today while driving I was reflecting on the fact that I never actually write about cool things that happen to me. I mean, this summer has been full of awesome. I realized SO many dreams this year. I visited so many cool places. but I never wrote about Dawson City. I never wrote about the John Wayne party. I never wrote about the random guys from New Zealand. but that seems to be the theme of this year. a lot of momentous stuff happened that didn't make it into this LJ. for example, I never really wrote about 3Boyfriends, except for the epic triple breakup, and I wrote almost nothing at all about living in Quebec for like a quarter of the year. this worries me because I like to keep a diary of sorts, and I enjoy rereading them years later. I feel like I'm missing out by only writing about crazy dating dramz.

that said, some dating dramz happened but I am deliberately NOT writing about it today.

instead I will write about my creatures. they are giving me problems. I'm currently in a sketchy motel in Prince George and had given the hams free run of the bathroom, while my new tortoise has been wandering around the main room. I realized too late that the bathroom wall had a hole in it allowing any intrepid hams to escape into the main room or possibly the wall itself. I managed to collect all but one, who is still on the lam.

ham on the lam. hamlam. that's right fuckers.

earlier today I tried to rig up a more comfy, less drafty travelling situation for the hams but a couple managed to escape. so I was driving up hwy 16, the sun is setting, I hear a rustling, I look over and a hamster is perched on the passenger seat just staring at me. WTF!!!! apparently hams are not content to sit quietly in their cages and listen to Bat Out of Hell on repeat for six hours. who would have thought.

so here I am. bone tired and weary. it's 1 am. the drive has been shitty and I'm getting over a cold and haven't gotten a proper night's sleep in about three weeks. I keep hearing strange noises, scritching and scratching, thumping, rustling. I can't decide whether it's the tortoise, the escaped ham, a ghost, or some other creature altogether. I'm going to consult the internet and find out what noises tortoises are supposed to make, and that might help narrow it down. though if it's a ghost or 'other', I don't really want to know.

another hamster delivery in T- 2 hours. this makes 6 given away in the past week. it's for the best, but I am trying really hard to keep Tardham and Voltron and my elderly hams for as long as I can.

my dad is being overly supportive to the point of retardation. on wednesday after I gave away three to some rando, he was like "R U OK" and gave me a big hug. then today he was like "GOOD FOR YOU". I felt like a toddler who has just figured out how to work the safety scissors.

which is nice, I guess.

yes, my dad talks in all caps.

GOOD NEWS: I got my clothes mostly packed. I sorted, folded, and boxed my winter clothes, summer clothes, formal/"business casual" stuff, and lingerie. I also tossed a bunch of stuff into a garbage bag destined for Goodwill (I just got rid of a bag last week, and this year alone I've prolly donated like 4 or 5 bags full of shoes, books, clothes and random stuff I'm accumulated from my packrat family). I left a couple uniform pieces hanging in the closet, along with a few versatile items just in case I have to look not-homeless sometime in the next three weeks.

while doing all this, I found the ham hiding place, the hideaway they apparently go to when they escape from their cages.

BAD NEWS: the hamster hideaway is in the bottom of my evening gown.

I had this silk, lace and taffeta formal gown hanging in our storage closet. it is pretty long so about 8 inches of the skirt was resting on the ground. apparently the hams were nesting in it and they chewed holes in the silk to put in their nest.

FUCK YOU HAMS HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A ~*~FASHION SUPASTAR~*~

I am hoping the "bedraggled" look comes back into fashion soon.

for those of you who don't know, I totally hate spacetime. albano is a physics buff, so he is all about spacetime and dimensions and shit. we have spirited conversations often in which one of us talks about something we believe in, and the other is like "THAT MAKES NO SENSE, HOW DO YOU KNOW? HOW DO YOU KNOW?" some examples are: jesus, the moon landing, criss angel, and black holes. spacetime is another example.

so one of my hamsters was missing. the odd thing about this statement is that I put the hamster in its neon yellow hamster ball and then it disappeared. I have no idea how this happened. hamsters that get lose are very difficult to find, but hamsters in balls are relatively easy. hamsters can't get very far in their balls. especially when they are neon yellow. definitely can't escape into nooks and crannies, or hide in the closet and chew holes in albano's sweaters, or roll in the dirt and dust bunnies behind the kitchen cabinets.

we already looked in each room, under couches and beds ands behind furniture and all the other places where hamster balls should end up. we couldn't find them. then albano suggested that perhaps a rip had opened in spacetime and the hamster ball had fallen through. we agreed this was the most probable event. it just made me hate spacetime even more.

then albano found the ball between some boxes under the bed, even though I already looked there.