Query: Is there someone that you need killed, master?

I haven't had a computer in about a week. I'm using Sean's right now, which I hate. I just need my own computer. My mom's laptop also broke, which was my second choice. I mostly use my PDA at the moment. We just ordered a new motherboard for my computer, which hopefully will get here soon. I want to try installing it while having Charley help me on the phone, and Sean thinks that's laughable and that I'll blow up my computer.

I am in a royally pissy mood. I am PMSing big time and I want to strangle someone.

I got pulled over for the first time last night by a cop. I was really, really petrified when I saw those flashing lights, lol. I pulled over into a complex and he says, "License and registration, please." He said that he noticed I made an "improper u-turn" and then didn't using my turning signal. I apologized and he came back with a smile and handed me a warning. He said, "You can hang this up on your wall or whatever, just be careful. Do you need directions to anywhere?" lol. Lucky.

Lame attempt at poetry. These are all triolets.

Cat & Dog
Today I saw a small cat
Yesterday I saw a dog
Tomorrow I will see a bat
Today I saw a small cat
Next week I will see a mat
Then I will see a hog
Today I saw a small cat
Yesterday I saw a dog

Water on Desk
There is a bottle of water on my desk
A bright lamp shines in the corner
The grass outside is grotesque
There is a bottle of water on my desk
Pictures on the wall are Hitler-esque
If you don't speak Spanish you are a foreigner
There is a bottle of water on my desk
A bright lamp shines in the corner

Tall
The girl is sixty-four inches tall
She feels taller than the palm tree
It is easy to put your head in the sand, after all
The girl is sixty-four inches tall
It might sound tall but it is actually small
If you saw her, you would definitely see
The girl is sixty-four inches tall
She feels taller than the palm tree

Andrea
Andrea has two arms and a head
She no longer lives with her mom
We used to bake banana bread
Andrea has two arms and a head
She is not easily misled
We never went to the prom
Andrea has two arms and a head
She no longer lives with her mom

This week has been fucking crazy. Honestly, it's been like an emotional roller coaster. I actually can't wait for school to start on Monday so that I can get my mind off of all this. I think I've pretty much felt every emotion this week that you could possibly think of.

Anyone watch Welcome to the Parker? It's a show on Bravo about what goes on at The Parker, a five star hotel in Palm Springs, California. It is kind of interesting, yet I think at least 50% of it is rigged. Honestly, if the hotel is like they portray than I would never stay there. They treat their customers like garbage, even people like food critics and travel agents that are rating them and who don't have to pay for anything there. And what I don't understand is how they hire staff based on "personality," not experience. That's sweet and all, and maybe a good idea for a lower budget hotel. But for a five star hotel, I want good fucking service. I don't just want a nice personality, but I want to be served by staff who know what the fuck they're doing. That's what your paying tons of money for, right? The best service possible by some of the most experienced in the field?

Sean dragged me to Superbad today. I just hate movies like that. They bore and irritate me. It's such typical American comedy bullshit. I don't think I'm some kind of elitist about comedy, but really, it's just trash. I will admit though, that it was better than most of those kinds of movies. That's not saying that much though.

I think I'm going to Phone Tap by mom. It's this thing they do on Z-100/Y-100 where they play pranks on people on the phone. They're hilarious because people get so, so pissed off. My mom has this laptop that is actually owned by the university. She has it at home and that's fine, but technically it's just supposed to be used for work purposes. I use it all the time, and she's pretty much accepted that, but it still kind of irritates her to a degree and she gets extremely paranoid that I'm going to break it. So what I'm going to try to get the radio to do is call her pretending that they're a repair person from an electronics store. They're going to tell her that a soaking wet and completely busted laptop was brought in. They were going to repair it, but they found out it was actually owned by the university, thus they're going to have to get their permission to repair it. They'll get me on the phone, and I'll tell her that I took it to the pool while tanning and dropped it in. I'll act like I don't give a damn and go from there. It should be pretty damn hilarious if it actually gets done.

