6 years ago right now i was in a coma
every year i plan my big show for the 26th, and i get really excited about how fun it is going to be and then like clockwork- right about now -i get overwhelmed with complete and total grief and anguish. i don't know how to explain it. once a year i fall back into the deepest hole i have ever been in and remember what it was like. and remember what it was like to just about to die. and remember what it was like having to learn how to live all over again. once a year i fall back into that darkest place so i never ever forget how lucky i am to be alive. and so i never ever ever take for granted all of the amazing things i have been able to see and do since i got better. and so i remember how far i have come and how unbelievably hard it was to get better. and so i don't ever forget how alone i felt in my misery and how now i am surrounded by beautiful amazing friends who make me feel okay. thanks for being my friends. thanks for being a part of my reason for loving being alive.

there was something i wanted to show you all but i can't find it. i was digging through the box of stuff i got out of storage in port townsend. the stuff that had been in storage for 5 1/2 years. instead of what i was looking for, i found this:



that's me and my friend scotty. about a year and a half ago scotty died in a boat accident in lake washington. the day i heard he died i wrote the song "it's been raining".

tell someone you love them, okay? please.

just in case. you never know.