Inkblot: Interpret as you will.

03:12 am - otter, or lemming?

OK, so, I was also disappointed with the ads on livejournal, but I still sat on my lazy butt until Katlin Ruff inspired me to high tail it out of here. She's moved to Blogspot, but I decided to try a shiny new Wordpress. So, here we go:

http://intenselychill.wordpress.com/


It's like an internet makeover.

06:57 pm - Regarding Forgiveness

 I was having a good conversation sometime this month with a friend, over coffee (did I mention that I’ve been drinking way too much coffee lately, simply for the coffee shop atmosphere?). We were talking about friendships and life situations, and how different friends have affected the times and transitions of our lives. 

Current Mood: hopeful

12:11 am - Yes, more about humility. And then some other things, too!

What does humility really mean?

Naturally it involves the subordination of the self.  And here by “self” I mean that tendency of an individual to see his or her pleasure, satisfaction or betterment as a priority separate from the unified reality of all things emanating from God.  It is that quality of independence that finds praiseworthiness in the context of survival and individual initiative.  It is that same quality that perverts its own purpose when divorced from spiritual discipline and the attitude of service to others.

But to think of the struggle towards humility in negative turns – to see it merely as a destructive process (becoming selfLESS, RID of the self), laces the process with a sense of hopelessness.  You’re never going to be fully rid of your own ego.  The concept degenerates into tedium.

A member of my study circle planted a seed in my mind, courtesy of Dietrich Bonhoeffer, that humility is actually “sight filled with God.”  Now THAT is a positive idea.  To fill your sight and mind with the light of the beauty of God is to eradicate the darkness of selfishness. 

I’ve covered this before in a lot of ways, like in “cracks open fills up,” but I guess it needed to click again, the way that humility comes through prayer. Subconsciously the concept that I was making an offering to God had crept into my mind. Offering praise and devotion. Like if I don’t bow to God and say my obligatory prayer, then I’m not “paying my dues.” It seems ridiculous that the notion was even in there somewhere, now that it’s out in the open. But it seemed to snap me back to attention when I realized the obvious fact that when I let go of my worldly thoughts in order to speak praise and truth and love, I receive the spiritual nourishment of “sight filled with God.”  Even though the most basic introductory concept of prayer in the Baha'i Faith is that of spiritual nourishment!

So that was very enlightening, although it made me feel silly at the same time.

I’m also feeling a lot of appreciation for this verse regarding the necessity of cleanliness and purity: "First in a human being's way of life must be purity, then freshness, cleanliness, and independence of spirit. First must the stream bed be cleansed, then may the sweet river waters be led into it."  Those are the sweet river waters of spiritual nourishment, my friends. I guess that’s why we have ablutions before obligatory prayers.

I also think that in these spiritual writings, words like “before” and “first” speak not of chronological precedence, but of spiritual precedence. A spiritual concept gains precedence when it is on a more essential/foundational level than another is.  In this manner, we can still say that God existed before all things, regardless of the fact that the reality of creation is timeless.

“Whoso ariseth among you to teach the Cause of his Lord, let him, before all else, teach his own self, that his speech may attract the hearts of them that hear him.”  You don’t have to be fully perfect literally “before” you start to teach the Cause.  But personal development does have to be a priority, since it is the foundation of all teaching.

There are many verses about foundations and essentiality. Two that come to mind: “Truthfulness is the foundation of all human virtues.” “Human happiness is founded upon spiritual behavior.”  It's almost like I could construct a spiritual "timeline" of concepts, from the more essential to the more contingent.

Interesting.

I will leave the incoherence as it stands.

02:48 pm - on certitude, arrogance, and the heliocentric model

12:42 am - On the Fear of God

I said I was going to bed, but then this one came like a torrent.


Is it not possible that in the writing of this livejournal and the postulation of spiritual realities, I might become highly susceptible to self-aggrandizement? That no matter the tone and posture of humility with which I may put forth my musings and queries, it may degrade into an insincere habit of convention? The tendency toward human pride deserves severe respect. We are given many admonitions and warnings against its influence.

The wellspring of humility is in humility before God, which is to be realized in obedience to His Laws. The Laws are the Ocean and we are the fish.

If I trust the Voice that admonishes humans toward sincere piety, and give ear to the assertion of my dependence on spiritual sustenance, without which I am susceptible to such corrosive influences as would lead to misery and true loss, I am in a place to develop a wise fear of these natural consequences. This is similar to the wise fear that keeps me from riding a bike without a helmet, *especially* in the case where it has saved my life to have been wearing one. Is not the same true of the laws of God?

"The essence of wisdom is the fear of God, the dread of His scourge and punishment, and the apprehension of His justice and decree."

If the Ground of Being is also the Supreme Ordainer, and has established a fundamental law of order and of justice, then this fear is manifestly wise indeed. It is very unlike the notion of having been "scared into" doing something because someone has threatened you. A calculated threat bears no essential resemblance to a sound warning.

