La femme ne sait pas separer l’âme du corps

eyeswideshut__ @ 2008-10-06T22:48:00

2008-10-07T02:52:05Z

I hear her mundane grief but don't understand a word.
The language she cries out in has been buried long before.
Her photo in my wallet and the concrete felicity of her eyes.

My heart is in anguish.
I cannot discern between this haunting wallowing
sorrow soaking through the walls
and the ease of a twenty-three year old
that once kissed the lens of a camera unforgettable.

Poison the Well

2008-09-25T04:24:44Z

I'd sit there and listen to the words not the music
compare the stories
I really hardly heard the bass, the drums, the guitar
only the voice

One was about
growing accustomed to seeing the sun in a different location
another song about
making up scenarios that weren't really there,
looking for reasons to be unhappy
a third of
every word you said affecting me and everything smelling of you
the fourth said
I need to hear your laugh when I'm dying on the other line
and
it's been a long time since I've seen you from above
and
your voice as beautiful as the sounds of waves

But all I want is
to see in your eyes in to stare in clear skies

No clouds to trail. Me.
Anymore.

eyeswideshut__ @ 2008-09-23T22:25:00

2008-09-24T03:04:40Z

sandalwood teases
like a slow lullaby
comes out at 12 AM and
doesn't leave until 9

the blinds are neat
in their horizontal state
but tainted by the bottles
placed in front of their way

you've decorated this room
but desecrated yourself
these things that we yearn
won't come here again

even after smoke becomes air
there is the memory of smoke
i sleep with your memory
when i'm awake the most

eyeswideshut__ @ 2008-08-17T15:50:00

2008-08-17T20:00:29Z

Life is a house. It depends on which doors you push what will be laid across your path. There is an endless count of rooms or floors and sometimes people never get off the elevator at all. Some live in the basement and some will walk to an unknown rooftop - no matter if it exists. They just keep in walking up there.

I went to bed in one room and woke up in another. No noises, but one - the walls either echoed with my heartbeat or the sound my eyes make when blinking, that heavy weight and fine line between not being able to open them and not wanting to. A few minutes before it always happens, my body will pulsate with shivers, my hand reaching for the other one and taking its palm like a fragile stone. Hardships cannot leave you weak. In the best words, I have been on a constant lookout for a reminder of these soft spots in life - and it is when you find an entity that is entirely frail and beaten down in its most natural state, that you see the complexes which you carry as a blessing and not a curse. It's this possibility that does not break my heart. Anything can happen at any moment.

One might think that relationships between one person and another come from the spontaneous occurance of having met in one of these rooms. But my sympathies lie with those I see in the corridors. There, within the midst of it all I feel harboured. When you are in that corridor with me, you will never be alone. If life is a house, we will be its hallways.

eyeswideshut__ @ 2008-07-18T19:58:00

2008-07-19T00:46:10Z

Sample me and leave me then
beckon me
to stay

Long after
your face found a niche on my stomach
your eyes have bathed with the sight of body

I saw the cracks in your skin palliated
so thankful for water after such
drought

I understand we can't all stay wet
like the fish we envy

Love is

2008-07-17T06:19:18Z

a drink with a lit cigarette
Love is your mouth that's holding my breath
Love is your hand that covers my breast
Love is the only soldier left

eyeswideshut__ @ 2007-06-17T13:02:00

2007-06-17T17:16:26Z

Time slows down when you look at me

Maybe it's time to move on from this journal, and begin to uncover what I really want to say

eyeswideshut__ @ 2007-04-22T23:24:00

2007-04-23T03:25:07Z

My limbs sink
my mouth is parched,
my body trembles,
the hair bristles on my flesh.

The magic bow slips
from my hand, my skin burns,
I cannot stand still,
my mind reels.

I'm stumbling into you

Everett Aires

2007-04-17T04:48:18Z

Everett Aires September 10, 1988 - April 16, 2007

Passed away suddenly as a result of an automobile accident on Monday, April 16, 2007 at St. Mary’s Hospital at the age of 18.

Loving son of Kathryn Aires and Mario and his wife Lori Aires all of Kitchener. Dear brother of Mitchell, Derrick, Alainna, Marissa and step-brother of Chris Costa and Michael Costa. Everett will be missed by his grandparents Antonio and Maria Aires and Connie Smith and many aunts, uncles and cousins and his special friend Alana Scott.

