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[13 Sep 2008|09:48pm]
theres some people i know, including my self, who have trouble letting go. letting go of things and people even if they aren't necessarily "good" for us. as i get older and things in my life change i've realized that not everyone is meant to be in your life, even if you really care about them and love them. you are more important. If they bring you pain on unnecessary stress it will be better in the long run for everyone if you just let go and move on. hey im not saying that its going to be easy, but change is part of life and the faster you learn that and really accept that things will start to get a lot easier. i do believe that everyone is and has been in your life for a reason. different friendships and relationships can bring a lot of happiness and good times, but others can bring the complete opposite. the point is your supposed to always remember and cherish the good times you have had with these people, but you learn through trial and error what kind of people you want and need in your life... and what kind of people you dont. like i said that kind of thing isnt easy when you have long time friends that you love, but just dont have a place in your life anymore... what do you do? i have and still am struggling with these kind of issues because i do have a lot of friends i care about and love, but i just cant find a place for them in my life anymore and that isnt necessarily anyones fault, its just how it is. things change and people change and that is no ones fault. there are times when i miss old friends that i haven't seen in a while or i had a really unfortunate falling out with, but like i said they just dont belong in my life anymore and i have accepted that. you cant force anyone to care or be your friend. friends can be an amazing support but you cant expect them to always be there, you have to remember that you are your most important support, and you have to take care of yourself. once you have that support in yourself you will be able to be a much better friend and a stronger person. so yeah change is really hard, but its inevitable and a part of life. trust me living in the past is not worth it, and its time we all start to do some growing up...

ambivalence [23 Jul 2008|10:28am]
[ mood | ambivalent ]

am·biv·a·lence /æmˈbɪvələns/ [am-biv-uh-luhns
1. uncertainty or fluctuation, esp. when caused by inability to make a choice or by a simultaneous desire to say or do two opposite or conflicting things.
2. Psychology. the coexistence within an individual of positive and negative feelings toward the same person, object, or action, simultaneously drawing him or her in opposite directions.

oh my god... there is a word to express my life, me. i am ambivalent. without a doubt. i used to just say oh well im a gemini, the twins, two different people. hah. i am not crazy. i do not have multiple personality disorder, i am just always stuck between different choices. this is probably normal for most young adults (since i cant call myself a teenager anymore). i cant let go of the fact that im not a kid anymore and now i have to be this person who is mature and responsible and everything an "adult" is supposed to be. i really thought i was ready for this, but honestly i think i turned 20 before i was ready to. but thats life. it doesn't wait for you to be ready, it doesn't stop. it doesn't care about your past or the hardships you went through. its time, it just keeps going.

so back to my problem, my ambivalence... "uncertainty and fluctuation". i live in uncertainty every day, all day. i always question myself and the people around me. yeah i have trust issues, who doesn't? but i think this is more than a simple trust issue. i mean i trust people, i tell my friends about my job, school, the guys i see, blah blah blah. but no one really knows the inner workings of my mind and how fucked up i think i really am. i am very moody and i can change my mood at the drop of a dime. so im pretty uncertain and untrustworthy of myself. so how the hell am i supposed to trust others?

"inability to make a choice or by a simultaneous desire to say or do two opposite or conflicting things." again this relates to me on a ridiculous level. i have trouble making decisions, making decisions is scary as fuck for me. even at the grocery store i take FOREVER to decide on things i want to get. like i will take things out and put things back in the shopping cart like 5 times and then eventually not get it. which leaves me with just wasted time and aggravation. so obviously if i have such a hard time with shopping, making important life decisions is frightening. i really think that im a good actress. i can play two different roles brilliantly. the only thing that fucks me up is that i am just one person, and sometimes those roles that i play conflict and make me look like a liar, fake, or crazy. i really believe that i am none of those, but i guess actions speak louder than words. i think i am a good daughter. yeah i could spend more time with my family, but overall i believe i play a good daughter role. as you probably know, my mom is 4 years clean and sober. my whole family is against alcohol and drug use. and i am the oldest out of 5 grandchildren looking up to me. so what does that mean? i obviously have to set a good example and be that clean and sober role model for my family. so even though i go to meetings, alateen conferences, take drug and alcohol abuse classes, and talk about how drugs are so bad... i smoke weed probably 3 to 4 times a week and drink usually on the weekends while i party with my friends. now that isnt conflicting hahahaha.

