fullforce______

Sun, 19 Jun 2005 02:01:50 GMT

Title "My Heart Is the Worst Kind of Weapon"
Band/Pairing Mikey & Frank (Mikey POV "spoken" to Frank the whole time)
Author mockingbirdsing, hey wait, that's me.
Rating PG (for the time being)
Summary Oh my.

Introduction
http://www.livejournal.com/community/mychemicalslash/559211.html#cutid1

Chapter 1
http://www.livejournal.com/community/mychemicalslash/561463.html

Chapter 2
http://www.livejournal.com/community/mychemicalslash/634087.html#cutid1

Chapter 3
http://www.livejournal.com/community/mychemicalslash/743788.html

Chapter 4
http://www.livejournal.com/community/mychemicalslash/751771.html#cutid1

The show was a disaster.

Gerard was dunk, like always.

You wouldn't look at me.

You still won't look at me.

I try to catch your eye. But every time those brown eyes meet mine you quickly turn away.

"Frank, please talk to me"

"About what Mikey?"

"I'm sorry. But I just wanted to get back at you."

"GET BACK AT ME? I didn't know I was hurting you Mikey."

You turn away again.

I love you so much, and I didn't know you felt the same. How was I supposed to know.

How did I know that you, beautiful, Frank, would want me, hell even love me.

And then when I knew you did, I hurt you.

I did the same thing you did. I became what I hated. I wish I could turn back time, and never hurt you.

Wow, I worked myself up and now I'm crying. I'm trying to hold it in so you don't see.

"I'm sorry I never told you. I would ask Gerard and he said you didn't love me...and I believed him, like I always do. I've always loved you Mikey. I thought Gerard was the only thing I could get that was almost like you. But you two are nothing a like."

I don't know what to say.

All this time and you only wanted me. It's too late for all this. Things would be awkward.

"Frank, I love you, but I think it's a little to late for that."

"Is it?"

I don't know what to say to you anymore, I hurt you. The one thing I said I would never do. I became Gerard. I hurt you like he did. And now I can't forgive myself.

"I hurt you once, and I don't want to hurt you again."

"What makes you think you will?"

"Everything"

I can't stand this anymore. I don't know what I'm talking about. I'm confused. I don't know what I want. I don't know if I can handle you loving me back. All my dreams coming true and I'm to weak to handle it.

I love you, Frank. I want to make this work. But I can't tell you any of this. Because of him. Because of Gerard. I know what he would do if we became one. I know we would ruin it, just like he does everything.

I feel your lips on my cheek. I feel you brushing my tears away.

I turn to face you. You don't care that I hurt you. You love me. And I love you. And Gerard shouldn't matter. No one should matter.

The next thing I know I'm lying naked next to you in your bunk. Your shallow breaths in sync with mine.

I can hear your heart beating, slowing down with each breath. Your fingers gently running through my hair.

This is the way it should have always been.

Me and you.

You and me.

Gerard should have never been in the picture.

"I love you Mikey"

Everything is perfect.

For once in my life, I have you. And I'm never going to let you go.

You're mine. And I am yours

"I love you"

Sat, 18 Jun 2005 00:07:30 GMT

Title "My Heart Is the Worst Kind of Weapon"
Band/Pairing Mikey & Frank (Mikey POV "spoken" to Frank the whole time)
Author mockingbirdsing, hey wait, that's me.
Rating PG (for the time being)
Summary Twist.

Introduction
http://www.livejournal.com/community/mychemicalslash/559211.html#cutid1

Chapter 1
http://www.livejournal.com/community/mychemicalslash/561463.html

Chapter 2
http://www.livejournal.com/community/mychemicalslash/634087.html#cutid1

Chapter 3
http://www.livejournal.com/community/mychemicalslash/743788.html

You're sleeping in your bunk tonight. I guess the raised voices between you and Gerard really was a serious fight.

Gerard pulls my curtain back, the light from the hall hurts my eyes.

He's trying to make loud sounds so you can hear where he's sleeping tonight.

I'm giving into Gerard, like always, I bet you never knew that till now. I'm giving into him this time so you know how it feels to be hurt.

I want you to feel how I feel, Frank, and I'm going to make sure you do. With each kiss I return to Gerard, I'm hurting you more. With each moan I try not to hold back, I'm hurting you more.

I'm sorry, Frank, but karma's a bitch and I want you to know how you make me feel.

Why am I doing this? Why should I hurt you because you hurt me. I'm becoming the thing I hate. I manage to push Gerard off.

"I'm sorry, but I can't do this to Frank."

"Whatever, Mikey"

He's pissed.

I don't care. I want to crawl out of my bunk and into yours. I want you to hold me. I want you to be mine.

But I think the damage is done, and you hate me.

I'm to weak to find out if that's true. I'd rather not have to feel the harsh reality of what I did till the morning. I'm not even ready for it then.

I lay there, listing to you breath. You're not asleep. I can tell by the way the breaths are short and very close to one another. You've been crying.

I guess you really did love me, and it wasn't some act.

You never told me Frank, how would I know it wasn't just an act like you put on with everyone else. How was I supposed to know you loved me.

You hurt me to much for me to think it was real.

I miss judged you. I guess thoese looks in your eyes were real.

You were just as shy as me about your feelings.

And now I went and fucked it up.

I don't know what to do Frank, I didn't know. I'm back where I was, except I know how you feel. And you loved me. And me, little Mikey, timid Mikey, went and broke you're heart.

I'm worse than you.

Frank, I'm sorry.

"Frank"

"Shut up, Mikey"

I won't even try.

"I'm sorry"

"Whatever, Mikey"

I really am sorry Frank. I wish I could say all the things I want to say. And make it better. I'm sorry, Frank, I'm really sorry. I just did what you did. I just hurt you as much as you hurt me. But this time I knew about it.

I'm stupid.

And I'm never going to get you, because of Gerard. He has a way of fucking me over, doesn't. Fucking us over.

Sat, 11 Jun 2005 09:09:36 GMT

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