Kris's Journal

Mon, 30 Oct 2006 00:38:51 GMT

Title: With Love
Warnings: Death
Summary: They let him burn to death, flames licking his body as his lungs were scorched by the smoke...
Notes: his was really hard for me to write becuase it's based on a true story. Two nights ago my friend died in a fire, as well as her sister. I felt I had to write this, as I sort of goodbye to her. I hope you like it.

Sirens blared. Smoke blew high. The bright flames blinded me as I watched the building burn to the ground. They told me he was out. They told me he was ok. They lied to me.

The firemen didn’t save him; they let him burn to death, flames licking his body as his lungs were scorched by the smoke. The only thing I can hope for him was that it was quick, that it was in his sleep.

The tears were falling down my face as my best friend hugged me to him. He didn’t understand. No one would. I was numb, blind to all that was going on around me. All I could think of was his charred body, lying there helplessly as the building crumbled around him.

It started with a simple phone call. Except it wasn’t simple at all. It was Billy and it was 2 in the morning. He told me to get to Benji’s, right away. As fast as I could. It was a cold night. I jumped out of bed, not bothering to put anything else on. I drove the 10 minutes to Benji’s, which is where I stood, in nothing but boxers and a light sweatshirt. I vaguely remember fighting with a fireman to get into the building…

”I have to save him! I have to get Benji! Let me GO!”

Then Billy showed up and gently took me to the side.

Why is no one helping him?! Why is he still IN THERE?!

I’ve given up on trying. I know he’s dead. I know it’s over. But I don’t want to believe it.

The love of my life is gone.

There’s a crowd now. Of people that didn’t even know him. They just want to stare. Nosy fuckers. My love, my best friend, is smoldering in there, and they are staring.

I just don’t know what to feel, what to think. What to do. How can I survive without him?

I just dropped him off 3 hours ago. We went for dinner, I asked him to marry me.

”Wow, just, wow Benji! Of course I will!”

I was so happy. He was so happy. I walked him to his door and kissed him goodnight.

Now this.

When I first met him I thought he was the most beautiful, elegant man I had ever seen. No, I knew he was. His eyes were so vibrant. The way he walked, so graceful, and as if he knew you were watching. I loved everything about him. I don’t want this to be true. But it is. I know it is. Because I’ve never had a dream so vivid, so tragic.
In the words of The Spill Canvas, “Fate is an elegant, cold-hearted whore…”

I forgot Billy was holding me. He was holding me tighter, talking to me. I couldn’t hear him.

I don’t want to see Benji when they bring his body out. I want to remember the beauty that was him.

And all I could think was….

He said yes…

I suck, I know, took forever...

Wed, 26 Jul 2006 00:46:59 GMT

Title: In My Dreams It's Me and You
Pairing: Bert / Mikey
Summary: I just started walking, everywhere and anywhere, occasionally snapping pictures. I wasn’t watching where I was going at the moment, I was switching to a 50mm lens and I walked right into someone.
Dedications: Kendra cause she has been waiting so patiently and I still owe her a B-day fic so it will be coming soon hun!
Past Chapters:

Chapter 1
Chapter 2

I watched at the dark pop spluttered out of Mikey’s nose. It was hilarious and it made me laugh harder. I was already laughing enough! We were just sitting on his bed joking around. Apparently he thinks I’m funny… weird.

“Oh my God, Oh my God, wow hahahah!” he was still laughing. I’m beginning to think he has issues. Possibly. But he’s so cute, so who cares, right? “So, um, anyways…” he looked embarrassed again.

I had to laugh a little at the blush crawling it’s way up to his hairline. “Yeah. So I think—”

“MIKEY!” someone burst through the door screaming.

“Gerard! What are you doing here?” He seemed pretty excited as he hugged his brother.

So that’s the brother he told me about. He’s cute. Hot, actually. He looked at me curiously then smiled.

“Hi! I’m Gerard, are you a friend of Mikey’s?” I nodded. “Aww Mikey! I’m so happy for you!” At this, Mikey blushed so hard. It was adorable. “Oops, sorry Mike…”

“I’m Bert, nice to meet you,” I put on a fake smile and shook his hand. I really hate meeting new people. An awkward silence enveloped the room.

“So um, I’m going to go talk to mom, see you later Mikey. Bye Bert, it was nice meeting you!” Then he left. Thank God. Sorry that sounds rude but that was just weird.

“Bert? I have a question for you, if you don’t mind?” he seemed shy again. I thought we were over this!

“Sure Mikes, what is it?” Mikes. That came out of nowhere.

“Mikes. That’s what Gerard calls me.” He had a light smile on his face. “Um, anyways, my question. Are you… um, gay? I mean, sorry if that sounds rude or offends you but I was just wondering and I don’t want to make you hate me already and I really like you and it would be really cool if you were gay too, I mean if you even liked me which you wouldn’t even if you were gay, but I was just—” I interrupted his rambling by putting my finger against his lips. Him rambling was the cutest thing ever but I want to get a word in here.

“I am gay. But my mom doesn’t know. I don’t know how she would take it. So don’t tell anyone. Please?” He nodded and smiled.

“Gerard was the only one that knew, and now you know. I really like you, Bert. I know we just met and all but I think you’re really sweet and cool. Not to mention gorgeous.” He seemed to have thought he said too much cause he blushed and shut up.

“I think I like you too,” I told him quietly. His face lit right up.

Gerard’s POV

That was so cute! I was about to go back into Mikey’s room to ask if Bert wanted to stay for dinner and I overheard their bashful conversation. Kids are so cute!

I’m so happy for Mikey, his first boyfriend!

Normal POV

“Mike?” Gerard was knocking on the door.

“Come on in Gee.”

“Does Bert want to stay for dinner?” he looked right at me.

“I would really love to but I can’t, I really should be getting home now.” Gerard nodded and Mikey looked kind of sad. He walked me home. He even held my hand. It made me giddy. Way to sound girly, McCracken.

“I had fun,” I said when we got to my door. What an idiot! I had fun? That’s what all the chick flicks say! Fucking retard!

“Me too, really. Want to hang out tomorrow? Maybe if you aren’t busy?”

“Sure!” I think I said that too eagerly and too quickly. Mikey laughed though, but not like he was laughing at me. So it was ok. “Can I kiss you?” I whispered, I was surprised he heard me. But he nodded. I slowly leaned in and placed my lips against his. It was perfect. Well, until my mom slammed the door open.

A/N: Sorry this took so damn long. I was busy with final exams, then I went camping for two weeks then when I got home I got a new job so I have been left with barely any free time! I miss writing :(

Sat, 27 May 2006 03:52:58 GMT

Title: In My Dreams It's Me and You
Pairing: Bert / Mikey
Summary: I just started walking, everywhere and anywhere, occasionally snapping pictures. I wasn’t watching where I was going at the moment, I was switching to a 50mm lens and I walked right into someone.
Dedications: Anyone that reviewed on the last part.
Past Chapter

Chapter 1

This kid followed me as I walked, asking me annoying questions. Then we ended up at his house, and since he was following me, I had no clue how it happened. “Come in?” he seems pretty uneasy.

I was hesitant. “Sure,” was what I heard myself saying. Even he was shocked I agreed. I slowly followed him up the path to the small house, nervous as ever. I'm not used to being around people anymore. After my dad died I kind of keep to myself.

“Ma? I’m home! I brought a friend,” Mikey called as we walked in to a room I assumed was his bedroom.

“I really am sorry about your camera, I’ll get you a new one,” he said, looking down.

“It wasn’t the camera really, it was the sentimental value of it,” my quiet voice muttered.

“Dude, that makes me feel even worse!” he hid his face in his hands.

“Sorry,” why was I apologizing? For making him feel bad?

“Why are you apologizing?” he was confused too.

“It isn’t your fault it broke, neither of us were watching where we were going,” I gave him a small smile. It was the biggest one I could muster.

“I still feel terrible,” he still wouldn’t look at me.

“Don’t worry about it,” I was lying. He should worry about it. I miss my camera already. I just got a new lens and everything, 55mm!

“Um… you want to go to the movies or something? It’s really boring here,” he suggested.

“We can make it fun!” Who was this person talking? I don’t sound like that, I’m not that happy. I don’t talk to people.

“Ok, like what?”

“Got any good music?” I got up and walked to where he told me his CD’s were. “I really love this album,” I put in Genesis’s self-titled album of 1983. The kid has good taste. Phil Collins is classic.

“Me too, Phil Collins as a genius,” Mikey said.

I smiled, looks like me and the kid have some things in common. Maybe we could be friends?

“Have any siblings?” This time I asked a question, a nice change from him asking.

