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Mostly about maths teaching: a rant

Radio 4 is talking in a very interesting way about maths and maths teaching and it's making me think about how I was taught.
Which was badly. What I learnt early on was that maths was scary and hard, that girls in particular were never going to be good at it and that mistakes were something to be ashamed off, because they were badges of inadequacy. Boys, on the other hand, were naturally good at it, and this was a sign of how much better and more important they were. This gendering has stayed with me lifelong -- as an undergraduate, I was regularly patronised and shamed by male friends because I was 'only' studying an arts subject which they assumed was easy. (I should, in retrospect, have handed them a chunk of Old Irish and said 'Fine, it's easy: so translate this.') This putting down and patronising of me because I'm neither a mathematician nor a scientist has continued throughout my adult life. About 4 years ago a man told me he'd decided he did respect me after all, because a 3rd party had convinced him that history is a science (sort of) after all.
I was silenced. I could not think of a single thing to say that wasn't, essentially, 'wtf?'
It's okay, even now, to put women down in public because they aren't brilliant with numbers. Girls see this happen to their mothers, teachers, friends all the time.
I had one year of good maths teaching in my entire school career and that year I got the top marks of any student in that year. I speak 3 languages (and have some ability in 2 others) and I can work with sources in a further 6. We grow up and are educated in an environment that is toxic for women. Our culture continues to handicap, discourage and bully women and girls when it comes to maths and science education.
This R4 programme suggests there are people out there who are working hard to redress this. That's great. I'd love to go and learn maths alongside this cohort of junior-age children, because it sounds like they are being taught to learn by positive reinforcement, not by the use of shame, fear and gendered expectations.
So, if you find yourself on the edge of putting someone down about their mathematical ability, especially if that person is someone who was disadvantaged by gender, race or ableism at school, I have a suggestion for you: don't. Bite your tongue. And then ask yourself what assumptions you've internalised about others.

Skirt of the day: short blue bird print.

Nine Worlds Schedule

The next month is going to be hugely busy, with 4 cons and a trip to France. It's going to be fun, too, or so I hope. And it starts tomorrow with Nine Worlds at Heathrow.

Here's my schedule: Friday 15.15 - 16.30
Interrogating the Old Shows

A cultural critique of scifi shows pre 2000, examining where episodes or, potentially, whole shows of old favourites (Blakes 7, Old Battlestar, among others), might have become "unwatchable" to a new generation of fans due to their approach to characters' gender, ethnicity or sexual orientation.

Friday 17.00-18.15
Nine Fanwork Recs

Nine people tell us about their favourite fanwork

Nine speakers, nine favourite fanworks! A fast-paced TED-style set of seven-minute presentations, in which nine people talk about their favourite fanwork -- why they love it, why they recommend it, what makes it stand out from other works by the same creator, whether it works without knowledge of canon ... As with last year's 'Nine Myths About Fanfic', participants will be timed by a samba-dancing green robot. We're sorry.

Saturday 15.15-16.30

Slash & feminism

Is slash inherently misogynist, feminist or something else?

Male characters in canon are often more rounded, three-dimensional and credible than female characters. When we write M/M slash, are we reinforcing popular culture's bias towards male characters, or are we reclaiming them? The panel examine arguments for and against slash as a feminist activity, and talk about gender-bending, femslash and the marginalisation of female characters.

Saturday 17.00-18.15

Beta-reading and teaching writing in fandom

How to be a better beta

Beta-reading is an art as well as a skill, and betas often go well beyond editing text. They can also be cheerleaders, idea-generators, writing teachers, and even co-authors. The panel discuss effective beta-reading and feedback techniques, and follow up with an interactive workshop on a piece of fanfiction.

My Worldcon schedule

I have my final schedule for Worldcon and I'm very happy with it. I have a set of really interesting panels, with some of my favourite people. I have a reading (argh, what to read?)! I have a Literary Beer! This is going to be so much fun.

Here are the details.

