||[11 Sep 2004|11:02pm]
that's 9 underscores, for people who don't like to copy and paste <3
UHM. ADD ME. IM MAKING IT FRIENDS ONLY.
and unless you add me first, i will not add you back.
<3 much love.
||[09 Sep 2004|08:16pm]
OK. THIS IS SO, SO, SO, SO IMPORTANT!
i need EVERYONE. literally EVERYONE... to vote on a new lj username for me. no, i cant have a poll, because this one isnt my paid account, but please, even if you've voted already, re-vote ...
ok. go vote.
||[08 Sep 2004|09:33pm]
not only is my computer going slow, but my game of online monopoly is going slower.
i got 5 rolls of film back from my sweet16 today. jesse's boobs have never been so famous.
i have so many thoughts rushing through my head right now that they're drowing my brain cells in this blood that i don't know and my thoughts are intertwining like the roots and branches of an old dying tree. i hate this feeling.
it's hot and sticky in this room and my earrings look like the jesus fish. i think i'm secretly destined to be a born again christian, because apparently the way i dot my 'i's in my signature looks like jesus fish, and now these earrings look like them too.
it's the 3rd day of school and i'm already missing a homework in chem. ha, go figure. i didn't remember i had a ditto to do, and i hadn't written it down. so there was nothing i could have done about it.
i'm so drained right now. physically or emotionally, it can be either, even though neither of them would make sense. i have had no staggering emotional problems and i have barely moved in the past week. maybe i'm dying.
i guess with relationships, and i'm talking about a friendship in this instance, nothing ever feels final. but eventually, enough is enough. it has gotten to the point where i am so used to things being over because they have been over for so long, but i guess my lungs are in shock [but somehow still breathing] over the loss of someone i was attatched to for so long .. and someone that had been attatched to me. and how anyone can let go so easily, i'll never know, but i had let go just as easily so i'm at fault as well. this doesnt mean that i don't think about this loss at least once a day, because .. as i said .. it's surprising that everything is just gone.
besides this, i feel like i need to rush everything right now. i want to dive right into school, right into every class, i want to skip the preperations and go right into hardcore essays tests and projects. i want to rush everything even though i have no inspiration right now, no reason to do anything. i am slacking already, and it is because i don't feel like doing the work. but i still want to dive into everything. i want to start everything. i'm sick of teachers just talking and talking and talking. i want to know nothing and do everything. as simple as that. everything right now is moving too slow for me. my whole life right now feels like one of those times when you're in a crowded hallway, and you see an open space, so you walk into the open space so you can walk fast to get to wherever you're attempting to get to, and all of a sudden there's a group of people blocking your way again. so it's like walk fast --> stop. move left. walk fast again --> stop. it's like everytime, i rush things, and i'm there, and i'm ready, and then i'm told to stop.where.i.am. do not go any further. we do things slow, simone. fucking slow.
|say dreams destroy us briefly scream like the frustrated
||[07 Sep 2004|05:44pm]
there's some things and some people i'll never understand.
some people can spend 2 days, 2 years, 4 weeks, 7 months, 6 years, 3 decades thinking they know someone .. and then they can always do the unimaginable. i had always thought that other people, someone in specific, had it so bad with this one friend of hers. you know, she was abandoned, and then forgotten about, and then avoided. but now that i've been abandoned, forgotten about, and never avoided, but definitely forgotten about, i'm wondering.
right now, i have the hiccups. and theyre not normal.
they make my chest lift up like my heart was dying, and my throat makes a noise, but i don't feel them, besides the continuous thrust of my body towards the sky.
so here i am, listening to race the sun, and trying to figure out what leads me to hate certain people. but i just wont take being forgotten completely lightly. everyone, EVERYONE, said you're wrong for what you did saturday. not showing. after the deal had been that if you didnt go, you would come. and then the day before it was still a 'maybe' and you havent spoken to me and you didnt call and you threw away a lot. not that we had much left, but i cant even talk to you, i wont waste my time.
i used to think you were smart.
and you knew how to hold on.
now i realize that all you know how to do is let go.
you fucking prick.
and of course, fake it if i have to.
and there's other people im upset with, of course, but i dont think my being upset with them will effect them in any way, so here i am, thinking that there's no point in mentioning it to them. but should i ?
ok, i just did, now it's apparently up to the male race to save me now.
|michelle gives me friends.
||[06 Sep 2004|11:45pm]
Your Escape Plan: seriously..
