We are all of us in the gutter but some of us are looking at the stars

wha' happened??

2006-04-14T22:51:21Z

Always moving... always on the move.

You would not believe the amount of intensely creepy people on myspace... or maybe you would. Anyway I only joined very recently and since then I've been showing up as a "Cool New Person" for all to see. I do not debate the fact that I am indeed a "Cool New Person", but I would really appreciate if there was a way to stop myself from appearing as such to the entire population of creeps on the internet. I performed an experiment to limit the number of creepy messages, however: I started out with a default picture of myself (one of those clichéd self-photos using a mirror) and received a barrage of mail from pervy and/or lonely and/or desperate guys (and one lesbian). I changed it to a photo I took of a vintage mannequin at the ROM and the messages have since dwindled! Peace at last!

"I think I know another lonely exile when I see one and you appear to be one..."
Aimee Mann

sparks

2006-03-31T05:01:07Z

There was red confetti left on the sidewalk for almost a week afterward.

But I don't think the city complained.

Some people are so fickle. I don't know how she can change her mind from almost one minute to the next. I won't say anything to him about it though. I know it's not really my business.

I have to start bringing the digicam to work again with me. I haven't taken a photo in at least a couple of weeks.

hearts for pb

2006-03-17T01:27:12Z

This is a picture that _particles_ took of me last year in the dead of winter. She's a great photographer! I hate that jacket; but damn it's warm!

Johari window

2006-03-13T05:01:45Z

Well, you know, since everyone's doing it...

http://kevan.org/johari?name=inabsentia_

Please give it a go, it's kind of fun! Use "anonymous" if you don't want to use your name.

I pretty much ripped this off of my good buddy _particles_!

"office" space

2006-03-13T03:06:49Z

Here we are out in the hallway of Basement 1, the floor just below ground level. That heavy wooden sliding door on the left there is the entrance to my "office".

Now we're right at the entrance, peeking in. As you may have guessed this is also sort of a storage area for the docents of the museum.

Entering the office and turning to the left, this is what you will see. Still mostly looks like a storage room.

Now we're sort of rounding the corner. A giant cabinet separates each half of the room.

Rounding the corner of the cabinet completely and we find ourselves (finally) at my office! My sad little windowless office. Initially the chair that I had was busted; I would raise it to its highest position and it would progressively sink down while I was sitting on it. I have since gotten it replaced (thankfully!) with another from Basement 2. My office on Basement 1 is three floors away from the main office area. At least no one can see me checking livejournal and chatting on MSN!

My office sort of reminds me of the movie Office Space and Milton, whose office is forcibly moved several times until he is finally relegated to the basement.

Well, hope you enjoyed the (vaguely depressing) tour!

Seriously though, I love working there! The people are awesome and it's providing great experience working in a museum to put on my résumé.

pictures for the upcoming heist

2006-03-08T03:06:11Z

Casino security, be damned!

Only slightly more fun than literally flushing money down the toilet.

"Be like the Bonobo"

2006-03-02T01:47:12Z

I am diverging from my usual quasi-photographic format to bring you an excerpt of an article I read today in the National Post about the bonobo, which is part of the ape family. My favourite part is in bold. If you click on the link attached to the title of the article, you can see a photograph of two cute little bonobo babies! (Incidentally there's a really great DJ that I like who goes by the name DJ Bonobo.)

Be like the Bonobo
Frans de Waal, National Post
Published: Wednesday, March 01, 2006

[...]

A better illustration of co-operative behaviour comes courtesy of a very different ape, which is exactly as close to us genetically as the chimpanzee, but more like a primate hippie: the bonobo.

Bonobos are physically as different from chimpanzees as a Concorde is from a Boeing 747. Even chimps would have to admit that the bonobo has more style. Their body is graceful and elegant, with piano-player hands and a relatively small head. Females have breasts, not as prominent as in our species, but definitely A-cup compared to the flat-chests found on other apes. Topping it all off is the bonobo's trademark hairstyle: long black hair neatly parted in the middle.