“An older brother, Gerard, but he’s in University. Do you?”

“Nope, it’s just me. It gets really lonely but I deal with it.” Why was I telling him I get lonely?

“I know what being lonely feels like. I moved here at the beginning of last month and still haven’t made any friends. People think I'm a geek,” he blushed a little as he told me this.

“I don’t have any friends anymore.”

“Anymore? What do you mean?”

“Well when my dad died I stopped going anywhere, doing anything. So my friends stopped being my friends,” I have never confessed so much to anybody, especially in such a short amount of time.

“I'm sorry,” I'm not sure what he was sorry for, my dad or my friends, but I nodded all the same.

I looked into his eyes. They’re beautiful. He’s beautiful. I wonder if he’s gay too?

I tried to make it longer than the last, sorry it took so long. I hope you like it! Comments=Bert and Mikey action

Sun, 30 Apr 2006 16:02:53 GMT

Tue, 25 Apr 2006 03:08:51 GMT

Tue, 18 Apr 2006 02:25:12 GMT

What does Simple plan really think about you? by TGriot182
Name
Age
Favorite Color
Favorite Song
Pierre thinks...	you can sing better then him
Seb thinks...	you wanna fuck jeff
Dahvid thinks...	your hot
Chuck thinks...	your hot
Jeff thinks...	you'd be good in bed

Quiz created with MemeGen!

Mon, 10 Apr 2006 22:15:08 GMT

I thought this was funny, so I had to post it here haha

If I were a [feminine] gay man... by 38886
Your name
Your Gay Man Name	Phillipe
Your Gay Man Occupation	Pop Icon
Your Stereotypical Gay Man Trait	Long fake nails
Your Gay Man Music of Choice	Nine Inch Nails
Your Gay Man Cause of Death	AIDS - typical

Quiz created with MemeGen!

Mon, 10 Apr 2006 12:00:28 GMT

Title: Lies
Pairing: Sonny Moore x Bert McCracken
Summary: The new freshman. The fresh bait. Bert had to be the first to corrupt him. No matter how many lies it took or how much effort it took. He would have the new kid.
Prompt: #11: Lies, for move_on_slash12, go join.

I was in Civics when the new kid arrived. They sat him on the other side of the room, so I couldn’t get a good look at him. The only think I knew was that he had semi-long black hair and wore baggy clothes. I spent most of the class trying to get a good look at him. It isn’t like I needed to pay attention. Municipal government, blah blah, democracy, autocracy. Same old crap as every other day. It really is a pointless class. Except for when we have debates. I am the master debater. I swear.

So I wasted the whole period, the bell shook my out of my trance like state. But unfortunately, I didn’t see the boy for the rest of the day. Not even at lunchtime. I was already developing a weird obsession with him and I don't know his name, what he looks like, anything. I guess I’ll just have to find out some more stuff about him. I saw him walking home from school. I didn’t talk to him. I followed him. I watched him walk into a little bungalow with a bright yellow door. Come on, who paints their door yellow when you have a gray brick house?

I waited awhile to see if he would come back out but no one entered or left. So I went home, dropping onto my living room couch. My mom was in the kitchen, probably being the perfect homemaker mother she is and baking cookies or something. Maybe even milking a cow so we can have fresh milk with our cookies. Who knows? She doesn’t notice me coming in. Oh, what do you know? It isn’t cookies, it’s brownies. So I was wrong. I was close! But they do smell good. So I get up and make my way to the kitchen. My mother kisses me on the cheek and asks me how my day was. Fuck off. I shrug, telling her it was same old, same old. And I take a brownie. She sits at the table with me, obviously wanting to talk to me about my day or her day or some shit.

I force a smile and ask her if she had a productive day. Wonderful, this is the one question I try to avoid. She talks forever when I ask her that.

Oh I vacuumed your father’s study…

Did all the dirty laundry and put it away…

Did some ironing…

Damn it, is she almost done? I just tune her out and she doesn’t notice the difference if I nod every now and then, smiling and looking at face. She finally tells me to go wash up while she prepares dinner. And I'm free!

But I don't ‘wash up’ like she asked. I sit on my bed and think about the new kid. I get through the rest of the night in a daze.

I will talk to him. Tomorrow. That was the last though that made it’s way into my mind before I passed out for the night.

~~~~

Quinn tries to talk to me as I walk into the school today. I just roll my eyes and ignore him. God, I fuck him once and he thinks I like him. Whatever.

I go to class early to see if he’s there.

Ding, ding, ding!

I got and sit beside him, saying hello. He looks at me, saying nothing. But he nods.

I ask him his name.

Sonny, he says.

I smile and ask him about where he moved from, if he has any siblings, crap like that. Crap I couldn’t care less about. He seems to warm up to me a bit. I ask him to have lunch with me.

Sure.

So I tell him to meet me at the cafeteria doors, then go to my regular seat as the bell rings.

More crap about democracies and referendums… like I care.

So I stare at Sonny again. When the teacher asks me a question I answer it correctly. I listen subconsciously, but it still surprises me that I always get it right when teachers ask me crap. The teacher seems shocked too. He just wanted to center me out. Didn’t work, fucker.

I meet Sonny at lunch and we find a table. Quinn tried to talk to me again. I told him I would call him later. He nodded and happily went on his way. What an idiot, he’s never given me his number.

Sonny likes to sing.

He likes to draw.

He likes boys.

Me too, I told him. He smiled and blushed a little. I told him he was cute.

Thanks, another blush.

~~~~

I asked him out, he said yes. Of course he did. I bullshit my way into everything, I told him I wanted to go out as friends first. He agreed. We’re going to a local show in the park downtown. The band is horrible. I knew that when I asked him.

So I picked him up at 6:30. He looked gorgeous, of course. He was hot.

He liked the horrible band. He has horrible taste in music. He listens to The Smiths; of course he has bad taste.