Your Escape Plan: im gonna say this in the least- boy...least- "hittin on you" fashion
Your Escape Plan: but you scream sex
Your Escape Plan: not only sex...but like....50's sex
ok. so today, i woke up at elisas [i had fun last night <333 i love you elisa and emilyyyy .. and emily loves rupert .... and candace was there but she never reads thisss] and then we re-watched 'anything goes' since we fell asleep during it .. and then we left at like 2. and then i did nothing for a couple hours, and then i fell asleep on my couch until like 7:30. now its almost 12 and i suppose i should sleep soon.
im going to look like shit tomorrow unless i curl my hair.
so it's decided!
gertrude + downey = lunch tomorrow.
||[06 Sep 2004|03:02pm]
i totally made a post about my sweet sixteen
and i totally dont know what happened to it.
|uhmmm i had a good day <3
||[02 Sep 2004|03:35pm]
uhmmm ... i looked like shit today and i love it <3
heres my classes:
1st - drawing and painting:
handrakis wasnt THAT bad. she scares me a little bit. i feel like i need to sit down and get to know her and make her get to know me so that she'll like me. and becky is in that class, and hannah !!! [not that anyone knows who she is, but shes a senior who was in my math class last year and i love her] is in that class, too. and allll first period becky and i were saying how it would be AMAZING if jeffrey/jeffmew [see last post, little guy shown with erica] was in our photo class. we didnt see ms. downey
2nd - math:
ok, so i get to math, and i see katie, and i see melissasmith!!! and i sit down near melissasmith because there wasnt anywhere to sit near katie or something. and then we moved our seats, cause its assigned seating, and all of a sudden i see a girl who looks familiar walk past my row [i was in the back]. and im thinking: is that emily?! cause i know shes going to ohs now. and im looking at her, and staring at her, but she wasnt making any sort of face that looked like she knew me. and then i was like: ok, thats not emily. no, yes it is! FINALLY they past the seating chart around and i saw it was her, so i turned to her and said something and she's awesome ... <3 and i walked her to her 3rd period class because she doesnt know where she was going. haha
3rd - photo:
so im walking up to the room and i see becky, and i think: ok good. i walk INTO the room .. and i like .. fucking SQUEALED. sitting .. right there .. was JEFFREY. JEFFMEW. HIS MOM WAS ON A POGO STICK. AND IT WAS JEFFREY! and then i was soooo giddy because we were hoping so badly he was in our class. and becky and i are going to MAKE HIM sit with us because i love him. [or do i hate him?] annnddd he asked me for money and i gave it to him because he's small and annoying <3
4th - lunch
so i find emily, and make her go to lunch with me. gerty was outside <33 like she said she would be, and we walked to mario's with someone gerty found [it was me, emily, gerty, and her person] and at mario's we saw robyn, and then we ate and we walked back <3 bravo.
5th - english .. i think
BLAHBLAHBLAH so i get there and i see ericaaaa and that's all that matters. and she's bad. and we're reading the crucible and our town so she's happy and our teacher is okay.
6th - US history:
uhmmmm ali shapiro i love you. youre in my class.
and emily is in that one too.
anndddd ali is sitting right next to me. ok, who says ashlee simpson and skye sweetnam has nothing to do with US history?! .. no one.
7th - chem:
horrible people in my class except for robyn. i thank her soooo much for switching. i would have cried in that class. except our teacher is really awesome. sooo yeahhh
p.s. inbetween 7th and 8th i stalked laurenstein.
8th - chem lab: basically same thing. and then wasted time when she had nothing to talk about anymore. haha.
9th - symphonic choir:
wtf is all them sophmores doing in symphonic choir? someone chew my nonexisting dick off, please.
but it's amazing cause any form of chorus is amazing. and erica is an alto because i told her to be one. and shes sitting next to meeee .. for now i guess. <333
wonderful day in the neighborhood.
anndd because i love michelle so much its sick:
Headshots 8x10s: um cloney thank you so much
OHH MARILYN: ?
Headshots 8x10s: for the headband
Headshots 8x10s: its so cheezy and pretty
OHH MARILYN: <333 are you going to wear it ?
Headshots 8x10s: duh
Headshots 8x10s: of course
OHH MARILYN: GOOD.
OHH MARILYN: becauseiloveyou.andigotitforyou.
