This is unbecoming and unacceptable. I'm at the end of my undergraduate degree, faced head-on with my last, I repeat, last ever written exam, and yet I'm shrouded in a cloud of laziness and unexplained defiance of not wanting to focus or to study for this stupid final leg. 

Someone said to me that it's like running a marathon. You plough on and on and on and alas! you see the finishing line, then you start walking. Not that I really understand because I have never run a marathon and never will. 

I wish Tuesday would just come and BE DONE. I want to buy my new camera, go shopping, cut hair, watch musicals and do some major packing/spring cleaning. I want to do every other thing in the world but study, and not have to feel guilty about it! 

Something nicely bizarre happened today.

I borrowed 3 books from the RNID library, and the Very Extremely Nice and Friendly librarian unexpectedly offered to give me one of those recyclable totes because I was struggling to fit them all into my bag and carry them. He said gently "do you need a bag?".

I was pleasantly surprised, and I said yes. And thank you. 

Little did I know that 5 minutes later, I'll be saying the same thing to someone else.

As I was walking down Sidmouth Street back to Chandler, this man was cycling towards me on the road. He had a Waterstones plastic bag tied to the handle bar of his bike. Just as he was cycling down, the plastic bag ripped apart and his books fell onto the middle of the road (thankfully there were no cars!). He took awhile to react to the situation, stopped his bike, turned back to pick up the books and the torn plastic bag. How was he to cycle without a basket, carrying all those books?

So I went up to him and asked "do you need a bag?", all ready to transfer my books into my bag and offer him the tote. He gave a huge (but slightly embarrassed) smile. 

It turned out that he lived just round the corner and he could just wheel his bike back, so he turned down the offer.

But I couldn't help smile to myself when thinking about the course of events. One good turn could really lead to another :)  

Dilemma. DILEMMAAAAA.

I'm afraid of making the wrong choice. What should I do? :( 

Now that Africa is going to happen (HOORAY!), everything suddenly feels very surreal.

Mother and Brother are talking about plans to come over after I return; discussion underway about friends coming over or travelling together before I go. I have a truckload of summer plans awaiting from post-exams May all the way till graduation. Nothing particularly confirmed, just dates being blocked out.

But summer seems so far away! I feel like I have a lot to get through before I get there. Clearly, the main hurdle will be to graduate. Pray everything goes smoothly!

Still, it's nice to have events to look forward to. I'm really psyched up about this long break where I can truly (well, to a great extent) leave everything behind and simply live. 

This will be grand.

Guess I'm here for my monthly post.

Nothing much has happened since I last spoke of Snowdonia. Anyway, the trip was great and I was really glad I took the step and went on it! Met really fun-loving and friendly people. And I really enjoyed the satisfaction of reaching the peaks, albeit the process was a little awkward and painful haha. I constantly, for that 2 days, had to live with the identity of being the slowest of the group and having to slow the leaders down because as hard as I tried, I couldn't go any faster than the rate I was going. But the experience also taught me that despite my physical (and cardiological) limitations, it's really a test of the mind. I knew that I had to make it to the top and there was no way I could have possibly given up halfway (because the stakes on my reputation are too high hahaha). And I did. I concluded that I have no problem going on hikes, I just need lots of time and little breaks in between. But I'll get there. 

The 2 weeks of placement started off really slowly, but picked up after that. I learnt alot about neuroanatomy of brain injuries, cognitive communication disorders and thinking about functionality of communication performance. I still have lots of areas to develop, and I hope I will improve quickly enough before my clinic visit. This placement is my last ever in the UK, and I have to make it good!

I must say I've been quite disciplined since the year started, UNTIL reading week came. I think I exhausted my self-control over the past 5 weeks. I have been a total slump since reading week started, and I still haven't picked it up fully although I started doing work proper yesterday, which is, to my horror, a little late. I have so much to do on my list now I could feel suicidal. 

What else did I do other than consume myself with watching TV? The new forensics is a little disappointing. I think the chemistry between the new cast is really not great. And half the time I can guess all the murderers haha but okay that's not the point. Somehow, the cinematography isn't as captivating as it used to be. The way they filmed it and cut the scenes made everything a little unrealistic. But I'm still watching it because investigation shows are so my-kind-of-thing. The new forensics technology is really really cool!

