i thought that if i did it fast, and quick... he would answer. i was unsucessful--once again.
crashsite love: one day, i said that you were my stellar star. and i'm seriously sitting here day in and day out, wondering what the hell goes through your head. and the only way i can find out, is by asking you. i'd rather hear rejection, then spend my nights wasting my wishes on you, towards the stars. so, would you please just honestly tell me, or are you going to sign off like you usually do?
BRAEDEN (HIS SN, NOT 4 U, FGT): what do u want to know?
crashsite love: hahaha. goodbye, braeden.
BRAEDEN (HIS SN, NOT 4 U, FGT): what the fuck
then the F'N cunt signed off. i honestly don't believe he is that fucking stpd.
i recieved a surprise yesterday, that scared the shit out of me. around 2am, i felt someone's body curl around mine. and for the slightest second, i remembered stella, and the times we would cuddle together at night. but then, i smelled it. dylan. i can't believe he even got into my bed without taking a bath, and putting on clean clothes first! i see that he still takes advantage of his key, too. after his shower, we layed on the balcony smoking and drinking bacardi. he let me lay on his stomach, and the stars seemed to shine ten times brighter. i forgot what it was like to be with dylan. to laugh, to smoke, and share the same bottle of liquor--it all made me feel so warm inside. around 5am, we went to bed. he stripped off his shirt, and i did the same for my shorts. i've known him for so long, it doesn't bother me.
"goodnight star." he said, as he licked my ear and pulled me close to him. it was so warm and comforting, as if we didn't even need the blankets. i woke up at 930am, and he was gone--with a note on the bed. he has never been one for goodbyes, or so he always used to say. i knew i wasn't going to see him for a long time, and this made my heart cringe. i don't know why. he isn't my stellar star, but i adore him.
my greatest star,
why were you so bothered last night? did my visit bother you? i really hope it did not. i only wished to see your face, before i set out for a while. i won't be back til around december or even mid february. i took some of your clothes, and socks. i really hope you don't mind. i just needed them, badly. i thank you for washing my clothes last night. it has been a while since i have smelled the scent of tide. i left you a pack of cigarettes in your little "hiding place", along with a small bottle of bacardi. i'll never be able to capture your heart, but you will always be my little star. do good in school, and try not to flaunt your "I DON'T BELIEVE IN RELIGION!" shit there, k? and don't worry about me. i'm traveling with a couple of other guys, and we have this abandoned building we will be staying at. so, atleast we will have shelter. i'll try to buy you more smokes where i am at, and send them to you.
i hope the cops don't pick him up like last time. sigh!
stella got out of rehab yesterday. i found out, because SHE called me. however, the conversation was rudely interupted whenever her mother snatched the phone from her.
"do not speak to my daughter. you are nothing but a bad influence, yah hear?
click! i guess she said that because of all the stuff stella and i did together. but stella is 18, she is not a little kid anymore. but because of her alcholic state, she has no control. :/ her mother is an F'N bitch. i've cried too much today.
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