Through a sincere conviction of the reality of Divine Law, I may bountifully find hope for redemption in the realization of my reliance on God, and come to the enlightened knowledge (expressed in unremitting action) that the only way to attain true humility is by attaining it in my inner life and private character. And this involves certain attitudes of devotion that must be cultivated consistently on a daily basis. And by “must be cultivated” I mean, “I must cultivate”, further denoting that this cultivation is, well … obligatory.

And so the fear of God may thus become the ultimate shield of protection. Even if I should outwardly come to sound unbearably pretentious, is it not the state of the inner heart that counts?

I guess in a sense you can say that the fear of God is respect for the fact that the Manifestation is not “bluffing” - the state of recognition and of trust. This same state of trust is also the catalyst for the cultivation of the love of God. And these sentiments of love and fear (springing from their common Reality) are the inseparable dual motivators toward obedience and ultimate prosperity.

The concept of the fear of God has completely stumped me for quite a while … I won’t assume that I have an adequate grasp on it, but at least this thought process has signified a very welcome “first glimmering” of understanding of such a fundamental spiritual attitude, for which I am grateful.

I guess I can finally go to sleep now.

12:39 am - Don't knock Christianity

Two new entries in a row...dang.



Jesus Christ died for your sins. People outside of the Christian religion sometimes show severe dislike for this concept, and I believe they think of it more or less in this way: your sins basically "mark" you for damnation, and you can't pay enough good works into the arbitrary jackpot to buy your way to forgiveness, but if you sign up for free Jesus salvation then you get put on His "salvation tab" and His sacrifice buys your way out. This market purchase analogy repels many people.

Now please let me offer a different understanding of this Atonement, and while it certainly does not speak to the entire meaning of the sacrifice, I hope that it at least provides a slightly richer and more intuitive explanation than what I have written above.

First we have to re-examine the meaning of the state of sin. Again, 'sin' means 'without.' It's the state of being cut off from divine bounty. The darkness of sin, the misery of sin. Lacking light, inspiration, love, and devotion.

In this sense, purity itself is a positive entity. Nader Saeidi recently re-called my attention to the candle analogy of sacrifice ... the cold wax of the candle becomes sacrificed in the act of giving light. Purity is light which is love which is sacrifice. And now I'm calling on Baha'u'llah to help me out here:

"Know thou that when the Son of Man yielded up His breath to God, the whole creation wept with a great weeping. By sacrificing Himself, however, a fresh capacity was infused into all created things. Its evidences, as witnessed in all the peoples of the earth, are now manifest before thee. The deepest wisdom which the sages have uttered, the profoundest learning which any mind hath unfolded, the arts which the ablest hands have produced, the influence exerted by the most potent of rulers, are but manifestations of the quickening power released by His transcendent, His all-pervasive, and resplendent Spirit.

We testify that when He came into the world, He shed the splendor of His glory upon all created things. Through Him the leper recovered from the leprosy of perversity and ignorance. Through Him, the unchaste and wayward were healed. Through His power, born of Almighty God, the eyes of the blind were opened, and the soul of the sinner sanctified.

12:20 am - Love is the Secret

[The how and why of detachment:

God's bounty keeps shifting forms so that your soul can realize that the bounty is not in the form itself, but from the Source. ]


Love is the Secret

I just spent some time introspecting on my innermost desires, my place of true happiness and fulfillment. I perceived the sense of being fully connected, fully supported, feeling the power of love moving through my mind and my spirit and my blood and my skin and my breath and my laughter and my words and my actions. Typing that just now reminded me of this memorization quote from "Teaching the Cause" -

O thou lamp who art enkindled with the fire of the love of God! Verily I read thy recent letter which showed thy strong love, thy being ablaze with the fire of the love of thy Lord, the Mighty, the Praised, and the penetration of the Spirit of Truth in thy limbs, nerves, veins, arteries, bones, blood and flesh; until it hath taken the reins of power from thy hands and moveth thee as it willeth, causeth thee to speak in what it willeth, and attracteth thee as it willeth [I forgot the rest so I'm looking it up...] This is becoming of whatever heart is replenished with the spirit of the love of God. Thou shalt surely behold wondrous traces and shalt discover the signs of thy Mighty Lord.

OK, that was a pretty cool semi-digression. So anyway, I was meditating, and it felt great. And it reminded me that the power and joy I was reveling in and wanted to revel in forever was that feeling of supreme and unhindered love. The kind of love that overcomes every obstacle and forgives every imperfection. "Love is the secret of God's Holy Dispensation..." I mean, it's a spontaneous impulse of my inner being, which is (to me) the truest of truths that I can sense.

The outward expression of powerful, nurturing love is service and sacrifice. "Sacrifice" means "to make sacred..." so, you're taking your time and energy and capacity and making it sacred in the path of service. You make it sacred by making it the manifestation of love.

How are you going to experience the satisfaction of the full actualization of the innermost impulse of love, the driving force of your reality? Through sacrifice. Love which is *actualized* becomes strong love that has the unique power to remove the hindrances that promote separation and cause unhappiness in our hearts.

Hence, the purpose of a fulfilled life is to possess a more perfect and unhindered love, and to manifest it more fully; and this is the meaning of worship, the foundation of a life of service.

