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19 November 2012 @ 10:56 am
Today we open Latshaw Productions' "Christmas Spectacular." I've never been so hesitant for an opening. We've been rehearsing for two weeks, but I'm singing alto on a couple of things which is really hard for me and I just feel like I haven't been able to focus on this like I would have liked to.

I've been having a lot of health issues and they're looking at Crohn's as the cause. I still have a month before the procedures are done that will hopefully reveal what's going on, and in the meantime, it's really hard. It makes me not want to leave the house and very emotional because I'm so uncomfortable. Touring is something I dread instead of look forward to, and thinking about driving home from Troy tomorrow after the show terrifies me. I'm really hoping this is just a stress issue because I'm been having panic attacks with some regularity and I'm working four jobs this month, on top of wedding planning. God, just writing about this is stressing me out. I was hoping it might help, but it seems like it's not. I feel like such a mess.
Current Mood: anxiousanxious
04 September 2012 @ 09:59 pm
So my dress fell through but I have found another one that I love more. Right now, we're working on making cake decisions, booking a group of hotels, collecting books for centerpieces, finding frames for table numbers, & finalizing the guest list and menu. Registering probably should be soon too, but we don't know where we're living and so deciding what we want is difficult. This shit is stressful.

We're getting down to the time where I would like my dad to make a decision about what's happening with the horses. I would love for him to permanently foster Stretch and Largo, because I know I will bawl hysterically when they leave, but we need to make a decision a month ago because we haven't bought hay.

I feel like I have so much to say and no idea where to start. I want to start submitting my poetry. I need to start my gym membership. I also need to put in more hours at work. And get over this summer cold.

Oh, and Nathan won the small car demolition derby at the Big Knob Fair Friday! So proud.
Current Mood: tiredtired
05 July 2012 @ 09:51 pm
We have bridesmaid dresses, a DJ, and my dress just came in this week. I have fallen in love with a florist but I'm afraid I can't afford her, and I really need to get on the cake. I'm disappointed with invitations that I'm finding online, but I suppose I should meet someone in person about it. Maybe I'll just have to get over it. We have some interesting honeymoon options, but they're hella expensive. Great deals for 14/15 day cruises to Europe -- just whether or not it's worth spending so much right away.

Nipper is gone. He's been renamed "Buckles." I don't want to talk about it. We have two new boys though, Largo and Stretch. Stretch is my boyfriend because he likes to protect me, and I can't wait for Spirit to go so Largo will relax into our home. Stretch is 17.1 hands, so I need to buy a new girth for him, but I can't wait to get on. I adore him.

Vacation in a few weeks. I can't wait to go to Ben's wedding with Will, to have a hotel room to ourselves, to be us again. The week that my parents went away was a nice reintroduction to that, but it's hard with other responsibilities that aren't really our own.

I have leads on auditions and I'm excited, but I'm such a spazz about it that it's just stupid. I need to memorize a monologue and get my headshot reprinted. I need to get back into singing, and I need to submit my writing so that I might start writing again. Oh, and work out to lose weight.

So much to do. When?
Current Mood: blankblank
Current Music: anis mojgani
21 May 2012 @ 10:19 pm
There is so much to say and I don't even know where to start.

To no one's surprise, I am horrible at planning a wedding. Not because I can't organize or be money-conscious, but because I cannot make decisions and I feel like a total bitch if I don't ask Will's opinion -- and then I get flustered when he says "I don't know, what do you think?" However, today, I am remaining relaxed about it because I just can't wait to be married to him. I'm so tired of travelling 125 miles one way to see him every other weekend. I hate leaving his arms Monday morning to go back to a life that seems half-empty when he's not there. I think before I was panicking about where we would live and how things would work, and now I'm just accepting that it will fall into place because that is the love of my life and I need to be where he is. Wedding planning is progressing though. We have a photographer, a venue, my dress, our bridal party, and almost a DJ. I think we'll be finalizing that this week, and we have a florist & rental place (chair covers) in mind. I've started working on favors and this weekend, we might go to Men's Warehouse to scout out suits/tuxedos. I might meet with a florist this week and also look at a place in Ellwood that does invitations. I've started to look at hotels also, trying to keep a rehearsal dinner space in mind.

