| (no subject) |
[Feb. 24th, 2005|03:48 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  happy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | bright eyes | ] |
i find no reason to write in here when nobody reads it anyway. BUT for the sake of having one, i am going to update.
for one thing: shaun is the nicest coolest guy ever!!! hahahah crushes are fun! well i woudln't call it a crush because 1)crushes are kinda like stalker-ish and i don't stalk him i actually know him, we actually talk, and 2) i'm not in 6th grade. but yeah, he is oober cool :-D oh yeah, i'm not moving to san diego for a long time. :-\
NEXT WEEK IS MY NEXT DOCTOR'S APPOINTMENT! i don't want anti-depressant anymore. i have no reason for them. right now, for once, i'm actually loving my life. or atleast liking it. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 14th, 2005|07:33 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  loved | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Stalk the Ground | ] |
FUCKING SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!
don't you hate when you write a fucking entry and you press update and then it ends up not getting posted because livejournal is a bitch and you just wasted your time writing and it just got deleted!!! DAMN YOU LIVEJOURNAL!! DAMN YOU TO HECK!!!
ROAR!!!!
well ANYWAY, things have been going pretty good lately. I'm taking my medication now which is making me feel better i think. except i've been getting these weird side effects like my heart would make like this HUGE beat and i'd stop breathing for a second. And my heart's been beating a lot like really fast lately...but that may just be due to something (or someONE) else :D <3 The only bad thing lately is I think my mom is bipolar which is some pretty scary shit. So things have been pretty damn BITCHIN lately and i think they will only get better :) aww i really think i'm in love...or something of that nature ;D
 i think thats totally going to be my new icon. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 6th, 2005|09:09 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | badger badger mushrooooom! | ] |
| [ | music |
| | llama song!! <333 | ] |
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| PILLS!!! |
[Feb. 4th, 2005|06:40 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  swollen. | ] |
| [ | music |
| | You Never Know // ?? | ] |
Okey Dokey, here I go.
I went to the hospital Tuesday. I'm definetely clinically depressed. Unfortunetely, she (my doctor) didn't prescribe me anti-depressants YET. I learned that I have a stomach disease which I forgot what it's called. It's when my stomach makes WAY too much acid and it burns a lot. Sucks! So she gave me pills for it and she prescribed me other pills for my insomnia and neck pains due to stress. What sucks though is I think i may be allergic to the acid pills. My neck is swollen, but I think iI might just be sick because it's REALLY cold right now and i always have to walk. Being ill isn't fun :( So yeah and if I'm still depressed in a month when my next doctor's appointment is, then she'll prescribe me anti-depressants. Oh yeah, and i also have to go see a therapist now. hmph. I hope medacaid can pay for it. and i think i have social anxiety disorder or obssessive compulsive disorder. oh yeah, i ALSO have RLS (restless leg syndrome) -siiiiiiiiiigh- i'm so depressed. i think i'll post a picture of me. why not.
i'm ferocious looking! talk about hardcore fucking ugly. how can anyone love that shit? honestly!? well, obviously nobody. why do i even try at life? why am i even ALIVE?  |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 30th, 2005|06:10 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | to the ham | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Weezer//The Sweater Song | ] |
Your Boobies' Names Are: Bert and Ernie
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1985 by Bowling for Soup |
"Where's the mini-skirt made of snakeskin?
And who's the other guy that's singing in Van Halen?
When did reality become T.V.?
What ever happened to sitcoms, game shows?"
You took the bitter with the sweet in 2004 - and kept laughing.
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Your Porn Star Name is: Rhonda Rimmer
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Your Penis Name is: Anaconda
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HAHAHHAHAHAH!!!! TOO BAD I DON'T HAVE A PENIS!!
To pick up bam margera: If I were to ask you for sex... would your answer be the same as the answer to this question?
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you get it? thats so great!