Headshots 8x10s: i know<333 it made me so happy
Headshots 8x10s: k i have the best classes
OHH MARILYN: :-D
OHH MARILYN: so do i
Headshots 8x10s: DO YOU LOVE MILLER OR WHAT?
OHH MARILYN: aw yeah i do love her.
Headshots 8x10s: I LOVE MILLER. OHMYGOD
OHH MARILYN: GUESS WHO IS IN MY FUCKING PHOTO CLASS!!!
Headshots 8x10s: i saw her and gave her a huge ass hug
Headshots 8x10s: who?
OHH MARILYN: JEFFREY!!!!!!!!!!
Headshots 8x10s: I KNEW IT
Headshots 8x10s: HAHAHAHA
Headshots 8x10s: HAHAHAHA
OHH MARILYN: I LOVE HIM
OHH MARILYN: I LOVE HIM
OHH MARILYN: I LOVE HIM
OHH MARILYN: HAHAHAHAHA
Headshots 8x10s: thats so excellent
OHH MARILYN: and miller might dislike me because i was giddy because i was so happy he was in my class
Headshots 8x10s: dont let her dislike you
OHH MARILYN: i know, i dont want her to
Headshots 8x10s: shes so awesome. oh my gawd
OHH MARILYN: CLONEY IM IN AN AWESOME FUCKING MOOD
Headshots 8x10s: me too!
OHH MARILYN: IM IN AN AMAZING MOOD
OHH MARILYN: IM BOUNCING OFF THE WALLS
OHH MARILYN: AND IM SO HAPPY
Headshots 8x10s: oh my good
OHH MARILYN: and hungry
OHH MARILYN: BUT ITS AMAZING
Headshots 8x10s: HAHA
|i know you tried to change things <3
||[01 Sep 2004|01:10pm]
DO THE TWIST.
somebody put me back in school
i forget everything i used to know
how to leave the boy behind
without having to watch him go
infidel to die for.
well, yesterday was the last FULL DAY of summer. today is the last day in general. and the summer wasn't something i can brag about, but i'm not disapointed with my summer at all. this summer was just two months without school. it wasn't a learning or changing experience. i learned and changed as much as i would have in any other two-month-span. yes, i am leaving this summer with some new friends, some closer friends, but summer is summer. it's nothing special. i do know that yesterday i acted on a whim and i picked up the phone, with the thought in my brain that i refused to let the day go to waste, and i called katie who was eating dinner, and asked her if she wanted to go see napoleon dynamite, and she did, and we went. and it was a cute movie, and she slept over afterwards, and right now i know that school starts tomorrow and my party is in 3 days.
some things i know now:
1. some people who seem like the most exciting people in the world can actually be so boring it's sick.
2. FIT summer classes aren't as fun as spring classes, because FIT is super-duper-crowded.
3. re-becoming friends with someone you used to be friends with is awesome.
4. jas is awesome <3 [i knew this before, but its even more true now]
5. metric is amazing
6. ringo, i love you
7. becoming closer with your clone is really really good for the soul. bahahaha.
8. sara will never change, and that's comforting.
( G R O W . U P . & . B L O W . A W A YCollapse )
||[30 Aug 2004|07:30pm]
i want them to hate me .. so you can love me on the sly
ok. is ANYONE aware of how i have spent basically my last week? ALONE. i have hung out with selected people for selected parts of the day, and that's IT. please stop ignoring me. small request.
I FEEL LIKE NO ONE LIKES ME!
i have officially wasted my day in front of the computer because there's nothing else to do. it was me, a bag of pretzels, and the computer, all day.
even though i DID get up at one point and take pictures.
Headshots 8x10s: you actually have taken your camwhoring to a new level.
Headshots 8x10s: you got up, and went outside to camwhore.
|fuck you <3
||[30 Aug 2004|12:10pm]
so many seasons spent together
inseperable, attatched at the hip
never attatched at anything else
for lack of better terms
then your ship set sail
and we sailed in opposite directions
you never turned your ship around
to watch me float away from you
and i would write my letters to you
and put it in a bottle
and ship it off to sea
but you ignored the bottles that came up on the sand
wherever you landed. wherever you landed.
and now a simple little favour is the world's biggest task
and you can't give yes or no answers because you feel terrible..
you feel like you need to hold on to what we had
by bringing up memories i dont care to remember
and you reel me in, you let me feed into your words
when i know, when i know very well, that you dont mean it.
that youre just looking for someone to hold onto
just in case you ever fall.
but dont worry, your ego will not let you fall
its your safety net, baby, it will NEVER let you fall
and now a simple little favour is the world's biggest task
and you expect me to grab onto the string you dangle in front of my face
and you expect me to never let go.
because when you fall, you think that string will pull you up.
well i have you heard the news yet?
if you get pulled back up at all, i wont be that puppeteer.