It's been a while since I have found sufficient time to meditate. It's easy to forget how simple it is that introspection can lead me to a stronger love for God ... I guess there's a reason why we are told to make time to meditate ...

Hmmm.

12:16 am - multi scale modeling - from "world embracing vision" to "inner life and private character"

Sigh. There is a lack of appreciation for spirituality in the greater humanitarian world.

I got stopped in the street by yet another one of those summer activists (they are ubiquitous and after my politeness started wearing off i mostly avoided having them see me by any means possible (including taking drastic detours)). Her organization was "save the children," and she had already seen me and said hello, so I decided to have a nice conversation with her. We talked about all the preventable deaths of children and the importance of public health initiatives - I mentioned the concept of nurturing/training/empowering certain individuals residing within suffering societies so that they can rise up and provide needed education and services to their kinsmen, albeit not in much detail, and we were just talking about very progressive concepts. But of course she had an agenda, and it got to the monthly membership, payments, etc. part of the encounter. It makes sense, I mean, it's her job to get me to give money... :(  So I quickly realized the relatively pointless nature of what started as a relatively good conversation.

While politely refusing to lend my financial support, I mentioned that I really liked the aims of the organization and thought it was always good for humanitarians in public health and social/economic development to form connections and collaborate, sharing methods and insights as much as possible, like how the Baha'i International Community and its agencies try to do that. She replied quickly by saying how great it was that her organization was completely non-religious and didn't go around converting people, but just helped them by giving them access to medicine and birth control, which is what they're really in need of. I guess it made me a little sad because I know that a lot of religions proselytize by providing aid that is conditioned on conversion. :(

But how could I take the time to explain it all? How proselytizing is forbidden in the Faith? How the concept of empowerment through training has proven its effectiveness in every part of the planet? How there is a branch course of Ruhi completely devoted to public health? How communication, learning that happens in every locality, and widespread unity of action is crucial to the maximum effectiveness of any endeavor? That attempts to divorce human life in the world at large from basic spirituality has marginalized the values that are at the foundation of many beautiful societies and cultures? The bottom line was that I wasn't going to give her money at that time. Fortunately, the encounter gave me palpable reason to introspect on how my personal actions and resources could have a greater impact on the world than they are now. Interestingly, it comes down to this:

"Not by the force of numbers, not by the mere exposition of a set of new and noble principles, not by an organized campaign of teaching - no matter how worldwide and elaborate in its character - not even by the staunchness of our faith or the exaltation of our enthusiasm, can we ultimately hope to vindicate in the eyes of a critical and skeptical age the supreme claim of the Abha Revelation. One thing and only one thing will unfailingly and alone secure the undoubted triumph of this sacred Cause, namely, the extent to which our own inner life and private character mirror forth in their manifold aspects the splendor of those eternal principles proclaimed by Baha'u'llah."  - Shoghi Effendi

Living and trying to make a change in this world - it's very, very hard to effect a positive change in a system when you yourself are working within the system. Take, for example, politics. You may want to change the political system, but ultimately if you want to succeed, you have to play by its rules. Competition. Self-promotion. You need to spend ridiculous amounts of money to get your message out, even though that's the very form of pointlessness you might want to get away from. It's tough.

But then the same applies to other systems with harmful prevailing attitudes. Like the environment of ego and criticism within the scientific/academic community. Or, on the other hand, corporate sponsorship of research. When the system decides the direction of your work and then determines its value, you have no place to be individually effective. Anyone within such a system also becomes *highly susceptible* to its influence ... it's hard enough to maintain your own values and way of treating other people, simply because of the inertia of the status quo. Opposition of any sort makes it even harder.

What if you could be part of a system with noble motives and effective methods that could best harness your talents and strengths and sense of individual initiative? That would be really exciting.

A lot of people would prefer not to work in any system at all - the corruption of many systems lends credibility to the philosophy of individualism. But ultimately individualism is still ineffective. Collaboration makes possible so much more. "Let your vision be world-embracing, rather than confined to your own self."

Baha'u'llah's whole mission was to change the system, to heal its ills - on many levels, personal to global to cosmic. And to be able to proclaim it as fearlessly as He did required Him to be really, really, extremely brave and strong and self-assured. It required inspiration, and it required integrity. To exert transformative and lasting influence, it required Divine power. Well, thank God He had all that. And the ripple effect of that power now becomes the wind beneath the wings and the life within the breath of all people "laying foundations for a spiritual world."

More to come soon - I try to let deeds (not words) be my adorning, but I have had so many thoughts that I wanted to put into words that I started a slough of subjects all at once and when they're written I might as well publish them ... in rapid succession.

12:55 am - growing up, responsibility, trustworthiness

I didn't feel like going to sleep yet, so I decided to write about what's new in my head and beyond.

