Who loves pepsi? Adrienne loves pepsi!

ctrl_alt_dlt_ @ 2008-10-08T22:13:00

2008-10-09T02:22:13Z

I've got Zach hooked on scrubs so I feel like a champion since he used to call it gay and stuff.
He moved into his new bedroom and i bought him a housewarming present and we made more Halloween crafts.
School is improving definatly.
He and Amritpal Bansil, my only friend, rule english and retard math. He's cool and gangsta and speaks 4 languages, is Canadian and is a sikh, a smaller relgion from India. I like when he refers to himself as "brown." He often talks about marrying his true love who will teach their children their mother language and tend to them.
The mean, annoying obsese girl Racheal in my math class made fun of me today becasue I wore heels to school. And i guess that menas I try to hard or soemthing. The stupid bitch also took my job at Hot Topic.
I'm going to Bruce Adams' art show tomorrow with carmen. Hopefully we'll see Steve and Casey there so I can give Casey her birthday present. it's hard to belive my little girl is 19 years old.
Happy Yom Kippour!

ctrl_alt_dlt_ @ 2008-10-05T03:20:00

2008-10-05T07:29:35Z

Tonight I did the grcery shopping and saw Taylor at tops, went into work early, drove kari home, and went to sarah hamilton's birthday party and met some new people and saw random people like cierra holler, extra tall shawn brumly, jenny oliver, kelsey!, and some 25 year old who zach works with and we didn't expect him to be there at all. I learned some sort of alchohol game and acted awkward becasue i rarley drink. I'm so awkward it's funny! And i play wioth girly fruit drinks. Ehhhhh what a new world to me. me and zach discussed the negatives and postitives of parties. I love Kelsey Barry, I wish i hadn't been really really mean to her in 9th grade becasue she's such a sweetheart. Me and Ally and will and zach all hung out the other night but zach got really upset and kind of put a mood damper on the night. Plus, it wouldn't be a double date with all of us if Will hadn't picked some B horror movie! Oh Will! I'm excited though becasue ally wants to go to the rocky horror party again this year and she wants to bring the boys. I'm hoping casey will want to go too becasue she has a deep burning passion for rocky horror. But I'm really super excited for that. I just need a new costume becasue i don;t want to do a repeat with being wonder woman. They are my favorite couple hands down.

And oddly enough Im excited to go see the boudreau's tomorrow. I tihnk skipping sundays with them makes me like them more.

ctrl_alt_dlt_ @ 2008-09-30T20:50:00

2008-10-01T00:55:28Z

I geuss i thought going out for coffee with gallo would change my life. Like he would give me his typical inspiring advice and I would jump out of my depression, make friends at UB, go to class, solve all my lovelife problems, and become socially confident in a matter of minutes. Okay, alright he's not a deity or anything but i think we all know what i mean. gallo always made me feel so much better whenver things got tough. Maybe now that im not a tonawanda student i don't respond to his wisdom. Plus i had all these things i wanted to talk about and ask him like what exactly i needed to do to become a teacher and what he thougth of twilgiht. But when he got there it's like my brain just farted constantly.

FART.

whatever. more halloween decor with zach tonight. that will cheer me up.

ctrl_alt_dlt_ @ 2008-09-24T17:44:00

2008-09-24T21:45:52Z

I'm sick of getting ditched. I'm done trying to hang out with people who pretend to be your friend. I'm done putting in the effort and not getting anything back.

ctrl_alt_dlt_ @ 2008-09-21T22:54:00

2008-09-22T03:07:27Z

help meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

ctrl_alt_dlt_ @ 2008-09-19T01:53:00

2008-09-19T05:54:42Z

i think im going to go back to the old livejournal for a bit. becasue i obviously cant have any privacy for my friends only page on this one.

if were good enough friends you should know what it is. or at least know how to locate it again.

ctrl_alt_dlt_ @ 2008-09-19T01:37:00

2008-09-19T05:38:37Z

iM SORRY BUT THIS IS FUCKING RIDICULOUS SO IM DOING A HUGE FRIENDS LIST CLEAN UP. DONT BE OFFENDED WHEN I DELEATE YOU BECASUE ALMOST EVERYONE IS GOING. BUT THIS IS FUCKING RIDICULOUS. i WROTE THAT ENTRY ABOUT ZACH WHEN WE WERE FIGHTING SO HARDCORE THAT WE WERNT EVEN TALKING. And less than ten hours later someone texts it to him.

