Been lurking for a few weeks, first time I've had a chance to post. I worked for the formerly international bookstore chain that is currently going under for 5 years (2.5 as the merch supe) and I now work for a small university in the financial aid department. My job primarily revolves around sending out mail and opening the incoming mail.

Generally, a student's financial aid package will include the option of federal loans. That means you can borrow money from the Government. As such, there's the possibility that we could get our files audited by said Government so they can make sure their money is being handled properly. This is important.

It is also important that if we send you a letter to ask who the woman w/ a different last name who is listed as part of your household, you do not write back and tell us, of course, she doesn't get welfare or social security because she is your father's girlfriend who is in the country ILLEGALLY.

WTF?!?

Our store closes at midnight.
Every night.
It's on the doors.

We announce it regularly and tonight announced it at twenty, fifteen, and ten minutes till before a rush hit.

This woman was still in the building at ten after, when we were getting ready to leave. In fact, my coworker was in the process of removing his till from the register as she strolled up all leisurely from the frozen section. She had a full cart (including alcohol, which we cannot sell after midnight), and seemed terribly put out by the whole affair of our leaving. We closed already? No way. Not possible! Why would we do that while she was still shopping? Don't we know how important her business is to the store?! We'd even turned the lights off on her! OHGOD! Heaven forbid we have timers on the lights for the front end when we should be gone ten minutes before they shut off!

We rung her up, got her out as fast as we could (somehow managed to avoid bitching over the wine), and fled for our lives. If she had dawdled even more than thirty seconds longer, she would have been locked in without a cashier.

Maybe next time we should just let that happen.

Recap: Art supply store in a busy, bustling city.

I was sweeping around the registers, about 5 minutes to closing, when a couple of girls, dressed up for one of the bars in the area, I'm assuming, walk in and shake off their umbrellas. Conversation ensues:

Me: Your blue-haired sales associate
G1: Idiot girl #1
G2: Idiot girl #2

Me: Hi, how are you! :D :D :D
G1 & G2: *look at each other and laugh, keep walking*
Me: Is there anything I can help you find? :D
G1: Um, no. *laughs*
G2: *laughs*
Me: Just passing through? :D (Our parking garage is connected to the back exit)
G1: Um, yeah.
Me: Okay...

At this point, they're staring at me and laughing at me, so I just keep sweeping.

G1: Do you have like, soda?
Me: *deadpan* This is an art supply store.
G1: LIKE I DON'T KNOW THAT?! OMG NOT LIKE I CAN TELL WITH ALL THE ART SUPPLIES EVERYWHERE!!
G2: *scoffs*

They walk away, laughing and yelling about how there are SO MANY ART SUPPLIES EVERYWHERE and how she had NO IDEA this was an ART SUPPLY STORE!!!

Me: *yells* HAVE A WONDERFUL EVENING!!! :D :D :D

Apparently they bothered my other associate in the back, who happened to be drinking a soda, which is funny, asking him if we sold soda too, in a condescending way.

I can't stand it when people ask dumb questions just to get a reaction or to get their friends to laugh. If you're not a customer, and we're closing, don't expect me to joyfully be the butt end of your jokes. kthxbye.

I'M IN UR CITY HALL WASTING UR TAX DOLLARS.

Today, I was told to work in the department head's office (about a mile away from my office) because neither secretary showed up. I don't really like working there at all. I have to haul all my paperwork, radio dispatch numbers, phone numbers, etc. there. My own office is cool - I work there by myself, but my co-workers who work in the field come by for break and lunch and are all happy, silly and friendly. There's a yard, a tree and birds. Everyone in the department head's office is unfriendly and unhappy. The phone rings off the hook because there are 6 or 7 divisions, whereas my office phone only rings for my 1 division. The girl in Trash & Recycling (G.) had the day off, so when the phone rang for her, I transferred all the calls to her co-worker, J., who is about 6' 4" and looks just like one of those Geico cavemen. After lunch, this conversation took place with me standing in the doorway of J.'s office:

