| myspace |
[17 Feb 2005|09:56pm] |
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anyone with a myspace let me know so i can have more friends. :)
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| nothing but YOU is worth living for.. |
[07 Nov 2004|11:42am] |
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mood |
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 sad |
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i'm so tired of her, the person who considers herself my mother..when i don't consider her as anyone. she's a selfish person, and doesn't care about anyone but herself. she does not care about me, or about my feelings. she does not care that i'm crying right now because of what she's doing. she does not care that she is not letting me see the one person that means the world to me. all she cares about is what makes her "happy"..and eventhough what she is doing now she's supposively doing to make herself "happy", later on tonight i'll have to listen to her about how much she hates her life. well right now she's doing nothing but making me hate my life more than i already do. i'm so TIRED of her. i'm so TIRED of everyone. i'm so TIRED of myself. sometimes i wonder why i've decided to continue living this life of neverending misery...
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| i'm fucking tired. i'm tired of it all. |
[14 Oct 2004|05:57pm] |
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mood |
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sad |
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so he decided not to visit me tonight. it's alright with him, because there will always be tomorrow. tomorrow he will be covering me more than my clothes..but today he is at the mall..with "jordan"..and who knows when he'll get home. who cares? i care, and i don't know why. why do i care about him. he does not care at all about me, about his girlfriend. his girlfriend who he supposively loves more than any other. well then why aren't you here now? why am i not put before EVERYTHING and ANYTHING else in your life? why were you not here on your birthday to eat the cake i made you and unwrap the present i bought you? because you were sick? and you were sick the sunday after too right? will you be sick this sunday? or will you be paintballing? paintballing with "bobby" because afterall he's a lot more important than me. maybe i'm crazy, but isn't a boyfriend suppose to stand up for his girlfriend?..and not laugh at her when someone else says something negative about her. "you're quiet,you aren't participating in our converstation.",someone once said..and do you know what he said? he said "she never participates in any conversation." you know what, fuck you. fuck you, fuck you, fuck you. i want to hate you so bad, but i can't..because i love you too much. i love you eventhough you're an immature,stupid,peice of worthless shit. how could i love you if you are all those things you ask?..well it's simple. eventhough you annoy me sometimes, whenever you're around i'm the happiest..happier than a four year old with a balloon. when you kiss me and when you hold me in your arms..i wouldn't want to be anywhere else. you must think differently though, because you could be holding me right now as i'm typing this..and you could be giving me kisses tonight..but you chose not to. you chose to go to the mall with your friends..and god knows who else..maybe debbie? well maybe i'll chose not to be here tomorrow..or the day after..or the day after that. maybe there won't be a tomorrow for me & you together. </3
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| first entry.. |
[10 Oct 2004|12:17pm] |
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mood |
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 weird |
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i have another journal, but i wanted one i could write in and noone would know about it. so i can write whatever i please without having to worry about my friends reading it. so yea.
i guess that's all for now.
until later...
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initiation_