"the coexistence within an individual of positive and negative feelings toward the same person, object, or action, simultaneously drawing him or her in opposite directions." now this line, is probably where my biggest issues lie. i have strong positive and negative feelings towards everyone in my life. my family and friends whom i love and respect, but at the same time hate and regret. i love to be around them but sometimes i cant overlook their faults and punish them by pushing them away or hurting them. the guy i have been in love with for almost four years is the one person i feel the strongest feelings of both love and hate for. i would have to say that he is the biggest conflicting problem in my head and heart. everyday is like a roller coaster. i love him, i hate him, i want to see him, i want to see him dead, i want him to be happy, i want him to be in pain and miserable. when i look at a picture of him i find him completely unattractive, but when we are together i cant stop looking at him in awe. i really dont understand this. like i understand why im stuck in life because im at this turning point of leaving childhood behind and coming into adulthood. so i work and work and go to school and be perfect during the day, but at night i act out and party and play with the fire of addiction.. i TOTALLY understand that. but with this fool, and my head, my heart, i am completely dumbfounded. its crazy how in 4 years so many things have changed, but this guy, this situation with him, and my feelings for him are exactly the same, well maybe a little stronger, as 4 years ago. my friends will never understand it, which is why i dont get angry with them or defend him anymore around them. i really just pretend that im over it. i dont only do it for them though. i do it for me and for him. i know that we will never be together again, and i have finally accepted that so its best for everyone if i just let it go, or at least lock it into the back of my head and never let it back out.

this isn't the beginning of all this. i really believe that i have almost always been torn and stuck on decisions and people in my life. i dont like being this way, but its who i am. i just hope that is a piece of me that i will not carry out into adulthood and maybe learn some new ways to cope with making decisions. i guess i'll just have to find out.

[14 Jun 2008|05:32pm]
[ mood | scared ]

so here i am again with this unexplainable feeling of powerlessness and its slowly killing me inside. i hate how i know im falling apart inside but i pretend like every things okay. well its not okay, and it scares the fucking shit out of me to accept that and even though deep down inside i know this im still living in denial every day. i've never been this scared before in my life. im so fucking scared that im gonna fuck up my life. its been two years since ive graduated high school and i havent really accomplished anything. i've been bullshitting my family, my friends, and myself when i say i work hard because i know that i can work so much harder. every one tells me how strong i am, but im really not that strong at all, and every body tells me what a great person i am or whatever but no one really knows the real me. no one knows that i hate my life and that i know im going to fuck up because i already have. i threw away the one person that i ever really loved for the one person who ever really loved me, and then i ended up throwing that person away too... and i still love that person who treats me worse than anyone ever has in my life while the person that has tried the best to make me happy i cant stand. i know that probably makes no sense, but some where in my head it does. i know i have family and friends but honestly i am really alone. i pretend to be someone im not because i hate who i am. and i want to change so bad and i want to do better and try harder and get through this rough time in my life but theres some part of me thats holding me back and wont let me grow, and its too strong to fight. what the fuck is wrong with me? why am i such a pessimistic little bitch that crys herself to sleep every night and hates her life so much. the reason im alone is because i dont feel like im worth loving, and i dont want to hurt or ruin anyone elses life. i really feel like if i fucking dropped dead right now it really wouldnt change anyone elses life, because i dont feel like im really apart of any ones life and my life is just a fucking lie that i make up to get through the day but when the day is over and im laying in bed trying to sleep i fucking think what the fuck am i doing. i hate my life. i dont want to do this anymore. i dont want to pretend or lie to anyone or myself. i really want to be happy but for some reason no matter how hard i try i just cant be happy. every day for over the past 8 years i wonder why my aunt shot herself through the heart and now i finally realize why.