Which Dysfunctional Care Bear Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
bitchin! |
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| my survey. |
[Jan. 27th, 2005|04:01 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  i have an OPINION! | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Modest Mouse//Dance Hall | ] |
What is your stand on..... | Created by spyndakitrose and taken 18231 times on bzoink! | | Abortion? | I think they're selfish stupid fucking murderous whores. | | Death Penalty? | it depends on the situation. | | Prostitution? | meh. they do what they do and pay the bills. leave them be. | | Alcohol? | smirnoff baby! but beer is GROSS and ugly. | | Marijuana? | smelly and stupid. | | Other drugs? | stupid and stupid. | | Gay marriage? | isn't that an oxymoron? but i love gay guys. | | Illegal immigrants? | too much of them. | | Smoking? | deadly. | | Drunk driving? | deadly. | | Cloning? | pointless and scary. | | Racism? | RACISM SHOULD DIE! GO DIE! | | Premarital sex? | it's not as romantic as post-martial (is thats a word) but if you feel like it, then be my guest! | | Religion? | I make my decisions. my religion doesn't make my decisions. my opinion is MY opinion, and if you think i'm ignorant for whatever reason then you are the one who is.oh&fuck you | | The war in Iraq? | sad. they should get out already. | | Bush? | he's, um, the president. i don't make a big stupid deal about him. jeez. get LIVES people. kerry was MUCH uglier. but i don't care. screw dat. but get lives you losers. GET EM | | Downloading music? | i used to do it but i don't do it anymore because i think i got a virus. stupid kazaa. | | The legal drinking age? | it's a good age. | | Porn? | porn is fun! | | Suicide? | -sigh- it's sad and too realistic in my world. | Create a Survey | Search Surveys | Go to bzoink! |
hrmity hrm hrm. times 2.
please don't hate me because i have an opinion. because i love you!! whoever you are reading this! |
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| if a quiz is a quizzicle...then what is a test? |
[Jan. 25th, 2005|07:13 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  depressed as a mother fucker. | ] |
| [ | music |
| | One Love//Bob Marley | ] |
be sorted @ nimbo.net
Great. I've always wanted to be LAME.
yay?
the random quizes never lie! atleast this one doesn't :) i thank Dianogi for supplying me with these quizzes. i just kinda randomly go to his lj and there are quizzes and i take them. ANYWAYZ (with a z)...
hmm...but yeah i'm going through major depression right now. I don't want to tell you why. But it sucks a lotta. I'm officially going to be taking anti-depressants. Yippie. No Exclamation Point there. UGH i'm fucking bulemic again. It sucks hardcore cock. It's so ironic that the topic for the essay composition part of the High School Competancy Exam that I had to take today was about persuading somebody not to be bulemic. What the flip?! -sigh- but yeah, you would think by me doing this, I would actually lose weight. Note: I'm not. |
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| what a bitch life. a bitch bitch life. |
[Jan. 21st, 2005|03:22 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  my life is in danger | ] |
| [ | music |
| | I'm a Fake//The Used | ] |
what an absolutely FUCKED UP life I have. :( where do i began. well. hrmity. Last friday, everything was going GRAND. i was baby sitting so i was ready to get some mula. saturday I was supposed to do a photo journalism assignment called "The Day In The Life Of..." but i lacked film because my POO LARD mom never took me during the week and she had to take me to get film that friday BUT my brother had a physical to join basketball. so by the time she came back it was 5:10 and the Photography Shop closed at 5:00. FUCKINABUCKET. So she said she was going to take me Saturday morning. Hah! If only i knew... So I was babysitting the wee little children and they played with my brothers. They started getting roudy and Mikey was being an asshole so I called my mom's cell (her friend maxine had just invited her to her house to see her new carpet. o0o0o0o0 thats a logical reason to ruin my LIFE!) but she didnt answer. Mikey was acting extra-effed up so i just kept calling her continusously for like 5 times till she answered and she sounded all distressed. I asked her whats wrong. whats wrong! WHATS WRONG MY LIFE THATS WHATS WRONG! that...that was me talking by the way. in my head. anyway, she said that my gangster cousin had just smashed our car with a brick and broke all the windows! That cock sucker was mad at my mom after she called the police after him after he robbed us. ;_; yes, thats right people WE WERE ROBBED. He went to jail for it but my STUPID ASS auntie bailed him out. nice one bitch. nice one.so then he comes to our house with a gun and my kids im babysitting our FRAEKING OUT and i have to call 911 and im crying and i think i'm going to die and life flashes before my eyes and i'm shaking and ..and...sigh thats it. i don't want to explain it in anymore detail. So he's after us now.
anySHIT. i went to the movies on Monday. Saw White Noise with Ashley, Cassandra, Jackie, and Danielle. Cried in Terror. Went to the mall so Ashley can hit on old men. Mind you, Jackie was driving. Then we went to a cemetary. Um, what the fuck? YEAH. The graveyard was on a hill, and we went hiking down it. On the side of the hill we found a hole. We dug it up. There was a fucking coffin. We got edgy. Ashley said she saw someone or something up the hill. So we went back up to the car but (oh joy!) the car wouldn't start. YEAH, HOLY FUCKING VAGINA! I thought my life was going to end. And it was starting to get dark. "Anyone feel like walking?!" I said. Hah! But yeah, eventually it started and we went home. Cool day, cool day. Like when we were driving, we had the radio WAYYYY UP LOUD and jesse Mccartney's song beatuful soul was on and we were singing it to eachother. HAH! Gay little white boy! Too bad nobody knows I have a huge crush on him. Like...posters on my wall of him crush. BUT the posters are beHIND my dressor. YEAH. still...he's hot ::cream panties:: hah EW. Nothing today happened except that the hot jesus went behind my while i was working on something and he scared me he was all "CONCENTRATE!" ajkweghaw489hdrk! Hahaha yeah well then I went to the art class with Abe (yes yes I'm talking to him again) and i painted his hand green. That was it. Seriously. Today was fucking boring.
