| but at least i got my tupac wallet... |
[29 Aug 2008|06:57pm] |
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music |
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RIP snow fairy. |
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you know, its not like im never online. i always am. see, i dont work so im always home, but im always DOING something. whether or not thats "productive" is debatable. this entire week has consisted of riding my bike, call of duty, serious hangs with the other "unemployed", aka: other friends that are not on tour: cronin, jim and now, jordan who just got home from tour. throw in some steve kane and fruity and there you go. mix in a hot ass apartment that only spits out air conditioning in 10 minute increments, starbucks runs twice daily, hot dougs lunches and my new obsession with fixing bikes and you have my life in a nutshell.
but yes, i am online constantly. i have the ability to update 2...3...8 times a day. but i always feel inclined to update with something either: ridiculous, entertaining, funny, introspective or informative. when i dont have anything to say or tell, i usually dont, hence the days that pass sans update. i wont lie, i feel pressure to update you with the ongoings of my head and my life, but lately, nothing much has been going on in either of them.
ive washed my hands 16 times in the past 24 hours yet i still have grease under my nails... but my bike looks fucking sick. jim walked in the apartment yesterday and said, "oh look, you're THAT guy. what, are you going to start growing an ironic mustache now or something?" i said, "no, im an OG." see, ive been riding bikes consistently since... well, since the city of chicago decided to boot then smash (aka: sell at auction) my car. i live in the city where everything you could possibly want is within a 4 mile radius. the only time i need a car is to go out to the burbs (see: krispy kremes, olive garden) or when i tour, and then i usually rent one. ah, now im just babbling.
the real reason for this post though, is to tell you a depressing story:
so in my quest to find lush 'snow fairy' body wash, i stumbled upon a unsuspecting woman in madison, wisconsin who had a large bottle for sale on craigslist for $10, which she could easily have gotten $30+ for on ebay. anywho, i told her i would paypal her $15 if she shipped it to me, which she promptly did. yesterday, i ran upstairs to greet my maillady who loves the shit out of me. seriously. i opened the package, and there it was, all pink and smelling of candy-like medicine. i rushed to the shower and for the rest of the day, kept smelling my arms like they were scratch and sniff stickers.
this morning, i heard a crash in the bathroom. thinking it was probably fruity taking one of his mosh dumps, i went back to sleep. when i finally rolled out of bed today at an embarrassingly late hour, i walked into the bathroom to take my morning pee when i see it. my brand new, full bottle of snow fairy, BROKEN in the bottom of the tub. the little suction cup thingys that hold the shampoo caddy to the wall couldnt go their goddamn job and my $15 bottle of body wash (which was a DEAL, thank you very much) was all but down the drain. after all that searching and emailing and waiting... i wont lie to you and say that a small part of me didnt die.
speaking of depressing, cronin showed me this awesome site called garfield minus garfield.
nothing has been edited, all of the dialogue is from actual cartoons, only garfield has been taken out.
makes you wonder how much the author is projecting his depression and self-loathing into his character, john.
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| who'll stop the rain? |
[28 Aug 2008|11:37am] |
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creedence clearwater revival. |
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i have shin splints from trekking across campus in shoes that are no good for my feet. also, my car died yesterday in the target parking lot and i'm quite upset about this. AAA were total assholes to me about the whole thing, so i had to leave it there overnight and sleep at sam and sarah's place. i'm waiting for dan to come pick me up and bring me to class and i'm hoping someone will be able to bring me back to my car afterwards so i can try dealing with triple a again. i'm praying its just the battery, but i was told it could be the alternator or starter. this BLOWS.
i just want to get it fixed because i hate asking other people for rides. of all weeks for this to happen, it has to be the first week of classes when i can't miss one or i'll get dropped. just fucking peachy. i have teaching reading today 2-4:45, and then hopefully this car situation can get taken care of. let's hope so.
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| i never think anything's about me. |
[27 Aug 2008|07:01pm] |
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mood |
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 peaceful |
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i don't mean to offend.
i thought you didn't want me there.
i'm waiting for you to try.
i grew tired of it.
i often write to no one. you don't read this. that's what i'm thinking.
i've gotten used to being blatant.
if you sing this and make it known...
then i'll know we're friends...