Literary Beer
Thursday 17:00 - 18:00, The Bar (ExCeL)

Kari Sperring

The Deeper the Roots, the Stronger the Tree
Friday 10:00 - 11:00, Capital Suite 9 (ExCeL)

The roots of modern science fiction and fantasy are often associated with authors such as J.R.R. Tolkien, T.H. White, H.G. Wells, and Mary Shelley. But plenty of 19th- and early 20th-century authors with minimal or no fantastical or sfnal content have inspired and continue to inspire modern genre writing, including but not limited to Alexandre Dumas, Arthur Conan Doyle, Jane Austen, and Georgette Heyer. What is the on-going appeal of such authors, their styles, and their worlds? What is it about them that lends itself to genrefication?
Abigail Sutherland (M), Zen Cho, Mary Robinette Kowal, Kari Sperring, Delia Sherman

"Your 'realistic' fantasy is a washed out colourless emptiness compared to the Rabelaisian reality." Discuss.
Saturday 13:30 - 15:00, Capital Suite 6 (ExCeL)

'Realism' has become a buzzword for contemporary genre fantasy, but most medievalesque world-building still barely scratches the surface of the reality. One in three marriages in 14th-century Cairo ended in divorce; English towns were brimming with migrants, including people of colour; women fought on the battlefields of the Crusades; and cities across the world were awash with lurid pageantry that would make modern audiences blush. The panel will discuss aspects of medieval and early-modern life that were more complex than our fiction imagines, and ways of making our invented worlds as diverse and exciting as our history.
Kate Elliott (M), Nic Clarke, Edward James, Kari Sperring, Jenny Blackford

Reading: Kari Sperring
Saturday 16:00 - 16:30, London Suite 1 (ExCeL)

Seeing the Future, Knowing the Past
Sunday 12:00 - 13:30, Capital Suite 7+12 (ExCeL)

Fantasy's use of prophecy - knowable futures - often parallels the way it treats the past, as something both knowable and stable: details of history known from a thousand years back, kingly bloodlines in direct descent for several hundreds of years, etc. In reality, George I of England was 58th in line for the throne and there is a Jacobean claimant still out there somewhere. No one really knows where France originated. History is messy and mutable. Why is fantasy so keen on the known?
William B. Hafford (M), Sarah Ash, Liz Bourke, Karen Miller, Kari Sperring

There Are No New Stories, But...
Sunday 19:00 - 20:00, Capital Suite 16 (ExCeL)

What are some of the characters and narratives we've seen enough of? Is it time for the assassin with the heart of gold to take a break? Should the farmer keep farming and stop exchanging his rake for a broadsword? Could the squabbling will-they-won't-they couple just get a room already? More generally, why are tropes used, and what are their structural, stylistic and political implications?

Kari Sperring (M), John Hornor Jacobs, Laura Lam, Pierre Pevel, Jon Wallace

Robin Hobb: When Assassins Didn't Need to Be Hooded
Monday 13:30 - 15:00, Capital Suite 8 (ExCeL)

Robin Hobb has influenced a generation of epic fantasists with her unique voice, and a willingness to avoid easy solutions even if that sometimes means letting bad things happen to good characters. While Hobb's work is dark at times, her famous assassin, FitzChivalry, is almost a kitten compared to the hooded cold blooded killers today's audience seems to crave. Has the fantasy market fundamentally changed in tone and content, or just diversified? How did the field get from there to here? And, finally, where is it headed?

Tim Kershaw (M), Kate Elliott, Robin Hobb, Patrick Rothfuss, Kari Sperring

Older Women Rock

Goth marquise
Older Women really do rock. I love this!


Collateral damage

Goth marquise
First of all, I'd like to thank everyone who has commented, and is still commenting, on my piece yesterday about sfnal futures and women. I'm reading. I'm nodding and thinking. I'm finding it hard to reply, but I am listening.

A number of people have asked what has been going on with me, that I wrote this (and my long twitter rant, which you can find storified here:
It's this. Lately, I've been feeling like all I am is collateral damage. I seem to have been fighting to be allowed to exist, to be a person and not just a thing, almost my entire life. It's exhausting and draining and endless and I never seem to make any lasting gains. Indeed, as I age, the amount of space I'm permitted to occupy gets smaller and smaller and my sense of existence is shrinking.

And it's not just me. On all sides I see other people facing the same thing. I see brilliant women writers like dancinghorse (Judith Tarr) and scifiwritir (Carole McDonnell) dismissed from the narrative of fantasy and sf because they're older, or because their books have fallen out of print, or some variation and combination of those, because genre history continues to belong to men. I see the same thing happening to QUILTBAG writers and writers of colour and writers with disabilities. On all sides there are wonderful initiatives like the Geekfest Nine Worlds, anthologies and projects promoting the work of writers who are not white westerners, anthologies of queer fiction, blog series on ableism and othering in sf. I love all of this. It's a step forward.