| J | Judicial | | E | Entertaining | | S | Special | | S | Secretive | | I | Irresistible | | C | Courageous | | A | Astonishing | | / | | | E | Enjoyable | | M | Mysterious | | O | Orderly | | K | Keen | | I | Innocent | | L | Light | | L | Luscious | | A | Astounding | | H | Haunting | | _ | |
Name Acronym Generator
From Go-Quiz.com
hell yeah, you know it bitches! |
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| oh bebe.... |
[Jan. 11th, 2005|06:55 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  you fucker. | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Schnappy - 4year old german <333 | ] |
TUTULLY wanna go to this concert. The Taste Of Chaos. Vicki showed it to me and i want to see it more and more.
 
 
 
 
She sent me "I'm a Fake" by the Used and i love it! stupid abe, it aint fucking emo.. FUCKER. your officially shunned you asshole. hmph. wouldn't even let me hold your puppy.
anyway, i'm kinda going off now about this ass hole who i used to love dearly. I might as well tell the story: -sigh-
Well I was listening to a mix CD and i was playing "Im a Fake". So i let my friends Letisia listen to it and Abe, who's been acting like a complete ASS lately i guess 'cause he's "popular" now, went up to her and he said "what are you listening to?" so she gave him the headphones. he put them on and then start banging his head violently then quickly took them off and said "boo hoo my life sucks so much i'm gonna kill myself, booo hoo". fucking COCK. So what, are you trying to say their emo asshole? You closeminded penis you didnt even listen to the lyrics for the 4.2 seconds you had the head phones on did you? You heard the screaming lyrics and automatically though "emo" and yeah EMO SUCKS THE FUCKING DICK OFF OF MUSIC but The Used is like...ANTI-emo for god's sake! yeah! you Fuck bag. Go suck your dad's dick. Your not cool anymore. |
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| I'm losing my mind! |
[Jan. 7th, 2005|09:40 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  holy poo! i have a crush! | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Ocean Breathes Salty - Modest Mouse | ] |
Just for the sake of being sane...I'm going to update.
Not like anybody READS this bullcrud anyway unless I tell them "hey I updated!"
Fucking Poo.
I dunno....I talked w/ this guy that is kinda cute at the school bus @ my grandma's house...He's really cute and all. But he seems kinda.. idk intimidated by me. He's a freshman and I'm a sophomore so I think it's just the fact that I'm older that he's all like..."whoah she's older" hahaha I make no sense. but he's really nice. And he plays guitar well-ly! The best in the school, as he says. :D cool. Lordy, and he loves Invader Zim. Can you say.....AWESOME! That's pretty much all we talked about when we were walking home was Invader Zim episodes and he showed me this drawing he did of some of the characters. He has the DVD box set. Lucky.... I've never met anyone that liked Invader Zim as much as I did or..at all! CooL! I only talked to him a couple of times. But those few times, I kinda took a liking to him. i'm such a LOSER!! :-D
//edit-poo!
Ron Weasley is your perfect match. Ron is very
loyal, he will defend you. Is someone picking
on you? Ron will tell them off. Lucky you.
Which Harry Potter character will be your boyfriend?
brought to you by Quizilla
HAHAHAHAHAH!!!! VICKI!!! RON WEASLEY!!! hahaha!
Hagrid: Your a daddy, Harry.