J: "Why did you transfer all the trash calls to me? You were supposed to
handle them."
Me: "Because you are trash & recycling."
J: "You are the support staff. You are to support me. I haven't gotten
any work done today because you transferred all the calls to me. You
have done nothing all day."
Me: *mouth agape* "Nothing!?" (I brought 16 things to do and didn't get to
do ANY of them.)
J: "Do you know how to handle these calls?"
Me: "I accidently left all G.'s instructions in my office. (I was told
to come within a half hour and forgot a few things.) "Ummm...I'm to
type them in the log and call the waste hauler."
J: *rolls eyes* "So you left all the paperwork at your office? How
convenient. Why would you call the waste hauler?"
Me: "That's what G. told me to do."
J: "So you knew what to do and you transferred all the calls to me?"
Me: "When she trained me, there were not going to be any secretaries or
anyone in trash & recycling that day. You are here today, so I
transferred the calls to you."
J: "Get out of here. I don't want to look at you."
Me: *mouth agape again*, *laughs, thinking he is joking*
J: "You are making me angry." *slams door*
Me: o.O

About a half an hour later, a citizen comes to the office and wants G. to help him fill out some waste paperwork. Since G.'s not in, I reluctantly knock on J.'s door. I walk in and he is standing up, talking on the phone. He stops talking and looks at me like he's ready for me to speak.

Me: "There's a guy out there who wants -"
J: *angrily* "I'm on the phone." *goes back to conversation*
Me: *waits until conversation ends* "There's a guy who wants help filling
out waste paperwork."
J: "What kind of waste paperwork?"
Me: "Something he wanted G. to help him with, but she never returned his
calls."
J: *muttering angrily* "And you know nothing about solid waste. Do you?
DO YOU?
Me: *flatly* "I think you've gone far enough..."

I am 50 years old and have been working for the city for almost 19 years. I doubt he treats the other 2 secretaries like that. I figured if I didn't speak up after that last childish display, he would think he could keep treating me that way. The analyst asked me what happened. I told him calmly and he said he thought J. was just having a bad day. And that's supposed to excuse that childish and condescending behavior???

hello everyone,
I would like to know the font of this icons...

credit:w-e-n-d-a-l-x
thank you...

Time for another open letter.

Dear customers,


Please, again, cease demanding to know why gas is so expensive. All your angry pontificating makes me want to throw a cup of cold water on you to cool you off. I assure you that I am not getting rich off your bottomless gas tank. But if you insist that I hold the power to directly change gas prices, I demand that you bring me a pizza for dinner. Behold me, All-Powerful Register Monkey! I demand dinner brought to me by trained elephants and singing parrots! Do not forget the extra cheese, and those that bring me breadsticks may kiss my ring.

"It's a Vrack and Tan Stil thing."

Okay, I had Customer A--who's waiting in line with a larger order after Customer C--be nice and let another Customer B with only three things go ahead of him. Fair enough, right?

Now Customer B had two smaller items and one larger box from the bakery. And I would've rang it up with no problem. HOWEVER...Customer B just decided to butt in the middle of the order I was ringing up for Customer C--whom Customer A was behind in line--and plop her stuff in the middle of the items I had just rang up for Customer C on the second conveyor belt. The carryout--who doesn't know any better--just sees more stuff to pack, and he starts bagging Customer B's stuff up with Customer C's stuff.

Customer C gets pissed: "That's not my stuff!"

Customer B says, "But I was just getting tired of holding my stuff!"

.......Uh, you still have to wait. You don't just plop your stuff in the middle of someone else's order and expect me to wait on you RIGHTNOW!!! Customer C was in the middle of an order, and you did NOT get the go-ahead from C to go ahead of them.

If you are seriously that impatient, the service center can take small orders, and it's just five steps away from my register.