But what I'm also seeing is that in almost all of these, there's a group that's consistently left behind. I'm seeing collateral damage.
I'm seeing older women -- whether women of colour or white women, lesbian, bi or straight, trans or cis forgotten, or only considered relevant once they're dead or long out of print and the limelight (if they ever had any share of the latter to begin with). I'm seeing women writers who debut later -- and women writers, along with writers of colour and writers with disabilities often face additional challenges which mean that they are more likely to debut later -- being written off with no or few reviews, dismissed unread as predictable.
It's the pattern we seem unable to see when we fight for change. It's the pattern we just reproduce without thinking -- and then excuse, usually on the grounds that we -- that insidious, apparently collective sff 'we' which masquerades as all of us but all too often means only those with more privilege -- that we need to attract more new blood, more 'young fans'.
I have never once heard or seen anyone suggest that 'young fans' won't want to see established older male writers. Every single convention, including 9 Worlds, has its roster of established male pros over 40. Whenever I hear this line about attracting the young, my heart sinks. Not because I don't want to see new people in fandom -- of course I do.
Because the people who are asked to stand aside, the people whose work is deemed of little or no interest, are almost entirely older women. The older men go sailing merrily on.
Now, older men of colour are also victims in this: I would never deny that. It infuriates me that our genre is still talking about Robert E Howard but never mentions Charles Saunders, who wrote and is still writing some of the best swords-and-sorcery out there.

What it comes to is this: most women who are now over about 40 have been told their whole lives to be good, to keep their heads down, to keep on working away quietly and to wait their turn. And now, within sff, at the point when their male contemporaries are celebrated, these same women are being told, No, it's too late for you, you don't matter enough; that space is needed. Get out of the way.

We're collateral damage. If we debut later, we may well find ourselves declared over, irrelevant, not worth reading even before the print is dry on our 1st book. If we've been in the industry for years, we find ourselves forgotten or dismissed and our innovations and talents and insights attributed to others (all too often male others).
I've been making a rough list of writers who were big names in the 80s, male and female, and looking at where they are now. The biggest women writers of that period, in my memory, anyway, were Barbara Hambly, R A McAvoy, C J Cherryh, Katherine Kurtz, Judith Tarr, Julian May, Mary Gentle, Lois MacMaster Bujold, Tanith Lee, and Connie Willis.
Only three of those women are still being published regularly by major publishers (and one of those -- Cherryh -- is largely ignored). Most of the others are still writing, but in other genres, for small presses, or via kickstarter.
The big name men, though. Guy Gavriel Kay, David Brin, William Gibson, Bruce Sterling, Greg Bear, Larry Niven, Michael Swanwick, George R R Martin, Samuel R Delany, Charles de Lint....
They're pretty much all still there. They're famous, their books get inches of review space, they're talked about and promoted and cited as influences.
Now, I'm not saying there aren't male writers who have fallen out of contract or seem to be being unjustly neglected. Gary Kilworth springs to mind, along with Graham Dunstan Martin (whose work I love) and the great, great Walter Jon Williams, who does not get the recognition he deserves.
On every side, I see people telling most of those women I listed to step aside. (The exceptions are Bujold and Willis.) I see their books go unreviewed. I see their influence marginalised. Those are some wonderful, wonderful writers, writers you should be reading. There are more established women writers than LeGuin (great though she is). They deserve to be celebrated, too. They deserve their place in genre. So does Charles Saunders.
They deserve better than to be pushed aside while their male peers sail merrily on.

Women over 40, whatever our colour, our sexuality, our ability should not just be Collateral damage.

I call foul.

