Kimya Dawson (![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} kimya_dawson_) wrote,@ 2008-03-29 19:36:00 |
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short story long
Lately we have been finding hotels/motels near the venues. We get to the show place. And I either take a walk to a park or go get food with Panda while the boys unload the van and sound check. Then during their sets I can take her to the hotel to hang out until it is time for me to play. We figured out that this works nicely on days when she is a little tired or the show is crowded or the requirement of a safe baby friendly backstage isn't entirely met.
Last night she and I tried to go to the playground but it was too dark when we got there so we went to the hotel and cuddled. We got back to the venue just as Paul was finishing up and I took Panda backstage so I could make my setlist and make sure she had had enough milk. The local opener who had played before Angelo and Paul was backstage with two girls all having some beers. I figured they were friends of his and sat on the couch. But he left and the girls stayed. They didn't say one word to me. One of them took a camera out and was trying to sneak pictures of me and Panda.
I asked them who they were and why were they backstage. They told me their names and said the other guy invited them back there. (Note: If someone invites you to hang out with them backstage and they leave...you leave too...UNLESS you ask the other people there if they don't mind if you hang out)
So I told them calmly that it made me uncomfortable that they were IN MY PRIVATE SPACE trying to take pictures OF MY BABY, WITHOUT ASKING. and i asked them if they understood why that was weird. One of the girls just freaked out. She was yelling at me hat she is a huge fan and that I must not care about my fans, because I made her upset by telling her she was being disrespectful. And I just repeated (louder) that if you like and care about someone you need to show them respect. All I initially did was tell them they should have introduced themselves and asked me BEFORE they tried to take pictures (while I was whipping out my boobs). Then I probably would have let them take a picture BEFORE I asked them to give us some space.
She burst into tears and kept just screaming at me that I didn't care about her and that I didn't care about my fans. And telling me that she was mad at me and she wasn't going to watch the show. When all I was doing was doing all I could to be able to create a safe environment for my family so that I can go out and tour and play shows and meet people. I let people take pictures all the time, WHEN THEY ASK, unless I am running from one place to the next or in the middle of something.
We, as humans, need to be mutually decent to each other, and recognize that all people are still real live thinking feeling people regardless of how you know of them, what they do, or the connection you have to them through what they do. Just because you like me and see our pictures on the internet doesn't mean you can totally dehumanize me and my child, and expect me to not have an emotional and protective response.
And so I yelled back "FINE! GET OUT OF HERE! YOU ARE BEING CRAZY!" And by that point the sound guy had come to see what was going on and she was screaming at him that I had upset her. And I told him what happened and he told her that it was clear that she was in MY space and SHE upset ME and he walked them out.
The whole time her friend (the one with camera) was gesturing that she was sorry and she got was I was getting at but her buddy just couldn't even hear what I was saying.
Maybe she was drunk. I don't know.
I hope she and her friend sit down and talk about it at some point. And I do hope she is okay. Maybe she had some serious shit going on and my music helps and she wanted to talk to me but she was awkward and didn't know how. I just wish that, when I asked them who they were, we could have had a civil exchange. Instead the whole interaction was just shitty and unproductive.
I hate it when someone pushes me to the point that I freak out and get mad like that, especially around my baby. I rarely get THAT mad. It sucks when it happens. I can't stop thinking about it.
Besides this incident the tour has been amazing. I could write something good about every show, because for the most part everyone (audiences, promoters, staffs, volunteers, etc.) has been REALLY REALLY nice and fun and good and understanding. The shows have been ending around 11 so I have been sneaking off a lot to get Panda to sleep instead of hanging out all night hugging everyone. It is different for me. It's a trade off, but I love that little girl more than anything. Most people see that and let me go. Some have a harder time than others, and I feel bad too, but they let me go.
So yeah, heads up. I love you all (I hate the word "fan" by the way), but if I say I need space with Panda please just give me that and understand that soon all this Juno hubbub will die down and the shows will get smaller and it will be easier to hang out and meet everyone again, just how I like it. I am very accessible, but this tour is crazy and we need chill time.
You'll meet me someday.
And when you do, please don't scream in my face.
Please? Thanks.
We're all friends here.
Love Kimya
P.S. In case you didn't notice there was in early show added on April 4th at Maxwell's in Hoboken, NJ. It will be just me and Matty Pop Chart. Be careful on your way there. I hear the streets in New Jersey are extra slippery when wet, and I would hate for any of you to go down in a blaze of glory on the way to my show. Get there safe and I'll be there for you...these five words I swear to you.
