she kills with foreign films

spring break, the big 1-7 & ish.

Sat, 26 Mar 2005 07:22:42 GMT

so spring break officially started at 2:30pm on thursday.
it is almost 2am on saturday.
& in those relatively short hours i have been having too much fun.
i hope it is a precursor for the rest of spring break.

after school on thursday i came home, got ready, had some food & headed over to danielle's. we sat around looking "high fashion" with our makeup, outfits & shoes. & since her car is in the shop her mother, aka my aunt, drove us to the high school for the talent show. "i dont want anyone to see me. the 19 year old girl being dropped off by her mother at the high school" after some small malfunctions with my cellular device we found jillyn & went in & watched the talent our school had to offer & boys i think are attractive. i must admit that my favorite act was howie's & lisa's rendition of 'such great heights'. jill & i were teary-eyed. after that mikey w drove us to bob's & we just got 'a little' drunk & i 'a little' passed out in his bed around midnight & slept until 5. & then bob woke up & we watched wayne's world 2 & my cousin was mysteriously missing.

around 9:30 danielle called (from my cell phone) & asked if we wanted to go out for breakfast. so strauss picked us up & we headed to larry's to meet up. we watched some movie with leonardo dicaprio as a heroin addict & after larry then took us to do random shit like get my cousin's pay check & have her get clothes to change into. so then we went to ihop for my birthday breakfast! ;D & we met strauss, jenny, diana & bob there, & amanda & pierre walked across the highway - with a birthday present for me! :DDD! & we all ate & then i came home cleaned myself up, felt like i was going to vomit & whatever & then we headed back to larry's & sat in his basement for a while & just fucked around. amanda had to go home at some point, & strauss went to work at some point & then we didn't have enough cars for all of us so larry drove danielle & diana to get diana's car & then they showed up a while later with kenny. with another car there we got to leave the primacies & go get food.

i started to feel sick again so i came home & laid down & ate dinner with my family & then diana came & got me & she, danielle, pierre & i went to wendy's to meet up with kenny, edgar & nick. then we left & dan, larry & bob met us at my house cause i had a present for them & then we bounced & went to main street quick check & then meghan, bev & diego showed up, krys & jenny showed up it & poovy showed up & then strauss showed up. & the cutest thing ever: krystina & jenny bought like a little cupcake three pack & lit a match & put it on top & sang to me. shit like that gets me... when people actually care enough to do that i am so shocked & can't help smiling. & then all the hurbs left so we decided to go to point pleasant. so diana, danielle, pierre, bob, larry, dan, strauss, jenny, krys & i all went. & i ran through the water & dan got down to his boxers, & i got humped & had sing-a-longs, & hurt my lungs from being a smoker & then running & a bunch of other cool shit.

this years birthday was good, people actually remembered. i got a shitload of texts, ims, myspace msgs, & other things that made me so happy. <3

i love my friends.
& thank you to everyone who took time out of their day & said "happy birthday"

tomorrow i get my hair done!

Tue, 15 Mar 2005 02:34:21 GMT

the highlight of my day was getting the sketch of my tattoo from amanda. i am utterly in love with it. <3 the scroll will actually say something. [most likely everything was beautiful & nothing hurt. got to love the vonnegut <3] only like one more year until i can actually get it... i sort of want it as a chest peice but i don't know. any suggestions? & i fucking hate lower back tattoo's, that is a last resort

only 10 more days until the birthday
& 9 or 10 until amanda can chill. <3 it.

Sun, 13 Mar 2005 05:59:20 GMT

today was okay.
went shopping with mama dukes. got 2 pairs of shoes - pumas & vans slip ons. & my mom said i can order my diesels. <3333 got 2 purses & burberry purfume. came home, got picked up, went to wendy's, got pierre,went to kenny's, played soccer & rode bikes, went to wawa, drove around, -i don't remember-, wound up at d&d & got kicked out as usual, went to qc, went to larry's basement, drank sake which is gross as fuck! & i am a lightweight. maybe if i was asian it would be better, whatever, then wound up at dan's & came home.

hopefully tomorrow i will go out.
i smell nice.<3

Tue, 08 Mar 2005 21:19:14 GMT

things are a tad bit better.
i have the computer back which is nice. i should be getting my phone back tonight, also nice. i'm allowed out [but not right now cause of the snow] so that's hella nice.

amanda's grounded until june which isn't very nice at all. everyone i know is talking about freaking prom & that just makes me sad cause i know there is no way in hella i am going to have a date so it's pointless for me to even make a dress. prom's probably going to be gay as hell anyway - i just want to get dressed up & drink afterwards, but i promised amanda in like the beginning of the year. but i need to start making my dress soon ish. also, i am in the mood to drink & i have my own alcohol but i have no one to drink with. whatever.

i think too much.

yesterday was gorgeous. & fun.
& now it's snowing. mother nature can suck my cock. i want it to be spring.
i want tank tops & teeshirts & bright colors.
i want it to be the weekend.

