Sherry told me that it is because I have gotten happier, that my life has been busier (as in occupying myself with other possibly "just as bad" negative thoughts) I dont have time to write. I suppose that is true. Everynight I get so tired and I just dont want to do anything. I dont want journal-writting to be a chore, at all. And I'm writting now because I'm taking a break from studying... well, not that I'm taking a break, but it's just that after I fell asleep on my desk at around 6.30pm I havent been studying at all. But I swore on my mother's life that I will at least finish my Psych205 Ch.1 study guide stuff. So, even though it is past half past twelve, here I am...
I heard my sister and her boyfriend having sex the other night, for the second time in my life. Just as I was starting to forget the first incident, they corrupted me once again. It's horrible. I dont think anyone can understand unless they had a similar experience. :(
Anyhow, school is boring and yet sooo stressful. It really sucks. Everything I am learning is overlapping with everything else. I'm starting to get really confused. did i mention that it's also all very stressful? My psych205 midterm and latin vocab quiz is this friday. Then next Friday I have my psych217 and geog121 midterms and a latin grammar quiz. Then, I think my psych217 paper is due the following week, with my Latin midterm sometime that week too. Ohfffff. But I kind of sadistically love the pressure. I dont need to think about anything else, I only need to feel horrible about how academically incompetent I am. but then once I am done with my exams I would feel better about myself. I really want to do well this year. I am trying to get an A average, so maybe I need to be working a little bit harder than this
Nikolai has been teaching me cute animal words in Bulgarian. It's the cutest. peng-vinche, del-phinche, pahti... And then I teach him cute animal words in Cantonese and when he says them he is the most adorable. We always get into petty arguments, though. We act like old people. The other day he said that he wishes that he had met me 2 or three years later, as opposed to last year. I dont know what he meant by that. It might have something to do with the time we talked about our "future" and whatnot. Not that we're planning to get married, but, at least me, I was wondering if we're still going to be together in a few months, or half a year. And Nicky really cares, but I know that it's hard enough for him to have already been "committed" to me for the past half year... And to ask him to think about the future, he just doesnt know and stuff. I understand all that, but I remember in the past he had said that maybe in a few years he'll start to find someone to settle with. (He is a guy with traditional values at heart, afterall) But well, I'll never know. I asked him what he meant by the 2 or 3 years later thing again a few days later, and he said that he doesnt know, and didnt know.
I saw Pammy today when I was coming out from Latin class. It was funny. We screamed and laughed as soon as we saw each other and made a scene. Ohff. It's really great. She makes me laugh. It's nice to know her.
Mmm, I'm going to eat organes( testsCollapse )
I havent written in a while, not even in my real hand-written journal.