|"I'm a prophet against profit"
||[17 May 2013|07:12pm]
song of solomon
and the tao teh ching, thy love
is better than wine
I'm drinking a beer,
watching cecil b. demented because it's been a while since I watched all the john waters,
gonna smoke some gb bowls in a bit,
totally gonna get some caldo tlalpeno for dinner with torillas de harina and I'm asking for chips on the side,
I might even ask for some salsa or queso,
my parents are gone to london,
but my aunt from florida should be arriving at some point to spend a week while they're gone
she has some business in the valley and it happened to coincide.
we've been chilling at my house since they left,
and I plan on continuing to do so even when my aunt arrives,
but I've enjoyed being able to go out and chill.
summer is here and I'm happy,
and trying to write,
and holding my chin up to see what I can see.
I'm almost done with this beer so I need to start thinking about eating.
I really love to dance though,
last night was a good sweat on the floor,
it's nice having someone to dance with,
but whatever man,
I often dance the best alone,
it gives me more range to traipse about the floor.
I hope to be updating more and soon.
I've returned to my recenet update style entering after every comma,
I think colon,
I enjoy changing simple structure,
so many poets I've read and had in class the last semester have no idea what the word form means.
poetry is more than some words and some story,
there are so many factors they never touch or craft because they don't know,
can't comprehend more than hey look it's a poem and I'm reading this poem and dot dot dot.
most people watch movies for the actors and story,
but there's a director,
and a cinematographer,
and a lighting designer,
and a costume designer,
and a make up artist,
and someone in charge of continuity and music and sound and foley art and people just don't pay enough attention to how many people are perfecting their craft on their own level,
and how a true artist sees more than the literal base level.
I do want to visit gloria anzaldua's grave in hargill though,
that's not a joke,
just to spill some liquor and smoke a rillo.
|lovelorn, the sheep shorn
||[09 May 2013|12:26am]
||malaise / Malays
I turned in my last essay for class this semester, and despite looking forward to this day for weeks, on the drive home my mind started racing and a cloud began to follow me. I stopped at heb to get some beer because brian was busy and demmie never answered and it was going to be 7 in a little over an hour and I can't drive after 7 p.m. now because I have an occupational license. I've been out of weed for a while, and I haven't really been out in the last few weeks, not that I would've been out if I was free because this driving situation is killing my social life. before this I was hanging out at moonbeans every other day by myself, living and loving life. I can't even drive to the corner store without fear of getting thrown in jail again. and I know it's not that entirely that's getting me down, but I don't know what it is other than intrusive thoughts that intrude for no reason other than they can feel a huff coming on. summer is here apparently, and I'm going to get back to watching movies and reading for fun and going to bed alone every night. I have two free movie tickets and I want to save them for a good movie or good occasion. I had surgery on my left wrist, 5 stitches, 2 weeks in a cast, with surgery on the right wrist coming up in a month of so. I really was hedging all my bets that I might have bone cancer because I think it would give my life some direction. I'm really going to start writing poetry again, but I think I want to keep it off of here largely, just because I tend to write something here and never return to it to edit or build upon or anything. also, as I am now, I get mopey, and I get too transparent when talking about cute smiles and how they influence the movement of cheeks and I just feel everyone always knows who the fuck I'm talking about even though who I'm talking about changes. but nothing's changed for a while for me, I'm still stuck crushing on monoliths I build in my mind, monuments to my own foolish whimsy, but I'd rather respect his space than make a move and make a fool of myself in awkward rejection. and a fool of myself there's been aplenty. after my other wrist surgery I want to start doing some yard work cutting limbs and getting things in shape. I also want to start riding my bike since I can't drive. riding back all the way to my house is going to suck, but it's pretty much the only dependable option. it's exercise too, which I want to start again because I hate my body. I should join a gym because that's where all the straight acting gay guys are in the valley, pumping iron and pumping other things. that's a joke, because I would never join a gym, I'm too scared of all the gay bros. I am going to get back into my stretching regimen, it's the best thing for me, it makes me feel invigorated. I really want a big bowl of caldo tlalpeno for lunch tomorrow. I want too many things. another thing on that list is I want to go swimming in my pool. pizza is also always good. I haven't eaten dinner so I'm going to have a bowl or two of cereal. god bless. I really want to go out, get drunk, and dance real funky in a close little crowd. I really need to relace my shoes because I've been wearing my old broke ass pair and I look like a bum. not that I would usually care about that, but sometimes I like to look presentable. anyway, yes, I'm going to eat cereal, then cuddle with my baby dog because he likes to cuddle and isn't judgmental, although a bit smelly, but you overlook things like that for love. this was all a bit rambling but I churned it out really quick, don't hold it against me, my stream of consciousness has been a little dammed.
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