All of a sudden I'm really into organization and responsibility. This involves keeping a calendar, and keeping a notebook of to-do lists, and tracking all of my expenses. This involves a new level of accountability, so that I can learn to be so reliable that anyone can count on me to complete a task that is needed. I want to be systematic and streamlined and effective, so that my efforts will not be dissipated. A key part of this is learning to set goals and write them down, cultivating high resolve and the ability to carry things to their completion. So I've been doing a lot with my notebook and organizational files. Thus far, doing anything like this has been completely out of character, but I want to change and I believe I'm able to. I'm not going to turn a 180 and develop OCD, but I feel like these steps can help me develop the quality of trustworthiness, which is a "horizon of assurance." I think this world could use some assurance... agree? disagree? And growing up itself, in the true sense of the word, involves a maturation of qualities such as trustworthiness, patience, and other elements of character which are the choice fruits of the tree of the human spirit.

I don't know, I guess I should be at least kind of grown up before I turn 21!

Spiritual goals and the skills of living in the world really go hand in hand. It's not all some separate, abstract mystical dimension. In order to be of service to the world of humanity, we have to learn to integrate all aspects of our lives and our beings. How do I spend my time? How do I contribute or make use of my material wealth? Where do I apply my mind and my intellect? I'm starting to realize more how it's important to think about taking care of my health and my body. It's a gift to be healthy and able-bodied and that's a chance to be able to give more energy to everything I do. One speculation that I'm exploring right now is that saturated fats (i.e. animal products) take away my energy when I eat them. I haven't proven it scientifically, but it might be the case. You know that feeling of "food coma" after a meal? I've noticed that it doesn't seem to happen when I eat vegan meals... I'm not going to make the hardcore leap of veganism at this point (moderation in all things!) but it's something to consider trying out more.

...And a lot of other things, too. Goal-setting is awesome, and not nearly as hokey as I once perceived it to be. Organization isn't just for over-achievers and kids in management. It's something that even * I * can get into. So that's the moral of the story.

On that note, I'm going to be responsible and go to sleep now so that my co-workers can trust me to do by best at work tomorrow :)

Love, Mona

11:47 pm - winking

O Man of Two Visions!
Close one eye and open the other.
Close one to the world and all that is therein,
and open the other to the hallowed beauty of the Beloved.

I lay all my affairs in Thy hand. Thou art my guide and my refuge.




I am not apologetic, due to the fact that my stance is not defensive, due to the fact that fears are starting to reveal themselves to me in their true nature as quite irrelevant entities.

So much of this online publication earlier focused on me wanting other people to understand and validate my thought processes. Wow.

But now I'm like..."Who cares?"

Sometimes a need will arise for me to answer to the world in some way or another, in defense of certain truths if and when they come under attack, but the world's validation of my self-alignment of those truths is wholly and utterly worthless.

Wow.

Take a deep breath, and give thanks to God, because fears and drama don't even matter, not one bit,
no, not at all.

02:36 am - some strange mysticism

I am sure that the spiritual laws operate like the natural laws, and indeed are fundamentally natural laws. I couldn't bring myself to believe in them otherwise. Arbitrary constructions don't fit in to the universe-concept that seems to be...hard to explain, it's kind of like a well-fitting garment that I didn't just wake up and put on one day. I merely turn around and notice that I've put my arm through the sleeve that I didn't know was there, and it's exactly the right length and neither tight nor loose. So, everything is very simple.

We are all interconnected, originating from the same will and command, the same foundation of being, and every thing we see, as it 'exists,' is an expression of potential (read: the infinitude of possibility). All matter is energy and all energy is matter, and somehow both of those boil down to overlapping probabilities and math that's slightly over my head... And some forms of potential are latent: The chemical
potential of combustion, before we light the wick. The atom, before we split it.

The great Teachers, knowing reality, have told us some important things. For one, our perception does not encompass all of the wonderful things that exist, that have emanated from God, brought forth from the realms of the possible through the pre-existent Word of Command. All created things have latent capacities that we have only begun to discover. Human potential is the greatest. Individually, collectively. See? This is Humanism at its finest! :)

The conformation of things must be in a certain way in order for their potentials to be manifested. A seed needs the right conditions to grow into a tree. So, by what array of conditions do these human souls realize their unseen and unimagined spectrum of potentialities?

Part of it is to get our consciousness working for us. We have to live in the truth and be part of it. No way can we separate ourselves and still truly live. If we deny that we are interconnected with one another and sustained by the one same Sustainer, then that's exactly what it says - denial. In denial of thermodynamics, we can't make machines work. In denial of health science, we don't gain physical strength and endurance. We may get lucky, and often get by very well with incomplete knowledge, because it at least works for the right situation, like Newtonian physics on the correct size scale at the correct speeds. But if we deny the principles of structural stability, then all of our bridges will collapse. If we deny the principles of spiritual reality, we live in an unstable imagining and hinder ourselves from understanding and embracing what is more real and lasting.

What does it mean to attain eternal life? I'll tell you what it doesn't mean. It doesn't mean, "If you answer this question correctly when you die, you get to not die, and live forever instead." Eternal life is eternal, so it exists right now and it always has existed and it always will exist. It exists for us while we live on Earth. We can discover the hidden mysteries and reveal our potentials and live in the truth, which is eternal, and that is how we partake of and attain the eternal life. Finding the path of acknowledgment, we align our inner beings in such a way to unblock the free flows of love and inspiration. "Sin" means to refuse acknowledgment, and seek to be cut off, and refuse the bounty offered, inasmuch as

"The whole duty of man in this Day is to attain that share of the flood of grace which God poureth forth for him."

