Days can get so good, and they can get so bad.

Today was one of those that belong to the latter. I fell asleep more than 10 times in class, I think. I hate falling asleep in class it makes me feel horrible for the rest of the day, but I really couldn't help it.

And I hate how things in the house are turning out. Fine, it's probably my fault, but I want to give it all up right now and just not care about anything.

Royal Mail stinks. My mum sent a parcel from Singapore on 1 December, which should have arrived by now, but obviously it hasn't. So I tried to go to the post office to enquire about it, but the man at the counter said I've got to call a number to ask. Fine, so I called and wasted xx pounds on the stupid answering machine operator, and when I finally got to a human, she asked me for ALL my details from name to number to address and finally when she got to the post code, she told me that I've called the wrong branch. Yay. So she gave me another number to call, which I have called 3 times but no one picked up. So clever.

So basically, the parcel is nowhere to be found, and I'm very, very annoyed.

I could kill the next person who feeds me with more irritation.

Want to go home. Home home home home home.

I could shout this 10 thousand times over.

I WISH I WAS GOING HOME FOR WINTER :(

I performed really poorly at placement yesterday, in my opinion. I was completely zonking out from whatever has been happening throughout the week, thus my lack of attention and uh, contribution. I wonder if my PE is secretly annoyed with me just that she doesn't say it in my face. I hope she doesn't give me bad feedback ugh. I have the rest of the placement sessions next year to redeem myself, hopefully. It was quite funny how she suggested to me in a rather serious manner how I need to attend her therapy sessions because I said 'he' for 'she' about five times in a row. Whoops. She's such a dear.

IF ONLY there was no uni next week, I would really really want to go for her sign-along training session. I'm really interested in learning it! Sigh.

I've always known that people here refer to uni as being uni, but I never really did realize how it is so conceptually different to them. In Singapore we always talk about anything using the word 'school', even now as I keep in touch with my friends I go 'how's school', but it doesn't work here. Note to self: school=school, uni=uni, and school=/=uni. So when I talk to people from UK, always use UNI. Otherwise I'd sound really stupid.

I'm babbling.

Speech and Language Therapy - A Case Study

Hypothesis 1:
GT's difficulties are Japanese-specific.

Hypothesis 2:
GT has particular difficulties with expressive Japanese, in particular syntax and grammar.

Evidence:
- She expresses herself appropriate using English and Chinese and is understood by other people.
- With persistent effort, she can make sense of a textbook passage within an hour, indicating comprehension above-average (although she appears to have difficulty processing speech input as she finds it hard to understand her teacher unless she slows down).
- She makes persistent but inconsistent errors with particles and grammatical markings in Japanese.
- She cannot make complete utterances in Japanese without hesitations and hiccups in between.
- Her range of vocabulary is not appropriate to the number of years she has learned Japanese.

Causal Factors:
- Lack of need to use Japanese to convey meanings
- Low verbal memory capacity for remembering Japanese vocabulary

Maintaining Factors:
- Lack of exposure to Japanese other than weekly lessons
- Lack of opportunity to use Japanese in daily life

Exacerbating Factors:
- Low confidence in speaking up in class during weekly lessons

Therapy Approach:
- Throw her in Japan.

Yay. Help.

The day started off really really low. This is my first un-free Thursday of the year, because of some library research workshop. I was seriously tired from the series of events and work over the past few days, with the lack of sleep and such. But it wouldn't have mattered if the lesson was interesting, judging by how I've enjoyed most of my lessons so far. BUT gosh today's lesson was just awful. By lunchtime I felt like a zombie, and I was totally acting like an anti-social freak because I was zoning out so much I couldn't interact normally with anyone without looking unfriendly. 

Thankfully, it ended at 4 instead of 5, because I guess the tutors realized that people were getting restless and to some extent out of control (lol). So Eunice and I cancelled our dinner date to go home for a short rest before coming out for Jap class again.

I was sooooo tired during jap class I was stoning most of the time, not knowing what sensei was talking about. But towards the end, she made us pair up to do this picture conversation exercise, which was ultra hilarious. On the way back home, I also had a nice chat with some classmates, which perked me up quite a bit. :)

When I got home, I started checking my email and browsing the net, and I found that Vistaprint is having free personalized wall calendars! Since I was planning to make one for my family anyway, I couldn't bear to miss the offer so I started customizing it. I'm very satisfied with the product, and I really hope it comes out nicely when it gets sent home! :) And after that the website showed further offers, which included free customized pens. I found a really nice design, so I decided to buy it in the end as well. But gosh the delivery charges just totally cleaned out the effect of the free products -_- That's seriously the problem with having a debit card on hand ugh. But to be very honest, I was very happy with the purchases hee :) Although the website burnt my entire night, it was extremely therapeutic. Is that considered retail therapy?