"if you see her, say hello"
secret messages to encode...
makes life fun.
i feel like i can turn this entry into a song.
i have over 20 pages of lyrics.
i've decided that this is the path i chose.
i met alot of people. i've been alot of places.
i've learned alot of things. i've done alot of things.
i wouldn't change a thing.
and i've learned patience.
bc i know my life's been good.
i've been good.
i feel like i can turn anything into a song.
i feel like you should get to know me.
i'm a completely different person.
i met someone who i can fall in love with.
they have a good heart.
it reminds me of someone. there are always strings attatched but...
it would all be a waste if i never learned from my mistakes.
i'm learning to learn from my mistakes.
i'm learning from my mistakes.
<3i never meant no disrespect
peace to you
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| not an LJ cut in sight. |
[26 Aug 2008|04:48am] |
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- lets talk about how i fixed my toilet fruity broke while i was on tour. no, not with his massive dumps but with his chris farley like dexterity he handles everything with. he probably moshed, air drummed and loud-chewed through a dump then power-dove on the lever, which in turn, snapped in half. how these things happen? i dont know. you leave that kid alone in a room with a rock and 10 minutes later it'll somehow be broken. anywho, i fixed that mofucker because im a goddamn mechanical genius. switched out the innards of the toilet and made that shit all streamline.
- since i bought a new bike after last tour, i have been trying to give away my old broke down hooptie of a bike. its the one a friend stole for me so we covered it with stickers to camouflage. btw, i do not condone stealing bikes but hey man, 3 of mine have been stolen in my lifetime, circle of life, brah. go watch lion king, mufasa had to die... yes, i did just compare stealing bikes to the lion king, wut. well, since i cant give the thing away, i spent like 6 hours fixing it up. i wish i had taken before and after pics because this thing looks awesome and i can totally sell this thing for some loot now. but i think im actually keeping it as my winter bike because hey, chris has to get to the post office somehow during the winter with all of your book and necklace orders, right?
speaking of, check out my boo miss meghan mayhem getting sexy with one of my new produkts:
- so, england and scotland, im coming back around your rolling hills and sheep for another tour in october. check out the poster intern jen made for me:
- my radio show is on tonight. you know how it goes. me and whoever i can talk into hanging at the studio will be musing on the world and getting all high and mightly. feel free to call in and harass:
fearlessradio.com (click 'listen live')
you can IM or call LIVE during the show (7-10pm. central time) at: fearlessradio.com
AIM or yahooIM: fearlessradio00
phone: 312.224.8273.
the podcast is usually up almost immediately at: podcastfearless.com/dellife
- right now, this is the best song in the world:
The Gaslight Anthem "The '59 Sound"
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| finally, a livejournal post not about cfob. |
[25 Aug 2008|12:54am] |
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- anyone who says they dont like the new academy is record officially has no taste in my book. its like if someone told me they didnt like saving private ryan. everything that falls from your mouth henceforth instantly loses credibility. this goes for the gaslight anthem cd as well. holy fuck balls, its like cronin said, "i just expect everything to suck now." these are the exceptions.
- the black 'unbreakable' necklaces are sold out, although the pink are still available as are both in the 'two swear fingers'. get sexy.
- gheesling stopped by my apt today to put in her 15 minutes for the year. apparently her brother dan who is a current cast member on the show big brother 10 is doing well. i watched one episode when i stayed at her crib last month and i called how the season would play out, aaaaand ive been right so far. what can i say, when you watch as much crappy reality television as i do, you learn how these things go. i said he would be in the top 5, along with other prophecies that also came true. that being said, i love money is the best show on television. i cant believe 12 pack got tossed tonight, i was just starting to warm up to him despite the fact that hes an actual walking talking douchebag. i wanna make it with megan. just sayin.