There is no greater contrast between humankind's two closest relatives than how they behave when tempted by food. When forest chimpanzees are given a pile of bananas, they will fight over it. The males become violent and the females have no choice other than to back off. In bonobos, too, the males are the first to approach a tasty meal. But instead of being aggressive, they hurry and look over their shoulders as they collect as much food as they can. The "weaker sex" then approaches, the group has lots of sex, and everyone happily shares the food. If chimpanzees are from Mars, bonobos are from Venus.

Female bonobos typically control such encounters. How? The answer is co-operation: They can't dominate the males on a one-on-one basis (the sex difference in weight is the same as in humans, with a female's weight on average being 80% of a male's). Instead, females dominate males collectively. At zoos, it is well known that a single male bonobo will be dominant if housed with a single female. As soon as a second female is added, however, the male's reign is over.

Apart from the frequent sex -- which has earned bonobos the label of "make love, not war" primates -- there is the obvious sensitivity to others. When a bonobo named Kuni saw a starling hit the glass of her enclosure in a British zoo, she picked up the stunned bird. Kuni then climbed to the top of the tallest tree, wrapping her legs around the trunk so she had both hands free to hold the bird. She carefully unfolded its wings and spread them wide, holding one wing between the fingers of each hand, before sending the bird like a little toy airplane out towards the barrier of her enclosure. But the bird fell short of freedom and landed on the bank of the moat. Kuni climbed down and stood watch over the starling for a long time. By the end of the day, the recovered bird had flown off safely.

The way Kuni handled this bird was different from anything she would have done to aid another ape. Instead of following some hard-wired helping scheme, she tailored her assistance to the specific situation of an animal totally different from herself. This kind of empathy rests on an extremely abstract, advanced cognitive faculty: the ability to imagine the circumstances of another. Adam Smith, the father of economics, must have had actions like Kuni's in mind when, more than two centuries ago, he offered us the most enduring definition of empathy as "changing places in fancy with the sufferer."

The possibility that empathy is part of our primate heritage ought to make us happy, but we are not in the habit of embracing our nature. When people commit atrocities, we call them "animals," but when they give to the poor, we praise them for being "humane." We like to claim the latter behaviour for ourselves.

It is important to remember that we don't descend from sharks, which fight over every scrap, but from highly social mammals that know trust and loyalty. To be kind and co-operative is not only civilized, it is natural. Let us not forget that whenever we are tempted -- whether as individuals or societies -- to indulge in what is mistakenly called "social Darwinism."

inabsentia_ @ 2006-02-19T20:45:00

2006-02-20T02:07:07Z

This was taken in that mild mid-January lull in our usually freezing Toronto winters.
The wild rabbits came back to hang out on the lawn.
It's much colder now. They've probably gone back to hibernating.

If I, as a bookstore cashier, cannot make you a cappucino, then why would you think that a Starbucks barista could locate a book for you??

Finally bought the DVD of The Silence of the Lambs.
It was only $9.99; for some reason, all MGM Classics DVDs are so low priced.
Honestly, I could watch that movie over and over and never get tired of it.
It's that good.
Does that reflect strangely on me?

"I'm happy, hope you're happy too
I've loved all I've needed to love
Sordid details following."
David Bowie

freezing rain

2006-02-17T00:32:58Z

Lousy day outside today.
It's amazing how the weather can affect your mood.

"You could never know what it's like
Your blood like winter freezes just like ice
And there's a cold lonely light that shines from you
You'll wind up like the wreck you hide behind that mask you use"
Elton John

"Frankly, my dear... I don't Riverdance... Give a damn..."

2006-02-12T00:37:41Z

What happened to the weather? It was so nice last month.

I love Britcoms and absurd, dry British humour.
Tuesday nights on BBC Canada are the best:
* The Kumars at No. 42
* I'm Alan Partridge
(which stars Steve Coogan from the film 24 Hour Party People)
* Father Ted

Oh my god, they're making Alan Partridge: The Movie!

"It hurts to even think of those days. The damage we do by the hopes that we raise."
Aimee Mann

tell me baby

2006-02-08T23:09:01Z

Aimee Mann. Mod Club Theatre. 6 February 2006.

