So August has come and come and here's September. I never liked September for some reason so I really want it to pass really fast or gimme some good news. But seeing how today turned out.. I'll place my bets on the former. Here's the gist of it:


Boss: We've gotten approval for the renewal of your contract from the higher-ups.
Me: Okay. So this is another 6 mths right?

Boss: Yes, unless you want to have a longer contract?
Me: Er, no. it's fine. Is it possible to get a raise? I know I'm in a new dept but I've been with this company for 2 years...

Boss: You ar.. at most get to eat cake with us during birthday celebrations
Me: ...


So there. I know the chances were slim and I would've understood if she told me something else but WTH!

Thanks for the motivation to work under you man.
Fuck.

You know when you were a kid and your parents compare you to anyone and everyone..? I thought I've outgrown that phase from my dad but NO.

Jeez. If you're gonna compare me to someone else then might as well get that someone else to do it. I can't say I don't mind it coz I do. Especially when I'm from your blood. I'm not anyone else but myself! If I'm good enough for you well, TOO BAD.

So, fuck you.

Maybe it's because of the boredom, or it could be the rain, but I feel empty.

I feel I haven't achieved anything except for fleeting moments of happiness that fades away with time. Nothing substantial. And I don't think it's helping when someone else's low esteem seems to be rubbing off on me.

I need to do something with my life.

Sigh.

Even way before I started work, I've never really like typing emails to my friend in replacement for snail mails. I take ages to reply my personal emails. (No kidding, I once took over half a year to reply one email my friend from overseas sent. Haha.)

For a start, I'm one of those people who likes to keep my snail mails. I like my mails personal. I like to see my friend's handwriting, for better or for worse. Haha!

Emails, to me, are for things that need requires a sense of urgency, ie: work. Writing to a friend is something I feel that you should take your time and enjoy. It should be fun or if not, therapeutic. Haha! In a way, it's like blogging, but specifically addressed to someone. I know there are people out there who blogs just for the sake of. But I don't. So there.

I'm rambling.

So anyways, this post doesn't really have a point but it's just to say I like writing and receiving mails.. old school. <3

Please feel free to send me some. Haha!

xoxo.

I've always wanted to watch a french movie but there's always some excuses along the way. So I got down to watching not one, but TWO of them today.

First up: Taxi (1998)
Heard so much about it but never got about to watching it. Finally got my hands on the show and couldn't wait to watch it. I was not disappointed. The lead is not the most handsome guy in the world but he's so charismatic even though I have no idea what he's saying! <3 The story's pretty simple but good anyway. I like it. :)

Trivia - Written by Luc Besson: one time husband of Milla Jovovich. Haha.

Next: Taxi 2 (or Taxi Taxi) (2000)
Same cast and more. Different scenario. Still <3

Initially, I was considering Nikita or Amélie as well but Taxi won me over because it's comedy. Haha! Maybe next time.

Recount of other European movies I've watched before
: Run Lola Run - German
: The professional - French-English (Not fully french so not counted :p)

Okay. I can only recount these 2. :(

Project #2 - Done!

I was talking to Cass the other day and it happens to be the day I decided to take a break from work.. unofficially. Haha! Which brings our topic to a book I've borrow from her once - 52 Projects. It really was that easy and might I say, felt damn good doing it too. Haha!

I remember project #25 from the book pretty well. It goes something like this:

Wake up. Call in sick.

I don't think it can get any simpler than that.
So there.
My project #1.

Here's to 51 or more to go. :)

.. seemed to just passed by like *snap*. It feels like a lot of things has happened but yet seems to surreal because it went by too fast.

I got my driver's license and had my first drive and public parking. Even had my first passenger excluding my mom. Now that's that's over, driving doesn't seem to fun anymore. Yes, I'm a typical gemini. Went to had good food around the area courtesy of a couple of friends. With food came gossip. Teasing little boy who just got his first girlfriend is kinda fun. Haha! Also managed to meet up with a few friends that I haven't seen for quite some time. Friends who went overseas only made me feel that I really want to get out of here, asap. I love the joy of travelling, from the hassle of doing administrative stuff like visa to planning my trip from time and place. Caught some movies that I've wanted and then.. I got myself a job. This comes the part where time really took off in light speed.

I went in not knowing anything other than my supposed job scope, and one week later in the dept meeting, it was announced that 3 of our colleagues have resigned. After that, came an influx of chaos. The work isn't too bad at first but slowly and surely, it got worse. I started reaching the office at 8am and even then, I still wasn't able to go home until late. :(

It's not like I don't understand that work is never ending, in fact I'd probably be the first one to tell you that, but sometimes it's really tough to meet your boss's expectation of your work plus someone else's rolled in one. Well, work I can handle but teaching, I can't. Work is tough but I'll eventually get used to it but teaching another person is a whole different ball game altogether. I welcomed the challenge but in the end.. I just did not do that great. Thus, it was passed on to my other colleague. At least I tried. :/ I feel overloaded at work but I'll keep going. I would like to think I'm thriving. Haha! But the fact of the matter is, even thought I like my work now (maybe because it's new and I'm showing results), I'm feeling the heat and eventually, I'll probably burnout.

