tomorrow afternoon to see him. I hope he can make it until my mom can say good bye. On the other hand I hope he doesnt have to suffer much longer. He's miserable..he just wants to go...go be with his wife, my nanny. (she passed away a long time ago and he has always just wanted to go be with her) Life can be so depressing. I am so glad I got the chance to visit him over the summer. I had a gut feeling that if I didnt go I would really regret it. Every time someone close to me is dying my Pappy ( my dads dad who also passed several years ago) comes to me in my dreams, he always says to me in the dream "everything will be ok sis" ( he called me sis when he was alive) Last week I had a dream that pappy and I were in a big beautiful house that over looked a huge lake with big green trees. In my dream I was staying with him in this house. I had woken up early to spend time with him. We sat on this beautiful deck looking out at the lake...he turned to me and said " everything will be ok sis" and that is the only words I remember in the dream...sure enough a day after the dream is when my pop pop really started to go down hill. I havent told my mom this..i figure it would be too much to share that with her now.
I am really sad that Isabelle will probably not have many memories of Pop pop when she gets older :( I think I am going to make a picture frame for her, full of pictures of the 2 of them and hang it in her room, and always talk to her about the pictures, and what they would do when we went to visit and the toys they would play with, etc...that way maybe it will all stay in her memory. Death is so hard to deal with.
This has felt like the longest day ever! With the time change and all that has happened today I just wish the day would end so I can go to bed. Soon! very soon!
On another note, my mom went for a follow up with her doctor today. Now that she has been sober (which I am so proud of her) her lab work is back down to normal! She's no longer yellow, she's lost about 15 pounds, she really looks great! The reason my brother Tyler is going with her to PA is she does not trust herself not drink if she goes alone and with the circumstances.
Just had to get that all out. I don't write her much. Hopefully the next time I write, it wont be so sad.
From our last visit. They loved taking walks together.
Isabelle's 2nd visit to see Pop Pop
Isabelle's 1st visit. The 1st time he got to meet her <3
I am going to miss him so much!