Few live shows compare to hers. Her level of comfort with the audience is inspiring. Last time we all sang O Canada. This time she brought four audience members on stage to play percussion during "Frankenstein" and shook each of their hands afterward. Both times she called for requests during the first encore (and there were two encores). Her shows are never boring, always fresh, involve inter-song banter and rarely sound as they do on recordings. I will keep seeing her live as long as this brilliant singer-songwriter is still playing.

"Like a building that's been slated for blasting
I'm the proof that nothing is lasting
Counting to eleven as it collapses"
Aimee Mann

Jyllands-Posten cartoons

2006-02-03T02:00:07Z

The Danish newspaper Jyllands-Posten published these cartoons, which fall under free press and free speech laws in democratic and secular countries. Moderate members of different faiths living in such countries might respond to satires of their religions or religious leaders in essentially peaceful matters such as asking for a public apology, calling a press conference, etc. Fundamentalist members of the faith being ridiculed in these cartoons live in countries where there is no free press and free speech such as this would be punished with jail time, torture and even death. This is because the depiction of Muhammed the prophet is strictly prohibited in order to deter idolatry. I can respect this of Muslims, but it should not be expected of people of other faiths. Leaders of Arab countries have gone to extreme reactionary lengths in response to these cartoons: they have called for boycots of Danish products and services, they have recalled their embassadors to Denmark. The lives of Danish citizens, those living in Denmark, those visiting and those living in the Middle East have been endangered by bomb threats and the threat of other excessive reactionary violence.

I believe this situation has finally brought international scrutiny on the difference between forward thinking, secular countries and those that are backwards thinking and have not separated religion from state. Unfortunately, these Arab and Islamic countries (like Syria, Saudia Arabia & Libya) as well as their propagators do not seem to appreciate the irony of their simultaneous intolerance for free speech and for other religions.

Case in point:

Bell, Stewart and Kelly Patrick. "Controversial B.C. imam attacks Danish cartoons". National Post. 2 February 2006. Front page, A20.

"A Canadian imam investigated by police over allegations he had called Jews 'the brothers of the monkeys and the swine' is threatening to boycott Denmark over newspaper cartoons he says were intolerant of Muslims... 'The type of insensitivity and intolerance you continue to show is totally unacceptable,' he said in a letter sent to the newspaper's editor-in-chief in which he warns of 'punishment by God' and a boycott of Danish consumer products... 'We know what happened over the last week and how the brothers of the monkeys and the swine assassinated and murdered one of the heroes of Islam, the Sala al-Din of this day and age, Ahmad Yassin.' [part of Mr. Kathrada's recorded lectures]... Yesterday, Mr. Kathrada said he did not see a double standard in his complaining about intolerance toward Muslims because his remarks had been taken out of context."

I think he was pretty clear; there is no context that could excuse or explain away what Kathrada said.

For more information: European papers join Danish fray; New York Times (re-published in the International Herald Tribune).

here is the house where it all happens

2006-02-01T05:07:37Z

I can't believe we spent an hour and a half together in that greasy spoon.

Time just flew.

Making new connections.

I love that feeling.

"With or without words I'll confide everything."
Depeche Mode

she's a killer

2006-01-27T03:47:47Z

Retail is soul-crushing.

"To avoid complications she never kept the same address
In conversation she spoke just like a baroness"
Queen

beats per minute

2006-01-22T04:25:27Z

A guy almost sideswiped my car while simultaneously making a left hand turn, not looking at all where he was going and changing lanes without signalling. I honked and swerved. He shook his head at me. But he was in the wrong!

I wish for a place where the earth doesn't shake.
And if the earth won't be still, then I will.
Lisa Loeb

so indifferent

2006-01-21T00:30:42Z

Paul Weller. The Kool Haus. 22 September 2005.

It's like springtime outside today.
But it's still January.
I like it... but...
That's global warming for you.

"And every heartbeat, babe, is the soundtrack to your life."
Kylie Minogue

twinkle toes

2006-01-20T01:58:35Z

Fabulous fabulous.

There's just something about high heels that makes me feel so powerful & sexy! And pointy toes make me feel invincible, like, "I could totally poke your eyes out with these babies!"