Wed, 02 Mar 2005 04:20:59 GMT

1. Open your media player
2. Put your playlist on shuffle.
3. Write down your favorite lyric from each song played.
4. Have your LJ friends guess the song and cross it out when they get it right.

01. we're force fed pop cultures shit. we’re staying up late thinking “what the fuck is this?”.
02. ~~the tick tock of the clock is painful, all sane and logical. i want to tear it off the wall.~~
03. ~~i could be your carpenter, & you could be my twinkling north star o'er the desert sky.~~
04. when they've hurled every gutted couch cushion from the living room into your fathers swimming pool, you're bobbing chlorine apples in the broth bucket of envy's gruel.
05. ~~one day i'll be wondering how, i got so old just wondering how, i never got cold wearing nothing in the snow.~~
06. try to think about all the warmth & anything that ever helps you out is gone
07. you're the only thing that i love , scares me more every day.
08. ~~i got bitches in the living room gettin it on' & they ain't leavin til' six in the mornin'~~
09. ~~i laugh at the thought of sniffing glue cause i got straight edge.~~
10. we'll make our escape like the end of casablanca, taking off from a dark runway with nothing left to lose.
11. what a tacky sunset, what a vulgar moon. play another charming rodgers & hart tune, how fucking romantic.
12. ~~i ran over some old lady one night at the county fair; & i didn't get arrested, because my dad's the mayor.~~
13. hey, we won't be coming home today. so we stole our breaths, locked our lips,
slipped fucking tongues, & gave out "i love you with all my heart's" . who's gonna miss us anyway?
14. ~~punkers should be pale & pasty. the pizza here is fierce & tasty.~~
15. admit it's not all bad, it's almost like a real cheap high. till you get knocked on your ass thinking you can fly.
16. i could be another fool or an exception to the rule, you tell me the morning after
17. ~~you're so cute when you're frustrated, dear.~~
18. people—they don’t mean a thing to you, yhey move right through you just like your breath.
19. ~~first spot we hit it was my liqour store, i finally got all that alcohol i can't afford.~~
20. jesus knew only judas loved him enough to know just how to fuck him.

Sat, 26 Feb 2005 14:19:46 GMT

i already wrote a myspace blog so why bother copying.

today amanda & i are going to my baby cousin's first birthday.
& hopefully doing something after. someone buy my taste of chaos ticket.

Sun, 20 Feb 2005 19:10:49 GMT

quick entry while waiting for larry.
i guess i'll just start with friday. bob's house was the party house for the night i saw a shitload of people there that i didn't even think i'd be seeing. it was crazy. i drank too much & i wasn't aware of anything.[sarcasm] i especially love hanging out the next day & hearing stories of the things i was doing when i really had no idea. fun! i totally love seeing pictures of me passed out cold halfway underneath a coffee table. & people getting pissed at me for doing absolutely nothhhhing. i think [/sarcasm] danielle lost a shitload of money cause she made a bet she would hook up with someone. which i guess technically she didn't hook up with "someone" she hooked up with multiple people, i dont know if that counts.

yesterday woke up at edgar's after forgetting how i got there. but whatever. diana picked me up & i came home for 10 minutes to shower & then we got greasy food, picked up danielle, went to the mall to meet kenny, mega, justin & his g/f shelly?then to larry's, walmart, the mall, wawa, etc.