When I walked him to his door a few hours later I gave him a hug. And a kiss on the cheek. Man, he blushes a lot. I asked him out, on a real date this time. He agreed again.

~~~~

So here I am, sitting on my living room couch, the scent of freshly back muffins in the air.

Sonny is at home. I got him, like I wanted. And now I’m done with him. I told him I wanted to date him, be his boyfriend. He said yes, we fucked, I left.

He asked me to stay.

Sorry, I got what I wanted, bye.

What? You used me? He was going to cry, I could tell.

Of course, what else would I want you for? I was smiling.

I thought you liked me? Now he was crying, lots of tears that I caused. Satisfaction washed over me.

This was my favorite part.

Bye Sonny, see you in Civics. And I left.

I told him all the lies I needed to get him into bed. Like I did with Quinn. That’s what I do; lie to get virgin guys to sleep with me. Then leave them crying. Sick? Twisted? Disgusting? Maybe.

What the fuck do I care?

Tue, 04 Apr 2006 00:11:43 GMT

Yay! New layout on my personal journal. The other one was ugly and boring so yay a new one! I didn't make it myself.. that's next. This was a premade one with some personal touches ^^. Anyone that sees this and was reading Saved, it is on hiatus for the time being. Sorry.

Thu, 30 Mar 2006 03:20:09 GMT

Title: Sunrises
Pairing:Chuck Comeau x Sonny Moore
Prompt Number: #031
Summary:For the first time in 3 years, we watched the sunrise together without being close. For the first time, we were mad at each other during this sacred time together.

My Table

For slash_100

Sunrise

“Come on! We’re going to miss the sunrise!”

“I'm coming, hold on!” man this kid is impatient.

I get to the door that he is waiting at, not very kindly might I add. Foot tapping furiously and a scowl across his face. I gave him an apologetic look as I slipped my shoes on. He rushed me out the door and across the road to the sandy quarter known as the beach.

“You are so lucky is hasn’t started yet,” he threw me another glare; as if this was a movie he had been waiting forever to see. Right. There’s a sunrise every day, it isn’t like a solstice or anything.

“Oh hush, it’s just a sunrise!” I immediately regretted saying that. It’s as if I heard his heart shatter and watched his eyes turning black. I should definitely not have said that.

“Just a sunrise? Fine, if it’s just a sunrise we can leave! It isn’t like this is a big deal or anything!” now comes the drama.

“I- I didn’t mean that,” I was actually dumfounded at my own stupidity. That hasn’t happened before.

“Yes you did, don’t try to take it back now. This doesn’t mean as much to you as it does to me, so why bother?” he narrowed his eyes at me. That’s never a good sign with Chuck.

“I love doing this with you Chuck! I swear, please say you believe me,” I nearly begged him. He shook his head and flopped onto the sand.

“I don't know! This is the only time we ever get a chance to be ourselves, live in our own world. Why doesn’t it mean anything to you?” fuck. I really screwed up this time.

“Baby please, it means so much to me, more than you could even know, when we’re here together. I hate that we have to be apart all the time. I hate that we live in two separate worlds. I hate it. But I love you so much that I suck it up and deal with it, knowing I’ll see you here again in due time,” I tried to hug him but he moved away from me. I can’t say that didn’t hurt.

For the first time in 3 years, we watched the sunrise together without being close. For the first time, we were mad at each other during this sacred time together. Who knows when we will get to be here again?

We haven’t spoken in what seems like ages. It’s been almost an hour.

“Sonny?” I say softly, he doesn’t move though. “Talk to me?”

“I have nothing to say to you Chuck.”

“I'm sorry. I love you so much; I can’t live without knowing we still have this. Knowing that I’ll never watch a sunrise with you again.” I swear I'm going to cry.

“You just don't understand Chuck! I want more than watching a sunrise once a month, more than what we have now. Why can’t we be together?” he was on his feet now, tears on his cheeks.

“We live in two different worlds Sonny, it couldn’t work,” I tried to reason, but even I know I wanted the same.

“You know that isn’t what you want, you know you want it too,” he said, much softer this time.

“Do you think… think that it would work?” I was hesitant.

He sighed and sat beside me. This time he put his head on my shoulder, I had to smile.

“If we try. It will be hard sometimes babe, but it can work. Our love is strong enough,” he kissed me softly on the side of my mouth.

So with the promise of being together for the world to see, we watched the rest of the sunrise.

This particular sunrise was special. It marked our 3 year anniversary. It was going to be different now. It was going to be better, I know it.

Hope you like it, reviews are love and cookies.

Tue, 21 Mar 2006 13:10:47 GMT

Your Name: Kristina
Pairing: Sonny Moore/Bert McCracken
Genre: Angst then fluff (Is that a genre?)

Sat, 18 Mar 2006 04:22:09 GMT

Title: Saved

Summary: Joel is having trouble in his life, his girlfriend got pregnant and the baby isn’t his, then she had an abortion. His parents disowned him because he dumped her and also because he is bisexual. He used to be a great believer in God, but these past 2 months have him questioning everything he’s ever believed in. Joel abandoned his beliefs and despises God for what he has done to him. He came to the conclusion that there is no God out there, because God would never let this happen.
******
Benji is an Angel of God and has worked many cases before. He has never gotten too involved or emotionally attached; he has never had a situation like this to deal with before. He has the help of Billy Martin, his partner in case working. Billy has been a caseworker for much longer than Benji, so he is of great assistance. Benji and Billy are assigned to Joel’s case, to help him see the light.

Pairing: Joel Madden x Benji Madden

A/N: Based on the show ‘Touched by an Angel’. This is not meant to offend any religious beliefs, I apologize if it does. Constructive criticism welcomed and encouraged!

Chapter: 2/?
Previous: |Chapter 1|

So I had posted Chapter 2 before, but I deleted it. It was really bad. I hope this one is at least a little better, I rewrote the whole chapter. Hopefully it will be better from now on. Constructive criticism is greatly appreciated. Don't just bitch at me please, tell me what needs to be changed or what parts are especially bad. Thanks! I want to thank savemeforlast cause she really helped me with fixing stuff up. I also want to thank my Beta, tachiri cause she rocks.

Ok, here it is!

Full day at work today. My lead actor threatened to quit, my secretary went home sick so my phone was ringing off the hook all day, and on top of that, I feel like shit.

When I finally get home from work, I feel like I can breathe again. I feel like I can let out my emotions. I’ve been putting up a front all day, all week. I need an outlet, an escape. But I just sit on my couch and cry.

Damn.

*****

Right now I'm lying on my hotel bed, staring at the ceiling. I'm getting a horrible sense of déjà vu. Joel reminds me so much of myself when I was 18. I was hopeless and hooked on drugs. I didn’t have the best home life, so I found an outlet. Probably not the best outlet to choose. I turned to alcohol. At first it was fine. I would get drunk and forget. Forget all my problems. All the fights I got into with my mom and dad. My depression. But soon it wasn’t enough.

So I went to the next best thing. Drugs. I started small, just pot for a while. But then it wasn’t enough either. I got into heavier drugs. Heroin, cocaine, sometime a little meth. When my parents found out they sent me to rehab.

I thought they cared about me. I though they sent me away to get better. But when I returned home, it was empty. My parents had moved away, taking my little sister Sarah. I loved her with all my heart, we were so close. So what did I do? I got high. Only I took too much. I overdosed on Meth. No one found me for almost two weeks. Of course it was much too late to be saved by then. I kind of disappeared for a while. I didn’t know what was going on. Then I woke up; I'm not sure what you would call it, so woke up, in a room full of people gently calling my name. There were so many but I didn’t recognize any of them. Until I saw Billy. He was my childhood friend. We were inseparable. A car had hit him when he was 16. He died instantly. I never got over it. But he was there. I was completely confused. So that brings me here. Helping people in similar situations to what I was in. Alongside my best friend. It’s been tough, really tough, but I feel I’ve made a difference in some people’s lives. If God can help me, he can help the rest of the world.

I still wonder why I'm an angel, I'm not at all like I thought angels to be. I’m the opposite actually. I just don't understand it. But I do my best. Sometimes I still feel a little depressed. But then I think of how I got a second chance. How I am free from the pain of the real world.

*****

I get up after awhile and make my way to the bathroom. Rummaging through my mirror cabinet, I find what I'm looking for. My pills. I need them to sleep. I haven’t been sleeping well at all for about a month, so I went to a doctor. He suggested a sleeping aid. They didn’t really work all that well. They just made me really tired, I still can’t sleep.

Morning

I think I'm the only one in the world that wakes up depressed. How does that work?

Oh yeah… Mandy.

She fucking tore my heart out. My dream of having a baby and a family was smashed within seconds, and she just went off to seek comfort in my best friend. I was going to call him, oh well.

