Emma

So confused

2008-10-12T14:43:48Z

I don't know if I event old you about Eyecandy, maybe I only told J. It's a guy at work.

Worried

2008-10-12T14:29:18Z

I just have that feeling...something will happen and hit me in the face. E2 and J, you knows what I'm talking about and I have the feeling of a setback. A hard setback...

Yesterday I went partying with my cousins. Bad before we came to the club. Ok there, met Eyecandy there, got a hug...damn...Met some other friends, but spended the night in my cous, his friend and M's company. Then it was afterparty at M's. Oh god...but it was fun. Although my cous' friend R hitted on me all night and it got annoying. But it was good, it was...

I called E2 today, ahven't heard from her in a long time, but as usual she had to rush away and if she don't have time to talk, I haven't :)

Tonight is choirpractice and coffee:) Good tradition. She wasn't with us out last night so I'm gonna tell her about last night adventures

O-oh...

2008-10-11T09:01:08Z

Ok, sorry for not updateting for over a week. I haven't been so busy but tired and when I had energy I rather did other things. So lets see what I have to tell you...

Last weekend I spend with my friend E1, we watched a movie, Juno which by the way was just as good as I thought, great great movie. So we had ice-cream, coffee and just sunk down in the couch. Later her big sis' boyfriend and her brother came and we hung out with them. Sunday it was choir-practice and afterwards we had coffee, ofcourse, in the night open cafe. It's a new tradition every sunday evening. I also found out that my ex has a new girl, a volunteer at the church, a shy, quiet and I'm not saying this because I'm bitter, believe me I'm not, but not sweet girl. I almost never say that anyone doesn't look good, but she really doesn't. She has like the worst egg-head I've seen and no chin, with I'm allergic too. So they will make a good couple because he has a egghead and no chin too.

This week my former classmate, H, has been my teacher at work and she is good! I had fun and learned fast. Not much has happend this week at all. Just work work...Eyecandy is a nice guy, I talked a bit with him this week, and he actually has been talking to me, asking if I'm coming with them to the restaurnat. And tonight I dreamed about him...that's bad. That's how it started with workguy, and I don't want to fall for this one, who btw has the same name as workguy, The reason for me don't want to fall for him is that he is like a "famous" great looking guy here in our town. Like (and sorry J for me sounding like Val) every girl in my age and one or two years younger know who he is, just because he looks good. And, I'm sure that he is used to thin, younger, really good looking girls, sweet girls (because he plays handball) and wouldn't be interested in a girl like me. And I'm not saying that I'm fat, not sweet etc etc. I'm a normal girl. But you know, the one thing worst then getting your heart broken is un answered attraction. So I don't want to start feel things for him. But awh, he has a cute boyish charm...my god...this will not go well....

Tonight I'm going out with my cousins I guess...but I don't know what to wear...I would love to wear a dress of mine, but I'm having my period so that is not a great idea...OMG! I think two apples high will be out tonight! HE said that he would be back in town in two weeks and it's two weeks ago I met him.

Yesterday I watched Indiana Jones 4 with my family. And this entry will be too long if I don't hide my review so if you are interested to read it klick I'm a huge Indiana Jones fan, I love the other movies and got irritated when my ex laughed and said the movies was tacky and bad done. Ok they are old so what do you expect?! Anyway, it started out good but aliens?! MY FREAKIN GOD!!! Indiana isn't about sci-fi, it's mystical, legends and maybe magic but aliens?! Bad bad bad BAD end!!!! PH-LEASE! Were they out of ideas or what? Aliens? Other wixe it had a true Indiana Jones spirit, with jungles, evil guys, and old artifacts

Uhg...

2008-10-02T19:02:26Z

I feel sick. What if I get sick and start vomiting? Yuck, I don't want that...

