Current mood:	sad
Current music:	btbam - all bodies

i don't want to bitch and whine and beg for attention or something
but i guess not letting anyone know how i feel is probably unhealthy and worse.
well, if you care to know why i've been a little upset recently, go ahead and read this:

SwimKid690: did u make plans for todya?
in her dark eyez: not yet
SwimKid690: k
SwimKid690: u free 2moro?
in her dark eyez: idk if i will. everyone's always too busy
in her dark eyez: definitely
in her dark eyez: cause we probably won't see each other on monday
in her dark eyez: which is..
in her dark eyez: :-)
in her dark eyez: guess
SwimKid690: )
SwimKid690: i kno
SwimKid690: actualy
SwimKid690: i may be able to convince my mom to let me
in her dark eyez: :-) ok
in her dark eyez: but like
in her dark eyez: i kinda doubt i'd have any plans for tomorrow anyway
SwimKid690: tru
SwimKid690: but still
SwimKid690: monday
SwimKid690: is elet
SwimKid690: leet
in her dark eyez: i don't feel like trying
in her dark eyez: and then being sad
in her dark eyez: and disappointed
SwimKid690: trying at what
in her dark eyez: to make plans with anyone
SwimKid690: oo
SwimKid690: yea i hate wen that happens
in her dark eyez: it always happens to me
in her dark eyez: i never feel like i get enough attention unless i'm with you
SwimKid690: that sucks -.-
in her dark eyez: yeah i know.
in her dark eyez: and idk, i'm not really one to ask for it
SwimKid690: y. i dont understand
in her dark eyez: like, my friends will include me in things but i never feel like it makes a difference that i'm there, they're usually not talking to me
in her dark eyez: and it always seems like i talk and no one's listening
in her dark eyez: or like, sometimes i'll blatantly move near someone
in her dark eyez: and they just keep talking to whoever, without even acknowledging that i'm there
SwimKid690: thats really lame of them
in her dark eyez: i know
in her dark eyez: idk if they notice me though
in her dark eyez: but i'm not going to sit there forcing them to
SwimKid690: tru
in her dark eyez: so i always just kinda feel lonely
in her dark eyez: why tell them about it, it's basically just asking for attention
SwimKid690: =/
in her dark eyez: they don't realize they're even doing it. they don't do it on purpose
in her dark eyez: that's why they're still my friends. but i feel so ignored a lot
SwimKid690: but they still do it..
in her dark eyez: today at psat's
in her dark eyez: i was sitting next to sam
in her dark eyez: and we were fine talking until jenna came in
in her dark eyez: she sat on the other side of him
in her dark eyez: and he turned around to talk to her, which means he couldn't even hear me anymore
in her dark eyez: i mean, they're both my friends. why couldn't they include me.
in her dark eyez: but they didn't
in her dark eyez: and after i had to hand my test in
in her dark eyez: i was like hey guys should i wait for you
in her dark eyez: cause they had to wait to hand their tests in still
in her dark eyez: and they just kept talking
in her dark eyez: and i said it like 3 times
SwimKid690: thats so lame
in her dark eyez: then i like mumbled screw you guys and left
SwimKid690: u shuda said it louder
in her dark eyez: i did
SwimKid690: ah
SwimKid690: wut did they do
in her dark eyez: they didn't stop talking
in her dark eyez: so i just left

i'm sorry i didn't mention anything sooner.