Other news: Nipper will be leaving soon. It sucks. I've cried a stupid amount of times over it, but there's nothing I can do. I know that he will be loved there, but I can't help feeling that it's not a perfect match and I want him to live out the rest of his days in a home that truly treasures him. I'm concerned for Spirit when he leaves. I think we're going to try to keep him solo to see if his behavior improves, but I don't want that to be long term because I hate having just one here. If he doesn't get better, we're probably going to swap him out for other horses at the farm -- possibly Lady, who is blind, or Stretch, who is 17 hh. I really need to get on Spirit and put him into a routine. But I've picked up a second job, and things are a little crazy.

There's so much more I could say, but a ton of it would have to be censored or edited, and I just don't really have the patience for that tonight. I really need to clean out my room, what I have left in the garage and basement, and get my bedroom furniture sold. I'm seriously considering just throwing the majority of that stuff away because I'm not sure it's worth the time to go through and repack. The idea of touching it all stresses me to no end. I also need to get back into writing and more importantly start sending out my work. Really, I should get on top of auditions, but the idea of travelling into Pittsburgh to do a show on top of my two jobs, horses, and wedding planning is enough to make my head spin in the worst kind of way. Writing here has made me feel better though. I should really keep that up.

Tomorrow, I'll probably go into one or both jobs and perhaps hit a craft store to get some ideas for our favors. I need to get fly spray and grain, as well, and I could really use a chiropractor appointment. Wednesday, I'm doing lunch with Tina and Thursday I'm meeting Laura for dinner. I really need to get in touch with A'nne and I think Katie is actually mad at me. Anyway, I'm really just counting down until Friday when I can rush back out to Ohio and try to erase the stress.
Current Mood: awakeawake
09 May 2012 @ 08:20 pm
I can't believe I bought my wedding dress [and veil] Monday!
Current Mood: awakeawake
Current Music: birthday - andrea gibson
04 April 2012 @ 05:21 pm
Things with Spirit have definitely been a challenge. He's testing me pretty constantly, but today, we made progress and I'm so excited. When I came home from work, I saw him in the field and started whistling & calling his name. Yes, I cat-call my foster horse. Haha, not exactly, but I was so amped when he started to come over to the gate today. I ran down to the barn, got treats, and met him at the back. Then, I walked back up to the house and he was sticking close, so I called him over again. It took a little more coaxing the second time, but I couldn't be more excited that we're making progress together. There's a family that's very interested in adopting him, but he's still settling here and I was getting anxious about him being ready in time. Also, my saddle keeps sliding ridiculously and I can't quite figure out why. Friday, Nipper will be arriving.

I'm so excited about getting married. Friday night, we're double dating with Tina (my maid of honor) and her beau at Shakespeare's. Excited :]
Current Music: your hand in mine - explosions in the sky
29 March 2012 @ 10:16 pm
Spirit arrived today. He was pretty nervous and has been weaving a lot, which was a little disturbing at first. I'm hoping it's something that he'll quit once he gets used to us and once Nipper arrives. I'm considering riding him tomorrow, as he does really well one-on-one, even though he's definitely stressed from his arrival. However, he's a pretty boy and I'm looking forward to getting on him. To my surprise, Lily reacted pretty badly by barking up a storm, but when I took her outside to meet him, he scared her. I didn't expect this, since she was around when we had the horses before, but oh well. It shut her up, at least. Emma, however, thinks Spirit is her new play-toy. She has no fear and was barking/play-bowing/standing up to smell him. I kind of hope she learns her lesson fast. If Theresa can't bring Nipper, and I think she won't be able to, Bev said she could bring him Friday or Saturday of next week. I'd prefer Friday so that Spirit is less alone, but I guess we'll have to play it by ear.

