?

Log in

Only · God · Can · Judge · Me


~Tears~

Recent Entries · Archive · Friends · Profile

* * *
Well i been through hell and back. Im not going to explain what ive been through im just gunna say i got wires holding my mouth 2gether cuz of my wonderful x boyfreind Ivan Scott Silva AKA "Casper" I had and abortion. I was homeless. And now im doing just fine. i work everyday i live n support my mother i have no boyfreind and no i dont want one. I regret the abortion everyday and my wires are coming out soon.. my birthday was 3 days ago im 17 years old.. I got 11 tattoos now and let me just say when i 1st started this i was just some lil rebel girl now im a motivated intelligent beautifal girl! almost woman! i have learned so much.. throughout being in a gang selling dope doing dope living in 50 different places and being pregnant that that is not the life style i want to live i want to be a mother a wife and a nurse one day and i am so glad i learned that now. Whew okay well i dont know who the fuck is gunna read this but if i know you and i havent talked to you in a long time HOLLA AT ME! I stay in Roswell just moved back here from Carrollton! haha! But hit me up.. Samantha Hazel
Oh and if Ivan Smith ever reads this hi! i hope u are doing okay!
I think i might start updating this thing more often.. Just to get shit out u know..
oh n 1 thing that HAS NOT changed about me is... I STILL SMOKE WEED ALL DAY EVERYDAY BABY U ALREADY KNOW WAT IT IS!
Current Location:
Alpharetta GEORGIA!
Current Mood:
high high
Current Music:
Lollipop-Lil Wayne
* * *
was up ya'll. well im thru with this live journal thing. the real reason i just got back up on dis mutha fucka was to see if my x ivan was doing okay but im thru with that too. i tried to make amends and thats the best i can do. well i went to the convention it was all good. and i brought a freind of mine with me.. his name is ivan aka casper.. if you look at my myspace you will see him. well we are together and i brought him into na and now he is in a recovery program like me and we are well.. i think we are in love. we have been dating for about 7 months. robby is still there but he knows whats up. i really think this is the one. he has a beautifal daughter who i just love to death. and he is just so amazing and he wants this na thing so bad. im at my grand sponsers house right now getting ready to go to my sponser's celebration at the compound she got 23 years clean! i got like 68 days. and my baby has like 17 days but he is getting there. i planted the seed lets just see wwhat he does with it. well imma let this journal go.. be good and be safe.. me and my lil mexican boyfreind =) yup ladies i found me a lil ese lol! are going to stay in na and live this way of life.. much love,
Current Mood:
loved loved
* * *
was hanneinnnn! im at home right now, well at ty's. i dont really know about updating this thing anymore. I think i might just stick to writing in a journal. Today has been a good day even though Cass wont get up. im full as fuck i just ate the biggest applebee's meal. well i am sober 2day and i am lovin life. Peaceee
Current Location:
ALPHARETTA
Current Mood:
crazy crazy
Current Music:
T.i
* * *
Hey!! im gunna start updating this thing more, my sponser said it would be a good idea. and writing in my journal is part of treatment so i can just print these out :) LOVE YOU MRS.BARBARA! well today was a good day.. a great day to be sober. all the drugs are almost out of my system!!! i got pimples like a MUTHA FUCKA and im gaining so much weight.. but i been smokin crack for almost 4 years so shit all those toxins are cummin out of my body. lets seeeeeee..... i went to 2 meetings today at the highland club. broke down in one, spirituality group was tonight and the pastor came over and brought jesus into my life once again. i let go of everything and gave it all to god. cuz none this shit i own none of me is mine.. it is gods i am a child of god. i am at mrs.lauries house and im spending the night over here.. that is the director of my program. 1 lady does all this hope for woman she started it in 2000 and shit. what else, my dad is about to loose his house, he lost his car and shit and i dont know what im going to do about my puppy gauge i might sell her.. but mrs.laurie said i could keep her at the recovery house but i dunnoo... my brother is looking for a job (bobby) cass just had his baby boi.. he named it atlanta. i will be seeing my mommy dis weekend :) the convention is coming up! at the end of july!!!!!! im SOOOOOOO excited. as for somethings that someone is saying to me.. i just got to let it go, i got to accept that i really fucked up in the past i just wish man i just mutha fuckin wish he could just be nice man. cuz every word hurts me, i take every word in. some people just NEED TO FUCKING SURRENDER! or however you spell it.. well journal i dunno what else to say but thank god im alive today! and sober. goodnight ya'll be easy. i love you robby.. my birthday is in 10 mutha fucking days!!!! CCCCCHHHHHEEEEAAAA!!!!!!
Current Location:
Mrs.Laurie's House
Current Mood:
crushed crushed
Current Music:
None
* * *
I have also turned my life over to god. Let go and let god. I have given god everything. i am a child of god. Yall may thing that sammy couldn't have changed but i sho have. Gangs, violence, drugs, all that shit's in my past. I am a new person.. Believe it or not.. HAPPY BIRTHDAY ADELE..