Also....to the parent of the girl who just screamed her head off for 20 minutes straight through the whole store....we all heard her. I mean, all of us heard her. Customers were complaining about it to us, the workers. There was nothing we could do about it, though. From the way your daughter was screaming, I was genuinely concerned she was hurt or something. Turned out she was just having a giant shit fit over not getting something she wanted.

LEARN TO DISCIPLINE YOUR KID, OR JUST LEAVE HER AT HOME.

No love--
--me

      I work on the front end of a grocery store.  Today, one of our college kids who was outside pushing carts came in to tell us that a couple of customers were harassing one of our cart boys who is mildly retarded .  My manager went out to have a look and there were two youngish (maybe late teens) people who were just being jerks, throwing things at him, laughing at him, basically had him almost in tears.  
      They end up coming inside, just get a couple of sodas and my manager confronts them on their way out.  She askes them to leave our employee alone and tells them that they are not welcome there anymore and to please leave promptly.  They end up going and my manager pulls in the employee to ask if he was alright.  After he was finally calmed down, he reluctantly tells her that said assholes are none other than his brother and the brother's girlfriend.
     In a world where people with disabilities probably have to deal with all sorts of bullshit, wouldn't you think that you would at least have a soft place to fall when it comes to family?   Unbelievable.
 

 Preface: I work security in a store.

Secondhand, but from a reliable source. And I may have posted this before, but it's been years and it doesn't get any less amazing.

My mother is a reference librarian. Reference librarians deal with whackadoo questions from the whackadoo general public. They are a different animal from circulation librarians, who check books out to people and fend off assholes who think they're above paying fines.

Mom has gotten some insanely stupid questions in her day, but this one takes the biscuit.

A man came up to the reference desk and asked for (get ready)

A photograph of Los Angeles in the time of Christ.

Now, if it were me, I would have told him flat-out that such a thing was impossible. Or I would have given him a stock photo of some sagebrush and told him to go to town.

My mother is a much nicer person than I am, and so she pulled out a bunch of encyclopedias, by way of illustrating that THIS was when Christ walked the earth, THIS was when the city of Los Angeles was founded, and THIS was when photography was invented, therefore she was unfortunately unable to comply with the patron's request.

The guy got really huffy and said, "Well, I didn't say it had to be a COLOR photo. Black and white would be fine!"

The fail, it is incalculable.

Background: I work at Protestant bookstore. Some background we only take one coupon per transaction. It's on all of our coupons.

Summary: A customer wants to use two coupons even though it's against policy.

i supervise a photo lab and run the front store register in a pharmacy, and this is the most unpleasant thing that's happened to me this week.

8:30pm, i'm the only one up front, and we get a mini-rush just before we get ready to close. this happens every night. two ladies come in and get in line side by side with their purchases. when they get to the counter, i give them the standard polite greeting and ask them if both their items will be on the same bill. they say yes, all is well. i tell them the total, and the following ensues.

me - heya!
lady 1 - you guessed it!
lady 2 - her sister.

me - "your total is $XX.XX"
lady 1 - "there you go! *hands me her card*"
lady 2 - "no, wait!" (she appeared to be rooting through her purse looking for her own wallet, also known as being cutesie and fighting with her sister to pay)
lady 1 - "swipe the card, girl!" (wtf? how does one respond to that?)
lady 2 - "NO! i'm going to pay!"
at this point, my arm is poised halfway up so that i could swipe the card if need be, but i'm waiting because these women are loud and a tad intimidating. finally, i just swipe the thing, and lady 2 looks resigned. that was awkward!
suddenly, i hear a beep and it my register tells me the card is declined. upon closer inspection, i figure out why: it's an ATM card, for use only with her bank's ATM machine, versus a debit card which has the logo of a major credit card company on the lower right. our registers require said credit card symbol, and i explained it to her very nicely.
me - "i'm sorry ma'am, but the machine declined your card because this is just an ATM card linked to your checking account. it isn't the same as a debit card which has a credit card company's logo on it and essentially allows it to be used the same as a credit card."
lady 1 - "no. NO! that is NOT the way this works! that is NOT how it is in canada!"
me - (oh god) "i'm sorry, but.."
lady 1 - "NO, YOU KNOW WHAT? NO. THAT'S NOT HOW IT SHOULD BE. THAT'S NOT HOW IT IS IN CANADA, EVERY CARD IS ACCEPTED EVERYWHERE! GOD, THIS HAS BEEN THE MOST UNPLEASANT TRIP! OKAY, WELL, WHATEVER, OKAY? JUST WHATEVER!"
at this point she takes her card back and hands me a mastercard instead. while the transaction is processing, she begins to speak to her sister in french (obviously assuming i won't understand her). i know a little french, and i know she was saying we were ripping her off and shit-talking me, but i resisted the temptation to call her on it in french. they leave, or so i think, and i go on about my night. about forty five minutes later, they come back in with two children and their mother, who only spoke french and kept barking phrases at me that i didn't quite catch. amid a good fifteen minutes of minor sucks, this is the one that stuck out.

