yippie. [Monday August 1st, 2005 at 8:06am] HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!! sorry i havent posted in awhile. theres alot of stuff that has been going on. for starters i've been sick and off of work for a week. so, thats never fun. an oh yes, theres this one boy.. much love to him! 1 reply edit save

ima sickling [Thursday July 14th, 2005 at 6:30am] cough. congestion. sore throat. w/ golf size glands. ear infections. yes, plural. both ears. massive headaches. all the dang time. drowsy constantly. an full body ache/age. with all of that im on three medications. one for cough, pain and throat. i go to this quack doctor. hate her. an she's all like i think you have mono. ask's me a million questions about my bf. which ya'll should know i dont have one. then, accuses me of being pregnant. wow. but she never sent me to the hospital... to get tested for mono?!?! dumb bitch. im not really in the mood for anything lately. its no ones fault really. i've been really touchy. one little thing could piss me off for a week/month. an it seems like everyone else in the world... gots an attitude with me for no reason. an these little girls.. let me tell yah. i thought i was about to find one last night. an fug her whole world upside down and inside out. lyke myke brought to my attention. one life. one crew. fuck you. with that im going back to bed. xxx 2 reply edit save

roll with it [Thursday July 14th, 2005 at 6:25am] LIFE... throws punches at ya. YOU... just got to block'em. 0 reply edit save

wondering [Tuesday July 12th, 2005 at 12:02am] [ mood | curious ] i've been sick for the past weekend. all i want to do is sleep. but i cant bc. i cannot go a day w/out being w/my friends. i've had a lot on my mind lately and a lot has came up. im still just trying to gather these thoughts. i want to be the person that knows whats she wants. when she wants it and why she wants what she wants. its like.. i want so many things & all at the same time. i know its impossible to have them all at once. i want to be able to have one boy & that boy be all that i need. its like every other second a different boy is going through my thoughts. i know that im making myself sound whore-ish but im not at all. i could honestly tell you who i want to be with right now & for the rest of my life. i hope things will work themselves out for the best... but is it wrong to want another boy.. while im waiting for this wish to come true? you tell me bc im killing myself with this question. 0 reply edit save

I AMOUNT TO NOTHING. [Thursday July 7th, 2005 at 11:40pm] [ mood | pissed off ] [ music | bullshit. ] so appartently.. im not going to succeed at anything i do. a cosmetologist job, gettin my own place or anything. shirley told taylor that while they were in maryland. that she wasted all of her money on cosmo. bc. im never gonna get a job at it. luckily.. taylor actually cares about me and said that i was taking a break. an shirley says.. she calls this taking a break. she still works at coastal. what if i quit my job there.. then i'll just get bitched at. like she did when she confronted me about a job in a salon. its so nice to know that the people that you care about and are in your family.. dont believe that you can achieve ANYTHYING. she said that i wont be able to get my own place bc. i dont work enuff hours. an that i wont ber able to do it. she like doesnt think i can do anything. she talks mad shit about me all of the time. taylor, said its like she obsessed with talking about me behind my back. so i was like taylor name ONE time that shes said something GOOD or NICE about me. an taylor couldnt even open her mouth bc. she knows that she never does. im not allowed to use her cell phone anymore.. bc. apparently i delete the calls so she doesnt see who im talking to. like im fucking dealing drugs over her god damn phone or something. like i have a secret life. i swear if im in this house for another minute im gonna just die. im 17 years old. my birthday is the first of august. not even a month away. i have to be home at 11 before curfew which is 11:30. an the only freedom i have is too basically.. go to work. she will not sign for me to get a cell phone.. but my cousin's birthday is july 16th and shes buying her a prepaid one? shes gonna be 13 and its not like she even goes anywhere. i mean she does but rarely. she doesnt NEED one. an she wont even buy me a prepaid one. she says that i never say thank you for anything thats shes ever done for me. which is a lie. i can even tell you the date on which i have. she acts like im such a bad person. i feel like i go out everynight and smoke weed, shoot up, drink and have sex with every person i come into contact with. this is how i feel like im being treated/seen. i NEVER lie to her about anything. an the stuff that she doesnt know.. she doesnt ask about. i feel like we rarely even converse with each other. it honestly saddens me. i dont know what im doing wrong that makes her think that i wont be able to reach my dreams or make it. i go to work everyday.. sick or not sick. this summer i've taken one day off. one day... bc i wanted a day for myself. i dont know what to do or how to react. i cant tell her anything because no one else is ever right. i do know that.. i cant take it anylonger. an the sooner im gone the better it will be. otherwise, i just might become the criminal that she thinks i am. an if your thinking... oh my.. this girl thinks shes gots it bad and she doesnt. this isnt even tha half of it. an i'd rather you not judge me... i am thankful for what i have.. i six got amazing friends: ten, megan, mindy, autumn, brittaney and taylor. they are my family. they are the only ones i cant count on, trust and know that they care about me and believe in me. an accept anything that i do.. no matter what it is. i know these girls got my back. an if im down, then they are down. theres nothing else to it. if i didnt have them to confide in and have around. i would already be in a padded room with no corners. i think i'll stop here.. im sorry that i've bored you this much. love my woman. ya'll are my life. <333 5 reply edit save