- at 4am last night i had an in-depth conversation with a homeless dude on the corner of sheffield and belmont. he told me he sees the future and told me that i was a very positive person and that a lot of people have faith in me. he introduced me to more of his crew and showed me which ones to "take care of" if i see them on the street. he was kind of like their sober leader. he never asked me for money. but then he told me that the cubs would win the world series this year and that i should be as far south as i could get by 2012 because "major shit was going down" and he didnt want me to die. "texas or mexico." i just hope hes right about the cubs thing, that way i finally get to riot in the streets. only ill burn the cars of suburban cubs fans and steal their dave matthews cds to sell online. fuck, i need to be french, those fuckers riot all the damn time. i could go over there and totally throw rocks at cops. whats even more awesome is they riot to be lazy. which i back. "oui oui, we do not like to work more than 20 hours a week. we want the entire month of august off, merci beaucoup."
- but really, this entire post is about something serious. my love affair with the lush body wash 'snow fairy'. we met recently and found what we were looking for in each other. she gets to rub up on my balls and i get to smell like the amoxicillin you had to take when you were sick in like 3rd grade. much like romeo and juliet, we have to live apart because lush thinks its funny to only make her available to my balls for november and december... that, and that its $24 a bottle makes it a bit tough to swallow coming from a dude who only spends money on pizza and starbucks.
so, if anyone out there has any connections to help my balls smell like a pink fairy, hit a brotha up.
tru luv 4eva.
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| summer of movies part 1 |
[22 Aug 2008|11:10pm] |
this past summer (May to August) I have obtained the following films:
12 Angry Men
2001: A Space Odyssey
The 400 Blows
8 1/2
Ace Ventura: Pet Detective
Adam's Rib
Aguirre: The Wrath of God
Airplane!
Ali: Fear Eats the Soul
All the President's Men
Alphaville
American Graffiti
Annie Hall
Apocalypse Now
Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford
Au Hasard Balthazar
L'Avventura
Barry Lyndon
Bicycle Thieves
The Birth of a Nation
Blow-Up
Blue Velvet
Boogie Nights
Born on the Fourth of July
Breathless
The Bridge on the River Kwai
Broken Flowers
Chinatown
City Lights
Close Encounters of the 3rd Kind
The Conversation
Dawn of the Dead (re-bought since the other one broke)
Day for Night
Dead End
The Decalogue
The Discreet Charm of the Bourgeoisie
Do the Right Thing
Dog Day Afternoon
Double Indemnity
Eyes Wide Shut
Five Easy Pieces
Gates of Heaven
Go
The Good, the Bad and the Ugly
Grand Illusion
The Great Dictator
High And Low
Ikiru
In Cold Blood
In the Heat of the Night
The Insider
The Invisible Man
It Happened One Night
Its A Wonderful Life
Jaws
Jules and Jim
The Lady Vanishes
Last Temptation of Christ
Lawrence of Arabia
The Leopard
The Lost Weekend
M
Magnolia
The Man Who Wasnt There
Manhattan
Marty
Michael Clayton
Mon Oncle
Mr Smith Goes to Washington
Mystery Train
Ninotchka
One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest
Onibaba
Ordinary People
Paris je t'aime
Pee Wee's Big Adventure
Peeping Tom
Pierrot Le Fou
The Purple Rose of Cairo
Raging Bull
Ran
Rashomon
Rear Window
Requiem For A Dream
The Right Stuff
Rio Bravo
Rope
Rushmore
Saving Private Ryan
Secret Honor
Se7en
Seven Samurai
The Shop on Main Street
Short Cuts
Sleeper
The Sting
Strangers on a Train
Sunset Boulevard
Swing Time
The Third Man
This is Spinal Tap
Three Colors: Red
Tokyo Story
Touch of Evil
Traffic
Treasure of the Sierra Madre
Two Lane Blacktop
Umberto D
What's Up Doc?
White Heat
The Wild Bunch
Wild Strawberries
Witness for the Prosecution
You Can Count On Me
Z
Zelig
Zodiac
I've only watched about 37 of these this summer, so I still got a ways to go. Thank God I have time at school.