HAH! So my dad, whom I hate and never calls me, called me today and this is how the conversation went:

Dad: Hello?
Me: Dad?
Dad: Sorry, wrong number. [click]

Gotta love it.

I am lazy as hell lately. I know I have some mystery shops tomorrow, but I don't even know what they are. I have a fitness club shop I have to do soon. I take three personal training sessions. That should be interesting. My last personal trainer blew, so I hope this one has some interesting things to tell me.

I've lost nine pounds in the past week and a half. When I get serious about losing weight I can really do it. That's the only benefit of being nauseous as hell the past couple days - I have no appetite whatsoever. Except for ice cream. I had Baskin' Robbins today. Kids Scoop. 200ish calories. I plan on drinking Gatorade for lunch.

I found this girl that I used to work with in Missouri at Chili's. We were kind of friends, except she was a bitch who treated me like garbage. She was always feeling pity for me for everything, and she was the Chili's Hoe. She slept with almost every manager and half of the employees. All she ever wanted to do was brag about it to me. I was reading some of my old journal the other day, and I actually forgot a lot of the nasty things she did.

So now I find her on Facebook, and it's quite shocking. She is morbidly obese, as pale as a ghost, and still lives in that filthy little house. And as I recallll, she used to feel so much pity for me because I lived in a tiny apartment and didn't make much money. Oh, what a shame, what a shame.

I know I need to let go of the bitterness. But sometimes I find it fun. I suppose I also don't like to be pitied.

So I've been reading through some of my old online journals, and I am just shocked by how ridiculously immature I was in some of them. I'm not saying that I'm exactly a wise old woman now, but I didn't think I was that bad. Shit, why did Sean and Charley ever talk to me and want to be my friend? It really baffles me. Some of it is actually so embarrassing that I can't even read it. I just cringe and have to look away. I was selfish, immature, angsty, whiny...it was pretty awful. Of course a journal often seriously intensifies those qualities. I'm sure I sound more angsty on here than how I act in person.

But still. The good news is that a lot of it was rather enlightening. A lot of things that made no sense at the time appear crystal clear now. Not to mention, I was reminded of a lot of things that I completely forgot happened. That's not always a good thing, however. It's interesting to know though.

Hmm.

DAMNIT, I just hurt my finger. Here are the answers:

The Doors: Soul Kitchen
Led Zeppelin: Stairway to Heaven
Gerry Rafferty: Right Down the Line
Fleetwood Mac: Dreams
The Rolling Stones: Under My Thumb
Enigma: Sadeness Part I
Notorious BIG: Juicy
Fleetwood Mac: Go Your Own Way
The Beatles: While My Guitar Gently Weeps
Fleetwood Mac: Tusk
Prince: When Doves Cry
The Rolling Stones: Sympathy for the Devil
Fleetwood Mac: Big Love
Citizen Cope: Bullet and a Target
Tracy Chapman: Mountains 'O Things
Taylor Dane: Tell It To My Heart
Red Hot Chili Peppers: Dani California
Stevie Wonder: Part Time Lover

I became violently ill yesterday. I am so annoyed because Andrea and I had planned a "Girls Night Out." It's not something I do often (hell, actually NEVER), so I was excited. We were going to go to a British Pub and maybe the beach, and just do whatever for the day and all night. But at 2 in the morning while talking to Nicole, I started to feel queasy. I couldn't sleep and by 5 I was throwing up. Gross. I'm mostly better now, but disappointed. I haven't had a virus in ten years, and I happen to get one on a day where I actually had plans. Maybe I just wasn't meant to go that pub, huh?

My life is not very adventurous, and I plan to change that. I'm not sure what I'm going to do, but I'll think of something. I wish I had a friend to visit somewhere. The only long-distance friends I have are in England, and that's just too damn expensive. Well, I have some family in Illinois, but I don't know. I would love to go stay with Nicole, but she's not living in Orlando anymore. I kind of just want to take a backpack with a few things and go off somewhere for a couple weeks and see where it takes me. But soon school starts and there is no chance for that.

My head is THROBBING. It has been all day, even when I took a Vicodin.