A part of this grace is that in every age we are given a Divine Educator to help us transform our inner selves and move society toward greater knowledge, peace, and oneness. They help us understand ourselves and the potential in our lives and the world around us, and teach us how to love more perfectly and to be, ourselves, the grace of God manifested in the world.

People can find forms of enlightenment and do great things while not necessarily accepting and following God's Manifestation, and none of those good things are negated in any way. They deserve much praise. And people can accept and follow God's Manifestation and yet fail to actively learn and be transformed. They may end up partaking of less good, especially if they fall into self-satisfaction or apathy. It is a moot point to draw labels between the alleged "believer" and "non-believer." In both cases, the point is that this Divine Education, so awesomely and generously provided for us, is not redundant to anyone, much less to the world as a whole. Much is available to us, and it is a shame, a loss, if we don't use it for our benefit. This applies to everyone. It is very simple.

The concept of "education" helps us to understand the purpose of the Divine Educators, like so:

"Regard man as a mine rich in gems of inestimable value. Education can, alone, cause it to reveal its treasures, and enable mankind to benefit therefrom. If any man were to meditate on that which the Scriptures, sent down from the heaven of God's holy Will, have revealed, he would readily recognize that their purpose is that all men shall be regarded as one soul, so that the seal bearing the words ' The Kingdom shall be God's' may be stamped on every heart, and the light of Divine bounty, of grace, and mercy may envelop all mankind."

See? Education mines the gems that are latent in our inner reality, bringing them to the benefit of mankind, and this is how God's grace and mercy envelop all of us, through all of us.

That's why worship of God is important and not a form of slavery or oppression. It's simple alignment. Again, it unlocks that which is in ourselves.

There is a matrix that defines a sub-domain of reality, and it is known as material reality. We're not bound to this matrix forever, and upon leaving we gain a new perspective of what is already there. We gain a new perspective of ourselves. We can see some things a lot more clearly. If it is easy to be in denial of spiritual reality when we are alive, the great Teachers tell us that we do not have that luxury anymore upon death. This isn't something they inflict on us...it's the underlying reality that they reveal to us.

We are told that if we have lived in denial of our duty and our potential, then at this point of physical death, we will become aware of the good things that have escaped us. This is just very simply a natural consequence and not an arbitrary 'assignment' of final fate. Like I said: everything is very simple.

None of these stations, acceptance or denial, connectedness or separation, are necessarily time-dependent. It is possible that in an instant we fully attain eternal life, or in an instant we cast it all behind our backs and deem it worthless, and both these things are possible even at the very moment of death.

"O My servants! The one true God is My witness! This most great, this fathomless and surging Ocean is near, astonishingly near, unto you. Behold it is closer to you than your life-vein! Swift as the twinkling of an eye ye can, if ye but wish it, reach and partake of this imperishable favor, this God-given grace, this incorruptible gift, this most potent and unspeakably glorious bounty."

So, we're all in the same condition, and "none knoweth what his own end shall be," so we have to be humble.

This is long. What can I say? My Ruhi group studying "Reflections on the Life of the Spirit" has really gotten me (paradoxically) to reflect a lot lately on the life of the spirit. Also, it's finals week. Deep thoughts come up and writing them down is a great way to not study.

May we all be blessed with oneness...

09:33 am - God Speculation

The premise: The concept of God is ridiculous because people claim that everything was created by something much more complex than us that we can’t understand…but then that would necessitate something even more complex creating that “God,” and you have this fantastic chain of “Creators of Creators.” Well, I’m not going to lie. That is quite ridiculous.

Michael relayed to me a concept embodied in the phrase “Ground of Being,” basically stating that everything more complex was built up from simpler things, down to energy and whatever is even more foundational than that. Instead of a most complex creature, we have the “Ground of Being,” the most foundational condition of reality. So he’d say something like, “I don’t thank God for creating me…I give thanks to the Ground of Being for giving me Being.”

WELL…you know what? I would say “yes, right on.” Why? Because the Baha'i writings don’t define God as some more complex creature; rather, God is the “Divine and Invisible Essence,” the “Preexistent Reality.”

“Preexistent Reality” and “Ground of Being.” Think about it! Both imply a sort of foundation of existence. And, as in my previous speculation, I will carry forth the point that whatever you may call the foundation of existence, on which all existence depends, it must of a certainty encompass all possibility.

In other words, that which is more foundational encompasses the possibilities of whatsoever complex manifestations are derived from it. To specify is to define, and to define is to limit. Hence, the foundation of all being is the most undefined and the most limitless.

(The concept of “tree” is unspecific, and yet it is the foundation for every species of tree in existence. When you don’t define what kind of tree it is, the possibilities are all there.)

Seeing as we have existence, it follows that whatever we call the “foundation of all existence” has the power to bring concepts and possibilities into reality.