EDIT
i sort of ended abruptly so i guess i'll just add a few things. like pictures but i am leaving them up for a little cause i dont want to fuck over daisy's & pierre's photobuckets.

me [passed out on] paul, daisy, & jesse. who knew?!

daisy & edgar!

jesse, allyson, pierre, daisy, amanda

larry, pierre, amanda, allyson, danny

sabo & dan

part of paul, danny, allyson, amanda, daisy & jesse

amanda, allyson, kenny & krystina on top

dan & nick.

it seems that more & more things keep piling up that i dont remember. not knowing what i did is making me uneasy. i will never in my life drink as much as i did that night. jeez.
if you should know of any of my crazy antics IM me (if i can get on to aim since my computer is broken) or text/call me.
or text/call me for fun! since you know the computer is broken.

it's all snowy out, i guess i'm not going to staten island tomorrow. :[ i wanted tartufo (sp)

Sat, 05 Feb 2005 04:44:51 GMT

highlight of my night...
amanda & i driving larry's car ;]

update

Fri, 04 Feb 2005 02:47:46 GMT

so what is it now, five days until report cards?
five days until my parents murder me?
[pizza hut round 2]

considering i failed english [again] & failed chem. & who knows what happened in gym since i never change my god damn clothes - that's probably a d. probably a c in tv. a c in history. a c- in french. a c+ in math. & horrible grades on my midterms, i think the odds of me living are slim. & there's fact that my report card will say i have been absent 32 times because i am too lazy to sign in when i am late/miss homeroom because of my morning cigarette. i am very very screwed. which is horrible because i am mega-depressed when i am grounded & the past month i have not, for the most part, felt sad because i have become better friends with people i love. & then parent teachers - oh god

i have resolved to do much better & hopefully become more organized. amanda, krystina & i made a pact to help each other with our classes. jill d & i are going to study for hspas together because i am not going to fuck this up. i am not going to cut classes anymore or only do 10% of my homework & i am going to study.

tomorrow is hybrid mix friday. <3

my keroac poster just fell

Fri, 21 Jan 2005 00:37:43 GMT

things lately have been pleasant.
i feel as though a lot has changed, & i suppose it's true. whatever. i do enjoy myself. so i am going to try not to dwell on anything negative.
i spend 90% of my time with amanda &/or pierre. i see my cousin & jillian frequently . "the goat crew ['you know, like goatwhore']" frequently. & random other people once & a while.
i find that i am more talkative & i also act more like a 5 year old & i am probably more annoying - but yet again, i enjoy it.

i could sit here for an hour & type out stories of what i've been doing for the past however many days but i'll put a little random list.

amanda. pierre. danielle/"baldy". jill. 27. edgar. joe. red bank. larry's house. sing-a-longs. 180s. snow. nunzios. knocking on windows. diet. humping edgar. pank. car rides. lucy. cutting my hair. rumors. d&d. quick chek. mash potatoes. spice girls. johnny on the spot. etc. etc. etc.

tomorrow is ~~freaky~~ something with an "f" that is synonymous with drinking/drunk friday & sleeping over jill's. so after school i am going to see if my cousin or danielle [the senior] want to do something. before that or possibly want to drink with us. IF WE FIND SOME PLACE TO DO IT THIS TIMEEEEE & i have to get my gwar ticket with danielle sometime this weekend since dan cannot go.

yep. uhm, i don't believe i have anything else.

Tue, 11 Jan 2005 22:27:50 GMT

i've been ungrounded (aka "on parole") since thursday.
& the majority of the days out of my house have been memorable & enjoyable & i love the people i have been hanging out with lately. <3

short rundown that you probably wont understand.
thursday: danielle + jess + liz + d&ds.
friday: amanda + pierre + debbie + allyson + two random boys + pank. amanda + pierre + larry + 27 + a shit load of other things, like really fast driving. more pank.
saturday: nyc + pierre + amanda + ally + larry.
sunday: diana + quiznos to see jill + justin, joe, jess & edgar + kim + 27.
monday: danielle + pierre + edgar + joe + ice cream! + a date with pierre + video games at amanda's + steamy romance novels.

things are very good.

Sun, 26 Dec 2004 17:12:54 GMT

so last night was pretty good. family came over, i played anti-social & only talked to danielle.

inventory
dvds:
a clockwork orange
trainspotting
edward scissorhands
family guy volume 1

books:
trainspotting
the acid house
breakfast of champions
fugitives & refugees: a walk in portland, oregon

etc:
crimes & burn piano island burn
a very pretty ring
200 dollars
argyle gloves & scarf

afterwards, danielle & i called some people & it ended up being me, ouch & this girl caitlin.
went to dennys. got my finger bit. :{!!! justin, kim & diana showed up. we left. went to danielle's, went to boro hall. sat there & whatnot. then i called strauss back but he was sleepy & wanted to go home & nick & larry were "probably sleeping", so he said maybe he'll visit me today since he is obligated to. so anyway, after that we went to dunkin donuts & kim, diana & kenny showed up. then we drove dan home & then me. & danielle said she might stop by after work. so yay. my mom is being a fucking bitch again.

