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Mar. 1st, 2009 | 01:05 pm
rather: cheesy. i can't help it.

Woke up to pitter pattering rain outside my window. With my eyes shut I pulled up the blinds. I lay there listening to the soft rain, reveling in the bright grey light. I picked up one of the books I'd fallen asleep next to and began to read. Several pages in the rain softened even more, distant and light, matching the mood for the snowfall recalled in the book. I paused to look at the bloated white sky and to my disbelief, it had cracked and billions of fat flurries fell furiously.

I love the white, the quiet and stillness of it all. It is timeless and I think I could live in it forever. Getting out in it and going anywhere is another story altogether. What is there to do but to watch it fall and cover the ground in a thick later winter blanket. Every time I look up from my book it's falling heavier, padding everything delicately. I could go all day without doing anything or saying a word to anyone. I've got my records, my books, the fresh frozen air drafting over the window sill. I'm perfectly content to sit here imprinting my mind with this sacred simple moment with myself and the snow.

Here is the song I'm listening to. It feels like it was written for this very moment.

control your mind my girl
and give your heart to one
for if you love all men
you'll be surely left with none

mom would understand the heaviness of this beautiful day. she would sit outside and sip tea with me, hold my hand with hers. her skin would be soft but slightly cracked. suicide still seems unimaginable, even after it's happened. i wake up in the middle of the night realizing it wasn't an accident, it was an impulse. there were no dramatics this time around, she didn't want to be saved, she didn't want her own family to find her lifeless body but rather leave that dirty work to the maid. it all fit so perfectly, shattered so cleanly and effortlessly for her. our memories of her are what keeps her spirit alive. she wanted nothing to do with any part of her being. how are we supposed to go on thinking of her?

cydne just got home and is extremely excited about the snow. my teary sadface must now be thrown down some big frozen hill before it all stops. time to sled.

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how's it going?

Feb. 16th, 2009 | 01:47 am
listen: here we go magic - fangela

wizard sings kenny loggins
wizard sings kenny loggins better than kenny loggins. the karate guy is to warn you of the malfunctioning window.

all the saints
matt, jim, titus. all the saints

titus is handsome; i am getting punched in the face.

what would we do without bruncheons.

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Feb. 10th, 2009 | 02:45 pm

the muzz. check out the reflection in her eye.

in the barn

more on the flickr. i've been uploading pretty frequently, maybe time to put a filter on myself. i'm enjoying it, anyway.

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Jan. 29th, 2009 | 12:25 am

ansar and the ovens

the squirrel

four times more photos on my flickr. i need more friends on there.

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Jan. 8th, 2009 | 01:25 pm
listen: animal collective - my girls


self, muzz's dressing room

mimosa hall

business matters
(where mother died, where her parents slept, where i grew up, where sally keeps bills)


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Jan. 2nd, 2009 | 03:45 pm

the beginning


second thoughts

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the smell of cigarettes in a hallway

Dec. 29th, 2008 | 02:33 pm

the smell of cigarettes in a hallway

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my little corner of the world

Dec. 29th, 2008 | 11:47 am
listen: lost

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uh oh, that digital slr!

Dec. 27th, 2008 | 05:34 pm
listen: Jeffrey Butzer - Valse

Well, my dreams came true and Santa brought me a Canon Rebel XSi for Chrimmuh. I am totally freaking ecstatic over it. We are still getting to know each other and I don't have any sort of photo editor on here but for the time being, I'm cool with being snap happy and flexing my photo muscles a bit. It's been a minute.

So, here is my flickr that I have started updating after over a year long hiatus, and here are some of the photos I posted from Christmas day. I definitely feel like an amateur but this camera is a dream.

To Grandmother's house we go...

With my brothers and Muzz in the nursing home. :[

The first of many self portraits to come.

I'm not sure how I will go about posting pictures on here. Either I will just post a few and hope people visit my flickr on occasion or I will lj cut cut cut cut cut. We shall see. HOOTY HOOOOOO!

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Digital slr help please!

Nov. 21st, 2008 | 03:32 pm

So I sold my point and shoot digital and now have enough money to buy a digital slr. FINALLY. I was pretty dead- set on getting a Canon 20d because they're quite affordable used, but then I heard good things about the Canon XSi/Xti, and Nikon D80. My price range really is about $500-$600 with a lens, and I'm pretty sure I won't be happy with just a kit lens. I would rather get a less expensive body and have a really nice lens but I have NO idea what kind to get.

Penny for your thoughts?

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