I have heard expressed the thought that whatever the power of the universe is that governs the laws of nature and ties everything together, it is definitely not in the form of an individual, a.k.a. a “Personal God.”

But of course!!! The foundation of all being cannot be contained within the limits of a human concept of individuality, personality. These are too limiting and specific. A word on limitlessness as revealed in Islam…

"No vision taketh in Him, but He taketh in all vision; He is the Subtile, the All-Perceiving."[1] [1 Qur'án 6:103.] (Baha'u'llah, The Kitab-i-Iqan, p. 98)

Anyway, I’m turning it around now. Whereas God is not limited to a specific Person, I must say that as the Preexistent Reality, God must definitely encompass both the impersonal and the personal. Just because the limit, the confinement is absent, does not mean that God is incapable of understanding and possessing personality. Setting aside the connotations of personality as we know it, we can still say that the Preexistent reality is a unified entity (!) that is the foundation of infinite forms.

AND, if God chooses to relate to us in the form of a Divine Personality, even though His/Its essence is foundational beyond (or poetically speaking “exalted above) such attributes, it’s a good thing, for the sake of our own comprehension. I’ve quoted this before but I’ll do it again:

O SON OF BEAUTY!
By My spirit and by My favor! By My mercy and by My beauty! All that I have revealed unto thee with the tongue of power, and have written for thee with the pen of might, hath been in accordance with thy capacity and understanding, not with My state and the melody of My voice. (Baha'u'llah, The Arabic Hidden Words)

Um…no further explanation required.

One more thought:

Materialists will assert that consciousness itself depends on the physical form of the brain and its specific electrochemical activity.  I will say that this form is necessary in order to attract the power of consciousness to a point in the physical world, thereby binding it to a specific time, place and individualized frame of reference.

While writing this I did a search in Ocean for “Preexistent.” I’m delighted right now to find that the inklings of my speculation are exponentially developed in the writings of Abdu'l-Bahá, in parts of “Some Answered Questions” that I never got around to reading in my adult life. (If I saw these passages before, at age 12 when I first explored the book, suffice it to say that they went over my head and I lost interest).

Life beckons and I will end this for now. Suffice it to say, I will be reading more from Some Answered Questions in the near future and will probably have more to say about it soon…

With love,
Mona

04:19 pm - The Day of Judgment

I was just thinking about the vast difference between this age and the entire past history of humanity, and some thoughts came to my mind about palpable ways in which this time period exemplifies the concept of the Day of Judgment.

I associate this concept with a period of time in which every individual is called to account - as in, to an unprecedented level of accountability.

One example of this is the great emphasis on independent investigation of the truth, emphasized by Baha'u'llah, along with the abolition of the institution of the clergy. With the potential for universal literacy comes the responsibility of each person to take ownership of their own relationship with God (or lack thereof). Judgment is obviously related to justice, and the essence of justice is actually exemplified by the concept of individual investigation, as described in this passage:

O SON OF SPIRIT!
The best beloved of all things in My sight is Justice; turn not away therefrom if thou desirest Me, and neglect it not that I may confide in thee. By its aid thou shalt see with thine own eyes and not through the eyes of others, and shalt know of thine own knowledge and not through the knowledge of thy neighbor. Ponder this in thy heart; how it behooveth thee to be. Verily justice is My gift to thee and the sign of My loving-kindness. Set it then before thine eyes.

    (Baha'u'llah, The Arabic Hidden Words)


See what I mean?


Closely tied to this is the growing worldwide awareness of social injustice - every form of widespread oppression based on any kind of "us vs. them" mentality.  Global oppressions are now tearing the world apart at the seams, as oppressors refuse to humble themselves before God or Nature and to recognize themselves as equals with every other human being. It is at this time, more than ever, as we become more and more interconnected, that every person has a duty to uphold justice for all, under the looming threat of large-scale violence and the stark reality of ecological meltdown. [Earth Democracy, anyone?]

In religious terms, salvation has always depended and will continue to depend on the mercy of God, but our individual part to play has grown with our collective human capacity, as action itself is necessarily sustained through grace. The two concepts are inseparable.

Catastrophe, Divine Guidance, The Explosion of Knowledge, The Ingathering of Mankind. We are standing now on the brink of eternity.

...Thoughts?

07:41 pm - clearly

Let’s juxtapose some wisdoms.

52. O SON OF MAN!
Should prosperity befall thee, rejoice not, and should abasement come upon thee, grieve not, for both shall pass away and be no more.

    (Baha'u'llah, The Arabic Hidden Words)

35. O SON OF MAN!
Sorrow not save that thou art far from Us. Rejoice not save that thou art drawing near and returning unto Us.

    (Baha'u'llah, The Arabic Hidden Words)


I’m sorry if I harp on the same theme over an over again, but then again, this is my livejournal and not yours. 