Sat, 25 Dec 2004 18:08:45 GMT

christmas is gay i hate it.

last night was good in the beginning. i enjoy the people i was with.
my cold got worse, i'm guessing that jumping on ice & standing at the skatepark in the freezing cold with strauss & dan was a bad idea.
jill didn't come through with what i really wanted for christmas (jill you should understand what i am talking about)
i got a 20gb ipod though.(which is so close to what i just refered to .. but not at all) & two camis, two sweaters, a lady bug watch thing that's gay that i pretended to like so my mom wouldn't be sad, perfume, an a&f gift card & two makeup kits.
it all got "thrown away" because i was smoking in the bathroom & i denied it without thinking.. damn my first reaction. so my mom is mad i lied. she should just let me smoke in my room & then these silly problems would be solved.
we got in a big fight because i threw my cigarettes at her. which sounds more amusing now then it actually was.

i then proceeded to break my toe & sprain my ankle. awesome.
merry christmas

Tue, 21 Dec 2004 03:27:33 GMT

so i guess i'll update cause i'm bored.
today was entertaining.
before homeroom i sat in the bathroom with kimmy & the usuals. was told what's up. (feel better kimmy)
then we went to sign in & met up with kenny & jill - it was like a little late to school party.
first period, i didn't bring my book so i did nothing but write diana a brief note.
second period, we watched eric's skating video & i think i was the only one who enjoyed it - much in part to the boy in the chick pants.
third period, my teacher is still absent. it's been like two weeks. i colored.
fourth period, everyone had to sing there songs, dan, jenny & i lost our lyrics so we did not sing, we just watched everyone else make fools out of themselves.
fifth period, lunch. normal. made plans for the 27 party & whatnot. duraflame logs. 40s. vodka. yes'sir-e. should be a good time.
sixth period, slept.
seventh period, sat with dan (ouch) on the mats for the majority of the period. got told to quit smoking because it is "unattractive". ouch got hit in the face with a ball & his voice went all silly - it was amusing.
eighth, cheated on my chem quiz. hullo only two wrong!
after school i was waiting outside with jill in the freezing cold & our bus wasn't there yet so we called mike. while we were waiting for him to show up we talked to fugazi guy. HE'S NOT LEAVING. HEART HEART HEART. haha, i love him. i wish he didn't like penises. </3

Tue, 07 Dec 2004 03:33:21 GMT

i haven't been writing, myspace is sooo teh new el jay.
but since i am procrastinating & not doing my paper... i might as well.

i've been grounded. haven't really hung out with lisa, jay, jess, edgar & liz in a while. & that should change right now. i miss fridays.
got my hair done. i want breakfast foods. & a pack of mml - granny cigarettes suck my cock.

ok, i'll just simply put highlights from today since i cannot remember much else.
+ everyone enjoyed my hair. (for the most part. people lie lots)
+ some little black girl asked if i modeled (?)& insisted i should.
+ dan huddled in the lab thing while i took my chem test.
+ i swear to god i saw someone's brother - i swear it was him.
+ i really do enjoy the fact that i've become more talkative.
+ i enjoy sitting on the floor of the bathroom smoking cigarettes & having girl talk. <3

- random people touching my fucking head. yes, my hair does feel like hair.
- my paper is due wednesday & all i have written is "pol pot was born"
- i cannot stay awake for the life of me.
- jill informed me that i am weird 'cause i listen to "un-scene" bands & this is apparently not allowed.

Fri, 03 Dec 2004 03:32:49 GMT

today was good.
i got fifty dollars from the auntie,
my parents did not go to ptconferences,
& i'll probably be allowed out this weekend...
if people make plans with me. which may or may not happen.

Wed, 01 Dec 2004 05:05:39 GMT

this grounding thing needs to end - nowish.
but it won't 'cause parent teacher conferences are on thursday.
i wish i wasn't so dumb.

Thu, 25 Nov 2004 00:23:54 GMT

my mom was not thrilled with my report card.

yay grounding & no computer or cell phone.