It's gonna be sweet when I have a netflix account
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| oh baby, don't hurt me. |
[22 Aug 2008|01:51pm] |
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 fabulous! |
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what is love -- haddaway |
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this has been a fantastic week, i must say. tuesday night was our hurricane-even-though-it-didn't-rain-at-all party. we finally put up the pole and there was a plethora of alcohol being drank. i had my first two 40s ever and it was positively glorious. also, i finally quit my job! oh man, it feels great to be free. i can enjoy the rest of my week without having to worry about going in to that hellhole. it's fabulous.
wednesday morning i got lunch and went to see pineapple express with my roommates. ahahah, that was definitely an interesting movie. ;] afterwards i went lingerie shopping with samalia and sarah to find something for sgammato's party. i found a cute black number for really cheap. i'm excited for saturday now.
yesterday i took it easy and watched a night at the roxbury for the first time. then i went to sam's and we made dan birthday cards. around 11 that night we decided we should probably dye our hair. hahah. nothing like waiting till the last minute. i now have really dark brown hair and i love it.
today has so far been spent picking up my parking permit and the only two books i need this semester. i'm waiting for sam to get out of work and then we're going to grab lunch and get our hair cut. finally, it's about time. my hair is getting out of control!
tonight is dan's birthday party, which should be a good time, and tomorrow night is sgammato's blacklight lingerie party. yeah, like i said, great week :D
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| a formal letter of apology. |
[22 Aug 2008|03:38am] |
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so i finally got off my ass and started working on my upcoming LJ book. its going to be more work than i expected. my goal is to write reflections on over 100 of my most significant entries over the past 5 years. its going to be a book within a book. one thing i have noticed is my recurring theme of self-deprecation. its that passive-aggressive behavior that so many of us use that is such a blatant sign of insecurity. reading over so many of my old passages, i get so upset with myself. its like, i want to shake myself and say, "dude, just own it."
like, how many times do i have to say, "well, im not a writer," despite the fact that i make a "living" by doing just that? i was thinking about this today while i was running. about how i feel the need to cover up, to backpedal and to avoid. but i am starting to see where it comes from. like, what if i had the balls to stand up and say,
"yes, yes i am a writer. i make my living by showing others that you wont die by exposing your flaws. by illustrating that we are not perfect, and thats okay. and that by recognizing this, it is the first step to make ourselves better and in the end, hopefully effect our little corner of the world in a positive way."
because see, if i did say that, if i OWNED those words, i would have to try... and what if i failed? i would be seen as a liar, fake, hypocrite or fraud. its the "aim low" course in life. if you aim low, no one ends up disappointed in you. it also ensures that you will never have to stick you neck out, never have to risk it all and never possibly look like a fool to anyone...
but it also means that the progress you make in life will either be minimal or without much glory.
this belittling is not only self-defeating, but its outright ridiculous because its fucking fake... because it is a fucking fact, i AM a writer. i write books and ive sold thousands of them. i am also aware millions of people attempt to make a living out of writing and most will never get that opportunity. i do. im extremely lucky and its about time i recognized that with my words and actions. because i see the hypocrisy in my words. how dare i have the audacity to stand on stages, write books and record my stories about self-reliance and strength and positivity if i turn around and instantly diminish the power of those stories by wallowing in my own helpless behavior.
im lying to you and worst of all, im lying to me.
at least i see this now. you know, it wont be something that changes overnight. hell, i wrote an entire book about how i dont see what some of you kids see. but you know what im realizing? it doesnt mean your faith isnt real. i see the physical manifestation of it when you continuously show your support. and thats fucking rad. and i know it is. and i owe it to you to be better.
so im sorry.
i apologize for every time i stood in front of you and wasnt 100%
i believe those words. these words. but its going to take a little time for those words to believe in me.
but im trying.
everyday im fucking trying.
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[21 Aug 2008|05:59pm] |
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live long and prosper
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| man oh man |
[20 Aug 2008|06:59pm] |
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I just found out today that a former coworker of mine when I did volunteer work died of fucking leukemia last week. He was only 20.
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[19 Aug 2008|02:38pm] |
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red hot chili peppers. |
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what a great horoscope for today:
Try not to let any obligations at home or at work keep you from having a good time right now. If you have a hard time deciding whether you feel more like staying at home and relaxing or going out and having some fun, you could always combine the two and try to have some fun around the house tonight.
and we will have some fun tonight. i think we're gonna try edward 40 hands. :) haha. AND, i'm going to call perkins in a little while and quit. they fucked me over enough this passed week, now it's my turn. karma is a bitch. i can't wait to be free.