Harry: I'm....I'm a what?
aww good times, good times. We TOTALLY made Ron Weasley gay. I love it. |
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| I watched "My Girl" today.... |
[Jan. 5th, 2005|04:54 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  lonely | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Incubus - Agoraphobia | ] |
It made me cry so much! Nobody knows what it's like to be so young, yet have a crush on a really hot teacher! Because they end up being married, having kids, or killing themselves!! ;_; Mr. Milstein! Why!?! *cries* You were so young and gorgeous. I really miss you. I can't believe it's already been 4 and a half years since you put that gun against your head and pulled the trigger. 6th grade is what I was in. I really miss you. The saddest part is... when you died I promised myself I would never forgot your face. But...I already have. I really do miss you...
something to lighten the mood. That shirt is mine and I'm the person the shirt is wrapped around. I like that shirt :) I got it on my birthday. My dad bought it for me. It was the last time I've been to the mall. My Birthday was October 18th! Fucking shit, I've been asking my mom to take me to the mall for a month already...just to 'hang out' just me and her, like she promised we would start doing more when the fucking bitch came back. Mom is a repulsive liar. So is my dad. He says he's going to call us..blah blah blah you never do LIAR! I'm surrounded by liars. I just really hope that we go to San Diego. I wanna go home so already. Poo. |
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| If you love me...then do this. |
[Jan. 1st, 2005|10:50 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  contemplative | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Realign - Godsmack | ] |
all family members, delete the kissing and fucking ones
WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF...?
» I committed suicide:
» I said I liked you:
» I kissed you:
» I lived next door to you:
» I started smoking:
» I stole something:
» I was hospitalized:
» I ran away from home:
» I got into a fight and you weren't there:
WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT MY..?
» Personality:
» Eyes:
» Face:
» Hair:
» Clothes:
» Mannerisms:
[1] Who are you?
[2] Are we friends?
[3] When and how did we meet?
[4] How have I affected you?
[5] What do you think of me?
[6] What's the fondest memory you have of me?
[7] How long do you think we will be friends or enemies?
[8] Do you love me?
[9] Have I ever hurt you?
[10] Would you hug me?
[11] Would you kiss me?
[12] Would you fuck me?
[13] Are we close?
[14] Emotionally, what stands out?
[15] Do you wish I was cooler?
[16] On a scale of 1-10, how nice am I?
[17] Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
[18] Am I loveable?
[19] How long have you known me?
[20] Describe me in one word.
[21] What was your first impression?
[22] Do you still think that way about me now?
[23] What do you think my weakness is?
[24] Do you think I'll get married?
[25] What about me makes you happy?
[26] What about me makes you sad?
[27] What reminds you of me?
[28] What's something you would change about me?
[29] How well do you know me?
[30] Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
[31] Do you think I would kill someone?
[32] Are you going to put this on your journal and see what I say about you? |
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| a note to ungratefull poo's. |
[Jan. 1st, 2005|01:06 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | angry | ] |
| [ | music |
| | drummer boy | ] |
///FUCK DAT SHIT. I DON'T WANNA BE A JEW ANYMORE. RELIGIONS AREN'T THINGS TO PASS AROUND LIKE THEY ARE THINGS TO BE PASSED AROUND!! I'M DELETEING THE LAME JEW PART.\\\
I think all you bitch ass atheists who get a buttload of shit for christmas because your all rich, you can burn in hell coz you don't even deserve presents! why the hell are you celebrating christmas if you don't even believe in God?! Your just using it as an excuse to get presents. Have you no morals? Coz whether you beleive in God's existance or not, Jesus DID die on that cross just so you don't burn in hell. Whether God exists or not, you should be gratefull someone did that for you w/ out even knowing you. So if you just randomly decide not to believe in him, you shouldn't get shit for christmas. Because it's not about presents.
-jESs the mess |
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| Happy New Years Eve! |
[Dec. 31st, 2004|10:56 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | radio is blasting | ] |
| [ | music |
| | The Used // Taste Of Ink <3 | ] |
Ew. I am so glad that 2004 is almost over. This has been THEE worst year of my entire life. Except the fact that I met Billy West (billywest.com) This year has been a suicidal worthy year. I can't even begin to tell you the things that happened. UGH! the trauma! the...trauma... Anywho I know that 2005 will be so much better than 2004 because I'm going back home to San Diego. That itself makes '05 rock the pants of '04. And, my cousin Vero is going to graduate!!!! Atleast.... i really hope she does. I hope we go over there to see her graduation. I'm pretty sure we will.
Ack! Ranting off! I better run, but here are my New Years Resolutions:
- Be nicer to Mikey and Manuel ((my brothers 13, 11))
- Be nicer to my mom
- More outgoing!
- Join some kind of a club or sport
- *sigh* get a boyfriend perhaps?
- find my cat
- lose 10-15 lbs.
- get a job
thats about it. peace out man!
much love.
-J. |
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| Hurrah! New LJ! |
[Dec. 29th, 2004|02:08 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  geeky | ] |
| [ | music |
| | timmy is an average kid that no one understands.... | ] |
This time, I'm going to use precious time out of my life to make codes and stuff to make my LJ look coolie! hurray for me! |
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emokillah_'s journal