uhhhhhh [26 Apr 2008|12:19pm]
[ mood | hungover ]

what to say, what to say. what to say.

soo my upcoming 20th birthday has really got me tripping out. like im stuck in this funk between teenager and adult. like i really want to get my shit together and start acting more like an adult, but at the same time i want to party hah. i feel like im always torn between two different things, ideas, reasoning, feelings and i hate it. haha im a true gemini. one day i will be fine and over it and the next day i will be tripping over something and missing people i shouldnt. i really fucking hate how small culver city really is ugh. i try so hard to get over it, then one day it will all come back on me harder than before. the past haunts me everyday. mistakes i made in the past fuck with my head and wont leave me alone. i wish i could just forget. all i know is that i wont ever make that mistake again.

[18 Mar 2008|10:49am]
"I guess
That this is where we've come to
If you don't want to
Then you don't have to believe me
But I won't be there when you go down
Just so you know now
You're on your own now believe me

I don't want to be the one to blame
You like fun and games
Keep playing em
I'm just saying
Think back then
We was like one and the same
On the right track
But I was on the wrong train
Just like that
Now you've got a face to pain
And the devil's got a fresh new place to play
In your brain like a maze you can never escape the rain
Every damn day is the same shade of Grey

I used have a little bit of a plan
Used to
Have a concept of where I stand
But that concept slipped right out of my hands
Now I don't really even know who I am
Yo, what do I have to say
Maybe I should do what I have to do to break free and
What ever happens to you, we'll see
But it's not gonna happen with me

I guess
That this is where we've come to
If you don't want to
Then you don't have to believe me
But I won't be there when you go down
Just so you know now
You're on your own now believe me

Back then, I thought you were just like me
Somebody who could see all the pain I see
But you proved to me unintentionally
That you would self-destruct eventually
Now I'm thinking like the mistake I made doesn't hurt
But it's not gonna work
Cause it's really much worse than I thought
I wished you were something that you were not
And now this guilt is really all that I got

You turned your back
And walked away in shame
All you got is a memory of pain
Nothing makes sense so you stare at the ground
And hear my voice in ya head when no one else's around
What do I have to say
Maybe I should do what I have to do to break free and
What ever happens to you, we'll see
But it's not gonna happen with me

I guess
That this is where we've come to
If you don't want to
Then you don't have to believe me
But I won't be there when you go down
Just so you know now
You're on your own now believe me

I guess
That this is where we've come to
If you don't want to
Then you don't have to believe me
But I won't be there when you go down
Just so you know now
You're on your own now believe me

Do what i have to do
You're on your own now believe me

What ever happens to you
You're on your own now believe me

What do I have to say
You're on your own now believe me

It's not gonna happen to me
You're on your own now believe me

Another lesson learned... [15 Mar 2008|10:07pm]
[ mood | indescribable ]

trust as few as you can, because its only the people that you trust that can truly hurt you.

i mean i already knew this, hell i learned this a longggggggg time ago but still i guess you really don't see someone for who they truly are until they are put to the test and fail.

no one is perfect. I AM NOT PERFECT. im not trying to blame anyone or point any fingers and this is not directed to anyone in particular, i just need to get this out.

people fuck up. they make mistakes. my philosophy used to be to forgive and forget. but fuck the forget part. i still see forgiving someone as a sign of strength and maturity but forgetting is another story. to forget someones wrong is a sign of stupidity and yes i was once stupid by forgetting and letting the same people use and hurt me the same way while i looked the other way and pretended like it was okay. thats just not the case anymore, im not gonna look the other way this time or any other time.