I felt the familiar stinging in my eyes. Why am I fucking crying again?

But I have to ask myself; did I love her? I mean, I know I love and care about her, but am I in love with her?

I used to be. I guess we just grew apart.

Grew apart. Right. The only reason we grew apart was because she was a whore.

So now I'm alone. I don't have any friend, except Jesse. And well, I don't think I want to talk to him at the moment. I would usually go to Mandy when I was lonely. Can’t do that now. What do people normally do when they are alone? Watch TV?

I walk to the living room of my empty apartment and flip the television on. I'm not sure what this show is, but I’ll watch it.

I'm not even watching it; I'm more looking past the TV. And thinking, which is never a good thing when it comes to me. I need a switch so I can turn off my thoughts. They pour into my head as if there’s a tap that won’t turn off, just pouring thought after dismal thought into my mind. It needs to stop, but I don't know how to stop it. I think I need to talk to someone.

*****

I groan, getting out of my comfortable spot in my chair to answer the incessant knocking on my door.

“Hey Benji, how’re you doing?” Billy’s here. Thank heavens, I was getting bored. Really bored. I was actually watching ‘America’s Next Top Model’, pathetic, eh?

I know.

“I’m good, bored, but good. You?” I closed the door behind him. He has this really somber look on his face. I guess something’s wrong?

“Sit down, Benjamin.” It’s then that I know he’s serious. He never uses my full name.

I nod, sitting on the edge of the neatly made bed. “I have some bad news. Joel’s show, the one you’re supposed to work on with him, it’s being cancelled. I don’t know what we’re going to do now,” he looked really frustrated.

How am I going to get close to Joel now?

Reviews?

Fri, 17 Mar 2006 03:26:59 GMT

Title: I'm Staring in the Mirror Looking Back at the Person I Hate
Pairing: Quinn/Frank
Summary: Quinn hates how he looks. Quinn hates how he feels. Quinn hates that Quinn has a split personality.
Rating: 14A
Author: hazenst___
A/N: This is a very odd and confusing story, it’s different so don’t hate me if it sucks. I'm trying something different. This is totally different from how I usually write. Standalone

I look in the mirror. I can’t stand what I see staring back. It kills me knowing that I can’t change who I am or how I look. Why can’t I? Maybe if I just take off my skin, take off my clothes, strip my mind, maybe then I can change. Maybe then I will be worth the love he gives me. I keep staring into my own cold eyes. My hard, uncaring, ugly eyes. I need to be someone else. I need to stop being me.

My mind wanders back to that one grotesque thought. That one hideous thought that I could be someone else if I peel the skin away from my vile body. I could grow a new skin, a new being. A new personality. Maybe then I will be worth the love he gives me. Maybe. Probably not. I stare.

I can’t stand to look at myself anymore, so I look into the sink. It’s sparkly clean. In a mad attempt to distract myself, I cleaned the entire house today. But I wind up here in the end anyways. Staring myself down. Trying to think of new ways to become someone else. I have yet to think of one that would work. I can’t do it. Just another thing to add to my list of failures. It’s a long list. Believe you me. Then I think of this song. It describes me so well. I don’t know the name of it or who sings it. I don’t even know the words. But I do know it describes me. I just know.

I get mad. Indescribably mad. I stare into my own eyes again. They flare with anger. It’s the mirrors fault. The retched mirror. So I do the only thing I think is fit in this situation. I break the mirror. I ball my fist, pull it back. Before I realize what I'm doing, my fist is flying into the mirror with more force than I knew I had. And it shatters. A million tiny, jagged pieces falling into the sink. It’s the most beautiful sight I have ever seen. I see my own reflection in the falling pieces. Little flickers of my flesh reflected in the miniscule glass shards.

And that still makes me angry. The pieces are mocking me. Every move I make is reflected a million times over in this insignificant little sink.

This sink had got to go. I walk out of the bathroom, only to pass by another mirror. This one is in the hallway, shaped as a half moon. It’s framed in silver and black. Then I remember it’s his. So I don't break it. He wouldn’t be too happy about it, and that would make me feel like shit. Making him feel bad like that. I walk to the kitchen and look into that sink. This one doesn’t mock me. It doesn’t judge me.

“Quinn! I'm home baby,” he’s here!

“Frankie!” I squeal with delight, running to meet him at the door with a kiss.

“Have a good day, Hon?” he asked, lifting me into his arms. I nodded and places kisses to his neck.

“Always do,” I smile and look into his shining eyes. Of course, I had a wonderful day today…

Hope you liked it and it didn't confuse you too much. Reviews are always nice, good or bad, I don't care, just tell me what you thought. Sorry for any errors, still looking for a BETA.

Thu, 16 Mar 2006 02:55:07 GMT

Title: Saved

Summary: Joel is having trouble in his life, his girlfriend got pregnant and the baby isn’t his, then she had an abortion. His parents disowned him because he dumped her and also because he is bisexual. He used to be a great believer in God, but these past 2 months have him questioning everything he’s ever believed in. Joel abandoned his beliefs and despises God for what he has done to him. He came to the conclusion that there is no God out there, because God would never let this happen.
******
Benji is an Angel of God and has worked many cases before. He has never gotten too involved or emotionally attached; he has never had a situation like this to deal with before. He has the help of Billy Martin, his partner in case working. Billy has been a caseworker for much longer than Benji, so he is of great assistance. Benji and Billy are assigned to Joel’s case, to help him see the light.

Pairing: Joel Madden x Benji Madden

A/N: Based on the show ‘Touched by an Angel’. This is not meant to offend any religious beliefs, I apologize if it does. Constructive criticism welcomed and encouraged!

Chapter: 1/?

“I'm pregnant, honey.” Should she not sound happy? Should she not be excited?

“Sweetie, that’s wonderful!” I hugged her tight. She didn’t hug me back.

“No it isn’t. The baby isn’t yours Joel. And I'm getting an abortion.” Not mine.

“Who’s?” I heard myself demanded. It was like I wasn’t even standing here right now. It was like I was looking in on the scene through my own eyes.

“It’s Jesse’s.” My best fucking friend.

“Jesse?! What the fuck?!” I yelled. How could she cheat on me? How could he be the other man?

“I'm sorry, Joel! I just, I think we’re growing apart,” she looked down. Right! Growing apart, my ass.

“Growing apart?! I wonder why! If you’re sleeping with my best fucking friend, it’s a wonder we’re still together!”

“It was only once! I'm not some slut, Joel, ok? It was one damn time! Why can’t you just move past this?” she questioned me quietly.

“Would you move past this if I fucked your best friend?” I asked just as calmly.

“Whatever Joel! If I'm not getting it from you where else would I get it?” she sounded really aggravated now.

“Fuck! Not getting it from me? Every couple of days isn’t enough for you? Yeah, and you say you’re not a slut! We’re through! I can’t even stand to look at you!” with that said, I turned and walked out of her apartment. This feels so unreal. I thought Mandy and I would get married some day, have children. Children that actually belonged to me. I guess I was wrong. I guess my soul mate is still out there waiting for me. Why would God let this happen? I have always been a big believer. God always played a big part in my life. I just don’t know what to believe anymore…

*****

“Your next case is that of Joel Madden. His girlfriend just slept with his best friend and got pregnant. She is having an abortion. He dumped her and he’s a total mess and he’s questioning his beliefs in the church and God. Do you think you can help him Benjamin?”

“Yes, sir. I think I can. Who’s my partner?” Benjamin asked.

“William. You’ll be doing most of the work but William will be there for guidance if you need some advice or if anything goes wrong. Is that ok?” Jonathon asked.

“Excellent. When do I start?” With a grin and a determined mindset, Benjamin Combs, angel of God, walked out of Jonathon’s office, ready to begin his new assignment.

*****

“Mr. Madden? Your wanted on line 2,”Jenine informed me. She’s my secretary. I was currently trying to concentrate on ways to improve ratings for the TV series I produce, ‘Gardens of the Past’. It’s about this girl and her mother that live alone in a little cabin in the woods. The young girl, named Samantha, would bring a flower to her mother from their garden every day and in exchange, her mother would tell her a tale from her own childhood. It was very dull and needed to be improved. Maybe better tales? Maybe add some new characters…

“Joel Madden speaking, how may I help you?” Maybe I could move them to the city?

“Good afternoon Mr. Madden, my name is Benjamin Combs and I would like to assist you on the set of Gardens of the Past. I know this is very unprofessional, but I think that I could really help the ratings,” this Benjamin said.

And Samantha could turn into a hooker with purple hair and her tongue pierced, and instead of bringing flowers to her mother, she brings food since they can’t afford it…