( butterflies and applesauceCollapse )
|you can have london but i want new york city <33
||[29 Aug 2004|12:06am]
uhmmk, good day <3
woke up at 11:35am.
my hair appt was at 1130. go figure.
got there at 12.
waited a while, melissa finally got to me, my dye took FOREVER and then finally i got to jillian, jas got there just in time for my curlers to go in <3 and then jas got her hair cut! it looks AMAZING [pictures behind the cut]
so anyway, my hair COLOUR came out really pretty, im now a platinum blonde <3333 and my hair STYLE came out ... eh ... and i had to actually re-curl it when i got home cause she really didnt curl it like i wanted. so ill be real strict next weekend for my party.
after hair, jas had her mommy drive us to my house, and then later katie came over, they were both taught the dance, and they both stayed till 11ish. and theres lots of pictures.
( i am an accident waiting to happenCollapse )
yeahhhh. i have no lyfe-izzle ;D
|i can't resist today
||[28 Aug 2004|01:08am]
uhmm .. today?
i woke up on michelles floor. in michelles clothes.
i dont remember what we did after that.
[i had slept over cloneys house last night and it was a lot of cloney-ness and i really love that girl to death. seriously. cloney if youre reading this, nevermind you know that i love you a lot]
i played with indie today.
and i cam-whored.
and i went to tri-county and got my jewelry for my sweet16.
annddd i bought a headband for cloney.
and i stole some more bows.
theyre amazing and youre jealous.
and i ate a lot.
and robyn came over. and joe. and i love them two clowns.
and i ate a lot.
annndddd now here's my cam-whoringness. im really ugly. so watch out.
( WHITE HOUSEZZZzzZZCollapse )
yeah thats it. you unfortunate soul.
michelle has the pictures that we had taken together.
yeah. theyre hot. i'm ugly. she's adorable.
go view them. you know you want to. <333
|your ship may be coming in, youre weak but not giving in ..
||[26 Aug 2004|12:59am]
i cannot even BEGIN to explain these past few days.
basically, my computer died.
i cannot function without this piece of machinery.
and it's really sad to have to admit that, but it's everything. it's my amusement when im bored. it's my way of contacting people. i have to constantly check things. basically, yeah, I DIED. ok?!
we put shaney to sleep 2 days ago.
as my dad went to get in the car, to drive her away, i took one last picture of her.
today .. was spent .. yeah ill just explain.
woke up at like 12:45 and decided 10 more minutes of sleep would be excellent. i got like .. 2 more hours instead. my mom was home, attempting to fix the computer. GUESS WHAT. she did. i died. we fought. i finally got on, checked my mail, yaddayadda.
then she was back on the computer.
i was on for a half hour. i had watched the time.
so then i had nothing to do. i seriously sat on the couch, no television on, and stared at my phone, and my palm pilot, and eventually i walked into the computer room again and i said to my mom: at 5:30 can i please get online? ive been doing nothing, all day, please?
and she said NO!
and i walked away. and i stared at the wall for 2 more minutes and cried.
everyone was hiding from me today. no one was picking up their phone. and i walked upstairs, crying, and i layed down and eventually fell asleep. i had this terrible dream about a really bad fight between geri and i, and i was woken up by stacy saying they were leaving that second and i needed to go with them. THAT SECOND. so i grab my sneakers and i went into the car, and we headed for north shore animal league.
where i met some really cute dogs.
one was an olympic gymnast. haha it was so bendy and flexible.
when we got there, my dad was already there. he said he had found a dog, a bearded collie, 2.5 years old .. when we saw her, she was cute, and happy, and excited, and really soft. and we looked around more, and by that time my dad had the collie out and was playing with her. her name was rosie. everyone of us kind of warmed up to her .. a lot. and by the end of the night we took her home.
and i named her indie.
and im in love with her. and she's geri's, but it's ok.
but im still kind of .. hesitant to love her, because i love my dd and i dont want dd to feel like shes not getting enough attention, because that happened to precious when we got dd and not precious is just a big bitch. and i love dd so much.