I can't stop listening to Kylie Minogue. I love her! Shut up!

Why would anyone even THINK a bookstore would feature a PHOTOCOPIER??

:(

2006-01-16T05:05:05Z

Out of sheer morbid curiosity, I downloaded the "rap" single from Kevin Federline called "Popozão" and I seriously think it made my ears bleed a little. It made me feel like my brother looks in the above picture. But maybe with more tears.

And now I grace you with lyrics from Mr. Britney Spears' song entitled "Y'all Ain't Ready":
My prediction is that y'all are gonna hate
On the style we create, straight 2008
But I know that you really can't wait
Because people always askin' me
When's the release date?
Back then, they call me K-fed
But you can call me Daddy instead

That made me throw up in my mouth just the tiniest bit.
I'm so sorry.

model citizen

2006-01-15T08:10:51Z

A Mighty Wind never gets old! I can't wait for For Your Consideration.

You know who your good friends are when you almost always have something to talk about and when there are no awkward silences in between.

"Will you heal the scar that's on the years been wasted
The tears spent on the past, just filling spaces
Or is love forever gone, banished to a smaller part
Hide behind your wall and start to get to the very heart"
Paul Weller

disco fever

2006-01-13T04:18:06Z

Credit card bill arrived today.
I underestimated my potential to spend.
I knew I was good at shopping, but this good??

Word is milk. is putting on a Dimitri From Paris show at This Is London on February 10! That should be awesome.

"Clothes should always represent your vision of yourself... even if it's only for one night."
Miuccia Prada

"I am not holding a mirror to the world... Fashion is about fantasy."
Marc Jacobs

Shadows of ourselves

2006-01-11T22:54:53Z

Thievery Corporation. The Carlu. 18 May 2005.

Dear unnecessarily rude bitch customer: I am sorry that I was not aware that a different copy of the book that you bought mistakenly had a boxing week 30% off sticker on it and was removed while you weren't looking and you paid full price even though there really was no current discount anyway.

She gave Taylor and I a dirty look on the way out because we were not sympathetic.

"My friends are like, 'There's this new restaurant that's supposed to be really good,' and I'm like, 'Nah, I just want Taco Bell.'"
Rachel Bilson

Rachel Bilson, you are cool.

"Je n'ai pas le temps de perdre la tête ou nous sauver de nous même."
Thievery Corporation

inabsentia_ @ 2006-01-10T23:30:00

2006-01-11T04:50:22Z

Things are looking up.
Never had so much encouragement; she's pretty much my mentor.
I hope I keep these ties for a long time.
No matter where I end up.

Saw a beautiful dress today
-made in India
-several hundred years old
-dotted with iridescent green beatle carapaces

Who would have thought to use insects as embellishment on clothing?
Not I.

"Sometimes I think the music is the only hope we have for revolution."
Jamiroquai

passion

2006-01-09T04:44:14Z

Queen of procrastination is back again. Sadly.
Hoped I would get over that someday.
Got stuff done last minute anyhow.
Well not completely last minute.

"Everything counts in large amounts."
Depeche Mode

Free Association

2006-01-08T03:16:02Z

This terror-inspiring car/truck/monstrosity belongs to Nic's really scary neighbour whose lawn is littered with trash "art". It was too dark out to properly photograph the chicken-wire wheelchair-bound human-like figure.

Ocean's 12:
Not my choice.
More unnecessary than its predecessor, itself a remake.
Sad attempt at self-reflexiveness via Julia Roberts.
Only redeeming quality: Original soundtrack by David Holmes.

"We're too young to reason, too grown up to dream."
Bryan Ferry

Baby bird haiku

2006-01-06T23:21:32Z

So young, small, it was
Camouflaged against the road
Mangled by car wheels

This picture makes me sad.
First time I've seen a living thing killed before my eyes.
Catch 22: leave it on the road, it dies; pick it up and move it, mother will abandon it.

Today: Old man customer argues over a discount of a dollar. A dollar.

I hate Il Divo. If Oprah told people to jump off a bridge, would they do it?

"There are times when I feel I'd rather not be the one behind the wheel."
Depeche Mode