i used to think that if you really love and care about someone, you should hold on to them no matter what. again i was wrong because sometimes you love and care about people that don't love or care about you. yes that is possible. what i have also come to learn is that you can still care or love someone if they aren't in your life anymore. why keep people in your life that don't make you happy? because they already got the important life memo that you didn't, you are the most important person in your life.

sometimes people that don't make you happy really do care about you and really do love you, yes i guess thats possible. these people keep fucking up and the light bulb never comes on... why? because you don't screw it in their head that they are fucking up. why do spoiled children always get what they want, because the parents didn't do their job on setting boundaries right. its basically the same situation with anyone in your life, family, friends, lovers, bosses, etc... if you don't let them know they are fucking up they will keep doing it and doing it and doing it and someday you will crack and realize none of it was ever worth it. that saying "you don't know a good thing till its gone" is mostly the case for most people. why? because its really rare when someone can see and recognize on their own that they are wrong, that they are fucking up and admit it. thats called growing up kids and some people sadly never will grow up and will keep making the same mistakes. the true friends are the ones that can see on their own if they are fucking up and fix it, because they care. its really obvious when you care and when you don't. do you choose to open your eyes and see the truth, or keep them closed and see lies? do you care enough to see? thats the question.

i have been on both sides of this circle. i have been the hurter and the hurt. the giver and the taker. the one in the right, and the one in the wrong. the only difference between me and some of the people who used to be in my life... that i have owned up to my mistakes, i have admitted my wrongs, and i have walked away from dysfunctional relationships (romantic & friendships) that weren't good for me. yeah some took longer than others but life is a learning experience and everyone learns and grows on their own, and as i already mentioned some will never learn and never grown because they are too stubborn to admit that they are wrong, because it is basically impossible to ALWAYS be in the right. part of being a human being is having faults. so if you think you are perfect, then you are truly insane.

i really could go on forever haha im on a good one right now, trust me these past few days haven't been pretty. the thing is yeah i wish i could go back yeah i wish i could change things and not make mistakes, but the reality is that i cant. so the best i can do is admit my wrongs, forgive people who have wronged me (but not forget i mind you), and learn and change from each experience. i don't hate anyone and i have forgiven all those who have wronged me. i hate what they did and i haven't forgotten what they did but they have all taught me valuable lessons and have made me stronger. yes i miss some of them and i still care and i hope the best for them in their lives but for different reasons, some more than others, they don't belong in my life anymore. and even though i still love some of these people, i love myself more and my happiness and my sanity is worth more to me than their friendship.

if you read all this i give you props cause that was pretty long and deep haha. and if you took this as offensive because you think i am talking about you personally then think what you want but i don't care. i didnt do this for you and its not aimed at you as some kind of diss or whatever so please we could both not use the drama.

so basically,


blah blah blah [28 Feb 2008|04:07pm]
[ mood | drained ]

so basically 08 has not been too cracking for me so far. it has basically been full of too much stupid drama and too much weed. haha. it just sucks cause i have come to the realization that i cant trust barely anyone in my life. like there is seriously not one person i can tell EVERYTHING to and not feel judged or stupid. and how can i trust my friends when basically all of them dont trust me. i dont know im probably just talking out of my ass right now and not making much sense but im really done trusting people.

so on tuesdays i have classes all day. one class is on relationships (family & romantic), and we started talking about communication between sexes and how no one understands eachother and blah blah blah and it made me have this sudden urge to talk to someone i know i should of probably never of talked to again.... then that night i have this drug and alcohol abuse class, where it teaches you about drugs what they do to you etc... and it made me see things differently. i dont know... i guess ive just been noticing a "pattern" thats starting to develop with smoking and i want to change that.

so yesterday morning, wednesday, i woke up feeling "different" i dont know how to explain it lol. so i decided to build up some courage and try to communicate with that person i mentioned above. so i wrote this message saying the honest truth about where i stood... then this person decides to start drama again and get someone else involved haha its a longg story.. but anyway basically he hasn't changed and obviously doesn't want to change. now basically all my friends hate him and dont want me to talk to him and i understand why but it sucks cause i want to be his friend and have him my life but at the same time, i dont need this drama anymore and i dont need this shit from my friends.