lady 1 - "i need some cigarettes. which cigarettes are the closest to canadian cigarettes?"
me - "i have no idea. i'm not familiar with canadian cigarettes."
lady 1 - *sigh* WELL, THEY ARE LONG AND SKINNY!"
me - "well, we sell capris here, which are super slims, and almost every brand makes each blend of cigarette in 100/120 form, which is a longer version of the king size cigarette."
lady 1 - "what is that green one?"
me - "those are capri menthols."
lady 1 - "I DON'T WANT MENTHOLS, MY GOD! I JUST WANT WHAT IS MOST SIMILAR TO CANADIAN CIGARETTES!"
me - "...."
god only knows what my face was doing, i wasn't even trying to hide my irritation at this point.
lady 1 - "WHY ARE YOU LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT? I'M NOT FROM AMERICA, I DON'T KNOW AMERICAN CIGARETTES!"

okay, so it makes sense that you, as a canadian person, wouldn't know american cigarettes, but your american cashier should definitely be able to contrast and compare between canadian and american cigarette brands. right!

she eventually bought capri lights and bitched about it/everything else the whole way out the door. i was so irritated by her loud mouth and condescending tone that i went to the back room after she left and just took several long, deep breaths!

Dear Cashiers:
Does anyone here who works in a grocery store experience the displeasure of multiple times in a day having to smell the piss stains from the incontinent elderly customers?

When you see me struggling to find a SKU/UPC, do not tell me 'Oh! It's x.xx' ... Well. That's just fine and dandy, but I need a fucking SKU to ring it in!

Also, to the man today, who wanted me to ring the flowers in- that were 20 feet away outdoors- it's not that far to get one. What did you want me to say? 'Hold on while I pull the UPC out of my ass! :D'

Also! You saw the sign was flipped over- MEANING WE DON'T WANT YOU TO SEE IT (it's the day before a sale), and yet you insisted you get the item for the sale price, despite flipping over the sign yourself. I will not give that to you, so STFU.

Also; it is NOT my job to fetch things! I'm a cashier, so I will either get someone to get it for you, or you can get it yourself because it's a grand total (in the case of the pop) of five feet away. Heaven forbid you walk.

Cashier=/=servant

ETA: I forgot about this one! So this lady comes up to my cash, and the following conversation ensues

Me: Will this be on your HBC master card or credit card for double the points? (This is part of my job. I'm required to ask, and head office was in today. Damn skippy I asked!)
Her: NO. And I don't want one either. If you don't ask any more questions, I'll give you a prize. I come here to shop, NOT to listen to advertising, and you should pass that on!
Me: (Thinking) Oh Joy! A prize! -refrains from eye rolling, and continues on the scanning, totals and tells amount owing- Do you have an HBC rewards card? :D -Smile-
Her: -glares at like 'no you stupid cunt'-
Me: ... So you don't have one? :D
Her: -ZOMGGLAREOFDOOOOOOM-
Me: -Skips that part- Have a fantastic day!