Ok so my first two days on my new job. I do miss the mine, and I feel that some element is going to bore me to death because of the monotonous. Ok, you say, Says the girl who drove the same route everyday this summer. But that, my friends, are different because one load is never the same as the last one. But I think it's ok, I have to think all the time so it's good. Not that hard, but several small steps that I need to remember, and numbers and stuff. But I think it will be fine. I have the nicest guy teaching me, a young guy, like 25, funny and so patience even though I ask and ask and ask. I like him, and the good thing is, I will do a afternoonshift-week and it's with him so...that's good. Other wise I will begin at 6 and get home around 3...blah. I hate mornings...But as I said, I like him, I was lucky I think that got a funny and talkactive guy, without stupid jokes. My teacher at truckdriving is notorious for his bad jokes...

I haven't been missing being dead in the afternoon. I hope I can sleep tonight, because I made 1,5 hours in the couch today. Bad bad me.

Me and my friend E1 want to dress up this weekend but not get drunk. I want to go clubing but I don't think she was up for it...too bad! I guess I have to talk her in to it ;)

Well that's about it...I like my teacher:) Too bad he doesn't look better. But he is that kind of guy that you can fall for just because he is nice, sweet and fun.

Oh oh!

2008-09-30T20:59:07Z

I forgot: the first snow is falling right in this second! Not to stay but still...top that!

D-Day

2008-09-30T20:52:47Z

Tomorrow is my first day at my new "job". OR payed education. I don't even know if I told you, but I'm going to get an other education at the mine company, in one of the laboratorys. I'm nervous! I'm not really sure of were I'm going, if I'm going to like it, if I will like it more then the mine, but I doubth that, what if I don't make it? What if I really suck? And the things I can do wrong, you don't understand. I will work with actuall research, if I mess up a whole ship-load of ore or iron pellet might have to be redirected! I haven't even tried this job and I allready miss the mine!

...But I learned to drive four different vehicle in five weeks so I should be able to learn this too...After all, I am a sciencegirl....

I did some serious shopping today:) But my day started with important doing, like getting a parking-permission to my new job, making sure my card works, had coffee with my friend E1 and yes she is my coffee-buddie no.1! After two hours at the cafe we hit the stores and I got my self three pair of new undies:) I love, LOVE underwear. And after doing boring bank-matters, we went to Dollar-store! Good store.

Being home fore a little while I followed my parents and my sis back in to town and I got a new pair of shoes, sneakers so I can throw out my old ones, a sweet dress, leggings and a home-archives you know one of that folders were you sort out your pappers.

I want to go out this weekend too...but I will see what I'll do. I wont drink...as much, this time at least. Maybe I go out...

Me and my mom was watching Top Model 9, when commercial came on and we zapped over to Ugly Betty and Daniel asked his girl to move in with him and my mom sighed and said with a semi-tired/tormented voice, the same voice she use to me when she got sick of this guy (from the first time I watched a movie with him) the same voice she used when she talked to me about workguy the same voice I hate! I lost it, wait...I just get so mad...well she said "*sigh* They always have such a hurry in movies..." I had to ask her what two times before she explained, and she ment that they move in together so fast, and do things like that so fast. I had to say to her that she doesn't even know how long they been together with an exclamation mark after! And then I realized how my life can be. I hear her, when I'm telling her that I'm moving in, when me and my boyfriend sleep at each other etc etc. It feels awfule because it has already started. When I was with workguy, and I was going to sleep there for the first time (as my parents know of:) ) she had the same voice "I don't understand why you have to be in such a rush..." And later when he broke up, "Well next time you might slow it down..." Aaahhrg! I hate that voice!

I don't know if I'm made for a monday-friday job. I like shifts. And I might have to do the mon-fri thing until new years eve...

Lazy Girl

2008-09-29T13:14:37Z

I am a Lazy Girl. Not just a lazy girl, but a Lazy Girl. I'm still in my gym-clothes and I have been home from the gym since around 1. My idea of a great saturday is to lay in bed in hours after you woke up. My and workguy did that everytime I spend the night with him. We woke up around 10-12, depending how late we were up the night before, and just spend hours in bed. We usually didn't eat breakfast before 1 or 2. And we just talked, laughed, doozed off, had sex and just enjoyed each other and each others company. God I miss him...I can't imagine to be with a guy that can't spend a morning with me in bed. Or a whole day! At least a lazy day, not in bed necessarily but you know, long sleep morning, long morning in bed, brunch out, back home and just lay in the couch, cuddle and talk, dinner, a movie in the evening and nice sex before bed again:) Perfect spend day.