later that day i went to a AA meeting with my mom to celebrate her being 4 years clean and sober and that was basically the highlight of my day. it was the first time i really hung out with my family in a while and didn't think about all the other stupid shit going on. and looking at my mom that night, i swear i have never been so proud of her or proud to call her my mother.

then after i left dinner with my family i went to work for this big visual change to the store. levis is so much more chill on visual than lucky was. i basically didnt do anything and im getting paid wayyyyyyyyyyyy more, so im straight =] the only thing that really sucked about work was that i got off at midnight.

so then i get off and i have 15 missed calls this text from one of my friends saying that i have another friend and her friend kicking it at my house waiting for me to get home cause they need to stay there. then i call her and she says they left and my phone dies. ha

so i get home and they arent there i call and my other friend lowkey gives me shit saying that she should have been able to kick it there and blah blah blah... so then its around 1 in the morning and i go on myspace thinking thank god today is over.. haha right....

i have this message from an old friend thats been kind of ignoring me for a while and i had no idea why... well she tells me why.. and it sucks because what happened was so long ago and that i once again fucked up, and nothing stays a secret forever, remember that.

so then i have this great little talk with someone i really shouldnt be talking to... why do i do this to myself. i basically confronted him for starting drama then come to find it wasnt my fault and blah blah blah


k now im done venting haha and i feel a lot better. i know that no one probably reads this and i dont care... i needed to get all this stupid shit out of my head.


"violins" lyrics by lagwagon. [22 Feb 2008|05:18pm]
"I am just another fool and I have to keep telling myself that.
I am just a hypocrite and I have to keep calling you one.
cause I forgot to bite my tongue and my assumption is the mother of all mistakes
as I assume the role open my mouth and clumsy words escape.
so why you want to be there when you could be here?
you are slipping away.
I awake with your replacement, a bottle in my grasp.
in an unfamiliar place because you put me out.
the butt of a sick joke into this ashtray life.
as you come and go 'cause I forgot to service you and we broke down.
and you can't live with my mistakes.
so I assume false grace, open my arms and grasp at something true.
how are you how have you been girl?
I miss you, wanna see you again.
I bring out the worst in you and you try to let me know you bring out the worst in me.
anxiety, I'm trying to let you go
you say I'm giving you the creeps, so I assume the role open my claws and grasp for your heart.
into you like a mortal stake so vindictive your love's slipping away.
violins violence, the butt of your sick joke into this ashtray life.
I'm trying hard to let you go."

found this quote somewhere and it made sense... [07 Feb 2008|06:15pm]
[ mood | okay ]

"There comes a point in your life when you realize who matters, who never did, who wont anymore, and who always will. so don't worry about people from your past, there's a reason why they didn't make it to your future."

[05 Feb 2008|08:37am]
[ mood | blah ]

three years ago i never thought i would be standing here in basically the same position, i've held back the truth for too long and i honestly believe that im truly ready for change and a fresh start.

"sometimes the beginning of the rest of your life, starts with goodbye."

so its been forever and a day... [27 Jan 2008|10:29am]
[ mood | okay ]

...since ive posted anything here. i was reading all my old shit the other day and it brought back soo many memories and i thought wtf why did i stop? i guess i thought i didnt have time?? but then i have time to waste on myspace so why not waste a few minutes here? and i guess i thought no one reads this shit anymore, but now i realize that this is for me.

so now that ive said that, haha what the fuck has been going on in my life since july? well i broke up with geoff, and have managed to stay friends with him. hmm met a few new guys that didnt quite work out for different reasons, and played with fire with an old flame, which never works out good. i think i can safely say i learned my lesson. leave the past in the past.