Edited to add: this isn't about expecting younger women to step aside, either. It suits our patriarchal culture to try and play the dis-privileged off against each other and to pretend that there's only enough space for a few. This isn't about women gaining at the expense of other women. This is about a system that builds in barriers for everyone who doesn't conform to that straight, white, able-bodied, male norm.
When I was 8, I wanted more than anything to be a member of the crew of the starship Enterprise. I wanted so much to share in their adventures, going to new worlds, meeting aliens, having adventures. And that future I watched on tv every week was filled with women. I was 8: I didn't really think about the coding of their costumes or the roles they were sometimes asked to play. I noticed that they were women who spoke and acted and were listened to. They were not Doctor Who girls, running and screaming and waiting for the doctor to tell them what to do. They were planetary councillors, doctors, scientists, ambassadors. They fought, they talked back. Sometimes they rescued people or took key roles in foiling plots. They had their own guns. And, unlike the active girls in books I read at that age, they didn't have to behave or dress like boys to do this. They got to have long hair and dresses. They got to be feminine.
I was a feminine girl. I'm a feminine woman. I was never a tomboy. But in my childhood books, nearly all the active girls, the approved-of girls were. Girls like me were weak, wet, useless. Until Star Trek. I wanted that future, I wanted those lives, because those lives were exciting and adventurous and fun. It was tedious that sometimes these women seemed to have to kiss Captain Kirk in order to get on with what they were doing, but I reckoned I could duck that bit. I wanted most of all to be Lieutenant Uhura, especially in season 1. On the show, she got left behind more than I liked, but in my games she had adventures too, while Kirk was busy, and everyone was happy. The Star Trek future was big and wide and there was plenty of space for girls like me.
I was a bookish child, and having discovered sf on tv, I went looking for it in the library. The books I found -- Andre Norton, Asimov, Clarke, Heinlein and so on -- were fun, but there wasn't an awful lot of space for me. That was... It felt odd, because Star Trek had told me there was room for adventurous women in the future. But I kept reading, and, at around 15, I found Samuel R Delany's Babel 17. I had wanted to be Uhura, because she got to help Kirk and Spock in their adventures. I *really* wanted to be Rydra Wong. The book was all about her: every character, every situation, every concept revolved around her and her talents and skills and actions. Rydra Wong saved the world because she was who she was. She wasn't in the right place at the right time, she wasn't an assistant or a prop to be rescued. She didn't take time to stop and nurture her crew or sympathise with her man. She was the centre of her own story. Until I met her, I hadn't realised how unusual that was. Women and girls in the books I read were forever interrupted by their gender. They had to be good and do their chores, they had to stop what they were doing to help others, they had to put food on the table and teach children and clean up even in the middle of their adventures. They were never just heroes. They always had to take time out to live up to their social, female role. The only alternative was to behave like a man and expect another woman to look after you, too. The life of a female hero was full of giving up, being good, surrendering, giving way, giving in. Even in their own stories, their lives were already compartmentalised and full of duties that involved always putting others' interests and needs ahead of their own.
Nobody in Narnia expected Peter to take time to check that everyone was fed. When Susan did -- and it was a sensible thing to do -- she was told off for fussing. Boys' books were full of exploration and adventure. Girls' books were all about looking after others, helping and learning your place, unless you were a tomboy,
I never liked those tomboy girls. I thought they were mean and selfish and that, if I met them, they'd probably turn out to be bullies, too. They usually bullied the non-tomboy girls they shared books with.
Uhura was different. So was Rydra. So, when I met them, were Anne McCaffrey's female heroes. Lessa had her own dragon and went her own way -- and was proved right, over and over. Sara saved her love interest, saved herself, and solved an intergalactic mystery, all while dealing with being marooned on an alien planet. Helva was her own space ship, saving lives and solving problems over and over. They were all at the very centre of their own lives and no-one expected them to step aside.
I wanted that future so much and science fiction told me I would have it.

