|
he has the right to live though he's ill-shaped
|
|
|
| |
[Oct. 13th, 2008|09:38 pm] |
Sometimes I wonder if everyone always feels the same way I do, and I'm being a melodramatic dick because they all know how to deal with it and hide it really well, while I cry in bed and wallow in self pity. Do I have such high expectations of what my life should be like that I'll never be satisfied with what I have?
I went home to visit this weekend and the only person who didn't piss me off was my Mom. Why is everyone having such a great time at university? Why is everyone making friends with the type of people they imagined themselves making friends with? Why am I going to see stupid foreign films and drinking at stupid award-winning coffee houses and attending stupid music festivals and doing all these stupid "cool" things when I just feel like a fake, typical, college loser all the while? Why don't I feel any less unhappy than I did when I was living at home? Why do I always cry? Why doesn't anybody else cry? Why do I always think of Sean and Mark when I'm trying to fall asleep at night? Why don't my sleeping pills work? Why do I still SELFISHLY feel like I somehow could have stopped Sean's suicide? AM I THAT SELF INVOLVED? Why don't I just let it go?
Why do my friends treat me like shit? Why do I treat the ones who don't like shit? Why do I get bored of boys so easily? Why do I feel euphoric some days while others it feels like there's a box over my head? A literal box. Sounds are muffled and the air is stuffy and I'm sweaty and it's hard to breathe. Why will I do anything just to be held by someone? And most importantly, why am I complaining all over the internet? I bet tomorrow I will feel fine and regret not just saving this for only me to see. I'm probably over tired from spending so long on the train back to Montreal. |
|
|
| |
[Oct. 13th, 2008|06:13 pm] |
oh lord, why do i feel like this all weekend
it's only saturday night once a week
but i feel like this all weekend, from thursday afternoon (i have no class fridays) to sunday afternoon
then i go "shit. shit shit, shit"
i know i have lots of work, and i try to start in advance, but i just sit there with pen in hand and hardly anything transfers to paper. millions of other things come of me trying to do projects for class (filling up pages of my sketchbook, facebook messages, updating my blog, sifting through flickr favorites, making a beef and cranberry sauce sandwich), but my projects being completed is hardly ever one of them
i'm going to start posting flickr favorites again (it's been a while)
i love looking through other people's favorites. i think people have started paying more attention to them lately (many similar flickr favorites posts on lj, even people taking a screenshot of their flickr favorites and posting it on their flickr), i guess as a new direction in curating (or maybe that's just how i see it)... i also think it's become a sort of honour system. i'm not going to lie, i got pretty excited^49493 when patrick tsai added some of my photos to his favorites
( 8-------------------> ) |
|
|
| |
[Oct. 13th, 2008|03:27 pm] |
 |
|
|
| |
[Oct. 13th, 2008|02:44 pm] |
Because I love looking at ![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) apparatuses's flickr favorite posts so much:
( summ faves ) |
|
|
| |
[Oct. 13th, 2008|09:03 pm] |
 |
|
|
| памагите! |
[Oct. 13th, 2008|08:57 pm] |
как такое может быть и как с этим побороться?
интернет нормальный
можно скачивать файлы
но нельзя ничего выложить
в почте на mail.ru файл не прикрепляется
на фтп не выкладывается
короче комп вообще ничего не отдаёт
компьютерные гении памагитеее!!! |
|
|
| |
[Oct. 13th, 2008|03:48 pm] |
шьющие девочки, посоветуйте простенькую и не дорогую швейную машинку,
очень хочу вспомнить детство. и надеюсь, что у меня повится хобби по-круче,
чем пленочная мыльница. вдохновилась вот этой милой девушкой и ее майкой
 |
|
|
| |
[Oct. 13th, 2008|12:04 pm] |
  Viktor Klimenko as "Semenski" in the "Sauna" |
|
|
| |
[Oct. 13th, 2008|12:10 pm] |
|
|
|
|
| week end film post |
[Oct. 13th, 2008|12:19 am] |
figured i'd keep the "other game" going around here...