schools been pretty chill, ive been keeping my grades a little above average but i know i can do better and thats something im gonna work on next semester. it will be a little easier now that distractions are out of the way.

work, is work. it sucks cause i used to LOVE this job, now i dread going. i had a really tight manager and she went to levis and now i have this gay manager, literally gay, who doesn't do anything except use me as his little assistant. yeah and the fact that they hired some girl from abercrombie instead of promoting me kinda burned a little... A LOT. so i got offered a job at levis for a lot more money and less work. fuck it im out. haha im supposed to be starting there within the next two weeks =]

my family is pretty chill. haha just the same chaos everyday on jackson ave, the usual. i went snowboarding for the first time with the fam which was amazing... cant wait to go again =]] but yeah nothing too dramatic lately except my aunt relapsing, leaving her husband, kid, family, and the state to be with some guy she met on myspace. shes living some dream that shes still young, and were all waiting for her to wake up.

friendships are going pretty good for me. jamies still my best. lately things with her have been kinda rough because of some drama that i caused, but were getting over it.. hopefully so is he. me and geoff are still good friends. dana is still dana and i get closer to her everyday. daniel is basically the one person that i dont talk to enough even though we both try. hopefully his black ass moves down here soon!!!!!!!!!!!! yeah and ive become really close to some people at work and it sucks that im leaving, but these are not the kind of people you dont keep in touch with. haha its good to have some friends that are wayy older than you so they can remind you that you are still a kid and to have fun.

and me and jamie got a tatt in october!!! =]

okay so basically thats my little update on my life. nothing that exciting. i dont really party that much anymore. haha no seriously the end of 2007 i nearly partied myself out and was treading a thin line on becoming a pothead... but now i dont really drink or smoke half as much as i used to. i just have no urge to get FUCKED up like i used to. i guess ive learned a lot these past few months about guys, friends, life, and myself.

so im done. lets see how much i update from here...


dammnnn [18 Jul 2007|07:40pm]

its been a while.



peace out<3

[16 Nov 2006|12:29am]
[ mood | chill ]

yeah life is hectic, and chill at the same time. im working full time and panda making $10 an hour now.. yeahhh bitchhh. schools going soo good. pretty much B average in all my classes. living with kasey has been rocky, but its getting better. me and geoffrey are about to have our two year anniversary next week. daaaammmnnn i know. i love him though. hes my baaabby. i've caught up with friends. yeah im tired as fuck, but im happy.. and thats whats important. ok im done.

i cant believe summer is over... [30 Aug 2006|09:41pm]
[ mood | beat ]

its a good/bad feeling. a lot of shit happened this summer good/bad haha more good well besides work which is always lame as fuck. partied and was out a lot(wasted a lot of gas). got closer to old friends. made some shit worse, made mistakes, figured shit out. learned how to live on my own.. well plus kasey which is also an experience. having your best friend live with you is the chillest thing ever but of course it got a little rocky sometimes. $$$$$$$$$ wow im broke haha. yet i work all the time.. how is that? i dont know. i dont even know why im writing this, im just bored i guess. i have morning classes tomorrow =/ which really sucks but FINALLY i have a day off work to chill =] life is hectic for me. i feel as if everything is spinning. work. school. friends. boys. future. past. present. money. rent. my own health is being hard to keep up with haha i've been surviving off starbucks. i really need to give myself some chill time. i really have worked myself too fucking hard. whatever i'll get through this. what dosent kill you makes you stronger right?

life is chill [28 Jul 2006|02:34pm]
[ mood | chill ]

yeah life is chill. got my smc shit taken care of, paid the red light ticket, got the money for rent & insurance ready, me and geoff are good, me and kasey are good, its all good. lol. the only thing that is not good is work. im not getting my raise, im accepting it and moving on.. my boss is always gonna be an arrogant prick, im accepting it and moving on. i miss highschool a lot cause i got to see people that i didnt even realize meant so much to me everyday. its so hard to keep in touch when life is hectic. hopefully right now it will just stay chill for the rest of the summer.