And if your reading this.. that means that some part of you still cares for me.. He knows who he is ****
Love you Stovall
Goodnight everyone, Sleep with the angels...
Tommorow is a new day, and today was a great day to be sober.
Ya girl ~Tearsx3~
Current Location:
Hope For Woman. Decatur GA.
Current Mood:
tired tired
Current Music:
El' Bling
* * *
* * *
Hey journal.. well alot of shit has changed i dumped that jail bird davo and i am back with stovall.. our 20 month anniversary is on the 28th of shit month. he is still locked up but he will be out soon he got a 10 do 3. im in rehab. well a halfway house i really hav my shit fucked up but its getting better i am in a house with a buncha grown woman most of them are prostitues from boulavard. im learning alot. im back in NA and this time im staying, i got 5 tattoos now :) lol anyways... i am starting DAC soon dekalb addiction clinic im doing better. my momma has 5 months sober. she is still staying in ghetto-ville in alpharetta. my sponcer barbara is amazing. the director of this program is amazing her name is laurie starks. she started this place in 2000. i have left all my old playgrounds and playmates. stop smoking crack and weed and doing everything else. and i am ready to live a clean sober life drama free with no one in my mutha fucking way. Ivan if ure reading this send me ure number. u no u always b mine lol ;) my 16th birthday is in 11 days!!!!!! well i donno what else to write. i have gained weight. im kinda chubby but shit at least i dont weigh 102 ne more.. lol i gained 30 pounds in 2 months. but it will b okay... im thick and seeeexxxxy.. stilll livin in the ghetto. here and at my apartment. but it straight... im the only white girl in this house. and the youngest. well be easy yall.. KEEP COMING BACK IT WORKS IF YOU WORK IT.. BUT YOU GOT TO WORK IT EVERYDAY...... AND NIGHT :))))))))
Current Mood:
ecstatic ecstatic
* * *
was good wit cha!! not shit here only got about 8 minutes till school's out
so what's been good wit cha'll?
not much here
my brother (bobby) moved in wit me and my mom'z
he and chelsea broke up !!!
my brother cass is having a baby wit his girlfreind who he lives wit
jordan my other brother is sick and shit i loveee alll them!
so WHATS REALLY HOOD YALL?
hope everyone still holdin in down for me in new york in cobb county in dekatur!!!!!! everywhurrre
so me and my boyfreind bj broke up... man o man i caught his ass cheating on meEEE!!
i still got the love of my life though
the guy that is tattooed on my wrist. .david g powell jr. my boo!
i still see h3ktik is holdin it down! guess that's it tho huh?
as i said i got a new cell phone number
678-508-4492
my BROTHER gets OFF probation TOMMOOORRROOOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
so you already no wat it is
if u like smoking big blunts and taking XANEX
hit cha girl up
got to go for now but not forever will update whenver the fuck i want
HOLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA 1111111111
Current Location:
school
Current Mood:
crazy crazy
Current Music:
THROW SOME D'S-RICH BOY
* * *
hello to all! it has been god knows how long since i have read or written in this thing. i am now in corss roads second chance alternative school. i had moved from my dads house to a new apartment with my mother in alpharetta/roswell i went to roswell high school, got kicked out :P principal tried my ass up. had to put that bitch in his place best believe. my boyfreind right now is david i have 233 tattooed on my wrist for him. he is a mutha fuckin thug that i love with all i half to love. robby is still in jail. my brothers ( cass bobby and jordan ) are all well.. cass is having a baby bobby is practically homeless and jordan is moving.much love to yall. um i got about 5 tattooss now. tounge peirced FA SHO! im in school right now.. we half to wear uniforms BLEH! anyways. 678-508-4492 to all my lovers call me! i really dont have much to say on here. i wish i did. but i dont. i think i am going to either create a new one and type in it every chance i get or continue on with this one. this one has bad and good memories all of which i really cant stand to think about.

i will figure it out sooner or later..
i really dont know how these things work so i am actually probably going to keep this..
i dont no
i love ALL yall
holla at cha girl = precious =
Current Mood:
calm calm
* * *
wow its been forever.. umm i love robby with all my heart. i have no freinds. im really sad. i hate where i live. summer is coming up im in oss right now for beating a fat bitches ass.. i wish i got to finish her off .. umm i am in love head over heels. uhh hopefully i will be moving in with my mom sometiem soon and going to north springs high school next year. FUCK LASSITER! woop woop what else. thats it 678-508-2896 mwah
* * *
its gzui zsd okay fuck him anyways lately nothing has been going on i went to court this morning and it got rescefuchled? or however u spell it and robby and stephen are still in jail ;( todays my brothers birthday n hes goin to savannah with his girlfreind ummmmm LYZ IS A FAT BITCH. and thats it for now mwah
Current Mood:
indifferent whatever this means
Current Music:
cater to you
* * *
* * *

Previous