Tue, 23 Nov 2004 23:48:01 GMT

i have a horrible memory...
so the past two days i have just been lounging around....
yesterday i skipped my morning classes & went to danielle's house. we just sat around & smoked cigarettes & watched finding nemo. went to school fourth period, talked about gwar & salad fingers with dan. we want to get a bunch of people in a van & drive down to washington dc & see gwar. lunch was gay - my lunch table was talking about throwing me a faux-baby shower. yeah, amusing. then i went to math for 30 minutes & left & then jill & i went to "guidance" for 7th period. & eighth period was filled with cookies, & more gwar & more salad fingers.

last night i got sick, so my mom didn't even bother to wake me up this morning.
tomorrow is report card day & i am not excited.

& i just got a letter from some bitch in spain,
who was supposed to write me in 9th grade. cute.

i can't make it on my own ...

Sat, 20 Nov 2004 16:32:50 GMT

okay so vauge, stupid entry.

last night/this morning was a good night.
even with cramming four people in the back of a neon.
even with being a pussy with diana & erin & missing out on the fun.
even with feeling like i am fucking myself over royally.
even with feeling that i am making more problems for someone & fucking them over too.
even though i can't control the shit that goes through my head, & the horrible guilt i have.

last night consisted of:
smushy car rides. tom's river. pank. seeing some people i haven't seen in a long time. the slaughter house. shnookums'. falling asleep. going out to breakfast. "date my mom" & bay watch. freezing. too many cigarettes. & insanely good company.
i really love the people i have been hanging out with lately.

tonight is the bouncing souls show.

Wed, 17 Nov 2004 03:43:21 GMT

i really enjoy my company.
i am glad i started seeing more people lately.
especially the two i saw tonight.

tonight = good. <3

Sat, 13 Nov 2004 05:21:29 GMT

tonight wasn't too bad. i stayed at home & watched movies with my mom, made stupid jokes, & painted our toe nails.
i'm allowed out tomorrow which is nice. my mom is taking me shopping, & then i must contact lisa about getting my stuff out of her car & call jill about the party. (which i am having total second thoughts about)

i've decided that i just hate too many people to ever have fun.

Fri, 12 Nov 2004 01:16:05 GMT

so yesterday was quite nice.
& i'll skip school because i have a horrible memory.
after school i can home & fucked around on the computer & then fell asleep on the couch.
lisa ("amanda") called & asked if i wanted to go to vintage vinyl & i surely did. went there, bought the xiu xiu cd (which i now remember i left in her car. skaja!) & she got the new rilo kiley & the new le tigre cd. both of which are good. then we came home, got me smokes (also in lisa's car) & stopped by joe's house.
edgar & joe were playing halo2 (grrr. want to play so bad) & jen b, krystina, lisa & i played with the camera & then we headed out to ruby tuesdays where we met jenny & diego & lisa & i shared zucchini & brown rice pilaf. <33 blah blah blah silly conversations. afterwards went to justin's where kim, justin (obviously) & mike howard were. that was slightly interesting. went outside for a cigarette. came back & lisa was like, "where's joe?" & i didn't know & she thought he was outside with me. so we left & went on a joe-hunt. which scared me for one reason or another. found him by the high school, cause he fucking speed walks. after that we got money from lisa's parents & went to pank. i am such a little kid it's ridiculous. so obnoxious. lisa got my boobs & neck wet, & some how i am still amused by it. water fights are cool. lisa's man showed up, & i approve because he is adorable & isn't fond of someone i dislike. (yay)
my mom called at 2:30 & yelled at me, so i told her i fell asleep. i am currently grounded. hopefully that doesn't last long & ends very very very soon - like tomorrow, or saturday.

today i babysat. had to walk to baby around for 45 minutes to an hour. which i am not used to. & then i raked my aunt's yard for an hour. my back hurts :[ but on the plus side, it's exercise which means 'fuck you pudge' wooooo! came home at 4, with 40 dollars in my pocket oh yeahhh. & i haven't been doing much of anything since then.

Wed, 10 Nov 2004 23:58:48 GMT

i love how i can talk [think?] myself out of doing things i want to do.
like leaving my house.
or going to the party saturday.

i'm so cool.

Mon, 08 Nov 2004 23:47:08 GMT

i went out to breakfast this morning...
& the rest of the day was quite interesting.

but i'm lazy.