I did good at the gym today, kinda proud over me:) I saw a former co-worker too. Luckly NOT workguy, I'm still affraid to bump in to him at the gym. I really don't want to see him.

Hmm nothing more to say...maybe I should hit the shower:)

Oh my Gooooood...

2008-09-28T13:35:51Z

I had a good weekend and a great friday! The only thing is that now I'm a proved slut. Well you will get the whole story...
Friday: We started out at E1 and did our make up, got dressed and warmed up with two rum and coke...each. My cousin picked us up and took us to a party at his friend. BTW I have the nices cousins ever. Anyway, this friend of him, M, is a unsecure guy, really nice but he plays around with girls. But he look good:) I have been there before, it was his friend I dated really shortly this summer, clubguy. Anyway...I lost were I was going...Oh now, well there he offer me whisky and as the whisky drinking girl I am I said yes. He liked it, and said I was a hard girl. We kinda flirted all night at his place. I also had one barcardi breezer and a cube, I don't even know if you know what that is. And he sat next to me, flirting, huging and touching me and I didn't mind. My cousin wasn't so happy about it, but not angry with me, because he don't like his friends hitting on his cousin. And then I found out that M has a girl, or dating. So I backed off, ofcourse. So we called a cab to take us in to town and M kept going and I'm sad to say that I didn't stop him, I thought in my kinda drunken state of mind that he wouldn't do it if he had a girl. So I told him that he shouldn't do things, becuase he has a girl. But then he loudly starts to protest and drags me in to his house again, because now I sat in the cab and started to ask who told me he has a girl. Then I found out that I know her! Thank God he didn't come with us to the club because I can't say that I would've kept my fingers off him. But it's bad enough that he flirts, touch and actually grabbed my ass several times. I feel sorry for his girl. Or girl, I asked her later that evening because I met her (have been working with her this summer btw) and I asked her if she is with M, and she like smiled and said: yes a bit. So...he is an ass, but a nice one, if there is something like that, and I feel sorry for her. The thing is I could imagine to have fun with him, but never have him as my boyfriend. So I'm glad he didn't come with us...

Later that evening, when I sober up a bit a two apple tall guy started to hit on me. I start laughing when I think about him, my god he was short! I mean I had heels on, but I can promise you that he was shorter then me without my heels too! I have nothing against short guys, they just don't turn me on. Clubguy was short. Or not short, but not as tall as I wished. And I had a turn on with the workguy so... Well he was drunk and wanted me to come on after-party at his place but I said no. Or not no, but I just...slipped away when he didn't see me.

Saturday: I didn't have a hung over, not a bad on. So I thought, and this is the second time I did this mistake, I'm well enough to go shopping with my mom...Well I was well enough to sit in the couch eating chips, but not well enough to go shopping. Not well enough to walk longer distance and not well enough to be really happy and talkactive.

This night mysteryguy called me, drunk as usual, and I just had enough. I talked to him for a little while, but then I hung up. Now I got a text, him saying his going to call today but he hasn't still so...I'm sick of him. I don't need a guy like that in my life.

Today : I haven't done nothing. I will do nothing. Just sing tonight because it's choir-practice. But nothing else then that.

Tired...

2008-09-25T12:42:00Z

My God what a morning! FIrst I woke up, as usual by my muscular spasm arooouuunnddd 7am. Then the morning continued with a text from a friend, around 8. Then an ohter text from and other friend soon after just when I had gone back to sleep. Then a stupid person trying to send me free socks called around 9, and ooofcoouurse not, it's not commiting to anything. Yeah right, it's always! I hate when they are pushy even though you say no, not once, not twice but three times!

