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A long December and there's reason to believe
Maybe this year will be better than the last
I can't remember the last thing that you said as you were leaven'
Now the days go by so fast
And it's one more day up in the canyons
And it's one more night in Hollywood
If you think that I could be forgiven...I wish you would
The smell of hospitals in winter
And the feeling that it's all a lot of oysters, but no pearls
All at once you look across a crowded room
To see the way that light attaches to a girl
And it's one more day up in the canyons
And it's one more night in Hollywood
If you think you might come to California...I think you should
Drove up to Hillside Manor sometime after two a.m.
And talked a little while about the year
I guess the winter makes you laugh a little slower,
Makes you talk a little lower about the things you could not show her
And it's been a long December and there's reason to believe
Maybe this year will be better than the last
I can't remember all the times I tried to tell my myself
To hold on to these moments as they pass
And it's one more day up in the canyon
And it's one more night in Hollywood
It's been so long since I've seen the ocean...I guess I should

-Counting Crows





I felt a need to create a new journal and start again. I've had so many journals on here, it's annoying. I do that a lot though. Start over. I'm impulsive as hell. I'm constantly looking for something or wanting more...and I can't figure out why I can't just be content. But it gives me drive. It gives me a reason to continue. That's my life. An ongoing battle.

It starts with me. My name is Christy and I'm 20 years old. I live in Alabama, and I've always lived here. 20 years. Seems a bit wasteful now, but at least I was fortunate enough to have my family and a few special friends. I think in a few years or less...I'll get out of this place. I'll start over...like always. I'm moody. I'm a really nice and caring person, but I guess my first impressions aren't usually good. I'm plain. I don't light up rooms or make people laugh. I'm kinda just here. Usually stuck in my thoughts.

I'm married. My husband, Evan (20), and I got married on October 30, 2004. We have known eachother for about 3 years though. It was a spontaneous wedding. A month before deciding, we sorta through something together and just did it. I love him. I hate him. I love him. He's my tragedy. Honestly, most of my drama comes from him. His legal problems, drug use, etc. But it's not always like that. Those are just the obstacles. He is a beautiful person. Just damaged...








Evan and I concieved a daughter in Oct.03' but the pregnancy ended in tragedy. On June 22, 2004 (My 19th birthday) she died. Stillborn. It was a cord accident. Taylor Ashe. I was 36 weeks pregnant. Her death has obviously changed my life forever. I will always have an empty place inside of me. Time heals. Yes. But living without her is sometimes unbearable. I sorta have to just make myself deal with it. You do that or you just let yourself die. She's my angel.







I recently had a son. On December 14, 2005. His name is Corgan and he is my life. He is just amazing and beautiful. He weighed 7lbs and was 18 1/2 inches long. My blessing...












credit: temptation for Corgan blinky
credit: mommy_2_jazmyn for Corgan Wayne icon
credit: c_i_n_a for Pregnancy icon