i dont even get it. stay out of my life. unless your supossed to be there.

ctrl_alt_dlt_ @ 2008-09-16T21:11:00

2008-09-17T01:12:21Z

I always know what needs to be done I just never do it

ctrl_alt_dlt_ @ 2008-09-16T10:51:00

2008-09-16T14:57:42Z

i think im going to resign from my women's studies classes. Right now im taking 7 classes and i dont want to be and its overhwlming. i just wanted to take it easy my first semester to adjust and my advisor kind of just fucked me over. my women's studies class is the most appealing to resign from becasue its at 9 am and then i have 3 hour wait every MWF for my next class. Also the man who teaches itis very unorganized and the class syllabus isnt very organized. We read articles and discuss things everyday and it's not even a pre-requisite for any of the ohter women's studies classes so i wouldnt be missing out on anything. I'd still have my textbooks so i could just read those (and probobly will) if i miss it too much. So I think im decided. I will converse with Daneille and see what she thinks.

one litle withdrawl to help me keep my sanity cant be that bad?

ctrl_alt_dlt_ @ 2008-09-14T12:18:00

2008-09-14T16:40:25Z

I had a real good day yesterday. I worked a midday shift at the beanery with taylor and andym who turn out to be the two most laid back epople ive ever met. Unfortunatly the day took a dark turn for an hour when they left and joshua, norm and ciarian came and worked. And they are like the 3 most uptight people ever in exsistance. But whatever their nice. I really enjoy the coffee beanery I think Burger King prepared me to handle stress really well and not get flustered. I think it's cute when there's a tiny bit of backup at the beanery becasue of random jumps in buisiness and everyone gets flsutered and they think its super busy and then im just like "theres only 4 people in line" and then their like "yeah! were super busy!". And i just think back to BK and fondly remember handling a a drive thru with 16 minutes onthe clock becasue we were so busy at the window and the front. Oh BK you've prepared me really well.

The negative about the benery is that everyone is training me different. And it's super confusing becasue I just constantly get yelled at for making things a different way i've been taught. whatever, i figure no matter how shitty of a drink mixer i am 3 weeks in i am im still getting piad for being there.

And then I went a worked out becasue Im a beast latley who has discovered the UB gym and i fucking tear that elliptical up even on weekends. I'm excited to work out so i can stop complaining im fat. After that i went to noglefest for a bit with zach and we watched ryan freak out about stress and watched his family of look a likes drink beer a lot. Alas we then got tired and went home and Zach tried helping me with my reatrd math but he couldnt. he said it was too hard. meanwhile, tom is constantly texting me wantitng to talk and have a deep serious emotional conversation that i dont want to have. So i told him so. I dont want to lead him on or anything so i figure if i avoid emotional conversation altogther he won't think i'm making promises. I told him i just want to be friends. and then he said "well friends ahng out". And i said "not friends that have boyfrfiends, that would be disrespectful. Mostl becasue you know, your my ex".

Thats my story. Today im skipping my dads house becasue i told him i was going camping. but then we didnt actually go camping. and i hate going to my dads so im just staying home.

I like to be right

2008-09-10T01:55:53Z

So nothing awesomizes my day like my favorite feminist blog www.feministing.com agreeing with something i said earlier.

"No (hot) air

Is it just me, or did anyone else find Jordin Sparks' VMA comments about purity ring showboating just a weenzy bit offensive?

Now, it's not the defense of the purity rings part that annoys me. It's more of the "hey, if you don't save yourself for marriage, like me and the Disney Channel chastity brigade, you're a total slut and deserve to be spit on" part.

Of course, nothing against those who do choose to save it for their wedding night. If that's what you want and truly feel is the best, most correct decision for you and your body, then I absolutely applaud you for it. Any major decision regarding sex - to have it, not to have it - is usually very difficult, so having the maturity to decide what's best for you is, I think, generally considered a good thing.

However, what I really object to here seems to be the same argument women have been grappling with since the formation of organized religion: having sex before marriage DOES NOT make you a slut! You are in no way, shape, or form a creature of contempt just because you choose to exchange favors before exchanging rings. And it's really, really, really time that society - and yes, even its American Idol-quotient - stop cramming this degrading label down our collective throats and accept that, maybe if we're respecting their decisions, they better damn well start respecting ours.