this boy. [Tuesday July 5th, 2005 at 12:38am] [ mood | still worried. ] [ music | nothing. ] PS. im in love with this boy. i dont care what any of you think. an dont ask me about it. dont doubt me. its true. your not going to know. no matter how hard you beg. an if you needed to know. then you would already. so if you dont. back the fuck up. an stay outta my life and business. im not changing my mind for anyone. we might not be together. it doesnt nmatter to me. this boys got my heart. i might get with other guys. have another boyfriend. but he'll still always have my heart. i doubt i can be with him. an i know that this is true. no matter what i'll love him. it doesnt matter what you do. byyiiiee.. <3 you. 0 reply edit save

omgz. [Monday July 4th, 2005 at 11:47pm] [ mood | to death. ] [ music | i cant listen to it. i'll cry. ] i'll warn you before you all begin reading this whole thing. it is destined to be long. so if you are one of them stuck up assholes that only give a damn about yourself and no one else; please click the "x" in the upper right hand of this screen. thursday, my family left at five in the morning to head to ocean city, maryland. they weren't coming back until sunday night. ten, my lovely wife, stayed here at my house with me. we ended up staying at mindys house w/ eric, adam, kc and darrell. we all went swimming and did some other stuff. that i wont put in here because who knows, who'll look at this. friday, we kigged it. nuff said. not saying whom with or where. or anything else. that is all you need to know. trust me. saturday, i woke up and made my woman, megan, a birthday cake. which i totally fucked up. haha. but its okay because it truly came from the heart. we went to canton to buy her a present and came back to my house made pizza with her. we then attempted to see the fireworks at tom's but there was alot of tree blockage. i got tripped out on and had to leave. then i went to mindys house and adam let off some dynamite. two cops rolled deep right when he lit it. we ran inside, idk what your talking about officer all ten of us where in here sleeping with the lights off. haha. after that was over with: me, ten, mindy and adam rolled out to erics house. he was having a party. chilled there for about two hours and had mindy drop me off at home. other stuff happened again. an you will not know about this. sunday, we woke up at like 3:30.. walked down to mindys and got my car. came home.. cleaned and then went swimming. about 15 after we got home my family returned. we hung out with them and then went cruising. ten stayed the night and all that shiit. today, we bleached the front section of my hair. were gonna put the purple in later. we hung out with mindy all day. then tens, grandma called my aunt tripping and said all this shit. so i had to take her home. it was messed up and i wanna choke her. me and mindy went to the sebring fire works with eric :-* (not my cousin)and john. haha. they are so funny. an now im at home typing you all of this. o' course. this is the pg-13 version and unless your real close to me, you wont be gettin the rated r. haha. an if your close, to me then you already know what happened. now to whats on my mind and what i have to say. i honestly care less what anyone thinks about me anymore and all you fuckers that got any god damn problem with me what so ever. need to quit talkin shit behind my back. bc. i do have friends that stay true and tell me what your saying. so if this is one of you, then you need to get some fucking balls and tell me to my face or tell me you self. an yes, i can have more than one friend. i dont need to be with one person all the damn time. an if im with somemone for over a week then there reason to it. hmph, maybe its because their fucking living at my house. thats a thought. this is not directed to only one person. there are many of you out there and your all gettin on my fucking nerves. im so sick of this bullshit. its about time you foos confront me. an trust me im down. i dont need you anymore than i need someone else that is gonna talk shit behind my back. i dont care how long you've known me or what you got on me. i HONESTLY DONT GIVE A FUCK. so either say something or shut the fuck up because i've had it. fuck you hoes. k. thanx. bye. <3 3 reply edit save

i feel a rhyme. [Friday July 1st, 2005 at 2:05am] [ mood | awake ] [ music | my collected thoughts. ] coffee. donuts. cant sleep. missing someone. its hard. loving another. its lust. wishin on a star. that someone else.. was mine, instead of hers. im a complete wreck. life is not fair. sometimes. were all human. we make mistakes. some more than others. its kewl. we all learn. but does it really stop us? we get hurt. move on. doesnt mean we stop caring. we all know.. theres things that can never be. but we still want them. i know i love him. its killing me. i want to be with him everyday. its not possible. in his arms every second. but its to obvious. i cant stand us seperating. we have to. i've fallen for him completely. im dyiiiiing. im the jealous girl.. that stands by. theres nothing that i can do. i can only wait. the day will never come. i'll never be his. its tearin my heart into. yet, theres still nothing i can do. she'd kill me if she only knew. that i love him and its true. later gators. 0 reply edit save