I desperately x100 need to curb my spending! 

I feel an immense sense of satisfaction every time after I Henry the floor, because it feels like it can't get any cleaner (although, of course, it could do with some mopping but heck). It makes me want to dance around!

After many, many days of unmotivated cleaning, my new room is finally up and fully furnished! :)

It's actually quite cosy, and self-sufficient with all that I have now - enough room for the essentials, and a just-right number of little compartments to store my barang. Now is just the final unpacking of my clothes (because the wardrobe was just set up today) and finding extra space to store my XL-sized luggage. 

I really have my housemates to thank! I don't know what would have become of me if I had to do this all alone. It's crazy work. 

My school's starting tomorrow :( while all the others start next week. Grrr. That's the end of summer for me, but I guess it's about time for my brain to get back to work. Hope school will be just as good! 

I had my last day of placement at TCIL today. And I'm feeling pretty sad about it. :(

I learnt so much at placement about the education of people with learning disabilities in Singapore. Who can imagine that at this little corner of the busy city, there is this group of adults who go to school simply because they enjoy their friends' company, not knowing when they can 'graduate'. And then this group of staff who can go to work in t-shirt, bermudas and slippers hahaha. I really enjoyed interacting with the clients and learning more about their lives. They are really so adorable - okay most of them. The staff were also very very helpful, and extremely willing to share information with me, although I'm just a student. The supervisor was so sincere she went through every single point of the learning aims and objectives with me, and even double-checked that she did everything on the checklist called 'roles of the supervisor' given by the uni. I was truly quite touched because I never did think anyone would bother. :P And I really respect the teachers for having their way of dealing with them and handling them, dedicating time and effort to train them to be independent individuals who can possibly contribute to society in the future despite having some deficiencies. They are so very patient!

Today was their mobility training day, where they are brought out to the public so that they can learn how to take public transport, find their way around in a shopping mall and manage their pocket money etc. It's a lot of responsibility on the staff's part to balance between keeping them safe and allowing them to demonstrate independence. The teachers also have to be very observant about their behaviour in public and how it possibly relates to their development in all aspects. 

I am so thankful for this experience which allowed me to forge unexpected relationships with people, and learn more about this community that widened my perspectives about the areas in which I can explore upon the completion of my degree (and sadly, my bond o_0). Although I can't be sure to say now that I will be of help to them in the future, I do feel somewhat inspired that I can put my degree into greater use than it looks. 

I AM CRAZY.

Look at the time -  I just woke up.

It happened 2 days ago too.

And yesterday, I woke up at 2pm.

This is not even jetlag. What is thisssss???!!!

24 hours from now, I'll be sitting (hopefully comfortably) on the plane heading home!

Yay I can't wait can't wait to (in no particular order):

1) go back to my own room
2) have a bolster to hug at night
3) not have to do my own laundry :P
4) eat my mum's homecooked food
5) eat hawker food
6) eat japanese buffet at affordable prices
7) wear SUMMER clothes
8) meet up with people
9) visit HC
10) speak Singlish with ease
11) distribute presents
12) watch television
13) read i-weekly
14) KARAOKE
15) check out my new camera

blah blah blah!

I just finished skyping my mum.

My family has changed so much in just six months. It just kind of struck me abit that I'm not there to witness or go through these things with them. I feel like an onlooker - an outsider just looking at the development of another family. It's like I'm not part of it at all. I guess it is one of those sacrifices I have to make by coming overseas.

I'm going home very soon, and I'm pretty sure that these gaps will be filled in very soon. But I also know that I need to be quick and patient in adapting to these changes in my family to fit in, which makes it weird in a way because it will not be the same lifestyle I am familiar with and looking forward to.

Despite all that, I can't wait to be back!

My room is like a war zone. And eunice is coming back tonight. Uh-oh.

This entry is so postdated.

