Hee, I have very many presents~ People are just trying to get on my good side and make me pay attention to them by buying me nice things, but I don't mind~ It's not going to make a difference, but I very do like having more gowns and jewelery and horses~!

[Filter: Reeve, in Atsirian]

... Ethne makes a very good case for herself, but I know if I choose her, people will say it's because she's family. But if I don't choose her because she's my family, and she's the most qualified, then that's just as bad.

Jurea is the most obvious. She's very vocal and makes her opinions very clear, but for some reason, I don't have a good feeling about her.

I think, right now, I'm paying the most attention to Saeritha. She reminds me of you, and that makes me think she knows what she's doing.

There are others, obviously, but those are the ones I'm thinking about the most. Even though it's still early.

Just for today, because it's Festival, I'm going to trust you.

[Filter: Private, in Atsirian]

... I need to make the right decision. I only have four more months to choose, and I don't know who to pick. There are so many.

It needs to be the right choice. It needs to.

They need to be able to trust me.

I need to be able to trust me.

I need ... an idea. Something.

[Filter: Private, in Atsirian]

... if it were just for my birthday, then that's okay.

I just ... I just need to make sure that's what he's actually doing.

This is all so hard. Especially doing both at once. But ...

[Filter: Public, in Trade]

Hee, that was the best birthday ever~ The fireworks display was the best I've seen, and everyone was giving me so many presents~

Cousin Ethne wants me to have tea with her this afternoon. I told her that I hate tea, but I think I'll have cocoa with her, instead~ There are a lot of people who want to see me, but Ethne is family!

Good family, not like Reiz.

Hee! It's tomorrow~

Now if Reeve would

[Atsirian]

Hee. Well. Your birthday was fine enough, Reiz, but mine is going to be spectacular~ The pyrotechnicians say that they have an amazing fireworks display planned for this year. The best yet~ That's what they say~ Hee!

I'm going to be twenty. That's very old. I remember Reeve's

And with everyone being so nice to me, I think that's going to make this birthday even better.

Everyone loves my birthday~

One week~

[Filter: Reeve, in Atsirian]

... Reeve.

[Filter: Private, in Atsirian]

Ash ...

So many things really have happened, haven't they? People change ... that's one thing I realize now. Has she changed so much that she wouldn't even write to me? Have I changed, and that's why?

... I ...

... I can't believe Reeve didn't tell me. Can I trust anyone?

[Filter: Ellisae]

You gave information to Reeve that you didn't give to me. It's the only way he could have found out.

[Atsirian]

Hee, this is so exciting~ So many people are being nice to me! It's very wonderful~

[Filter: Private, in Atsirian]

... I need to make a very good choice. Reeve can say that he convinced me to make it, but it's important to me that I pick the right person myself. But I have to keep pretending the whole time while trying to find out who that is ...

This is hard. But ...

[Filter: Public, in Trade]

Hee, this is going to be very so exciting~ The Council says that I get to chooce anyone who wants it to sit with us for the rest of their lives~ I get to choose! Isn't that just very so wonderful? I'm going to pick the best person ever~

[Filter: Reeve, in Atsirian]

Okay. I'll pretend, but there's one condition!

[Filter: Private, in Atsirian]

What does it mean, that it started raining? It put out the fire, they say. All the fire went out. It'll clean the water, now, and Reeve's stopped them, so everyone will get better, again.

... but what does it mean?





Pretend? Pretend to be smiling and happy and silly like I was? That's what people want? But I know now. I know all of it, and I don't want to pretend.

I ...

Reeve ...

It's good that it's raining. Whatever else it means, that part is good. It's raining. It's finally raining.

[Filter: Private]

How could he So

I know what he's done. I need to know what he's going to do. That's what matters.

[Filter: Private, in Atsirian]

I'm going to put it all together.

[Filter: Councillor Ellisae]

Councillor Gideon says that you know about what's going on.

[Filter: Private]

What's going on? I need to know what's going on. I need to know ...

... you can't protect me anymore, Reeve. I know there's a world. I know this is something that has to do with me. You can't protect me. You just can't. I'm the Queen. I need to know all of this.

[Filter: Councillor Gideon]

... hello, Councillor.

[Filter: Private]

This needs to be fixed, and I'm the Queen. I need to fix this. Reeve hasn't. Reeve can't.

I'm afrai

[Filter: Private]

People are sick. What if Reeve and Reiz are right? What if it's something bad? And why can't I fix it?!

[Filter: Public]

Hee, Lawrence, Rae, it looks like I missed your birthdays~! Happy Birthdays!

The rain is late.

[Filter: Private, in Atsirian]

Something wrong.

... maybe he's right.

But at least ... he only told the truth because he had to, but it's something. And he won't lie anymore. He can't lie anymore.

Does everything ever feel all right, or is everyone pretending a little bit? Maybe that's not how it is, either. Maybe you act all right and that makes you feel all right, and not the other way. Maybe this is just something else I didn't get.

I want to get it all now.

[Filter: Public, in Trade]

Um~

Hee. I do think I've been very rude for a long time. A very long time. And that's not Queenly to do~ And so I think I should be apologizing to everyone here! And quite a very few others, too~ Hee, but this is a start.