written lonely words for company....

Sun, 14 Nov 2004 07:00:55 GMT

I dont think anyone will understand what I am feeling thats why i put this in my old live journal.
People keep trying to help me get over him and i think I am but then again why do i always htink about hima nd why do i always read his livejournal even though ti know it will make me feel worse, knowing that he loves some girl thousands of miles away. She is visiting here in Dec. thats all he cares about, her and himself.
I still like him even thought he is cynical and paranoid, selfish and demanding I still think he is perfect. But perfect in a different way that only I can understand well maybe someone else could understand if they feel the same way about someone.
But I am going to make a promise to myself: I will stop liking him.

Sun, 14 Nov 2004 06:47:24 GMT

Sometimes when I think about him I feel sick to my stomach.
Sometimes its even hard to breath.
I dont know what to do with myself.
I feel like i have really fucked up in some way though I cant figure it out.
He is in love and there is nothing I can do about that.

Thu, 08 Jul 2004 01:21:53 GMT

I have dont nothing (basically) at all for the past couple days. Well actually last couple weeks. Sabrina and I are going to write a book and if she doesnt want to anymore then I will write it. There is a Ben Kweller concert at The House of Blues and I can't go because the Frickin HOB is 21 and over!!!!!!!!! Fourth of July was pretty fun. I went to Malibu Lake and Emma and Vivian were there! we went swimming in the lake and swam out to this little Island in the middle. I could'nt get on the doc at the island so Vivian had to help me up (I'm such a retard) and we "met" this french kid [( Vivian's Fiancee )( I can't spell)] who could only speak french and to only thing we got out of him was that he was 14 and was staying with his parents' friends'. Then we never saw him again. The after that I got hit in the head with a football. That was embarassing. I missed The Warped Tour! It was today!!!!! I looked in ticketmaster and It started exactly when I woke up.
I havent done anything the whole day except listen to music and go on the computer. VERY BORING! I will try to post more but I need someone to help me with my LJ it Looksreally bad right now and i dont know how to fix it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Good song

Sun, 04 Jul 2004 05:16:25 GMT

Wasted & Ready
Force field super shield AA.
Junior high love affair is OK.
Jump on the big wagon cause I'm so Cal.
I'm big in every way. I'm running as fast as I can.

She goes above and beyond her call of duty.
She is a slut but X thinks it's sexy.
Sex reminds her of eating spaghetti.
I am wasted but I'm ready.

If you wanna move it so,
why don't you make it go.
Prove to everybody who doesn't understand.
All the nights, all the fights. You are out of sight.
Some say more with their hand. I'm running as fast as I can.

She goes above and beyond her call of duty.
She is a slut but X thinks it's sexy.
Sex reminds her of eating spaghetti.
I am wasted but I'm ready.
I am wasted but I'm ready. I am wasted but I'm ready.
Running as fast as I can. Running as fast as I can.
Why am I dealing with this feeling?
I'm maxed out like a credit card.
I'll continue to be my worst enemy.
It's easy but it seems so hard.
You're near but you seem so far.
She goes above and beyond her call of duty.
She is a slut but X thinks it's sexy.
Sex reminds her of eating spaghetti.
I am wasted but I'm ready.
She goes above and beyond her call of duty.
She is a slut but X thinks it's sexy.
Sex reminds her of eating spaghetti.
I am wasted but I'm ready.

I am wasted but I'm ready.
Running as fast as I can.

Tue, 15 Jun 2004 04:09:33 GMT

AAAAAAH!!!! school is so close to ending yet so so far! well, only 4 days but still school is torture for me. I saw Harry Potter3. i ight have said that in my last journal thingy but w/e it was still good. people who didnt read the book dont really get how good it is. the only problem is that they changed the whole story. Im doing this Eicks thing right now its the worst project ever! well im so bored and i want to see Viva La Bam right now! I MISSED IT AT 7:30!! well i gtg!

Sun, 06 Jun 2004 03:20:57 GMT

WOW I'm so bored right now!!! i have been reading To Kill a Mockingbird notes all day. then I got stung by a bee, that was fun especially because i have a phobia of them... haha it was kinda funny though :)yesterday i went and saw Harry Potter. It was really good but the only problem was that they changed the story. I would seeit again but like it annoyed me. I saw Chey there!!!!!!! Well yeah ill try to update!

