current location: library
i have also become so good at mentally detaching myself from situations that i have done some major damage to myself. i used to regard this as a skill, a specialized tool that I had fashioned and become quite proud of. now i see all of the detriment and missed opportunity it has caused. it has caused some major damage to myself, which is all but lacking in official confirmation (come monday). presence of mind is what i have come to value and learn in the latter parts of 2007, and not a moment too soon.
i don't know about now. my head is really efficient with holding on to information and then just letting it go, dumping it off, as soon as it's not needed anymore. that is not what this education is supposed to do, snot what this $$$ is for. i don't like playing along like i remember all of the time. i'm writing this essay, looking into things i should have read throughout the semester, and it's very interesting. why didn't i engage in this? it's a bad taste in a dry mouth.
there was this old man poet i was talking to the other night, and he was comparing poetry to my major, journalism, and you know it sounded like screeching nails. but in a supple way. he said it was about facts and getting the information right. when have i ever been about that? i've never been one for words.
maybe this break is just what i need, or maybe i need a lot longer.