Awh I have some sore muscles after yesterday. There was no yoga so I slipped in to the gym. But I didn't ahve any gymshoes, so I took some slippers they have there and jumped up on a bike and I worked legs like hell! Well I'm kinda satisfied with my self:)

Today I picked up my friend E1 from the bus station, after she had been home for some days. We did as we always do and took a coffee at a cafe and then we made the town unsafe. OR she bought a cap and I bought those jelly things you put in your shoes. After that we did the important shopping, we headed to the, dictionary word: the state-controlled company for the sale of alcoholic beverages. We are going to paaarthee tomorrow and I'm guessing we will do a good job:)

Well I don't know about the shoes I bought. I don't know what to wear to them...not good...Do I have to return a pair of shoes the first time in my life?

Road trip with my parents

2008-09-23T22:18:52Z

Ok so off to look at a car for me. 230 km away to a place. In the car we were listening to radio and then the "song" with "Crazy frog" comes up, you know the one were he do the theme to Beverly Hills Cop? My dad use to watch those movies andright now they are on tv here and everytime, ev-ve-rytime, the commercial is on and the music starts my dad, on his back in our couch, do the beep-beep on the right spot, just like in the song. So when the song came on the radio today he turned the volume up and did the beep-beep on the right spots. I just have to love my dad:)

So I saw the car, I drove the car and I BOUGHT THE CAR!!! OMG I own a car...I own my own car. How grown up isn't that? It's a nice car, kinda big actually...I will ofcourse take a picture.

I also bought a nice pair of shoes today, to party in:) I need them I promise! And Jame, don't even say anything else! ;)

Nothing much more to say tonight...

Oh, oh! Mysteryguy didn't call, as expected nor did he text me. But I don't care.

And one more, hard thing happened today. I saw workguy for the first time since it happened. It was hard. I just saw him fast, in his car but still...

Checking an other car

2008-09-23T09:10:31Z

Me and my parents will travel for...maybe two hours to look at car for me. But DO NOT believe I'm a spoiled brat that get a car for free. I'm buying it with my money. It's not a cool sport car like the other one, but it looks nice and a bit bigger than the other one too. So lets see if I get home with my own car today:)

Mysteryguy was going to call me today he said. So lets see...

Maybe I have to get out of my pj's and get ready. I have some things to do today, visit the bank among others

So make it five times...

2008-09-22T17:16:25Z

I'm almost ashamed. No wait, I AM ashamed. Five times in a cafe in one week! My god! It wasn't planned to go that way, it just happened! We, me and E1, were going to have choir-practice and then the choir was canceled and and we didn't know what to do and I'm week and she was too!

My weekend? We saw that car and it was soso...too much to do with it. So I'm looking for some one else. The rest of the weekend I spend in company with my friend E2 and vary siblings.

Today I did something very grown up, even old-people warning. I had someone to take away corn (?) from my foot. It bothers me when I have high heels, and YES I HAVE to wear it some times, so yes...

Now I'm going to get nerd, and play the Sims 2. I love that game.

Wait, mysteryguy texted me yesterday. He had soooo much to do with his car that he couldn't call me. Yeah, right?

Four times in one week

2008-09-19T16:31:23Z

I have been visiting different cafes four times in five days! My God! And one of the cafes three times. It's patetic...

So what happened this week? Nothing much accept cafe-visting, some shopping and maybe one movie. I bought two new gym pants, one pair of shorts and one long pair. So I'm feeling the work out- appetite! I were going today, but I think I will start at monday instead with the gym, yoga on wednesday and the gym again at friday or saturday, depending on which day me and my friend E1 is going out.

Last night I watched "Mummy 3" with my dad and I have to say yuck! I am a mummy-fan, at least the first movie, because I'm a sucker for adventure-movies. And I mean, hey, who hasn't had a little crush for Brendan Fraser since he first appeared in George of the Jungle? But I have to say, just as work-guy said, that he is a tacky acter. He was ok in the first mummy movie, and in Scrubs ofcourse, but in this one he is just too much. The lines that is supposed to be funny and catchy is just stupid and silly, the action is lame and the animation is so bad! The plot is not even worth mentioning, and believe it or not when they are in a peck of a trouble they get help from not one, not two, buuuut three Yetis. Ph-lease!

I'm going to look at a car this weekend, maybe tomorrow. I fell in love with and me and my dad is going to check it out. Yay!

