|Oh my love for the first time in my life, my eyes are open
||[Sep. 30th, 2009|01:19 am]
I was remembering how misunderstood I felt in the beginning. How I wanted everything to be perfect right away. And once we took a little time apart.. to collect our thoughts & feelings, and experience how dull and empty our lives felt without each other.. we knew that we were better people for having had each others company.
I got fired from my job (Starbucks), and at the height of my realization that I needed him in my life.. he needed to take a step back to sort things out and deal with other issues. Confused and afraid, I practically ran away. The trip wouldn't have been so monotone if she hadn't flipped out and kicked me out of her apartment. It was a healthy time apart. Being in my absolute favorite place, L.A.. my zen.. and still feeling empty.. I knew that he needed to remain in my life for me to feel whole again. There were things that I wanted to fix... things that, if given the chance, I would have done differently. And after a lengthy long-distance phone call home, I knew that he felt the same and wanted to give it another go. That phone call.... was the happiest moment (aside from runner up moment - over-the-night road trip to Vegas) of my entire "vacation". And even if everything else in my life was falling apart, he was enough to keep me focused, grounded, loved, determined, happy, appreciative, honest, and caring.
After what felt like a month, I was home. It had been the 1st and only time that I was happy to leave L.A. because I knew I had something much better waiting for me in Florida.
It was a slow and steady merge back into our comfortableness with each other, even though we declared our love for one another almost instantly. I got a job promoting and serving shots for Christian Melo- the scumbag club promoter of the area (though i didn't it at the time lol). I applied all over the place. Before I knew it, everything had become back to normal (and 10x's better than it ever was) with my boyfriend. Time seemed to jet fast forward in the next month or so - even though it seemed to completely stand still when I was in his arms. I left Melo to work for Off The Hookah. I've been there 2 nights a week ever since. I also got hired (finally) at the FAU Starbucks, owned by Chartwells. And, in present day, I can thankfully say that my feelings for Eddie are so solid and so different than any love I've ever known.
And I remember in the beginning, when I used to worry, and it almost seems humorous now.. because this is the most understood and the most comfortable I have ever been with a single person. And yet, there is still even more to do, more to experience together, and learn about each other. It is a self-less love, and I am so appreciative for it. It makes me stronger. It helps me get through the day. And it keeps me level-headed when times are rough. I don't know how I got so lucky. And yet, I'll bet he'd say the same about himself. :)
2.5 weeks until our 6 month anniversary :D