It's odd really how I sometimes feel like home and sometimes feel like living in an odd and hard country. When I go out and meet people I feel like I could stay forever. When I'm alone I feel like this is not a home. Well that's probably normal but the funny thing is I don't know if Finland is a home for me either. I can handle stuff easier there and I know what to do and where and when. But I don't think that's a definition of home.

I'm not sure if I want to feel home anywhere. I guess that would mean I'd have found my place and could start living my life the way it's meant to be lived for me. I'm not worried really, I'm young and I guess I should be lost in this period. But I don't believe things will ever change. Or if they do it would take something incredible to happen.

So I've come to this conclusion this isn't my home. It could be in like 10 years maybe but not now. I love some things here, like the sea and the people but yet I feel miserable when there's nothing familiar. However it's not like I'd want to go back to Finland. This trip has actually helped me to realise Finland isn't the only option. I realise now that it's gonna be a long way to home, the real home