Nothing more heard from mysteryguy

Long explainations and long nights out

2008-09-15T11:57:26Z

Ok so he called me. Mysteryguy. Later at saturday night, when I was getting ready to leave. And gave me a loong explaination to why he didn't let me know that he couldn't make it. I don't like loong explainations, it often show to a lie. But I don't know. If he want something to happen he need to make it happen. Now it's up to him. I can take a walk or something with him but then he needs to set the date and time....OMG the Japanese and their gameshows...Sorry I'm watching Ellen Degeneres...Anyway I'm up to give him a chance as long as he do something. I wont do a thing. The funny thing is, and maybe I'm stupid for not understanding this, he seems to be interested, calling me and texting me. If I was the one interested in someone I would do anything to meet him. I shouldn't say if I should say when.

I had a great time out! I had much fun and there was a lot of cute guys, just none for me:( But I have more weekends to spend out;)

My friend E is coming home for the weekend! Ahh just like old times, me, E and E1. Actually E is E2 in our counting.

Maybe I should get in the shower and get dressed?

I'm so sick if you guys right now...

2008-09-13T16:22:26Z

Guess what you guys...no walk! I haven't heard from him the whole day and...sorry if the letters jumps I just toke some asthma medication and it gets me all shakie. Anyway where were I...Well long story short, his phone isn't on and he left me hanging all day. ALL freakin DAY! Asshole! I'm sorry but that is bad style! I hate when people waiste my time. And yesterday he sounded so excited about it and sounded like he looked forward to it. I'm so sick if it...

So now I'm going out clubing with my friends instead:) Looking forward to it, really! I will really try not to think about guys OR workguy, who haunted my head all day. And now I started thinking about clubguy...and this guy...god...

Little hobby

2008-09-12T22:06:11Z

When I get bored I do jeweleries. Some from my head and some from a great book I have. And I have no where else to show them sooo...here they are.

This earrings I made yesterday because I needed something to match the bracelet

This ones I made today just because I was bored

Long necklace

My God...

2008-09-12T15:07:19Z

We were on our home back from town and we met an ex-co-worker from down under and I just realized...the world keeps turning even though mine is standing still. It sounds like I think the whole world circle around me, and you who knowa me know that I don't think that. I never feel like the world circle around me. But I hate this feeling. My world is completely still, nothing happen and I'm not going anywhere. Aspecially when I can't let workguy go. I can't get him out of my head! I hate it, I'm so sick and tired of it. It take so much energy, and I hate driving by his appartment, but it's on the way of much so I have too. I hate thinking of him and his son and how wonderful he is with his son. I'm going crazy!

I hope that mysteryguy really take a walk with me tomorrow because I so need something else to think about.

Great dinner...

2008-09-11T23:38:28Z

Great company. I had a great day actually. The early day, and for me that is around 1, me my friend other E, or E1 as we say and her friend visiting from an other city whent up to a lovely place here, as I said yesterday, and sat down in best old lady style and drank coffee and eat bunns. Ok so after freezing our buts off we turned back home. I was hone for maybe two hours and then they invited me for dinner. We made dinner together and had a great time with a lovely dessert.

So me and mysteryguy set a date for a walk on saturday. But I think he will cancle it. Or he have time to do it at least. I hate when a guy has trouble decide what to do and he had all this time. So we will see.

Coffee with a friend

2008-09-10T20:49:35Z

I broke my personal record today, I sat at a cafe from 2 pm to 4,15pm! Me and a friend, an other E had coffee and a great time. Haven't seen her since this summer sometime...or no I lie. I saw her for some hours in Stockholm.

Such a boring day after that. I got massage and that hurted, of course, and my skin is so sore right now. But I know it will help. And then coffee, but after that nothing. Nothing nothing.

I haven't got an answer from mysteryguy. I actually starts to get a bit worried. He is driving a mc from the village he was in and...I don't know. I send a text telling him that if he don't want to see me send me a text telling me that, so I don't have to wait for answer. But still...I start to think about accidents and it scares me...But maybe, and I hope, he just don't answer or has forgotten his phone.

Tomorrow I will follow with me friend other E to a really nice place here, just beautiful nature and old ruins. So I hope for good weather.