I'm in love with Pinterest. It's helping me gather some great wedding ideas. Also, I pinned an invitation I liked from Magnet Street, and they commented, asking if they could help in any way and wishing me happy planning, and then they followed my wedding board. I thought that was pretty excellent customer service.

I know this is like a blog, but I was kind of thinking about starting one. When it warms up and the horses are settled, Katie's going to come up to take pictures with the horses. I'm so looking forward to Will coming out this weekend. I miss him terribly. He's in Kent tonight, and that, for whatever reason, seems to make it even harder. Today has really worn me out. I think I'm just going to head to bed. I'm so looking forward to this weekend. Even though I don't particularly have any plans that I'm leaning towards, there is so much I want to accomplish in a fun way, that I'm just happy to do it. Tina and Katie D want to come out next week to see Spirit. On April 6, we're double-dating with Tina and her beau at Shakespeare's, since that'll be exactly one year before the wedding. I need to get ideas for engagement photos and decide whether or not I'm anti-"save the dates." I need to stop thinking so much.
Current Mood: tiredtired
28 March 2012 @ 09:36 am
I really need to start using this more. However, I met Nipper yesterday, who will be coming [hopefuly] soon. He's a 16hh Paint with the same coloring as Splash. He's 21, an ex-barrel racer, and a brat. It seems like he hasn't had the attention necessary to keep him behaving, so he's just not. I'm excited to work on him, because he really does know what to do, he's just not. He hardly stood still yesterday, even with the chain across his nose. I'm just a little worried that he's going to be too agressive in a one-on-one with Spirit. But otherwise, total excitement. He reminds me a lot of Splash, and I'm hoping I don't call him by the wrong name or something, haha. Spirit is coming tomorrow. I have yet to meet him, but he's a 15.3hh Appalosa roan. Apparently, there's a girl that is interested in him, but she has to have surgery and will probably be out to see him in two weeks. I don't know if I really think that's going to work out, but I'm excited to have him right away. If he goes quickly, we've talked about Colossus shipping from Jersey, but he kicks in his stall and my mom is not happy about that. I might talk to Bev about Parasevens, because it doesn't say he's being fostered and when I had thought about adopting in the fall, he was one of my choices.

My nails are hot pink. What is happening?

Will and I really need to get on wedding planning. Besides showering Spirit in attention this weekend, that is going to be a project for us. I'm also trying to have a bonfire and go to see Freedom's musical, since I told Nate I would. Now it's becoming a family thing, and honestly, I could care less about going other than to bitchy with Nate, so I'm a little disappointed that it's not going to happen like that. Yes, I am a brat.
Current Mood: anxiousanxious
21 March 2012 @ 10:11 pm
Very quick update:
- Lasik went really well, results-wise. The process was scary as shit and the healing didn't go as I had planned, basically because they didn't tell me enough, but no problems.
- Mom has just been cleared to eat and do as she likes, besides driving. She will probably get the okay for that tomorrow when I take her to the doctor's.
- I've been cleaning out the barn and trimming the grass under the electric fence, because we're getting horses. Probably next week. I'm so excited to foster rescue horses. It's the perfect solution to me missing these beautiful animals, but not knowing where I'm going after we get married.

Once I get things settled, I'll try to write more.
Current Mood: tiredtired
Current Music: skinny love - birdy
05 March 2012 @ 06:14 pm
Well, we have a wedding venue and a photographer. Our next step is an officiant, DJ, and florist. I'm getting really excited, even though it's over a year away. Also, this month will be two years for us.

I'm having my eye surgery Thursday. Can't believe it's already here. I'm hoping everything goes smoothly and trying not to think about it too much.

I have so much on the mind that none of it is coherent...
Current Mood: boredbored