- Today was eventful:
- February 4th, 2011
I got tested for hiv/aids today. The chance that i actually have anything is so infinitesimally small that it probably won't matter. But I found out someone lied to me, and wasn't QUITE as faithful as he promised. I'd rather know, just to be sure. The entire process took around 45minutes. I had to sit down with a counselor, and discuss IN GRAPHIC DETAIL my sex life. I told the truth about everything, and she was very reassuring.
On top of that, one of my best friends for years completely cut me out of his life.
I'm not quite sure how i feel about it, yet.
Honestly, it's probably for the best, since he is actually insane. By definition of the word.
I just don't like that i could be THAT wrong about a person.
Put that much time and effort and energy into something, only to have it turn to me being used, and the situation turning into total shit.
I never want to give up on people, even if they give up on me.
School is a bit cripplingly busy lately. I'm getting A's in everything, which has never happened before for this long in my entire college career. It's satisfying, in an exhausting sort of way. Regardless, I have one more year after this. Then.. there are a few options of what I'm going to do. We'll cross that bridge when we come to it, though.
My job is interfering with my sleep. Third shift is never fun for very long, and something has got to give.
I can't sleep for more than 2 hours at a time anymore.
I miss sleep. I really fucking do.
And finally, I'm applying to go to school in Japan from May-Jan. Two different universities, that will involve living with Buddhist monks on a mountain, psychological/anthropological study, and an intensive language program that SHOULD make me mostly fluent.
I need to finalize everything this weekend if I'm to make my deadlines.
I hate paper work and red tape.
But i hate being stuck here in this shit hole more.
With nothing but a feeling of dissatisfaction that creeps into me given the slightest chance or provocation.