Ultimately, the poor new fella tendered after 1 week of working in my dept. He realised that he isn't suitable for the corporate world and that he loved doing volunteering work and thus applied and got a job as a Social Worker. Him getting a first class honours in Econs and Finance re-confirmed the saying of grades in academia != performance in real life work situations. Although he's not that great at work, he's really a nice guy. Hopes he's able to live the life he wants it to be. :)

So then, all 3 resigned staffs had left the bank. I'm quite sad as I got quite close to one of them at the end. We'll definitely KIC. She's going to UQ, so everytime I go back to Brisbane, I can look for her as well. Haha! Before she left, she gave me a head's up on some things about the people in the dept and it made me feel sad. Another lesson that I knew and re-learned: "Ignorance is bliss".

It's a good thing I have great colleagues with the same sense of humor. Not all of them but the ones that are, keeps my sanity in check. Sometimes the reason we stay late might have contributed from our chats that last up to half an hour after office hours. And it's not like we're sitting around and decided that we should talk but rather, it always kinda just happens. They're so awesome. Being able to laugh at work is damn important to me. :)

And here's to the last scorching day of May.
Happy Birthday to myself. HAHA!
And like Cass always say:

I'm forever 18!

Rofl.

Got bored so I went to test out the Polaroid stock image I had lying around and tape effect in Photoshop. I thought the photo looked alright, tried to make it as close as the real thing as possible but the tape looks really fake.. and blue-ish. I have no idea why but I thought it was okay for a first try.

Taken by Geri during dinner at Cybercity after attending Ekka '06 with her gang.


Edited: found out this post happens to be my 777th one. Haha!

I think I'm seriously lacking something fundamental in life. I have no idea what these days seen to leave me feeling unfulfilled. Maybe it's the lack of work; a reminisce of what used to be. Whatever is it, I better find it soon. Else I wouldn't want to think of what I would do just for temporary gratification.

Maybe it's time for a haircut.

Okay, not really but it's been some time.

It's been a good day today.
I'm happy.
I've finally rid of YCK. Haha!

YAY!

Photos are arranged from my POV that's why it's so ME-centric. Haha..
Missed out on the chalet photos just because there was too many to sift through and I got lazy.





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The last month of 2008 was a month of departing. My colleagues took their long deserved vacations and by the time I left, half of them weren't around. Yes, I left. Finally. It took me a while to decide whether I should stay or go but I finally decided on leaving for 2 reasons; basically so I can finally get my butt off and look for something else and also so that I would not be stuck in the comfort zone. And it being the end of the year and all, it was "perfect timing". With all the financial crisis and job cuts, you'd probably say that I should stay and look for something before leaving. Well, in my defense, I say that leaving whenever is the same because the more I drag out the time I stay at Citi, the more I won't.. which brings us back to the reason of being stuck in the comfort zone, which also indirectly affects getting my butt off to find something else. I hope I'm making sense...

Anyhow, I was ill on my second last day at work and had to be on MC on my last day. Yes, I know. It's really stupid. Although I've already settled all my work stuff, I still have to head back to the office to get my stuff home one of these days. I made it a point to go next Tuesday. Let me tell you about this idiotic illness that has plagued me since my brother came and went. Like I said, I had a fever on my last day of work and thus could not make it to Deb's party. So after a couple of days, I felt a little better and went out for a few hours to Cass's place and had a relapse the next day. As with any other relapses, it was worse than the first time. This time, I also had running nose, a really bad cough case and I've utterly lost my voice for so many days. For those people who know me, I nearly died not being able to talk for almost a week. So yes, that summed up my first week of the new year - being totally trashed by viruses.

I'm pretty sure I've missed out like a ton of stuff to write about but I'm too tired to think about it. I've finally got about clearing the stuff in my room. Yes, in merely 7 hours I clear 6 bags worth of crap out of my room. And that only makes me want to clear everything out even more. Plus, since I didn't get enough sleep today and is cranky, all minor sentimentality is thrown out the window and into the trash. Albeit it only being a small corner of my room, it does feel, surprisingly, a lot more spacious now. And while clearing, I managed to do all my laundry except the ones I need to bleach. And not to mention I've completed the photo collage I was working since I failed my driving test, AGAIN. Feels great to be productive but I am now extremely drained. My eyes can hardly keep up. Hope I'd be able to get some proper sleep tonight :/

I've written a total of 13 entries for the whole of 2008. That's pretty sad.
Photos coming up soon.
I want to go Ikea!!!