i'm probably in the minority for thinking burn after reading (coens, 2008 definitely see it) is the best coen brothers film in years (haven't seen the flops though, honestly). its slightness works to its advantage, imo. the way the ending mirrors no country for old men makes their overall agenda a bit easier to swallow... suffice to say i don't think the coens are the right fit to cormac mc carthy's mataphysical fatalism. they like to laugh too much. accordingly, i saw this as a "king of comedy" to no country's "taxi driver"... it has the same hateful charm as the big lebowski, but felt much weightier as a social critique. it could simply be the timing-- frances mc dormand syncs up nicely with the sarah palins of the universe, and its government bureaucracy of indifferent buffons is all too familiar. plus john malkovich is hilarious, and the coens deliver the biggest laugh of their careers (for me) via a really juvenile gag pertaining to george clooney. i like how the ending kinda hurts.
persepolis (marjane satrapi, vincent parronaud, 2008 see it) was kinda disappointing considering the film-able quality of the graphic novels, but it's still a good time. the animation looks great, and the story is solid enough to prevent its broadness from being a deal-breaker... but am i the only one that found this needlessly dumbed down? some of my favorite characters were merely footnotes, and an awful lot of the history is swept aside... it felt heavily edited to me. there's even a mikhail bakuhnin joke (i think?) that would only make sense if you read the comics. i kinda wish they had just adapted one volume and spent more time with it. but i'm still glad this film exists.
french cancan (jean renoir, 1954 definitely see it) kinda reminded me of wes anderson, of all things. like anderson's recent stuff (especially the darjeeling limited, which is better than its reputation), this is a visual treat with an eroding, semi-tragic narrative that ends up feeling light-hearted on account of its likeable characters. as usual, renoir's affection for everyone/thing involved makes its darkest moments nearly invisible. the touch is so light that i hardly even noticed when the main character categorically rejects the one guy who's unambiguously decent to her, to pursue a life that is repeatedly revealed to be tragic and superficial. but it's not a sad film, in the end... all the characters end up liking one another almost in spite of themselves. i can't say i blame them.
the inglorious bastards (enzo g. castellari, 1978 see it) is a likeable z-grade dirty dozen knockoff with some truly crappy-looking action sequences. but the story moves along nicely and even has a few surprises. like french cancan-- of all things-- all the characters end up being strikingly likeable for a movie about fighting the nazis (or, more specifically, saying "the hell with the nazis" and high-tailin' it to switzerland). it'll be interesting to see what tarantino does with this... it sounds like his in-production-semi-remake will be much different. i hope the rumors about steve guttenberg making an appearance end up true?
be kind rewind (michel gondry, 2008 see it) is all over the place, doesn't make a lick of sense, and is occasionally scarred by jack black's mugging. but it's still loads of fun once you get past the initial 20 minute send-up. i think the more mainstream format works well enough for gondry, and there's some endearing chemistry between danny glover and a tragically botox-y mia farrow, who is still kind adorable.
what are you guys watching? |
|
|
| please vote for me? and then imagine i have kissed you on the cheek to say thankyou. |
[Oct. 13th, 2008|02:54 pm] |
(click that and then press vote on the right side of the page.)
xoxox |
|
|
| Pogo In Togo: Noveller, Electric Tickle Machine, Jordan, Glossy Wheel, Miami Beach |
[Oct. 12th, 2008|10:18 pm] |
new flickr set, flick it please |
|
|
| Butthead Enthroned |
[Oct. 12th, 2008|09:47 pm] |
 |
|
|
| cha cha cha! |
[Oct. 13th, 2008|12:21 pm] |
i havent had photoshop for over a month, so here is a collection of images.
this is what ive been making in little pink walled bedroom.
( scissor paper rock )
</div> |
|
|
| |
[Oct. 12th, 2008|07:39 pm] |
|
because it's school now i never see emily and i miss her and i have no friends, and patrick has a thing for a girl in his history class who he says reminds him of me and it's depressing and he says he doesn't want to leave me yet but what does that even mean and last night we went in the woods after dark and stood near this waterfall and patrick was drunk and i was unnerved and i wish i was there now and there was a spider on my ceiling but it crawled away like everything and i have been too intoxicated and my dad gave me an amazing pipe and i am moving out soon and my hair is normal and i don't talk to farah anymore and i haven't done any homework in weeks, and i spilt cranberry juice on my desk and forgot to clean it up, and i told myself that if that spider crawled away i would die. |
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| [ |
go |
| |
earlier |
] |
| |
|
|
( 