Thu, 03 Jun 2004 02:48:58 GMT

SCHOOL IS ALMOST OVER!!!! THANK THE LORD!!!!!! I CAN'T WAIT TO GET OUT OF THAT SHIT PLACE! MALIBU HIGH SCHOOL SUCKS ASSSSS!!!!!

fuck kyle

Sun, 23 May 2004 20:03:50 GMT

I'm so fucking tired of kyle. i liked him for so long then i liked him again even more and hes just an asshole. i dont know why i wasted so much time on an ass like that. He is shallow and never cares about other people. i can admit i can be shallow at times but come on he doesnt even care if the person he dates has a brain as long as shes hot. yeah i never liked him b/c he was hot which hes not that hot i liked him b/c he was nice to me and i thought he actually cared about something other then sex but appently not. just look at his past gf's... (romina) not much to that one. why do i have such bad taste in guys?!?!?!?! they never like me ne way... im too ugly for them. i even blocked him, i cant hurt myself agin like that. i loved him so much and he didnt even care. the asshole.

Sun, 23 May 2004 17:25:37 GMT

whats up??? i havent written ne thing in a long time... well theres nothing to talk about!

Thu, 06 May 2004 03:58:23 GMT

A lot and i mean a lot has happened. and the days just seem to be going in slow mo. my best friend gets kicked out niice right? i feel so alone i know how cliche its turned into but i really do feel like that. its fucking retarded. its 8:50PM and it feels like 6:00. the oc will be on in 10 min. shit i hate school. i mean i want it to burn down. Most of the people in the school are rich little bastards that take pleasure in tortuing others and i dont know why being men takes a lot of energy. oh and the so called "popular" people... there is no such thing as popular in our school1!!!!!! there are just people that think they are better than everyone else and guess what? THEIR NOT!!!!! and not to be mean but most of them are not that attractive. i think its just b/c they are mean S.O.B.'s. gotta go OC will be on soon.

B&G Club

Sat, 24 Apr 2004 00:02:44 GMT

Hey!!! I'm with Maggie right now at the boys and girls club we all knnow how fun that is right?? i just got her a LJ yeah we are the bored lol.

Thu, 22 Apr 2004 05:05:08 GMT

Just watched the OC!! Best show ever!!!! Next week looks soooo good!!! well ctn ttyl bye!!

Tue, 20 Apr 2004 05:28:58 GMT

Tue, 20 Apr 2004 05:26:51 GMT

Tue, 20 Apr 2004 05:24:31 GMT

[IMG]http://img50.photobucket.com/albums/v153/getfree_/4e0b7b16.bmp[/IMG]

Tue, 20 Apr 2004 05:19:24 GMT

wow i should be really tired right now after all i didnt sleep at all last night but im so awake and watching Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secretes! lol good movie good movie...

Last Couple Days

Sat, 17 Apr 2004 03:34:36 GMT

The last couple days have been fun.

On Tues. I went to someones house bu i forgot who (oops lol)

On Wed. I went w/ my dad to work. and then he drove me to my moms then i went to jasmines house then we went to cross creek hung out there for a while. after that we went back to her house and her mom drove me to the top of my hill. that night i was going to sleep over at tiares but i couldnt :(

On Thurs. I went with Michele and Vivian to 3rd street and we hung out there for a couple hours. (saw STD's) and got this magazine with The Strokes, The Vines and Radiohead all in the same magazine what could be better??

On Fri. (Today)

i woke up at 7:30 (b/c the phone rang) and fell back asleep and woke up again when my dad was making breakfast at 9:30. after a while he left then when i was getting my money from harper i locked myself out of the Apt. luckily i had my cell w/ me and called my dad to come open the door.
Later I went with Crystal, Crystallyn and Jessica to the Santa Monica Pier. We went on the serpent ride like 4 times and the roller coaster one about the same amount of times. OMG the replaced the upside down ride with that ride Sizzler. well, thats what its called in the Chili Cook Off this time it was called the Scrambler or something.
Now im at home kinda bored if someone actually reads this plz call me!!!!!!!!!

La La La

Wed, 14 Apr 2004 05:23:27 GMT

Just watched white oleander very sad movie :(. but earlier today i saw texas chainsaw massacre. not as scary as u would think but very disturbing. just like the ring both bad bad movies. really hyper for some reason! talking to melody on AIM and listening to gangs of new york. wendi is pissed at me once again for not going to guitar lessons which i didnt want to do in the first place, i want bass guitar lessons and no one seems to get that i dont want to do this and bass and guitar are completly DIFFERENT!!! well ill update this later bye!

Wed, 14 Apr 2004 02:14:02 GMT

[IMG]http://img50.photobucket.com/albums/v153/getfree_/4e0b7b16.bmp[/IMG]

Bored!!

Wed, 14 Apr 2004 02:01:53 GMT

Need to do SOMETHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IM me plz soon!!!!!!!!!

First Entry

Mon, 12 Apr 2004 17:16:46 GMT

Hey! this really isnt my first entry i have another lj. the sn for it is mydogbaxter24. well ill try and update this as much as possible!!!