( say hey to indie <3Collapse )
sam giordano i <3 you and miss youuuuu.
||[22 Aug 2004|07:03am]
so at 4ish i retire to my room.
a.m. that is.
and at 5:50 im still awake.
and i walk downstairs.
and now im here.
and now its 7:04
and im still awake
and i havent slept
and im not tired.
new layout of sorts.
its adorable, come 'ohh' and 'ahh'.
||[20 Aug 2004|11:17pm]
ahhh today was a bundle of fun.
i woke up at 12:30 to my cell phone ringing:
erica: hii, can you go open your back door please?
me: [i waited like 10 seconds] no
erica: please? im melting out here its so hot blahblahblah
and then i eventually got up and let her in.
and i got dressed and stuff, and we called a cab and went to michelle's.
and then the kids arrived [she was babysitting them] and we ordered food annnddd the fun began bahaha.
first off, anabel, which i hope im spelling right, is THE CUTEST THING ALIVE. ever. i dont care if she cries and she gets evil and pissed michelle off yesterday, because shes cute. i mean, i care, but she is so adorable.
and uhmm blahblah i made a necklace for michelle with her beads that the child tried to eat and we watched requiem for a dream [ashley had came to the house too]
annddd while we were watching it, PJ started talking about sex. and he is the SEX EXPERT. he claims it, so he is one. and he said 'sex is gay. you only have sex if youre gay' and a whole bunch of other stuff and we loved it <3
and at one point, 'PENIS IN THE MOUTH' or something extremely similar was screamed. i loved it there. oh my gosh. tonight was so funny. because he is a sex expert. not a sexpert, since he yelled at me when i called him a sexpert.
annnddd i'm going back tomorrow <3 to save the clone.
after, erica came to my house and we viewed pictures of our FAVOURITE ASIAN EVER.
and i love her.
and shes so asian.
||[20 Aug 2004|02:11am]
uhmm this goes out to anyone who is reading this.
do i make you happy?
if i get no comments, i understand.
|we built this city on rock and roll <3
||[20 Aug 2004|12:46am]
today was fun <3
uhmm i woke up at 12:30 to ben calling my cell phone.
got dressed. ben eventually showed up.
then katie showed up.
and then i dyed her hair [red of course]
and then we watched cat woman. that was so terrible and funny.
[while comparing the 2 'sorry' marks]
ben: oh yeah, see the way the 'Y' swoops over here? that was definitely a cat.
and when she said 'meow' it was funny. im still laughing. stfu
and george the electrician came to fix my lamp.
and ben left because he needed to be home for dinner and i went to katies. and it was her padre's birthday. and i had some form of food. haha. and then ben came. and then blanket time. and then cake. and then more blanket time. and then 3 people on katies bed. and then katie called melissa a boob while telling a story. and i got ben addicted to asians which is FUCKING HYSTERICAL. and we love asians more than we love you. deal. and i still have my party-beads around my neck. and its funny the way no one cares about my night and im typing as if someone does <3
oh and i still love michelle a lot A LOT and tomorrow im going over her house to play because her kidlings are staying at her house [which isnt good, go tell her you love her and to not kill them] anndddd i miss her and we need to do the cloney dance. not you.
||[19 Aug 2004|03:59am]
uhmm hi :D
i did nothing.
and i sat online.
and kicked some guys ass in online monopoly.
and uhh .. then i lost a game terribly
when i wasnt concentrating cause i was having a long conversation with phil cohen. that crazy nut.
anndd yup. thats about it.
tomorrow im dying katies hair and hanging out with ben ?
[i havent spoken to ben within the last 24 hours .. maybe he died]
ohh marilyn: im going to look like marilyn monroe. and youre going to be like 'nigga i shouldve tapped dat ass foreva ago'
x p l o r e r213: i did tap dat ass
ohh marilyn: shutup.
ohh marilyn: ok then someones gonna turn to you and say that, and you can be all 'i already did'
I AMUSE MYSELF TOO MUCH.
ohh marilyn: ok im going to auction myself off.
ohh marilyn: and ill be bought by an old balding fat guy. and itll be ok.
ohh marilyn: because atleast he'll give good hugs
and phil .. was funny.
bruce the spleen: every girl who has a myspace is absolutely beautiful...is it like a prerequisite?
[but then i followed up with:]
ohh marilyn: no, have you seen mine?
long night. 4:08 am. maybe i should leave now.
no ones going to leave comments.
so why would i mention to leave one ?
||most recent entries