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Faith and religion have always been tough issues to cover. Looking back, I think my sense of faith has definitely evolved. I remember in secondary school, and even in the earlier parts of j1, when I found it easy to keep God in my conversations. It was an easy task, but it was also because I was a bit too naive. Life then, excluding my family, consisted mostly of people who had a similar outlook. Although their faith wavered and their passion for God wasn't at a constant high, the truth that Jesus died for our sins could not be, and was not challenged. As I met different people, people with their own moral yardsticks, I began to realise that I had been a little blind. No, I am not about renounce my faith, just in case alarm bells have started going off in your head. I was blinded, not by the fundamental beliefs Christianity upholds, but by my inability to reconcile the secular world with Christianity. Perhaps it was foolish, but my foolishness came simply from inexperience, and I'm glad that growth is a constant process I am not excluded from.
Christianity came about as a choice for me at first because it was what my friends strongly encouraged, and its values of goodness and sacrificial love seemed to be ideal for a religion, should anyone have chosen to adhere to one. The idea of praying to porcelain idols or to gods who threatened to cut out your tongue should you say anything wrong didn't appeal to me, as they did to my mother. I didn't understand why the only things people seemed to pray about were for things like wealth, health, and smooth marriages. Good things, undoubtedly, but surely life cannot be confined to such tangibles, I questioned. The rituals of using incense and offering fruit to gods so that they could 'consume' them baffled me, and the multiple examples of foolish people frantically praying to these gods in channel 8 dramas did not help. To me, the various types of Buddhism and Taoism and the fact that these two religions could 'cross over' and 'overlap' simply seemed as though people were confused, and were desperately grasping on to whatever offered them hope. I remember thinking about this all through childhood, as I attended weekly chapels and received countless 'God bless yous!' from friends and Christian teachers. Perhaps a factor that pushed me away from these religions and towards Christianity was that I didn't want to end up like my parents, as their behaviours did nothing to convince me that I should adhere to a faith similar to theirs, when it evidently did nothing for their characters. Yes, angst came very early for me.
The nicest of people I knew were Christians, and their lives seemed to be so full of joy and kindness - they seemed to have hit some kind of bulls' eye which enabled them to see life in a better light than the rest of us. In time, I found God for myself. Despite the many questions, some of which remain unanswered, and the different modes of worship people adopted which at times became a problematic area for me to reconcile with, I came to the conclusion that yes, He does exist, and yes, He's the One. I came to this only after many years of debating with myself, and I guess the ultimate propellor was the personal experiences I've had with my God. The countless events that I cannot place as a result of coincidence, but divine intervention, the people who've come into my life at the most opportune moments, and finally, the unexplainable tugging of my heart, were what brought me to the cross. Some define it as intuition; a self-constructed sense of what is right and wrong. Others proclaim it as God's voice. Whatever it is, it hasn't failed me, and I'm glad that I made the decision to become a Christian, to live my life His way.
I might seem to have digressed into a personal recount on my walk to becoming a Christian, but all that was to say something about choice. I know people have differing viewpoints. People believe in all sorts of things; Buddhism, Hinduism, Islam, Existentialism, A Divine Higher Being Somewhere Out There, etc. Even the Christians differ in their ways; some place a great emphasis on ritual and reverence and others focus on Him being a companion and friend and a gift that ought to be shared, even if it takes means like technology and loud music. What I believe in is a personal relationship with God, and the power to choose. Personally, as a Christian, it doesn't matter how people worship, it doesn't matter if you disagree on the smaller issues like whether or not there's purgatory or if God predestined who would believe in Him and who wouldn't; it doesn't matter. I don't have a definite stand on every single issue pertaining to Christianity; I am still unwilling to condemn abortion or homosexuality, for instance. What matters is that you know in your heart that this is what God is telling you to do, and you do it. It's all between you and Him; the rest can fade into oblivion. Yes, an acceptance of the cross is required, but acceptance must be made wholeheartedly and genuinely. And choice? Well, I believe that people should not ever be forced to, coerced into, or with any tinge of unwillingness, made to convert to Christianity. God is bigger than the box we often put Him in; He is bigger than the crowd, bigger than sermons, bigger than the pastors who make them. Drilling the doctrines of Christianity in will not work; neither will shoving it in people's faces. So it might take them time to come to Christ; let it be. Because when they come, it will be genuine, there will be willingness, and their lives after that will most likely be filled with passion for God. The decision has to come after considering different viewpoints, taking in the big picture, and recognising that out of all that life has to offer, Jesus is the way. let God do the moving; if He tells you to say something or do something, please do it. But stubbornly insisting that you are right and all other ways are wrong and giving them a hard pull in your direction will just be that; a hard pull. A pull that causes bruises, discomfort and annoyance, but does nothing to their hearts.
Everyone's finding their way around; some have stumbled upon Christianity and have found it the best way for them. Some haven't, and some believe they won't. But that's okay, because God knows what He is doing. That is why I'm comfortable being amidst people with totally different perspectives, I'm okay with the diversity of Christian theories, and with regard to the political elections in the US, I'm fine with a president who might not oppose homosexuality or abortion or who might not have the conventional notions of Christianity. (Honestly, there are much larger issues at hand and these issues have simply been blown up, and besides I'd rather have someone who would sit down and negotiate and actually make progress, rather than a self-righteous prig who will not budge on the account of him insisting he is on the right side, inevitably spurring even more hatred.) Because Christianity is about choice. And the only way anything good's going to come out of it, is that in your own time, and in His, you choose.
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