Science fiction lied. As I got older, not only did I see the insidious cracks in the futures I loved (the clothes, the endless kissing of Kirk, the problematic nature of some of McCaffrey's ideas) I also saw how rare these women were. For every Rydra, there were 40 interchangeable space babes, screaming, being patronised, being handed out as prizes. Female space captains, once marooned, needed to have photogenic lesbian sex with their colleagues for the enjoyment of the male gaze -- women need sex and they need it with someone else, they cannot be fulfilled alone. Their male counterparts were above such needs. (Thank you, John Varley.) Female scientists were plains and marginalised and developed inappropriate crushes which made them a hazard to themselves and others (thank you, Asimov). Women's main fulfilment having babies, even if they also enjoyed astrophysics on the side (thank you, Heinlein). Many books did away with women completely, except perhaps as a two-line secretary or left-behind wife.
And women were nearly always young -- men could be any age -- and nearly always pretty. Star Trek had offered me women of varied ages in various roles. Star Wars existed in a galaxy that seemingly held only one woman who could talk or act -- and she was captured and made to wear a leather bikini. No-one made Han Solo dress in a g-string while captive. Society told me, as I went on into my 20s and 30s, that things were better now, that women had equal rights. But the futures I was shown by the genre I loved seemed narrower and narrower. Book after book had no space for me, except as a handmaid, a nursemaid, a servant, a person who remained a perpetual walk-on in their own life. In Dune the Bene Gesserit manipulated worlds, changed lives, and came in all ages and sizes and colours. But all that energy was focused on achieving the perfect male saviour, and once he existed, the women in that world -- in the sequels -- went back to being love-interests, mothers or bad girls who needed controlling. Babylon 5 offered a future rich in philosophies and cultures, with fully-rounded alien characters, and men of all ages and sizes and colours and degrees of attractiveness. But for any woman over about 30, any woman of colour, any plain woman, any woman who was not super-model-thin, any woman who didn't want a life that revolved around a man, that future offered only erasure. The inconvenient women, the women who wanted to be at the centre of their own lives had been written out of existence. There's no room in the future for Rydra Wong. The Battlestar Galactica reboot looked better, was better in some ways. Women could hold power without also being 25 and pretty, drink, swear, sleep around, fly fighter ships, be negative and cruel and manipulative and complicated -- just like the men. But they had to be white, pretty much, they had to fall in love with men (the one lesbian turned out to be Evil). They might have special destinies, but they had to take time-out to endure rape, to find True Love. They couldn't have a story that did not involve them caring for a man.
No woman could have a share in the future unless she placed a man at the centre of her life. No woman could have a future for herself. Over and over, that was what the books, the shows, the films told me. The future is shiny and exciting and male. There is no space for me, except as an adjunct, a prop, a decoration. There is no life4 for me except as someone male's servant. At some point in the 90s, I began, slowly but surely, to drift away from science fiction. I'd been promised a future full of agency. Instead, I'd been told to keep my place, be pretty and focus on men. Oh, there are still books out there that delight me, new Rydra Wongs, but they are few and far between and they are getting rarer. For every Torin Kerr (from Tanya Huff's fine Valor series)< there are 20 Joe P Sciencedudes. Rydra is a fully-rounded person with a life outside her book and her companions. She's not a 'kickass heroine', battling vampires or space slugs to hide the pain of abuse, and only really finding fulfilment when she meets the right man. She's not a photogenic star captain written by a man, having tomboy adventures in a skin-tight suit. She's herself.
And now I live in the future. On all sides, I see women beleaguered: storms over sexism in sfwa, harassment at cons, book shops that privilege the work of men, reviews skewed towards male writers, images that tell me that I must be young, thin, white, pretty, or else I must just not exist at all, just like in Babylon 5. I see gifted women writers ignored, dropped by publishers, trolled and derided. And over and over what I see praised and promoted in my genre are stories about men, futures for men, lives that revolve around men. I see a future that's a vacuum for women.
I don't like it. I don't want to be erased. I want Rydra Wong and Torin Kerr and Uhura with her own command. I want to be allowed to breathe.


Forgotten writers?

So, The Guardian has an interesting article today about forgotten writers. Literary Hero to Zero

Being me, I am of course certain that I will be forgotten myself (without having ever reached the heights of minor recognition, let alone 'hero') apart perhaps for some of my academic pieces. And that's fine with me, too. Also being me, I've read at least 3 of the 'forgotten' writers mentioned here (Morgan, Dreiser, Wilson) and heard of all the others apart from Mary Mann. But I'm not typical, I suspect (I have a widely -read mother and I have been known to read historical literary criticism for fun and then tracked down the books.)
The article focuses on 'literary' writers. There are names it doesn't mention -- Rosamund Lehman, John Fowles, Elizabeth Taylor, Elizabeth Bowen -- which I hope means people are still assumed to be reading them. There are, of course, far more 'forgotten' genre writers who were huge in their time -- Weyman, Sabatini, even Michael Innes, who was A N Wilson under a pseudonym.
As the article shows in the case of Virigina Woolf, writers can go out of fashion and be rediscovered, or indeed rescued from obscurity entirely. Dumas has never stopped being read or being in print but he has only begun to be accepted by the literary establishment as more than just a 'popular' writer in the last quarter century or so. On the flip side, Dickens was canonised almost at once, despite his popularity, and remains so despite the problems of misogyny, classism and sentimentality in is work. (I do not like Dickens. If I'm going to read social realism of that period, I'll take Balzac and Dostoyevsky.)
Who are your favourite forgotten writers? And who do you predict may be the writers canonised into fame by later generations? I'd like to see a rise in the recognition of Anne Bronte over her sisters, of Emily Eden, Rosamund Lehman and Rumer Godden. And, moving closer to now, Patricia Geary, Pat Murphy, Tanith Lee (who really belongs up there with Angela Carter already), Justina Robson, Judith Tarr and Zenna Henderson.