Bad mood

2008-09-10T09:22:37Z

Or not really but I don't feel on top. I just read one of my best friend's blogg and she had a pic on her and her boyfriend and I got jealous. I miss having a boyfriend. Now I want one that cares about me, are sweet to me and makes my heart and stomach flip. Just like workguy did...It's harder when I got home. Yes I'm home now, after a great great week in our capital. But now, when I'm home, I think about workguy all the time, and remember how good it was. Even though I don't really want a guy with a kid. But you know...I got really burned.

Talking about guys, mysteryguy didn't call me that day, but we texted back and forward and he called me on friday ngiht, a drunkcall though. But he called me the next night too, sober. And now I don't know. We talked about having coffee this week, but he didn't answer my texts yesterday and I haven't heard from him today either. So I don't know. Talk about getting the cold hand. I just hope he is well. I will give you some reasons to why he haven't answered me yet.

1. He don't want to meet me and just ignore me.
2.He's out of money on his cell-
3.He had too much to do yesterday so he couldn't answer (happend before)
4.His phone is stolen, lost or forgotten in the village he spend the weekend in.

So lets see if it is one of them.

I'm getting a massage today, I can't wait! Even though it really hurts, because it's NOT that gentle spa massage! No sir! It's really deep muscle massage and my skin is usualy sore fore days after. But still, it's so good for me.

Bam bam bam!

2008-09-02T23:05:43Z

I got a text, from mysteryguy and he is going to call me tomorrow...or so he says...

I felt like a true big city girl today with my nice leather-jacket, a nice bag (my sis'), some shopping-bags in my one hand and a cappuchino in my other. Too bad my hair was really bad other wise I would've looked like a real Stockholm-gal. You can't believe how shallow this town is. Every one look their best. No one has a bad hair day, or they do hide it very well. I'm not cut out for this city, I get stressed out by it.

One question, and my dear friend E know the cause of it, where do all mysterious sounds come from? The one without any obvious source. The one you really "look" at but can't see what's causing them. Hmm...

Wow, I wonder if he calls...I know I said I will put guys on ice for a while, and I do. But I never miss an opporunity to get to know someone new. And, you never know, maybe this is the guy I marry: ) No, really, I will talk to him and see were it gets me. I will take it really easy though....really, REALLY easy. But one fact still remain: I got a secret admirer!!!

Uppsala, Stockhom and a secret admirer

2008-09-02T18:53:25Z

Ok lots has happened since last time I updated. I arrived in Uppsala saturday morning, were my dear friend E picked me up on her humble ride:) After spending the day in stockholm with two other friends, eating our stomach squared we had a easy night with movie at her friend. Later, while in bed, almost sound asleep, at least me, my phone rang. Strange, I thought and it was a number I didn't recognize. I answer and I her a party in the background and a guy asking for Emma (and other last name). No I said, I'm Emma (my last name). Oh, he said, Ok I borrowed my friend's phone and only took the first Emma on the list, but here, talk to him So he passed the phone to the right owner, and I asked who it was and apparently he has been working with me. Or not really, I drove truck he drove the big machine, loading the ore to us. And he hasn't been on my shift, until the very last week. Anyway, he has been checking me out, too shy to talk to me. He gave me a lot of examples of when we met and when he saw me but the thing is I don't really know who he is. I have a tiny hint, because I saw a guy one day that smiled at me, and I noticed him because he didn't belong to my shift, and he smiled. So he got brave after a few beers, and called. And the day after I send him text messages and so on and he said he would call but he hasn't. So if he want to make me interested he have to make himself interesting. But still I got a secret admirer! That's kind of rare! Yay!

My shopping so fare: Shoes, two cardigans, one shirt, pearls aaaaaaand...nothing more I think.

Uhg...

2008-08-29T15:50:44Z

Thanks for your sweet words after last night, that was one of those I need to write it of, because I can talk to my mom about it because when I-came-home-so-upset-I-got-a-"I say stuff I have no clue about him but makes him look really bad..."-after-a-while-about-him-thing. And I don't have a dairy so this is what I have to do.