I LOVE AMERICA. Despite being there at a not-so-very-good time because of the Swine Flu, it sure didn't feel like that over there. The streets of Manhattan were crowded and alive most of the time, and even late at night. I absolutely loved the look of Times Square, so bustling with life and activity. As much as I'm not a fan of city-touring, I had a great time appreciating how New York City is constructed in such a beautiful way that represents the world economy. We also got to catch a Broadway show and take a picture with the female lead! Other than that, of course there was shopping :P Brooklyn, on the other hand, showed a quieter suburban side of the city. Besides touring itself, the company was awesome. I had a wonderful time catching up with old friends and meeting new ones. I must say our random group got along pretty well with each other :)

Visiting Chicago after New York City probably made it appear much less friendly and less exciting. The highlight of our Part 2 was definitely visiting Northwestern University, meeting up with Suet and Heng Jie, and getting a taste of the American school. I discovered that I'm really an appreciator of Campus school life. I find it so much more fulfilling and engaging as compared to the city life that I'm experiencing now in Uni. Northwestern is really beautiful. Although like they said, I probably went over at a good time because there was good weather and there were lots of activities going on in the week leading up to Dillo Day. And I guess UK education has its own little perks, such as being less stressful? But I really miss campus lifestyle. I love the idea of chilling out as just hanging around with people and friends somewhere doing random things, or playing random games on the school fields, instead of getting drunk in a pub/club. It is some UK culture that I think I can never get used to. 

Maybe it's just me, or that I'm not doing enough to socialize, but I somehow feel that I could fit better in a campus school. Because what is there is what we all share in common, and this creates a strong sense of identity and belonging towards the shared community. It's so free (not in the monetary sense) because everything in that campus belongs to every student, very much unlike what I'm experiencing here, where every single unit of the school operates with such independence that we have to pay for every facility that we're using. There is this strong sense of unified dignity that presents itself in a campus, that can never be found in a university placed right smack in the middle of a city full of noise and distractions, one that has its random buildings interspersed in every space that can be found somewhere among others.

This trip was definitely time well spent :) I'm so thankful it happened, although it seemed like yet another dream when I finally met up with people from the girls' club again! And of course, there's Chermaine to thank, whom I "slept with" throughout the whole time :P, who saw me through the tough and tiring times, especially during the lost-luggage fianza.

Now, I just have to cross my fingers and pray that I stay good and healthy for the next few days. Maybe one way to achieve this would be to sleep earlier?!

In just about 6 hours, I'm going to leave my room and my hall to head for Heathrow. And that is the beginning of our voyage to The Land of Swine Flu.

I'm actually very, very nervous. Hurrr.

Technically not just because of swine flu, but also the uncertainties about going on a totally unplanned trip (okay, maybe it's planned but I don't know the plans) and because it's just been a few days after the end of exams that I feel that I haven't settled down enough.

I know I have to, but I think I won't be able to sleep tonight. I'm counting on the plane ride.

I need everything to help me (and Chermaine) stay healthy and fit for the next 2 weeks. Please not let the jinx-y curse befall upon me (well, us, but I would think she's not as prone as I am).

GOOD LUCK TO US.

Uhm, I don't have a very good feeling about Practical Phonetics. Uh-oh.

In retrospect, I should have been more calm. What the heck was I doing?!!!

Before the day ends,

Thank you Friends, I never had a bigger surprise for my birthday.

I am so very grateful. Not so much for the presents (although I do love them!) but the whole thought of putting this day together and planning such a grand surprise even during the stressful exam period. The love that is filled within all those wishes and messages I received from all channels, telling me that no matter how negative and homesick I can sometimes be, things are not always all that bad.

I've never, ever had such an unexpected birthday, with surprises coming in waves. And I was happy all the way until the very last second (okay yeah it took me 15 minutes to put all of these fluently into words).

I'm very touched. And very, very extremely surprised haha. THANK YOU <3

I really have a lack of friends in london :( Sighhh.

Whoohoohoo! I love this immediate post-exam period where you can SLACK without thinking about anything. :)

Okay I need to think about oral and dictation. But still. At least for this afternoon!

And I need to think about my US trip. Seems like situation there is getting worse and the flu is spreading faster and faster. It's one week to my departure and yet the question is still whether I can/should go or not. Sigh.

Maybe I should think about what shows to watch instead. Or what I should do for the rest of the day to give my brain a good reward for all that it has done for me. HEHEHE.

I had skype sessions with 2 long-time-no-see friends last night, each for an hour (why the hell, when it is supposed to be exam time hahaha) - not on purpose but just... they were supposed to be 15 minutes long but somehow we couldn't stop until someone had to go off. They were such nice warm fuzzy chats that I would remember for a very very long time.

I miss those days. Very very much!