“Oh really? What are some of your ideas?” Just to humor him. I had no intention of hiring him. Man, I’m a jerk sometimes.

“Well first, I think you should introduce a new character, perhaps a male character. As a love interest to Samantha’s mother, Myra. Samantha will feel neglected, Myra will get pregnant, and the new man will assault and harass Samantha. What do you think so far?” Actually, that could work…

“Why don’t you come in for a meeting? We could discuss details?” I asked this man.

“That would be wonderful, when is good for you?” he asked. Hmm…

“Let’s have lunch. Day after tomorrow, 12:30 at the Sky Room Diner?” That’s the only option buddy, take it or goodbye.

“Sounds great, I’ll see you then. Good day Mr. Madden,” he’s too polite.

“Good day,” and with then we both hung up. Well… this should be interesting.

*****

“It’s set Billy. I think I'm in,” I informed my partner and friend.

”Excellent! I hope the best for you Benji, I really do,” he gave me a quick pat on the shoulder and left. I was to stay in a hotel until I was finished the case. I hope for the best too…

I hope I can help Joel believe again…

Reviews? Con-crit? Tell me what you think, good or bad!

Wed, 15 Mar 2006 03:35:42 GMT

Title: Consequence
Paring: Sebastien Lefebvre x Surprise!
Summary: Sebastien had admired Bert from afar at Warped for too long. He was too afraid to talk to him. When Seb finally gets the courage to talk to him, will Bert shut him down, or actually like him back? To every action, there are consequences.

He was on his knees, face towards the sky. Screaming into the microphone with all his might. His fans stare at him in awe as he throws up over the side of the stage from working himself up so much. Then he gets back up again, smiling at the crowd, singing the next song as if it were all the same to him. God, he was so beautiful. He just doesn’t care, does what he wants, not thinking about it first. Consequence. A word that has no meaning to him.

“Seb? You ok?” Jeff. I only nodded in response, not moving my gaze from the stage. “Ok man, whatever you say…”

I didn’t move my spot or my eyes until Bert was off stage. Obsession? I don’t even know the meaning of the word! Fixation? Maybe. I just love watching him sing, it’s so mesmerizing. I could watch him sing all day. The way he jumps around and sweats to death and works himself up so much.

“Hey Seb, come on, our set starts in 10 minutes!” and then I was being dragged to a stage on the other side of the grounds. I was barely aware of playing my guitar or singing the few lines I have over the next 45 minutes. It was one big blur because I was concentrated on Bert talking to Tony Lovato the next stage over.

I haven’t been talking much lately. I think everyone has noticed, but said nothing. They give me weird looks from time to time, but I guess they think it best not to provoke me. It isn’t like I'm crazy or anything; I just have nothing to say. I told my sister that I think I'm in love, she told me to say hi to Jeff…

She thinks I'm in love with Jeff. I'm close to him, yeah, but not that close. She laughed at me and told me to call her when realization hit. That just confused me. She thinks I like Jeff but don’t know it yet? No, not like, love. Is she insane?!

“Hey Seb, sup?” there comes David. I was just going to brush him off but then I notice an arm around his shoulder. A very sexy arm. Bert’s arm.

“H- hey,” I said, looking at my shoes. They’re new! I just bought them yesterday; they were 60% off and everything. They’re blue and orange, I have never seen blue and orange shoes before. They were $5 and—

“Uh, Seb? You ok dude?” David asked, interrupting my inner rambling to no one.

“Yeah, I'm good.” I blushed and looked up with a weak smile.

“Have you met Bert? He’s the lead singer of The Used,” David said, this huge shit eating grin on his face. The Used is his favorite band; he is in love with Jepha. But, wait; I am NOT supposed to know that. Ignore it. Thanks, love yah!

“Nice to meet you Seb,” Bert says with a grin. I nod and shake his hand.

“I- I got to go, talk to you guys later,” My words came out jumbled and nervous before I all but ran off. Oh God, I made a total fool of myself! In front of Bert! I run into the bus and bury myself in the comfortable mound of blanket that is my bunk and hide my head under a pillow. Damn it!

I feel someone touch my arm and I almost hit my head as I jump in shock. “What?” I grumbled, in an annoying, whiney voice, slightly high-pitched.

“You okay? Don’t say you’re fine. I know it’s a lie. Why can’t you just tell me what it is Sebas?” he asked me.

“I can’t Jeff! I can’t,” I said.

“Am I not your best friend?” he asked. I nodded as a response. “Then you can tell me anything! Come on, please? I want to help you!” he said, getting into my bunk with me.

“But nothing is wrong per se, but there is something eating away at me. Please don’t laugh or anything?” I basically pleaded.

“I would never, Hun,” his voice sounded so soft, reassuring. I love the sound of his voice when he’s soothing me.

“I think I’m in love Jeff, but I don't know. This guy is just so perfect,” I sighed as images of Bert flood my mind, flash after flash of red make up and streaked hair. I wanted it all.

“Oh wow! That’s great! Who is it?” he asked, sounding eager. He sounds happy, right? So why can’t I tell him who it is?

“I don’t think I can tell you,” I said. When he asked me why, I shrugged, telling him “You’d laugh.”

“Oh Seb. I wouldn’t laugh at you! If anything, I’ll giggle like a fucking school girl!” he grinned.

“Um… Bert,” I mumbled. He seemed kind of shocked. I knew he wouldn’t take it well!

“Did you just say you love Bert?” he asked. I couldn’t look him in the eye, or even bring myself to look up. So I nodded gently. “Wow, I wasn’t expecting that at all. I'm happy for you all the same,” he smiled and kissed me on the forehead, hugging me tightly. I relaxed into his arms, feeling a strange sense of ease overtake me. I inhaled his familiar scent and smiled to myself as I cuddled his chest. This seems so right. Jeff holding me.

“You going to tell him?” he asked.

“Tell who what?” I asked, kind of dazed in Jeff’s presence. He chuckled and tightened his arms momentarily.

“Tell Bert you love him?” he questioned. Me. I love. Bert? That can’t be right… can it? I don’t… damn. Jeff confused me.

“Maybe I’ll just ask him out,” I laughed.

And I did just that. I believe his exact answer was:

Sorry Sebastien, you aren’t really the type I go for… um… Your nice and all, but I could never see us going out. Not me with you anyway.

He had this look on his face like he wanted to laugh or throw up or something like that. It broke my fucking heart. Naturally, I went to Jeff. My Jeff. He held me for hours and let me cry, telling him everything. I went from sobbing, to explaining, to sobbing, to anger, to just plain emotional mess. He tried to console me but it wasn’t working, so he settled for just holding me and letting me rant and cry and yell. Then I looked at him. For the first time. Right in the eyes. Guess what I saw? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. How can his eyes be empty?

“Jeff? Why do you have empty eyes?” I asked him as innocently as I could.

“What? I don't understand,” he crinkled his brow.

“Never mind,” I mumbled. I assumed it had something to do with loneliness. I don’t want Jeff to be lonely. Then he’ll be upset.

I looked into his eyes again, and then saw a little glint when he looked back into mine. Then it hit me. Realization hit me. So I leaned up and kissed him. Nothing R-rated or anything, just my lips on his. Nothing more or less. It was perfect. I leaned back to look at him, gauge his response. He looked confused.

“Seb, don’t. You’re confused. You just got your heart broken,” he said. I smiled and shook my head.

“It’s been you all along Jeff. Just you,” I said softly, kissing him again. There was only one difference this time. He kissed back.

“Oh yeah, my sister says hi,” I mumbled before occupying my lips again.

Consequence. A phenomenon that follows, and is caused by some previous phenomenon. The outcome of an event, especially as relative to an individual. Who says consequences are always bad?

Review?! You know you wanna... *hint, hint* Sorry that was unbelievably corny and cliche... review anyways and lie. Just tell me you liked it anyways haha. Thanks for reading!

Sun, 12 Mar 2006 02:50:25 GMT

HEY EVERYONE THAT READS THIS! I have this community and you gotta join! Sonny Slash! My lovely co-mods sex_n_candy5635 and missyouxtodeath and I need some help promoting and advertising! I made some banners, here they are, just take out the stars!

<*a href="http://community.livejournal.com/sonny_slash/"*><*img src="http://i24.photobucket.com/albums/c49/MadagascarPenguins/clonedpromo.jpg"*><*/a*>

<*a href="http://community.livejournal.com/sonny_slash/"*><*img src="http://i24.photobucket.com/albums/c49/MadagascarPenguins/SP.jpg"*><*/a*>

<*a href="http://community.livejournal.com/sonny_slash/"*><*img src="http://i24.photobucket.com/albums/c49/MadagascarPenguins/f8180a0a.jpg"*><*/a*>

<*a href="http://community.livejournal.com/sonny_slash/"*><*img src="http://i24.photobucket.com/albums/c49/MadagascarPenguins/smp.jpg"*><*/a*>

<*a href="http://community.livejournal.com/sonny_slash/"*><*img src="http://i24.photobucket.com/albums/c49/MadagascarPenguins/SMFF.jpg"*><*/a*>

Hope that is lots of selection, thanks!

Sun, 05 Mar 2006 22:13:04 GMT

Title:Horny
Pairing:Sebastien Lefebvre + David Desrosiers
Rating: PG, deals with mature issues.
Summary:"Seb! I'm Horny!"
Past Chapters:

Prologue
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4