Lately we have been finding hotels/motels near the venues. We get to the show place. And I either take a walk to a park or go get food with Panda while the boys unload the van and sound check. Then during their sets I can take her to the hotel to hang out until it is time for me to play. We figured out that this works nicely on days when she is a little tired or the show is crowded or the requirement of a safe baby friendly backstage isn't entirely met.
Last night she and I tried to go to the playground but it was too dark when we got there so we went to the hotel and cuddled. We got back to the venue just as Paul was finishing up and I took Panda backstage so I could make my setlist and make sure she had had enough milk. The local opener who had played before Angelo and Paul was backstage with two girls all having some beers. I figured they were friends of his and sat on the couch. But he left and the girls stayed. They didn't say one word to me. One of them took a camera out and was trying to sneak pictures of me and Panda.
I asked them who they were and why were they backstage. They told me their names and said the other guy invited them back there. (Note: If someone invites you to hang out with them backstage and they leave...you leave too...UNLESS you ask the other people there if they don't mind if you hang out)
So I told them calmly that it made me uncomfortable that they were IN MY PRIVATE SPACE trying to take pictures OF MY BABY, WITHOUT ASKING. and i asked them if they understood why that was weird. One of the girls just freaked out. She was yelling at me hat she is a huge fan and that I must not care about my fans, because I made her upset by telling her she was being disrespectful. And I just repeated (louder) that if you like and care about someone you need to show them respect. All I initially did was tell them they should have introduced themselves and asked me BEFORE they tried to take pictures (while I was whipping out my boobs). Then I probably would have let them take a picture BEFORE I asked them to give us some space.
She burst into tears and kept just screaming at me that I didn't care about her and that I didn't care about my fans. And telling me that she was mad at me and she wasn't going to watch the show. When all I was doing was doing all I could to be able to create a safe environment for my family so that I can go out and tour and play shows and meet people. I let people take pictures all the time, WHEN THEY ASK, unless I am running from one place to the next or in the middle of something.
We, as humans, need to be mutually decent to each other, and recognize that all people are still real live thinking feeling people regardless of how you know of them, what they do, or the connection you have to them through what they do. Just because you like me and see our pictures on the internet doesn't mean you can totally dehumanize me and my child, and expect me to not have an emotional and protective response.
And so I yelled back "FINE! GET OUT OF HERE! YOU ARE BEING CRAZY!" And by that point the sound guy had come to see what was going on and she was screaming at him that I had upset her. And I told him what happened and he told her that it was clear that she was in MY space and SHE upset ME and he walked them out.
The whole time her friend (the one with camera) was gesturing that she was sorry and she got was I was getting at but her buddy just couldn't even hear what I was saying.
Maybe she was drunk. I don't know.
I hope she and her friend sit down and talk about it at some point. And I do hope she is okay. Maybe she had some serious shit going on and my music helps and she wanted to talk to me but she was awkward and didn't know how. I just wish that, when I asked them who they were, we could have had a civil exchange. Instead the whole interaction was just shitty and unproductive.
I hate it when someone pushes me to the point that I freak out and get mad like that, especially around my baby. I rarely get THAT mad. It sucks when it happens. I can't stop thinking about it.
Besides this incident the tour has been amazing. I could write something good about every show, because for the most part everyone (audiences, promoters, staffs, volunteers, etc.) has been REALLY REALLY nice and fun and good and understanding. The shows have been ending around 11 so I have been sneaking off a lot to get Panda to sleep instead of hanging out all night hugging everyone. It is different for me. It's a trade off, but I love that little girl more than anything. Most people see that and let me go. Some have a harder time than others, and I feel bad too, but they let me go.
So yeah, heads up. I love you all (I hate the word "fan" by the way), but if I say I need space with Panda please just give me that and understand that soon all this Juno hubbub will die down and the shows will get smaller and it will be easier to hang out and meet everyone again, just how I like it. I am very accessible, but this tour is crazy and we need chill time.
You'll meet me someday.
And when you do, please don't scream in my face.
Please? Thanks.
We're all friends here.
Love Kimya
P.S. In case you didn't notice there was in early show added on April 4th at Maxwell's in Hoboken, NJ. It will be just me and Matty Pop Chart. Be careful on your way there. I hear the streets in New Jersey are extra slippery when wet, and I would hate for any of you to go down in a blaze of glory on the way to my show. Get there safe and I'll be there for you...these five words I swear to you.