FUCK SUBJECTS. [Thursday June 23rd, 2005 at 12:42pm] [ mood | drained ] [ music | NONE. ] whatever. i was going to talk about something. but, obviously, i just read into things too much. so i'll refrain myself from even speaking my mind. considering, the fact that: i think too much. an the thing is; thats more than likely... right! yeah, nice night. had a blast. whoopty doo. Another nail in my coffin. 1 reply edit save

OMGZ. [Thursday June 23rd, 2005 at 1:38am] [ mood | embarrassed ] [ music | still nothing. ] SO TODAY I TOTALLY EXITED WHAT I THOUGHT WAS A EXIT. HAHA. IT TURNED OUT TO BE THE DAMN SIDEWALK. I WAS RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY INSURANCE COMPANY, IN MY LITTLE THUNDERBIRD, GOING OVER A SIDEWALK TO GET ONTO STATE STREET. I HOPE THEY DIDNT SEE THAT. =0 I FELT LIKE A COMPLETE DUMBASS. 1 reply edit save

RECENTLY. [Monday June 20th, 2005 at 1:27am] [ mood | thankful ] [ music | T.I. Motivation ] hi. so, i've realized that i have not posted anything in here for awhile. im not very good with making things a daily habbit. except for, going to work. blah but thats is something i have to do. recently, in the life of wizzle: 1. my two best friends are getting aloooong. i am so happy that the tension has ceased. thank god. idk, what i would do if it hadn't. talk about an emotional wreck. i love them both with all of my heart. they make me whole and complete. 2. me and mike have been getting along lately. i am so happy. its not that we didnt get along before but i guess i was just unsure of everything and felt like i was annoying him. he makes me laugh, smile, and feel like everything in the world is at peace even when its not. its like, i think of him and automatically im smiling on cue. he is the boy of my dreams, the boy i would marry tomorrow, the boy i cant stop thinking of, the boy i would base my life around, the boy i want to be with, the boy that means everything to me and the boy i love with all of my heart. we were joking around tonight on the phone about us getting married but the thing is i wasnt joking. i meant EVERY word i said. i can see me being with him for the rest of my life and being happy. there is no other guy that i want to be with; more than the desire that i have to be with him. with that, i will end this section. 3. My motha, the one who brought me into this beloved world, is actually on speaking terms with me again. we are getting things ready for my graduation party. we went through pictures the other day. i wanted to just cry. i love her with every inch of my heart. the seperation; is killing me. an even though, i may act like i dont care.. deep down = im dying. i know that she has an illness, which is why she does and says things sometimes. i know she doesnt mean it, but it still hurts. an as much as i want to hate her for everything, i cant. i cant hold a grudge against her. i just pray that this time everything goes okay. that, there will be no fights. i honestly, dont know what i would do with out her in my life. i believe that this is enough for tonight. im going on 5 hours of sleep from last night and a two hour nap. all i can say is caffiene is the greatest invention on earth, as well as energy drinks. IIIGGAAA. we'll i shall retire. goodnight, sweetdreams. love you guys. <3333 2 reply edit save

new me. [Wednesday June 8th, 2005 at 1:41am] [ mood | refreshed ] [ music | T.I. "you dont know me" ] I am so happy i am done with high school. This summer is going to be the best one, i know! I love all of my friends, they make me whole. This thing is new im still trying to figure it out. So bare with me, please. Tonight, was fun. as is everynight. I finally gave the boy i like at work my number. He hasnt called me yet, im sure of this. The phone has not left my side. I feel like i am coming out of this shell that i have been in for awhile. An im starting to like the way things are. I have decided that im just going to start going with the flow. Whatever happens, happens. An im going to except that fact. No more, worrying for me. Im through with all of that. If this boy is to not call. Im NOT going to depress about it. There are other boys in the sea. An they havent met me. (Not to sound conceited but..) they dont know what their missing. Later fools. <3 wizzle. 0 reply edit save

[Wednesday June 8th, 2005 at 1:08am] HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!@?@#$%^&*#$%& 0 reply edit save

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