Right now I feel warm. I feel happy. I just woke up. It’s one of those times when you just lay there keeping your eyes closed. Not quite wanting to wake up yet. I could see the sunrays through my eyelids. I'm thinking about Sebastien, how much I really love him. I rolled over, trying to find Seb in the bed. He wasn’t there. What? I open my eyes to see a very unfamiliar room. Where am I?

Wait…

No way…

“Fuck!” I all but screamed, watching as he fled into the room, looking beside himself with worry.

“What is it, babe?!” he asked with wide eyes.

“Uh… nothing, I’m good,” I said, sighing and rubbing my face, only to feel the stubble on my cheeks. How the fuck could this happen?

“I made breakfast baby,” he said.

I nodded and he motioned for me to follow him to the kitchen. I got up, noticed how very naked I was, and pulled some clothes on. I'm not sure if they’re his or mine but I don’t really care right now.

“Daddy!” I felt little arms wrap around my legs.

“Um… hi baby,” I said, picking up the little girl attached to my leg.

“You taking me to school today, Daddy D?” she asked. Daddy D. Daddy Seb. Fuck.

“Sure baby doll.” I smiled at her and put her down in her rightful seat at the table.

“Dave?” he asked.

“Yeah?” I replied.

“What’s wrong? You’re acting strange,” he said.

“I'm sorry. I was just thinking,” I said, looking down.

He patted me on the shoulder and we ate breakfast. I dropped Bianca off at school. We picked that name together. Seb and I. It means white. White means the beginning of the end or end of the beginning. White means stability, power, trustworthiness, and conservatism. I found myself driving to him. Driving to Seb. Tears were falling down my cheeks unnoticed by me. I get out of the car and make my way to him. I need him. I need my Seb.

Sebastien Lefebvre-Desrosiers
Loving father of Bianca Lee Desrosiers
Husband of David Desrosiers
June 5, 1981 – March 20, 2004
R.I.P
We Will Never Forget You

Now you're gone,
I wonder why
You left me here,
I think about it on, and on,
and on, and on, and on, again.
I know you're never coming back,
I hope that you can hear me,
I'm waiting to hear from you..

Until i do,
You're gone away,
I'm left alone,
A part of me is gone,
And I'm not moving on,
So wait for me,
I know the day will come..

I'll meet you there,
No matter where life takes me to,
I'll meet you there,
And even if I need you here,
I'll meet you there.

I wish I could have told you,
The things I kept inside,
But now I guess its just too late.
So many things remind me of you,
I hope that you can hear me,
I miss you,
This is goodbye,
One last time..

You're gone away,
I'm left alone,
A part of me is gone,
And I'm not moving on,
So wait for me,
I know the day will come..

I'll meet you there,
No matter where life takes me to,
I'll meet you there,
And even if I need you here,
I'll meet you there,
No matter where life takes me to,
I'll meet you there,
And even if I need you here,
I'll meet you there.

I'll meet you there....

And where I go you'll be there with me,
Forever you'll be right here with me..

I'll meet you there,
No matter where life takes me to,
I'll meet you there,
And even if I need you here,
I'll meet you there,
No matter where life takes me..
I'll meet you there,
And even if I need you..
I'll meet you there...

I'll meet you there...
I'll meet you there...

Sat, 04 Mar 2006 16:20:53 GMT

001.	Beginnings.	002.	Middles.	003.	Ends.	004.	Firsts.	005.	Lasts.
006.	Hours.	007.	Days.	008.	Weeks.	009.	Months.	010.	Years.
011.	Friends.	012.	Enemies.	013.	Lovers.	014.	Strangers.	015.	Classmates.
016.	Family.	017.	Parents.	018.	Children.	019.	Him.	020.	Her.
021.	Birth.	022.	Death.	023.	Life.	024.	Choices.	025.	Accident.
026.	Smell.	027.	Sound.	028.	Touch.	029.	Taste.	030.	Sight.
031.	Sunrise.	032.	Sunset.	033.	Too Much.	034.	Not Enough.	035.	Mask.
036.	Breakfast.	037.	Lunch.	038.	Dinner.	039.	Food.	040.	Drink.
041.	Rain.	042.	Snow.	043.	Lightning.	044.	Thunder.	045.	Storm.
046.	Winter.	047.	Summer.	048.	Spring.	049.	Fall.	050.	Vacation.
051.	Humor.	052.	Angst.	053.	Fluff.	054.	And.	055.	If.
056.	Birthday.	057.	Christmas.	058.	Thanksgiving.	059.	Halloween.	060.	New Year.
061.	Broken.	062.	Shattered.	063.	Hurt.	064.	Agony.	065.	Healing.
066.	Anger.	067.	Love.	068.	Loss.	069.	Jealousy.	070.	Denial.
071.	Sex.	072.	Kink.	073.	Threesome.	074.	Seduction.	075.	Party.
076.	Secrets	077.	Betrayal	078.	Discovery	079.	Confession	080.	Redemption
081.	School	082.	Work	083.	Home	084.	High	085.	Low
086.	Circle.	087.	Heart.	088.	Lost.	089.	Found.	090.	Missing.
091.	Epiphany.	092.	Dream.	093.	Break-up.	094.	Make-up.	095.	Lies.
096.	Colourless.	097.	Minutes.	098.	Writer‘s Choice.	099.	Writer‘s Choice.	100.	Writer‘s Choice.

Sat, 04 Mar 2006 16:15:37 GMT

This is for slash_100, I just started. This is 2 prompts that are kinda linked. Hope you like!

Title:Letters To You That You Will Never See (Two Prompts)
Prompts:096,097 (words of choice: Sin, Minutes)
Summary: Sonny misses Chuck and expresses it in the form of two letters. (This series may be continued with other prompts)
Rating: PG
Pairing:Sonny Moore x Chuck Comeau

Colourless

It used to be a world of colour. It used to be fun and full of life. Now it’s all gone wrong, now it’s all different. My life changed that day; it will never be the same again. I would wake up every morning and see a world of colour; I used to see your face. Red, yellow, blue, green, orange, purple. So many colours. So much to be happy about. So what changed? You left. You left me without so much as a warning or goodbye. Why did you do it? Why did you make my life colourless? You are the one that made me live, the one that made me realize I could love again. You ruined me; I was ruined for the last time. By you. By the one I thought would never hurt me. I spill my blood as I write this; I spill my formerly red blood. Now? It’s no longer red. It’s colourless. I will love you even in my colourless death.

Always Yours,
Sonny

Minutes

It was the night you were suppose to return. I planned a gorgeous night for us, a night at home. The home we bought together last year after my dad died. I was a wreck and you rescued me. I now wonder why you bothered to save me, to love me, to make me. But you did. I sat there, waiting, listening to nothing but the sound of the ticking clock. The hours passed and you hadn’t come back. I made us dinner. I lit candles and bought an expensive wine. The dinner was cold, the wine was no longer chilled, and the candles had burnt out. I watched them burn till the very end of the wick, telling myself you would walk in the door any minute. Any minute, now. But that minute never came; I will be waiting for that minute for the rest of my life. Hours. Minutes. Seconds. I spend them all thinking of you. Why do I waste my time? Why didn’t you come home? It wasn’t until the next day that I found out. You didn’t even have the decency to tell me to my face. The decency to tell me the night before so I didn’t go to all the trouble of making your coming home a night to remember. I spent so many minutes thinking you would walk in at any one. You never did. I am still waiting for that minute. Even as I write this letter that you will never receive. No one will. This will never be read by anyone. Not even me after it’s written. I want my minutes back. All the minutes I wasted on you, all the minutes I will waste on you. I want them back. But I can’t get them back. And it’s your fault. Why can’t I stop loving you? Why can’t I stop loving you every minute of my pathetic life? I spend my days thinking of my lost minutes. That results in more wasted minutes. I am wasting my minutes right now. I wish I could quit you.

Always Yours
Sonny

Fri, 24 Feb 2006 03:02:39 GMT

Title:Horny
Pairing:Sebastien Lefebvre + David Desrosiers
Rating:G for this chapter, major fluff ^_^
Summary:"Seb! I'm Horny!"
Past Chapters:

Prologue
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3

We had another interview after we ate lunch, we a show to play. So no Sebby time for me. Right in the middle of Jump I ran over to the side of the stage Sebastien was on and air-humped my bass guitar at him. He blushed a little and smirked at me, quite the contrast, huh? It was adorable.

The show was long over and I was just hanging around the stage, playing around on the drums. All the guys were back at the hotel of the night. This was my favorite time. Alone on the stage, being myself with no worries of being judged cause no one is around. Not playing anything in particular, I was completely tranquil and calm. Then I jumped so high I swear I could have hit the ceiling. What the fuck? I turn around to see Sebastien doubled over in girly giggles. I glared at him and moved over to the edge of the stage, sitting down with a huff.

Seb sat beside me and wrapped his arm loosely around my waste, resting his head on my shoulder with a sigh. I tried to move away from him but he kept a firm hold on me.

“You scared me,” I stated with a slight pout.

“I’m sorry, boo,” he said, causing me to giggle.

“What?” he looked confused.

“Boo, you called me boo,” I said between giggles.

“Yes I did, got a problem?” he said jokingly.

“I like it,” I said with a sweet smile, kissing him lightly. We sat in silence, slightly awkward, until I got a brilliant idea.

“Come on,” I said getting up and grabbing his hand. I led him over to the drum kit. I made him sit.

“What am I doing?” he asked.

“I'm going to teach you something I made up just before you came in,” I said with a huge ass grin on my face.

“But David! You know I get frustrated when I can’t do something!” he whined.

“You learned guitar you can learn one piece on the drums!” I said encouragingly. He looked hesitant, but agreed anyways. I directed him step-by-step, note-by-note. He got it eventually, it took about an hour to get the first bar but after that he got it quicker. All the bars were remotely similar. “I'm going to play guitar along with it and sing, Kay?” I said and he nodded as he kept trying. I strummed lightly, finding Seb’s beat and sang softly. He doesn’t know this but the song I am singing? I wrote it for him.