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[18 Aug 2008|05:49pm] |
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 great! |
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finch's crazy shit. |
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bj is home and we're listening to music on our sick new stereo system. also, we have a fridge full of 21 40s. we seriously have more beer than food and juice. it's glorious. the extension should be here by 8:00 tonight and then we're gonna have ourselves a 10 foot stripper pole in the living room. score! i can't wait till the storm hits so we can have a wicked hurricane party at our place. :) all are welcome.
come on fay!
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| shipping. selling. weddings. hater-aide and buttcheeks. |
[18 Aug 2008|05:02am] |
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- so it looks like i wasnt very clear in my order directions on colors in my previous post. look, we all know im slightly retarded and i was all in a hurry to post it because i get all excitable about shit. if you couldnt figure out what you wanted, comment in my last post with the paypal name you ordered with and pink or black and ill make everything work out. necklaces and anything else you order from me will be in the mail by tuesday.
or if you're lazy, ill be at the fireworks! show in tinley park at mojoes on wednesday and if you see me, you can pick it up there... or just buy one off of me because you think that shit is awesome too.
- this weekend i was up in minnesota for my cousins wedding. weddings are what they are unless im delivering a speech, then they cross the line into awesome-worthy. although, the reception was surrounded by dolphin and shark tanks so that was cool too. massive tiger sharks just swimming around like its no big whup, i guess my cousin is that dude in the tank who feeds the sharks whatever it is that sharks eat. thats actually really cool as well.
- while scrounging around my room today, i found a few framed limited edition covers from my book. there were only 20 made and they are unfolded, hand numbered and signed. if you want one, shipping is gonna be rough cause its glass and i would have to pack that shit all nice so they'd be $25. if you want one, email me: deadxstop@aol.com. if not, you're probably into watching your dog hump pillows.
this is what it looks like, just add glass and a frame and my stupid name and numbers written all over the back:
 
- yo, if you havent heard the new academy record, get on it. preview it here fo free. i wont lie, i was a bit bummed on santi, i just felt it was misdirected and insincere, much like the panic! record, pretty oddful. not terrible, just forgettable and misrepresents the band. the new record feels like an academy record with singalongs like a mofucker. you know you love the shit out of a record when you put it on and immediately listen to it 4 or 5 more times and find yourself singing along to it at the end of the day.
i get so disappointed when bands think they can write hit songs without hooks. its called "pop" music, ding dongs. theres no such thing as a "hit pop song" without a hook... why do all these bands think they can write ripoff music and kids wont see through insincerity? i mean, you wanna be mars volta, shit, go ahead, sometimes i need boring and droning music to put me to sleep. but ill tell you this, if you're writing a fucking record that you want to actually SELL and have kids get stoked on, guess what? look out into the crowd... what are your fans waiting on? THE SING ALONG.
the above rant is NOT directed at TAI... but definitely at a majority of bands and panic! for putting out a half-hearted and boring attempt at a second record. its not called a sophomore slump for a reason guys.
buuuuut the new academy record takes the singalong on every damn song! i mean shit, for a dude who loves singing along, finger pointing and air-drumming more than anyone reading this, its like dunking my head in a clean and well manicured vagina.
umm, maybe a bit too far.
- anyone else hate the new sidekick update?
- so the other day i was gorilla gluing some things in my kitchen when i dripped a bit on the floor. it was late and i was all flustered because i wouldnt get this stuff to stick to what i needed it to. afterward, i laid in bed and felt my underwear all bunched up in my butt, so i tried pulling my underwear down and found they were glued to my buttcheek. i sat in the glue. i got up and pulled it off. no big deal, right? that was until i laid back down in bed and felt uncomfortable. i put my finger in my buttcrack and felt, that yes, i indeed... had glued my buttcheeks together. i freaked out and ran for a mirror in the bathroom. i managed to "fix" my butt but i definitely have glue residue in and on my butt from days ago.
thank vishnu you're not me.
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