tooo much to do, too little time.

so i basically bombed my aerobics final, which was a set of dances we had to perform infront of the whole class. i didn't show up yesterday when we were give the whole day to practice because i can and im a bitch like that. haha, jk. but i think my groupmates really did think i was a bitch, i was the odd one out in a group donning color-coordinated workout attire. my group practically blamed me for their errors when i was the one who held things together while they blanked out and were outrageously dorky in the center of the aerobics room.

kristine's such a bitch. kristine's such a bitch. kristine's such a bitch.

haha, that was from laguna beach. anywayy.

there's too much things to do, i swear. i have 3 and a half months of summer and halfway's already gone past. but im not halfway yet through the things i ought to do!

list. things to do before summer 2005 ends:
1. 115 lbs. diet myself thin.
2. run. run. run.
3. go to the library and check out a GRE book.
4. finish the reading list.
5. settle down on career plans.
6. FIX my now-fucked-up circadian rhythm. (i sleep at 2 am, wake up at 2 pm.. shittt)
7. read as much world lit as i can with the help of my anthology.
8. go to MOCA/LACMA/Getty.
9. write at least 2 short stories and some poetry.
10. finish a decent curriculum vitae, if anything.

i'm stressing over the GRE-- which is the graduate school version of the SATs. i fucking need to ace it. damn damn damn. GREs would consist of passages from books that you supposedly have read throughout your undergraduate career... and i feel utterly lacking. i feel like a freshman in this case. i feel soooo rushed, damnit.

then there's the vast array of stuff i want to read. is there a shortcut for reading? because i really want to read soo damn much but i read pretty damn slow because i have the habit of actually absorbing words and looking shit up in my handheld dictionary because i'm obsessive-compulsive like that and i'm always at a loss because i keep on imagining what will happen if the events in the book actualize in reality and that means im always caught off-tangent and i always overwhelm myself with things and if there's two things i miserably fail at, it's organizing my things and ranking my priorities which are pretty much screwed-up in entirety.. and i fail at sensitivity and emotions and i hate my utter disregard for others and how i'm so gungho on my hang-ups and i hate how at times im so tactless but at other times im so laconic and im obsessed with the things that stress me out because i'm a fucking masochist like that and i could go on and on and on forever about the things that i fail at and wash my dirty laundry in my backyard in the process and i think one of these days the skeletons in my closet are going to swarm over me and i need to let things out and sometimes i wish i can just run and run and run throughout the summer up to the last summer day and until the west coast sun absorbs me little by little, pore by pore, whenever will that be.