1 ... spit your piece

[16 Jul 2006|01:14pm]
[ mood | sick ]

so far summer '06 has been alright. I've been spending most of my time with geoffrey, kasey, & jamie. So me and kasey moved into our new apartment about a week and a half ago and its been going good, we dont have internet yet so i dont get to go online much. im never at home anyway.. im either at work or out. life is so chill when your on your own and you dont have crazy parents breathing down your neck on everything. the only bad thing about this summer is work. i've been working full time & overtime since graduation and its really starting to affect me physically & emotionally. im sick with a fever and no one will cover for me so i have to go in today anyway. im so sick of working eight and nine hour shifts back to back. im tired. my boss is such an asshole, he wont give me the raise he promised me =/ so yeah life is good, except work. blah i guess im done.


2 ... spit your piece

resolutions update... [25 Jun 2006|01:38pm]
[ mood | blank ]

1.) (private).. done.

2.) accept the past/erase resentments...done.

3.) rebuild a friendship that seem to be falling apart :/...done.

4.) truly, make amends to people i have hurt....done.

5.) start actually putting money in my savings (haha like thats gonna happen)...not yet. haha.

6.) eat better/exercise...nope.

7.) start practing SELF-CONTROL (lmao)...hell no, im not even close.

8.) clean my room (haha)... i need to again. lol.

9.) learn how to scratch/spin (like a dj.. dont ask!!)...nope.

10.) call up and chill with at least three old friends (that i havent seen in like forever...no =/

11.) get a tan!!!!!!!!!!!!!...FINALLY!!!

12.) finish the steps...wow not even close.

well im getting there, still have another six months =]

this is it... [23 Jun 2006|02:30pm]
[ mood | excited ]

in a few hours culver city high school's class of 2006 will graduate!!!!! im so fucking happy that this shit is over.. stupid teachers giving detention, setelo and his fucking tardy sweeps, whoppi chasing me around for flip flops, crowded hallways, homework, tests.... but im almost gonna cry when i think of all the people i have shared this with, the good, the bad, the ugly.. haha. its over. i really took for granted these last few months. all the people i chill with in classes and the halls i might never see again. eventhough im so happy its over, i wish it would never end. senior year was definetley THE BEST.. and as it comes to an end all i can think about are all the good times i have had with all my friends. some of them will be living with me, living down the street, chillin with me at smc, some in the middle of nowhere maurine) haaha, and some getting on a plane and flying across the country. there is no doubt in my mind that around the beginning of september.. im gonna realize that im not coming back. that its not just the summer and all your friends will be back in one place. the sad thing is even if we say we will kit.. in most cases we wont. were gonna have busy, hectic lives and sometimes its just to much to keep up with the past. thank god for myspace, cause i have a feeling that this will really help some of us not lose touch. but for real im gonna try my hardest to KIT with these people, cause each and every one of you has impacted my life. so goodbye & goodluck. I LOVE YOU CULVER CLASS OF '06!!!!!!


p.s// cell- 310.487.2842 && if in like 5/10 years you may need to get a hold of me.. call this house and ask for my current ..: 310.837.2606 (and hey they are old so no prank calls please =])

sunburns are officially gay. [21 Jun 2006|10:15pm]
[ mood | tired ]

i kicked maurines ass at chicken!!! haha today was so chill, well not literally. yeah anyway.. pool partyyy!!! got to chill in geoffs pool with all the homies. kasey, geoff, maurine, jamie, alicia, skyly, jkast, johnny, wendy, jenny, tom, michael, erin, shawn, nick..there was more. damnn im REALLY fucking sunburned!!! tomorrow is gonna be hell at grad practice =/


3 ... spit your piece

omgggg [16 Jun 2006|07:52am]
[ mood | satisfied ]

my last day of highschool... what a fucking trip.

=) / =(

1 ... spit your piece

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