Dear sir...walking up to me, and answering my "How can I help you today?" with...

"Every time I come in here all of you are just standing around with your thumbs up your asses. Show me the printers in the ad."

Does not get you the full customer service experience. In fact, you get shown the printers in the ad...and left to figure out the differences on your own. Have a good day. Die in a horrible fiery three way explosion with someone who raises pit bulls for fighting and the guy named in this next bit. Lots of anger, me.


I can't find a link, so it must not've been put in the papers yet...but a local Shell/Grandy's station (Alvarado, TX) employee got shot Wednesday night in a robbery. From what I read on the Reward for Information sheet (sponsored by Schepps!) the employee's in critical condition. So...ye-ah....*sips from mug*

One of my good friend's favorite WTF stories.  She works in a book store.  There's all kinds of fun to be had there, but this one above and beyond took the cake.  

A lady came in looking for books on American Sign Language.  Specifically, books on how to learn ASL.  No problem, my friend shows her the manuals.  

The lady's reply?  No no no...she wants them...
On tape.
So she can listen to them as she drives.

And then she got very upset when my friend tried to explain to her that you cannot have how to learn ASL books on tape - because as she insisted you can learn other languages that way, and why not ASL?

Anyone know a font that is similar to this? Or this actual font? Possibly for free....

( please look here )

Recap: I work at the company that Tolls, swapping all your cards.

So, today was okay for the most part. Busy, in queue for the whole day, but I didn't have a customer to complain about until an hour before the end of my shift.

Legend -
Me: -wave-
Guy: GENERALIZED, TIME SAVING LETTERS? IDIOT SMASH. >8B

( For swearing, and ludicrous. )

tl;dr: Self-entitled customers are running rampant these days. Thinks he deserves a personalized letter hand-written by me, because he was a customer for ten years. Yeah.

Dear Sir,

There actually is such a thing as a stupid question.

When you order tickets with me over the phone two days before the performance, you will have to pick them up at the will-call. You asked me what time is good to pick it up, and that is well and normal. But to then say, "Well, since I already bought tickets, can't I just skip the line?" No, because everyone else in the line has bought them too.

You, sir, are dumb and arrogant.

Thanks for your business! Now shove it.

Time for a suck from a long-tie reader, small stakes poster.

I work at a local music/dvd/games shop in England. It's a pretty standard operation, prices on the front, age ratings on the front, back, spine, etc.

It's the summer, so automatically people are bat-shit insane. To them, I write these letters:


Dear Chavvy fella,

Ah, you've cleverly run down the wrong end of the queue (the exit), and interrupted me while I am serving someone at my till. Brilliant. No, I won't help you. No. Im with a customer. No. I won't even point to the new (No.1 in the chart) "NOW 70" Which is just fucking behind you if you'd looked straight in front of your face when you entered the shop, instead of marching up to me.

Signed, DN


Dear group of summer exchange students,

You are a new type of customer, one which I do not like. Last week you all came in with your huge yellow backpacks and all bought a superman t-shirt. Fair enough, but you also opened all of the other supermen t-shirts to try them on. Why would you try on a medium superman shirt, dropt it on the floor, then pick up another medium superman shirt and buy it?

This week it is the Naruto games. We don't have many, but feel free to buy them...what's that? You want to open them? Ah, brilliant, you're touching the UMD disc part. Great, ok, leave it like that, in the metal music section. Fantastic.

Signed, DN


Dear Snooty guy,

I am familiar with elevator music. Sort of like, bad jazz, without any words. No, I do not know which cd, out of the 10,000's we have is best suited, however, here is our jazz section, and here is the CD player. Oh, it's for a fancy party? With champagne? Well that changes everything, especially as you declared your own party to be fancy. That means it's ok for you to open up 7 cd's, our of the wrapping, leaving them everywhere at the counter, and walking away with one still spinning in the player.

I will crash your party with my mind.

Signed, DN