T'is a sad sad day, indeed.

I haven't done this in a long time...

( Read more... )

Haha. Well, it more than a month since the previous entry. Lots of things happened and so many things I wanna write about but don't really know where to start. Work's been hell but got better recently. Maybe it's because the project's coming to an end and things are in their final leg. Thank God. Haha.. Anymore OTs and I think I'll seriously jump off my office building.

In the same light, my boss's been pretty nice to all of us recently, after the death of someone from his side and mine. I wonder if it's because he realised that life's too short to always be harping on work and treating the office as a second home. At least it's never too late. He's been smiling a lot more now. It was kinda creepy at first, like Cassandra's userpic on MSN. But now that we've all gotten used to it.. it's all good. Thou, he still scares the hell outta us when he cracks jokes. Haha

I made a breakthrough recently as well, physically anyway. Went to Mt Faber with Nigel and Haro to.. well.. just explore. It was just the kinda thing I needed - exercise. The 4 hour climb and walk, from Mt Faber to Henderson Bridge, to the Alexander Arch and ack, wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. In fact, just the opposite. Since I'm the type that has never ending curiosity and wants to explore anything and everything. It was perfect. It sure as hell beats being in a hamster cage running on the same spot forever.

Met up with Ames and Debs recently and passed them their stuff that's 3 mths overdue. Haha! Debs had the impression that the DVDs were a gift and I didn't have the heart to tell her to return the money, and I'm sure as hell that my brother won't ask the money from her either. So, we'll see how it goes. On the same day, I found out something that really pissed me off and felt very untrustworthy and probably a failure as a family member. Guess we'd just leave it at that. Hope things turn out alright in the end, however so anyway.

They went for a palm reading session the day after I met up with them and what the fella told Ames made me laugh. She's one heck of a girl, I tell ya. All I can say is, work hard and good luck. :P

Project Rollout and Driving Test in 2 weeks. I'm so excited and scared as hell. Wish me luck!

After the short trip and all the driving lessons, my one month break has ended. If anyone was to ask me now how it felt, I'd day that it felt like it never happened. I went back to work only to find myself in the deep end of the pool, drowning in OTs, stress and gastric attacks. Popping gastric pills is like eating a vitamin tablet now. It's so norm that it's sad.

Within the month as well, I got to witness a memorable moment of a friend's big purchase - a car. Maybe someday it'd be my turn but till then I enjoy the feeling of being picked up by a friend, hahaha. I've booked the date for my TP but I'm not too sure about the timing I've booked. Seems like a peak hour but somehow I thinking that's it's alright. Maybe it's a sign? Haha.

Got a day off work today in replacement of working on Saturday. I didn't realized I was so tired until today. I knew that my shoulders were killing me but that's so norm now as well now that I didn't give it much thought. I did absolutely nothing today except for my laundry and falling asleep a couple of times and I still feel like I don't have enough rest. It's true that you don't know the severity of something until you've stopped. Ugh. My shoulders still aches pretty badly. Maybe I should get a massage? Hahaha..

My new colleague joined us before I took my break but until recently, I haven't really talked to him. And when I did, I found out a couple of things within that 1 hour chat that really made me think about a lot of stuff in my life. My moment of epiphany eh? Hmmm..

I need to start moving, physically and otherwise. I feel down on confidence and belief, losing my sense of humour and the little bit of creativity that I have left. Negativity's (as if I don't have more than enough already) breathing down my neck every second I'm doing something that I feel isn't "productive". By productive, I mean life-wise. I wanna learn stuff but I don't know what.

On retrospect, 2008 hasn't been too bad either, actually.
Guess I should say "don't stop" rather than "start moving"? Hahaha.

I have photos I want to post but I'm lazy, so till next time, toodles.

First time on wireless outside a house. Feeling damn shiok now.

Relaxing outdoors feels so good.
No parents nagging!
Cool breeze and not too bad food.

Ah.. this is good.


Don't get why MSN wont let me download it's damn file though.

2 Aug: Back from Brisbane. =(

4 Aug: Passed my FTT and collected my Asus notebook. =)

6 Aug: Sucked at first driving lesson =/

7 Aug: Doing better on the second today =D


P/S - Having an instructor that suits you really does matter.

I love Brisbane.

When I told others that I was coming here to do nothing, they went o_O, but I didn't care. I can always come up with things to do as and when I feel like it here.

I love the cold air.
I love the sense of familiarity, albeit a little different since I last left.
I love the freedom.
I love the people.
I love almost.. almost everything.

I feel happy now. Free.
Haven't felt like this in a long time.

=)


Side note: the plane ride wasn't too bad