Today is better, although not good but it will come. I done it before and I will do it again. But as I said last night to a sweet sweet friend of mine I'm putting guys on ice for a while. I don't want to look for one, I don't feel the need. Ok I want someone to hold me, and to cuddle up next to, but I'm just so done with it right now. And I also know that it comes when you least expect it.

Sorry I lost track, I'm watching AFV (Americas funniest homevidoes) and I just a really fun thing:)

I went to the gym today, and he wasn't there thank God. But I didn't do well either. Maybe 1.3 miles and nothing more. So bad. Last time I run I did 3 miles so...But at least I went there and that's the importnat. I hasn't been working out for weeks so I need to get a good routine again.

In less then...14 hours I need to get up and make myself ready to go to the airport. Maybe I should start packing...oooor I could make a list of all the things I need. Why pack now when I can do it tonight? And probably forget half of it...

I can't wait to go now. Although I wish I could have someone with me. We actually talked about it before...

Dollar Store has open here now. They actually had more then I thought they have.

Oh sweetheart kids in a clothes commercial...

I don't know, but people say I'm easily distracted. And kinda restless...

Don't know if I told you about my plans this autumn? Ok I try to get a truck-driving job at two places. If that fails I want to go a welding- or mechanic-course and take the truck-card. That is expensive but profitable. I also hope to get a job so I can by a car. I found one I'd like. So yes...that's it.

And oh, I want a baby...I hope it'll pass O.o

You know...

2008-08-28T22:04:32Z

When it feels like all your tears has run out and all that's left is this heavy pounding ache? It's really grounding, sore ache. I hate it. I though I had enough of it this year, I thought my luck was changed I thought I met my guy. Sorry Jae but your glue only hold it together but it doesn't stop the hurting. It feels like I'm going insane. Just like in Rihanna's Disturbia. Yes I'm a Rihanna fan. All my thought revolves around him, things he said pops up in my head all the time, and it's not just things he said about me, us, him. Just things we talked about. Things we did. I'm affraid to go to the gym, because there is a possibility that he is there. And to think about that I in the beginning of the summer was there all the time because I wanted to see him. He actually asked me to go with him, that week when he started to show me he like me. Oh, how I wish I could go back. I guess it was too good to be true. At least to good to be true for me. I'm so glad I got those weeks with him. But my heart is hurting so bad right now. I can't wait to go to Stockholm to get something else to think about. I hope.

I was wrong, the tears had not run out...

Aouch!

2008-08-28T13:40:14Z

They say beauty has a price and they are so right...who ever they are. Well I'm not talking about extreme beauty, just an everyday "beauty" I love to be everyday-nice. I like to put on a nice shirt and put some time in my daily looks. Even though I have my sweatpants-days like everyone else, especially when I work:) Anyway I have a really nice pair of yellow pumps I love, even-though I barely use them. I maybe used them 4 times since I bought them. So I put together an outfit that looked some what alike one I saw on Cameron Diaz in a magazine. I was going to have coffee with my friend A in the town, otherwise I hadn't put down any time in it. We don't have shoes inside here, I know some in America do. Ok, the first hour was fine, because we sat down. But after the coffee we where going to find some jeans for her. You few who know me, knows that I walk kinda fast and not with the smallest steps. Even the workguy asked me to slow down when we walked. And he is at least 20 cm longer then me, hence longer legs. Where were I? Hm....I'm watching tv too so...Anyway now my feet are so sore.

I'm so bored as usual. The highlight today is...reruns of Top Model 3 and mom doing my eyebrows. Not that I can't do them myself, I just feel like being pampered.

Ok now I see that my picture doesn't show, please tell me if you see it.

Right now I can't wait to go away to Stockholm! I feel the shopping-urge is creeping up on me. I want to buy some jeans, from Miss Sixty, it may sound so bitchy but that brand love my ass! I need some nice autumn-shoes, maybe a new pair of sneakers, some new shirts and maybe some bling-bling:) And yes, oh-oh! Pearls! Lots of pearrrrrrl! I do my own jewelleries so I need more pearls. Lets see if I update once more today, maybe I come up with something more silly to say.

My yellow shoes