So, prosperity has befallen me lately…I got both jobs that I wanted. One for the summer and one for next school year.  Should I be thankful?  Yes, completely!  These are good things, blessings.  But what is it worth?  I believe it’s worth what I make of it.  What are the implications beyond my own status and comfort…What if I was to use this to exalt myself above others and make myself important?  Blessing is opportunity, and it goes both ways, I think.  How sad if an opportunity to serve humanity more beautifully is scattered to the wind. Thankfulness is appropriate because it acknowledges God’s bounty.  Rejoicing on account of prosperity itself kind of misses the point though – wait to rejoice until you see that the blessing is helping you spiritually through love and thankfulness to God and to entering a more perfect state of servitude.  Adversity actually can have the same effect, and that’s what really counts! Sheesh!

It pains me to write this because it’s scathingly hypocritical.  I don’t want to sound like I’m instructing anyone toward a humble and spiritual attitude of service that I clearly don’t exemplify.  I would say that ‘Abdu’l-Baha does exemplify this truly, if you care to study His life.

I can still write it to myself though.  It’s a humbling realization to go through.  It’s humbling to receive more than I had hoped for.  Because I’m actually in more of a “sorrowing” state despite all of the prosperity…the radiance and love in my heart is at nowhere near an “all time high” at the moment.  It’s just so interesting that everything you see about a person externally has little to no bearing on his or her inner reality.  And even though I’m not doing everything right, it doesn’t hurt that I’m seeing things a little more clearly.  It helps me recognize that I can’t go on pretending that life is fine and dandy based on increases in status and wealth and comfort.  Awareness is the first step towards positive action.  And yes, this is a word-heavy self-justification; but don’t forget that this is my livejournal after all 

Pray that my life lessons sink in and come to fruition!

Love, Mona

01:39 am - beyond priorities...

A quick side thought (hopefully)...

Spiritual awareness unfortunately isn't just about deciding "OK here's my top priority" and then it comes naturally. I've found that there's a very fundamental life conflict that I really have to fight in order to avoid a state of heedless hovering/ stagnation. Something that puts a damper on every aspiration and effort. Something that practically ensures that I remain dull and lifeless on the inside. Do you know what it is? The answer:









Desire for Comfort.


Gah! Does this even need an explanation? That excited voice inside that tells me I'm alive, that wants to learn new things and develop my senses and faculties and experience life, grows weaker and weaker as comfort overrides it. I don't want to think about anything difficult! I want to be near the familiar! I want everything to be easy!  This is THE MOST DIFFICULT piece to overcome, I'm pretty sure.

I think it takes more than sheer grit and stoic discipline to overcome the comfort instinct - it takes a lot of love. Spiritual vibrancy, the impetus and inspiration that makes comfort seem irrelevant, stems from the love of God, which is the attraction to purity and beauty and majesty. It is very important that this natural attraction of the heart remains strong enough to override the natural inertia of the body, which is the desire for comfort.

Just putting the thought out there as usual!

"O MY CHILDREN! I fear lest, bereft of the melody of the dove of heaven, ye will sink back to the shades of utter loss, and, never having gazed upon the beauty of the rose, return to water and clay." - Baha'u'llah

12:59 am - p r i o r i t i e s

(I needs them.)

Lately I have spent too much time feeling "not like myself." As in, hassled, abased, confused, like I have little control over my life and I'm not sure how to act. I feel distracted and ineffective, I don't understand my own attitudes and behaviors, and now I know why. It's because I'm betraying myself.

I have an ideology, based on experience, that spiritual awareness is the most important thing to maintain. To be wildly successful and yet spiritually oblivious is to have missed the point completely. My new pillar of faith might just be the phrase "True loss is for him whose days have been spent in utter ignorance of his self." But what is the path I follow? You guessed it. True loss.

My biggest fear is failing academic assessments. The whole measure of my success in the world around me is academic prowess, followed perhaps by charisma. And I let myself get sucked in, thereby losing my integrity and the foundation of my character. No wonder my very identity/existence is feeling so unstable. Integrity means acting in accordance with that personal ideology. Do you know what my priorities should *actually* look like? Well here's an idea:

1. Spiritual awareness (mostly maintained through meditation and prayer)
2. Teaching the Faith (to receptive people)
3. Being of service to others; bringing people joy
4. Doing well in school

The plain truth is, if I am who I say I am, I believe that failure to live spiritually is less acceptable before God than failing an exam. Failure to teach the Faith is less acceptable than failure to secure a research grant. Failure to serve others is less acceptable than failure to appear intelligent before my classmates and professors.

It's hard to see things this way, but I have to seize my chance, and priority #1 keeps things in perspective, so I need to stop acting like it can be deferred by other tasks. Life is ticking away.

"O MY SERVANT! Free thyself from the fetters of this world, and loose thy soul from the prison of self. Seize thy chance, for it will come to thee no more."

Current Mood: pensive

01:23 am - "Genesis?" continued within its original post by means of editing

Imagine that nothing exists.

I mean absolutely nothing...there is no such thing as life, reality, not even concepts. Just completely nothing. Because, what would it matter? Why should there be anything? Imagine not only that nothing Is (not even yourself), but also that nothing ever Was. And here we begin to step into the slightly inconceivable realm of Preexistence.