Skirt of the day: embroidered jeans.


New Telzey photos

Bouncy kitten continues to flourish and to work on running the household. She has taken up waking us at around 6 a.m. fo r her first breakfast by purring very loudly and washing our faces. She adores Horus and follows him everywhere when he's in, which, being Horus, he finds somewhat confusing (though he likes playing chase and hide-and-seek with her). Ish is still dubious: he's possessive and does not appreciate pushy kittens trying to sit on laps he owns. But he lets her curl up with him on the bed, and even lets her bat his tails sometimes.

The eye is healing, but I still can't type much.

Photos are under the cut.Collapse )


New kitten picture and eye update

She's now 15 weeks old and getting quite big. The boycats are getting used to her: she's succeeded in sleeping curled up with them on the bed and in getting Ish to let her share my lap. These photos were taken by the splendid Man In Black, who is a much better photographer than me.
My eye is healing: vision is still not great, but now this is down to having the wrong lenses in the glasses, not to anything in the eye.


More from the little princess

Princess Nest
Greetings, internet subjects.
I have now inspected all of my new domain and find it to be mainly acceptable. There are lots of interesting places to investigate, soft things to sit on, vertical surfaces to sharpen my claws on and some amusing things to bat and sniff. There are, however, still two doors which the minions will not open for me, which is not at all good. One is called 'the box room', which means it must be for me, because boxes are the hereditary right of all cats. The other is called 'the airing cupboard'. It smells nice and warm. Clearly, I should be allowed to sleep in it.
The new cat subjects are beginning to learn their place. The big spotty one -- the minions call him 'Horus' -- has stopped running away and now accepts my greetings politely. He lets me bat his tail sometimes, too, though he still has not learnt to wash my face when I tell him. The beige one -- he's called 'Ish', which is a silly name -- continues to use improper language in my presence, but I have shown him that I am not impressed and I still go up to him and expect play. Last night he was asleep on the big comfy minion bed and I sneaked up and went to sleep next to him. Hah! That will show him. I like the minion bed. It is very warm and there is room for three cats at once, although the minions seem to be a bit squashed. I don't know why they insist on sleeping on it: I would let them sleep on my bed, because I am a kind and generous princess. Male minion is very good at playing, especially with string and feathers on the end of a stick. It's very amusing watching him wave them around. I pat them and chase after them to make him happy. And I chewed his fingers, too, because I want him to know that I am down with my people and not at all stuck up. The female minion isn't as good at playing -- she waves the feather all wrong -- but she has a nice lap that I like to sit on. The boycats like to sit on her, too, but I am there first. Hah! I am princess! Today I went for a ride in my carriage, to see some more human minions at a place called the vet. It looked very interesting and I told female minion to let me out of the carrier to explore, but she refused to obey me. I will punish her later. There was a lot of fuss at the vet and everyone said how beautiful I am and how wonderful. This is only Right and Proper and I shall expect more of the same if we go there again.

This is Kari: little blue girl is doing extremely well, and spent last night cuddled up on the bed with us and the boys without any hissing or problems (though she did wake up for play at 6 a.m.). We seem to have decided on Telzey as her everyday name, as she's brave, confident, very smart and dauntless. Her new favourite toys are a furry spider and a toy mouse, both of which are on long pieces of elastic and hung from the sitting room door. She spent nearly an hour this morning catching and killing both of them repeatedly. Right now, she's having a nap downstairs in her igloo. having chased around all morning (and eaten well).

Skirt of the day: blue wedgewood.

New photo under the cutCollapse )

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