Breakdown
I can't take this
I need somewhere to go
I need you
I'm so restless
I don't know what to do

Seb kept playing, not really paying attention to my singing. He had this cute little smile on his face.

I promise
I won't let you down (you down)
If you take my hand tonight
I promise
We'll be just fine (this time)
If you take my hand tonight
If you take my hand tonight

By this time Seb had stopped playing and was looking at me. I smiled and kept singing lightly. Seb had this shocked look on his face, but in a good way.

If you take my hand tonight
I won't let you down (you down)
Take my hand tonight

I finished and set the guitar down. It was Pierre’s guitar but he won’t mind. I wouldn’t look at Seb, afraid of what he would say. This is much worse, mainly because he hasn’t said a word.

Then I felt him sit on my lap and steer my face to him. “That was so beautiful. When did you write it?” he asked.

“Last night. I couldn’t sleep. I wrote it for you,” I said shyly.

“For me? For serious?” he asked all excitedly.

I laughed a little and nodded.

“Ah Davey!” he squealed, wrapping his arms around me, nuzzling my neck a little.

“You like it?” I asked unsurely.

“It’s amazing!” he said with a giant smile.

“Good, glad you like it, boo,” he wrinkled his nose a little and I kissed him.

“Let’s go, babe, I'm tired,” I said, Seb nodded as he got off of my knee. We made our way back to the hotel, opting for the five-minute walk. I laced my fingers with Sebastien’s and kind of leaned on him as we walked.

“Seb? Where do you see us in ten years? Like, you and me?” I asked him.

“Well, I see us wherever we want to be. I don’t know what will happen to us, but all I know is I don't care where I am as long as you’re happy,” he said in just above a whisper.

“I love you,” I whispered.

“I love you too, boo,” he said with a light smile.

I am really starting to like that nickname.

I really am sorry about these updates taking so long. I know, I know, if she's sorry why doesn't she make it shorter in between updates? I really am trying, I hope you like this!

Reviews are Love and Cookies
*kRIS

SPB Challenge III

Wed, 15 Feb 2006 04:29:04 GMT

Pairing: Sonny Moore/Chuck Comeau
Title: Remember When…
Summary: Chuck and Sonny reminisce when the time that they met comes up.
Genres: Fluff!
This is for the SPB Challenge III! and for Miss Kendra cause I promised her I would write something! JUST FOR YOU! <3333

“Remember when you first introduced me to your parents?” he giggled. I smiled fondly at the memory.

“Oh yeah, how could I forget? They just completely froze when they saw you,” I ran my fingers through his hair, his head currently residing on my lap. “Remember our first date?” I giggled this time.

“Oh my God, what a disaster!” he squealed. “First I was late! Then I figured out I was allergic to sushi that night! We ended up spending 3 hours in the hospital waiting room. But it was all better in the end when you kissed me goodnight,” he smiled sweetly up at me.

“That was a horrible night, I was so surprised when you agreed to go out with me again,” I laughed.

“Of course I was going to go out with you again! I mean, you’re so adorable!” he smirked and pinched my cheeks.

I blushed a little and we were quiet for a bit. Just thinking about all the great times we’ve had together. One time in particular stood out in my mind.

“Do you remember-” we both started at the same time.

“Go ahead,” I smiled and told him.

“Remember when we had that party, got really ‘drunk’ and played truth or dare? Just us two?” he had this all-knowing smirk on his face.

“Oh God! Yes! I Remember!” I covered my face feeling completely embarrassed of myself.

“Let’s remember together…”

“Chcuuuk! Let’s play a game…” Sonny had this devious look on his face.

I was reluctant to play but I agreed when I saw how persuasive he could be. And when I say persuasive I mean taking off his shirt cause he claimed it was hot in the room. If all else fails, I can blame this on the alcohol. Even though I'm not drunk…

“Truth or dare?” he asked giddily.

“Truth,” I said, too afraid to see what the dare would be if I chose that.

“Hmm…” he seemed slightly put off when I said this but smiled nonetheless. “Is it true that… that you grabbed William Beckett’s crotch at the VMA’s last year because Pierre said you would never do it?” How did he know this? That happened in private!

“Um.. yeah…” I said sheepishly.

“I KNEW IT! HA!” He said triumphantly. I looked at him confused and he blushed and relaxed again.

“Your turn,” he said politely.

“Truth or dare?” I asked him.

“What do you think?! Dare, baby!” he said enthusiastically.

“I dare you too… hum, this is a tough one. I dare you to kiss David!” I said with a smile.

“David?! If you say so…” he got up and left the room, bringing David back in moments later.

“What’s going on?” David asked. Before I could answer Sonny smashed his lips onto David’s, forcing entry. They kissed for about a minute when Sonny pulled away.

“Ok, we’re done with you now David, you can go,” Sonny smirked and pushed him out the door.

“Truth or dare, drummer boy?” he taunted, enunciating the word ‘truth’ in a mocking way. He doesn’t think I can handle a dare! I’ll show him…

“Dare!” I said defiantly.

His smirk grew. “Do a strip tease. To the song of my choice. You have to dance and be sexy!” Sonny said.

“What?!?” I shrieked.

“You can’t back out!” he said.

“I can chicken!” I defended.

“Well then in that case… I double doggy dare you to! There is no way you can get out of that one!” He said, obviously proud of himself for thinking of this crazy scheme.

“OK! Enough remembering!” I said, suddenly stopping the memory trip.

“Do you remember the song I picked?” he continued.

“I try not to…” I mumbled.

“Sick and tired of hearing all these people talk about, what's the deal with the pop life and when is it going to fade out?” Sonny started to sing slowly.

I glared at him as he giggled and I burned red.

“ I hate you,” I said.

“Love you too, baby cakes!” Sonny said with a kiss to the air. I couldn’t help but smile, knowing full well that that night got me the love of my life. I chuckled a bit and wrapped my arms tighter around him.

In case you didn't know, the song is Pop by Nsync haha. Reviews are love and cookies

Mon, 13 Feb 2006 03:33:47 GMT

Title:Horny
Pairing:Seb/David {Simple Plan}
Summary:Seb! I'm horny!
Past Chapters:{Prologue}
{Chapter 1}
{Chapter 2}

The next morning was complete hell. First Chuck came pounding on the door to wake us up. Then he sent Pierre in when we didn’t get up. So Pierre got to see Seb and I in bed together. Naked. Cuddled together. Great way to wake up, let me tell you! As of now I am in the shower trying to sort through my thoughts. I can’t believe Pierre walked in on us in that position. G-d was it ever embarrassing. As I got out of the shower I heard the guys in the room, all of them laughing.

I wrapped a towel around my waste and walked out of the bathroom, searching for some clean clothes. Thankfully we were in the last town long enough to stop at a laundry map. I grabbed a pair and pants and a t-shirt and went back into the bathroom. The pants I am going to wear today are really tight so you can’t wear underwear with them.

When I was dressed and my hair was done, I went back out to Seb’s and mine hotel room where the guys were still all seated. “Morning!” I said brightly, haven momentarily forgotten to be embarrassed.

“So, um, Dave. Seb. Anything you may want to tell us?” said Chuck after dramatically clearing his throat.

I blushed and looked at Seb who was also blushing. “Um, we don't really have an answer,” I said quietly.

“What is that suppose to mean?” asked Jeff with a questioning expression.

“Well we haven’t discussed it yet,” Seb said casually.

“Err, right,” said Pierre. He seemed to be the most embarrassed about this. Maybe he isn’t ok with gay people!

Shit. They didn’t know either of us is gay.

“So you guys… don’t have a problem with us being gay… do you?” I asked hesitantly.

“No way! Why would you even think that?” Patrick asked, widened eyes. I shrugged and grinned. We hung out until an interview before lunch. Usually we would all be sleeping now but most us had an early night last night. Seb and I on the other hand… well, you know. So we got asked the same old questions. Are any of you intimately involved… do you plan on making a new record anytime soon… are you getting tired of being in the spot light all the time? These get so annoying so usually I just don't answer them. The others do it for me. When we go to lunch, Seb sits beside me. It was such a small gesture that I wouldn’t have noticed if he didn’t nudge my elbow and smile at me. Those sparkling blue eyes… just, amazing. His eyes twinkle and he gets dimples when he smiles. Something else I noticed when he smiles is that he furrows his eyebrows slightly; so slight you would have to be staring to notice. Not that I was staring or anything…

“What can I get for you gentlemen today?” the cute waiter asked us. He caught my eye and gave me a little wink.

Seb must have seen this as well cause he put his arm around me and nibbled on my ear while whispering, “What do you want, baby?”

The waiter didn’t look at me the rest of the time we were there. Seb and I laughed about it as we were leaving the waiter a very generous tip for having to go through that incredible humiliation.