Before the existence of anything (and I mean "before" as in, "as a necessary condition for," inasmuch as we have done away with time for the time being) there is only possibility. Imagine that in this realm of Preexistence, the only entity present is the infinitude of possibility. Because even the most complete annihilation of All Things Being can not erase the phantom of possibility - the seed of every concept, entity, event or reality that could ever Be. In this vast realm of Pre-ideas, all of the possibilities are laid out endlessly before nothing and no one in particular.

And among the necessary possibilities is the supreme possibility of Consciousness.

Suppose this inherent possibility of Consciousness within the sea of endless variation were, by necessity of its awareness, to be aware of every finite element within the vast array of all that could Be. And hence there would preexist this pre-awareness that Love is possible, that Beauty is possible, and all the more perfect the possibility of other Consciousness, to bear witness to the Fruition of the richest of possibilities. More importantly, the preconception of Love is, of course, contingently linked to the preexistent essence of Consciousness, for how could there ever Be an unconscious love?

Therefore, ere the genesis of Time and its passage in the realm of Existence, the "Incomprehensible Essence of Preexistent Consciousness of the Infinitude of All Things" prepossessed a deep love for the possibility of What Could Be.

And among the properties of preexistent Consciousness were conception, volition, and command - As there is no possibility of unconscious conception, unconscious volition, or unconscious command.

And because of this preexistent Love, and by virtue of this sempiternal potentiality of Command, there emanated forth the simultaneous fruition of Existence. Existence was thus the state of conception, command, and emanation from Preexistence, the bringing forth of that which (ere its existence) was no more and no less than a necessary possibility.

These are my (perhaps not quite coherent and/or slightly heretical? all the better...) musings.

Inspiration: The Hidden Words, The Seven Valleys, Some Answered Questions, The Bible, misc. theology and philosophy, etc.

Current Mood: philosophical

01:52 am - cracks open fills up

There come times, sometimes, tiredness leaves cracks in my strength, empty space that splits wider throughout the day.
Don't mind the cracks - all they are is nothing. Fill them up with song.
When hearts are breaking open, fill them up with love.
Crevasses. Valleys. Potholes. Hairline fractures.
All forms of emptiness will be drowned in my song.
All forms of darkness will be drowned in my light.
Where can darkness escape to?
Where can emptiness escape to?
Where can weakness escape to?
Where can hatred escape to?

This is the song that never ends, never ends, never ends.

01:07 am - I wrote this while sitting in Elsabeth's kitchen (incl. quotations)

Innervated with glowing rods of full-spectrum light, rods adrip with rose water, its fragrance seeps out through my pores and I am breathing the essence of serenity. Love mimicks the taste of apples, mangos and pomegranites in my mouth. Anger forgets itself, disappearing not only from the present, but also from the past: complete and retroactive catastrophic oblivion. The strength and sanctity flow through my limbs like an expanding liquid flame that feeds itself by giving of itself in the form of setting aglow all surrounding thought, matter and emotion. Sacred fire, most blessed gift from the ground of Being. Irrepressible gratitude becomes my perpetual prayer spontaneously scintillating. Dedication and devotion and service are its life. Stagnation and obfuscation are its death. But even in this death the embers keep their heat and sear the inner walls of soporific delusion. End poetic transmission.

"Coldness hath gripped all mankind: Where is the warmth of Thy love, O Fire of the worlds?
Calamity hath reached its height: Where are the signs of Thy succor, O Salvation of the worlds?
Darkness hath enveloped most of the peoples: Where is the brightness of Thy splendor, O Radiance of the worlds?"

Current Mood: grateful

09:34 pm - I have as much right to exist as anyone.

You know those buttons that say "I am loved" or "soy amada?"

People may use affirmations to build their self-validation and not be affected by the de-valuing way that others in society might treat them. The tendency of self-blame or self-deprecation is unjust, because nobody deserves to be treated that way. I'm trying to recognize this fact and become more confident and unashamed. To share with you all, here are some affirmations based on the Baha'i writings.


I am a star in the heaven of understanding, the breeze that stirreth at the break of day.

I am a mine rich in gems of inestimable value.

I have been invested with the gifts of understanding and knowledge.

I am the dawning-place of the love of God.

I am a tree of His garden; I must give forth goodly and wondrous fruits.

I am His lamp and His light is in me….For He has created me rich and has bountifully shed His favor upon me.

I have been made with the Hands of God’s power and with the fingers of God’s strength; and within me He has placed the essence of His light…His work is perfect and His command is binding. I question it not, nor have a doubt thereof.

I am created rich. Noble He made me…He gave me being out of the essence of His knowledge. Out of the clay of love I have been molded. I turn my sight unto myself, that I may find Him standing within me, mighty, powerful and self-subsisting.

My heart is His home; I sanctify it for His descent. My spirit is His place of revelation; I cleanse it for His manifestation.

I am His treasury, for in me He has treasured the pearls of His mysteries and the gems of His knowledge.

I am blessed... as He hath made my destiny great and my share victory and happiness.

I am a songster in the meadows of truth.

When the confirmation of the Holy Spirit descendetth, I am not a drop, but a roaring sea!

I am not forgotten for one moment.