Jessica (![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} dimthesun_) wrote,@ 2008-12-31 04:08:00 |
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First of all, you tell me you want me to come and live with you. You tell me you want my education to be the best it can be. You write me a FUCKING note telling me I can come live with you to go to school. You don’t raise someone’s hopes and dreams so high and then change your mind just like that, it’s not right. I still have the note; don't think I’ve forgotten already, I’m not a fucking child. I think the lowest thing you’ve done here is not telling me to my face, but telling my mom. Jamie asks her what I’m doing after school; “Oh, she’s going to go live with Barbie in Chicago.” “No she’s not, she can’t live with me, I didn’t have kids for a reason, and I don’t want to raise a child.” OKAY, I’d be 18; thanks, you’re smart, that’s definitely a child. You don’t promise someone they can come live with you, and then just take everything away that they’ve wanted. I can’t even believe this. I told everyone, I’m going to look like a fool. I knew I shouldn’t have trusted you in the first place, I knew I shouldn’t have gotten so excited. What am I going to do now? I’m stuck here, and I can’t get out. I have no money for living at a school, and I do not want to be here. No one understands how badly I want to get out, be free, and live a little. No one understands how I can’t take these people, this place. I need to get out and I want it as soon as I can get it. You made me think I could make that possible, and then you don’t even have the decency to say it to my face. You don’t even understand what you’ve done. I was so excited and I had everything planned. As lame as it sounds I even pictured myself there, I was going to do good things. I looked up all the information and I found out everything and I started saving up. It’s still a shock to me; it hasn’t actually set in that I’m never going. The sad part is I thought you loved me. You don’t treat someone you love like this. You don’t promise them everything they want in the world and just take it all away. Why don’t you want me? What did I do? I’ve been trying so hard to understand but I can’t think of anything. Finally something made me happy for once. I actually had a reason to do something, and now everything’s gone and I don’t know what to do. I had answers, I had my life. I bet you don’t even realize anything that’s going on. I’ve been holding this in, now it’s out, maybe I should tell you, maybe I shouldn’t. I hope you have a nice life.