Watched fireworks on Guy Fawkes for the second year running. Initially I was on the verge of giving up on going because I really couldn't find anyone to go with. But at the last moment, the neighbour said that she hasn't been before and she doesn't mind going to have a look, which turned out to be brilliant! The fireworks display had really cool designs that I've never seen before in my life. Going for the Lord Mayor's Festival tomorrow. More fireworks yayyy!!! I love fireworks :) 

Also went to watch Chicago. I expected it to be some sleazy dance show haha but I was pleasantly surprised. It actually had a plot and a proper storyline, and the way it was being presented was truly entertaining. I especially loved the scene of the trial towards the end. Everything was not bad except the lead (from Ugly Betty) was really not hot, and her singing sucked. She was SO annoying, unlike the second lead who gave off an air of coolness. 

Started my volunteering routine with KEEN London last week. Determined to commit to it every week as much as I can! The cause is pretty meaningful, and I enjoy the interaction with the people there. Some children seem to have difficulty letting people into their world, but they might just need more time to build relationships compared to others. Giving them the time, opportunity and space to discover that for themselves could change their lives. Seeing them slowly get engaged into group activities is really a joy :)

I have lots to think about over the next few weeks, which will just get crazier. I have left my project alone for 5-6 weeks and it's time to pick it up again from where I left off (but first I have to figure out how). The 4003 presentation is retarded and I hate it so much because I'm really presenting on something I have absolute no passion for. I don't even know what it's asking for. I'm really really excited to go for the SKIP introduction session, which will hopefully inspire me and point me towards a meaningful summer. Then there is the Olympics Volunteer interview. And amidst all of that, more coursework, more readings and more placement.

Crap, I think it might be time to go back to work. :( 

You know, liberation feels REALLY good. 

I have so many things I want to do in this month before I go home. 

1) Read the book that I bought super long ago but had no time to read. And buy more other books to read. And the newspaper articles that my mum sent over. So much to read! Best to be out in the sun at Regent's Park on a nice afternoon. 
2) Watch all the shows that I wanted to watch since super long ago but had  no time to watch (but even now, I don't really feel like I have the time).
3) Practise guitar, which I have not been able to do for the longest time. I think I lost every little ounce of skill I had, which wasn't much to start with. 
4) Catch up with friends from here and back home. 
5) HAVE A GREAT HOLIDAY!!! Experience London, devour Belgium, and explore Portugal. And go on a homestay. Looking forward!!! :)
6) Sort out my FYP. I'm very very excited about it at the moment, and I hope it stays this way as long as it can possibly last. 
7) Finish all work-related things before I go back to Singapore. Hopefully, cross my fingers. 

I look at my google calendar and I am so filled with excitement for the days ahead. Theatre, performances, visitors, holidays. Just everything I need!

This summer is a very different experience from all the previous summers. This is the first time I'm paying summer rent, and having a roof over my head makes everything so much more flexible and easier to organize. I don't have to worry about a 'deadline' by which I have to leave London because I need to vacate my flat, and it is great hassle to inconvenience someone else by bunking in with them for an extended period of time. Therefore, I have been leaving for holidays immediately when term ends, and returning home shortly after. I have not actually stayed for a period long enough to experience a true holiday in London. 

I know right. What a waste! 

And so, making it all up right now. Very thankful for the fact that X is graduating and therefore completing a bucket list before leaving London, and roomie is very knowledgeable and enthusiastic about such stuff, and also oldies like J and M who knows about all the little hideouts worth trying. Really, this is just perfect timing, as I still have a year here to slowly savour and figure everything out. 

It's all going to be good. 

Yay more and more people are speaking up against the Very Rude and Unnecessary expletives and derogatory language posted on the internet irresponsibly against the PAP. If anything else, it really shows that the comments are getting overwhelmingly loud and unbearable to the general public who are not even PAP supporters. Netizens, the fight is OVER and the stage is set. I think it's only fair to give both PAP and WP their right to prove themselves over time. Time to develop some civic-mindedness!