A/N: I had such ADD while writing this, it was really hard! It is really short, and I am sorry for that, I just wanted to get something up to let you know I haven't forgotten this story! I have just been so busy lately, new semester just started and stupid me taking advanced English for the year ahead of me so everyone in my class is older and there is so much work. Hope you liked it even though it was short. Thanks for everyone that reviewed so far! I will try to get the next one up sooner! I AM SO SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG!

Sat, 04 Feb 2006 04:01:39 GMT

Title:How Could You Be So Blind?
Summary:How could you not notice? How can you sit there and not understand? Do you know what it’s like to feel this way about someone and have them remain clueless? I do and it is slowly killing me inside, piece by piece, tear by tear. Soon I will be numb, unable to feel any emotion or happy thought. Do you see what you are doing to me? When I am an empty, soulless shell, will you know it’s your fault? I have to tell someone about this but I know I can’t. It’s not that I don't want to, it’s that the words won’t come out when I think of you. I love you so much it is killing me, can you not see it? How could you be so blind? One-shot.
Pairing:Jeremiah Rangal/Tony Lovato (Mest)
Warnings:Fluff, slight Angst

“Tony Hon, are you ok?” she asked me again. I simply nod. We have been sitting here for nearly an hour and she has asked me that four times. I counted. “I can’t take this anymore! You never talk to me; we haven’t been close in a long time Tony. Talk to me or we’re through!” she yelled at me. I remained silent, staring straight ahead of me. “Fine! I’m gone. Goodbye Tony, have a nice life!” she got up and stormed out. I don't feel anything; the fact that she’s gone means nothing to me. I sat there for countless hours, numb, not thinking of anything, staring out the window. I don’t even remember going home, I only remember waking up in the hospital.

“Tony! I'm so glad you’re awake!” he said to me, giving me a hug. I sat there, limp and detached.

“What happened?” I asked in a quiet voice. Those are the first words I have spoken in almost a month.

“Well you came to my house rambling about Wave dumping you and you being in love. You were on chemicals, I could tell. You collapsed and I couldn’t wake you so I brought you here. The doctors told me you were on Crystal Meth. That was three days ago.” He finished in a nonchalant voice.

“Oh,” was all I said. He came and sat beside me, the silence was heavy, deafening.

”Tell me what’s wrong Tone. We all know it’s something big to make you act this way. Please tell me,” he asked weakly.

“I- I can’t,” I said in defeat. Today is going to be the day that I crack, spill everything. I know it’s finally time. He takes my hands in his gently and I look into his tear filled eyes, then it hits me. He does care. My eyes tear up as well. “Jeremiah…” I say, using his full name. “I love you,” I say in a blank voice.

He smiles. “ I love you too Tone,” he says. I sigh.

“No. I want to be with you. I want to hold you all night, telling you how much I need you,” I say, tears running down my cheeks at an alarming rate.

“You… your gay?” he asks.

I sniffle and nod, looking at our entwined hands. He tightens his grip and says, “I need to think,” before letting go and leaving the darkened room. The tears won’t stop and I know he hates me now, that he isn’t coming back. I knew this would happen when I told him. I don’t remember much of the next few days; it was just a blur of people going in and out of my room.

“Ok, Mr. Lovato, you can go home today and a friend of yours volunteered to come get you,” an overly cheery nurse told me and all I could do was nod in response. Later that day I had the clothes I came in back on and Jere came in.

“Uh, hey Tony. How you feeling?” he asked tentatively, sitting beside me on the couch on the opposite wall as the bed. “Look, I'm sorry I ran out of here the other day, but I wasn’t sure what to think. I actually have been gay for quite some time now. I was so overwhelmed when you told me that and I didn’t know how to react. I have loved you for so long,” he said.

“You love me?” I asked with teary eyes. He nodded and hugged me tightly.

“Never leave me,” he said, muffled into my shoulder.

“I promise,” I whispered then pulled back enough to kiss his lips softly. I guess he wasn’t as blind as I though. I guess I was the blind one all along.

I wrote this a long time ago, just found it on my computer. So yeah, thought I would post it, fixed a few things. Tell me what you think!

Tue, 31 Jan 2006 01:16:17 GMT

Title:Horny
Paring:Sebastien/David
Rating:NC-17
Summary: "Seb! I'm horny!"
Previous Chapters:
{Prologue}
{Chapter 1}

When I woke up the next morning, Seb wasn’t there. I thought maybe he changed his mind or something bad happened. Maybe he went out for coffee and someone mugged him then when he was stumbling back here someone decided they didn’t like Simple Plan and we should all die so he pushed him into the road and he got hit my a car and how he’s lying in the hospital about to die!

… Or he’s in the shower…

Heh. Yeah. He just walked out of the bathroom, completely naked.

“Morning sunshine!” he said brightly.

“M- morning,” I managed to stutter out. I was watching a single drop of water make it’s way down Seb’s chest. Abdomen. Happy Trail. Seb’s-

“Dave? You ok?” Seb giggled and I blushed.

“I'm good, I'm good. I'm going to of have a shower,” I said. I stumbled into the bathroom, shielding my eyes from the harsh neon lights. I turned on the taps, stepping into the water. I was still naked from last night’s activities. Taking my time, washing carefully, I hummed to the song playing in my head. I think I might use this song for some fun with Sebastien…

****

“So, what’s in store for your next album?” asked the annoyingly chirpy interviewer.

“Well, it will be much the same as Still Not Getting Any… with the same type of music on it. We’re really looking forward to going back to the studio...” Jeff rambled to the girl. She didn’t seem to be paying much attention as her eyes were fixed on Pierre. Figures. I didn’t pay attention much until the stupid fangirl started to flirt with me.

“So David, is there a lucky girl waiting somewhere for you?” she smiled.

“Nope,” I paused with a smile as I watched her eyes light up. “But there is a lucky guy,” I winked and smirked as her face fell and she ignored me the rest of the time. We all went to lunch after that, and then we had another interview and a concert. Busy day.

When we finally got back to the hotel, I was so hyped up. Seb was exhausted. I went to the stereo and put in a CD.

“Dave! No!” Seb whined. I looked at him with a pout.

“But I want to listen to music!” I whined back.

He rolled his eyes, not in the mood to fight so just giving in. I smirked and turned on the song I wanted. The beginning beats came on and I had to dance. It’s just one of those songs you have to do the sexy dance to.

Seb was watching but I was barely aware. I was getting lost in the song, softly singing the lyrics.

I don’t want you and I don’t need you,
Don’t bother to resist, I’ll beat you

I saw Seb staring at me and decided to make this interesting. I slowly slid my shirt over my shoulder, dropping it to the floor in one suave motion.

Hey you, what do you see?
Something beautiful, something free?
Hey you, are you trying to be mean?
Unbuttoned my pants very slowly and seductively, rotating my hips as I span around in a circle.

I slipped of my pants, revealing my tight black briefs. Can’t wear boxers with pants that tight.

I walked over to where Seb was sitting, mouth agape.

“I'm going to take a shower,” I said, biting his ear lobe gently and walking away.

I walked into the bathroom without a backward glance, and then as I was about to shut the door I asked, “You’re not going to join me? The shower is awfully lonely…” That’s all it took. He all but jumped up and ran into the bathroom after me. I helped him take off his clothes and we got in, already making out. He wrapped his legs around my waist as I hoisted him onto my hips. I pushed him against the shower wall, causing our erections our rub against each other. I moaned into his mouth as he ground into me. I pulled away from his mouth to breath and he moved his lips to my neck. “Fuck Sebas,” I moaned.

Teeth sinking into my neck, tongue licking over the bruised flesh. Damn. Seb is good at giving hickeys.

”It’s as anatomic as the size of your steeple,” Sebastien managed to sing weakly.

“Fuck… just please fuck me?” I begged.

He shook his head. “You fuck me.”

That was possibly the hottest thing he has ever said to me. His hair was dripping and hanging over his eyes as he panted, legs around my waist. Oh my. How can I refuse?

I nodded and he grabbed the conditioner bottle.

“Hm… repeat? Maybe…” he pondered as he spread some of the conditioner on my cock. Without preparing himself at all, he plunged onto my.

“Oh shit!” I moaned loudly. Seb’s head was thrown back, he was panting hard. He was moving with such gracefulness you would think he was innocent… until you saw what exactly he was being so graceful on top of. It wasn’t long before we both came, by then the water had run cold, which was good because we were both panting and sweaty.

“I’d say your steeple is big,” he said with a giggle. I blushed and buried my head in his shoulder.

“No reason to be embarrassed baby! None. At. All.” He finished his sentence looking down at my cock.

“Seb!” I whined.

He giggled again and led me out of the shower.

“Ok, now I'm tired,” I said and collapsed on my bed.

Seb looked at my bed, then at his, almost as if in debate.

I pouted at him and patted the spot next to me. He grinned and pounced on the bed next to me, cuddling up to my side immediately. Wow, two nights in a row…

Thanks for everyone that reviews! Cookies for all!