Ev graduated from St. Mary’s High School and was working at Loblaws Distribution Centre for the last year. Ev enjoyed life to its fullest and loved to laugh. Ev will surely be missed by anyone fortunate enough to have been touched by him.

I'm so exhausted I've become numb. I can't feel, but somehow he is sitting right there next to me. I'm so tired of today. The shock precedes the heavy pain of grief. I miss him so, so fucking much already.

eyeswideshut__ @ 2007-04-08T14:29:00

2007-04-08T18:32:32Z

I just went on a ten km hike. It feels so good TO BE FIT!!!!!!

eyeswideshut__ @ 2007-03-12T16:30:00

2007-03-12T21:08:18Z

If a day won’t come
When the monuments of institutionalized religion are in ruin
…then, my beloved,
then we are really in trouble.

eyeswideshut__ @ 2007-03-02T01:04:00

2007-03-02T06:05:20Z

Sorry for the X-posting
What's the CHEAPEST way for two people without a vehicle to get from Kitchener-Waterloo/Toronto to New York City?
CHEAP!!!!!

My childhood in one video

2007-02-27T05:54:21Z

If you know who this is...then I'll make you dinner.

eyeswideshut__ @ 2007-02-24T00:49:00

2007-02-24T05:57:47Z

eyeswideshut__ @ 2007-02-08T21:07:00

2007-02-09T02:09:23Z

Mann oh mann, ist diese Art "American Idol" viel lustiger in Deutschland...

Get ready for Mr. Looove!
http://www.videotube.de/watch/19556

eyeswideshut__ @ 2007-02-08T17:02:00

2007-02-08T22:04:17Z

Anna Nicole Smith is DEAD? Why does this seem so unreal?

eyeswideshut__ @ 2007-02-04T17:38:00

2007-02-04T22:40:00Z

Es gibt nichts, was mir wichtiger wäre als Harmonie und Glück in meinem Leben und nichts was in meinem Leben zerbrechlicher sein muss. Ich liebe jeden Tag, an dem ich lachen darf und verfluche die Stunden, in denen ich nicht weiß wohin mit mir. Und wenn ich nicht gerade zuviel über alles Mögliche nachdenke, dann versuche ich den Menschen auf die Spur zu kommen, die mir mehr bedeuten als ein Lächeln. Wenn ich an Schicksal glauben könnte, bin ich wohl ein typischer Krebs (nicht zu sagen dass ich errlich Waage bin) dem nichts eine Bedeutung abringen kann, außer das eigene Glück. Aber immerhin - ich lerne. Langsam und stetig, aber ich lerne. Also habt Geduld mit mir, wenn ich hin und wieder unausstehlich bin und leiht mir Flügel, wenn meine brechen.

eyeswideshut__ @ 2007-01-31T23:56:00

2007-02-01T04:57:05Z

eyeswideshut__ @ 2007-01-18T12:12:00

2007-01-18T17:13:19Z

What would you do if you had one more day?

eyeswideshut__ @ 2006-12-14T12:46:00

2006-12-14T16:46:57Z

Last night I woke up at 2 AM and realized I had declined liber wrong. It's a second declension with an irregular Nominative, and I though it was a stupid fourth declension noun. I don't know how many of you will get that, but ugh, I want to cry. So in simple terms...err, simpler, I decline it with libris as the genetiv instead of libri... :(

eyeswideshut__ @ 2006-11-24T16:36:00

2006-11-24T20:36:19Z

"...hast thou not seen how they wander in every valley,
and how they say that which they do not?"

Mmm...

2006-11-12T15:13:20Z

Last size 7 = I'm not called Lady Luck for nothing. Yum.

eyeswideshut__ @ 2006-11-12T10:58:00

2006-11-12T14:58:32Z

Zapjevaj, dušo...
pjesmu što mi stvara bol
Ja tebe ljubim
a ti jedva znaš za to.

On the path to Hesychia

2006-11-05T00:58:31Z

Whoever sits in solitude and is quiet has escaped from three wars: hearing, speaking, and seeing. Yet against one thing he must constantly battle. His own heart.
--St. Antony

Lactose makes me do crazy things...

2006-10-24T01:46:03Z

and at last...