I guess as a former saving-it-for-marriage acolyte myself, I'm feeling dually outraged by this type of comment from such a public figure. (Granted, not that I have ever turned to MTV as a shining beacon of intellectual enlightenment, but, you know). I remember the days of behind the back whispering and reputation ruining of "did she or didn't she?" hallway cattiness, and now every time I see this type of ignorance regurgitated up for eager public consumption, I want to, well, puke.

So look, if you think that having premarital sex is nothing but a one-way ticket to Slutville (and possibly, Hell), then by all means, choose not to have it. However, there's no reason for you to broadcast negative deathrays onto those of us who choose to follow a dissimilar path. Ultimately, saving it wasn't the right decision for me, and I'm infinity percent positive that it's not the right decision for many, many, many other people, either.

What would Jesus do? He'd probably be too busy feeding the homeless to worry about dropping the s-bomb on anyone without some sort of ring on their finger."

I COULD BE A FEMINISTING BLOGGER SOME DAY<3

Today at work i found out how much i have in common with taylor sexton. We talked about getting crotch rockets and being badass and modifying cars and racing and lots of other awesome stuff. I never knew how BA she was. She gave me info on a motorcycle teaching class too called "Ride Free" or something.

VMAS

2008-09-08T19:16:11Z

I loved the vmas. I loved the venue i loved how they used the paramount studio lot really well. I loved the host. I loved when he made fun of purity rings and Jordin Sparks overreacted and had no sense of humor. What's the point in beign a star if you're too uptight and can't handle getting made fun of. Jordin Sparks being mad was awsome, the awesomeist part was when she said "I just wanna say, it's not bad to wear a promise ring because not every guy and a girl wants to be a slut, OK?" Silly lady just becasue you're not chaste dosnt mean your slut. The world is not black and white. I have sex I'm not a slut i assure you. Many people who arn't virgins arn't sluts.

Although me and Zach decided whoever was doing the sound was compleatly retarded. Becasue you couldn;t hear the vocals and the piano was way too high in so many songs. Christina Augulara's powerful voice was turned down so low. Whatevs. I'm so glad Britney looked beautiful and took home 3 moonmans and I'm glad she got a standing ovation at the beiginning.

Pink was fierce as usual. Good lord i love a badass woman.

It was awesome how they had paramore perform at "the whiskey" but then took the stagebackdrop away and it was the vmas not the whiskey. DUN DUN DUN. if only it was.

im going to the doctor now becasue i just noticed this BIG ASS CYSTS on the arm and it;s fucking gross man. I want to get it removed becasue it's so fucking nasty.

John McCain is a douchebag

2008-09-06T16:06:13Z

During a Republican fundraiser in 1998, McCain took a shot at an 18 year old girl. “Why is Chelsea Clinton so ugly,” he asked. “Because Janet Reno is her father.” Not only was his incredibly crass remark cruel to the teenage girl, it was an affront to the Attorney General, whom he decided was simply not feminine enough to warrant his respect. He ultimately offered an apology to a furious Bill Clinton.

Back in 1986, during his first race for the Senate in Arizona, the Tuscon Citizen reported that McCain thought he’d try out some new material for a town hall meeting with the National League of Cities and Towns in Washington, D.C. McCain cracked, "Did you hear the one about the woman who is attacked on the street by a gorilla, beaten senseless, raped repeatedly and left to die? When she finally regains consciousness and tries to speak, her doctor leans over to hear her sigh contently and to feebly ask, ‘Where is that marvelous ape?’" Now, rape jokes never tend to go over well. But it casts a significant shadow on a guy who claimed to be so outraged when news surfaced that Clayton Williams, one of his top fundraisers in Texas, made a rape joke of his own. Likening the experience of being raped to bad weather, he said, "as long as it’s inevitable, you might as well lie back and enjoy it."

According to the Republic, during a 1991 meeting with a delegation of female Air Force pilots who were interested in expanding opportunities for female flyers, McCain greeted them by calling them “honey,” and “sweetie.” Though the outdated terms may seem benign enough, McCain became frustrated and began to disparage the women, calling them “a bunch of Pat Schroeders.” Schroeder, of course, was a Colorado Democrat who earned accolades for dedicating her career in the House of Representatives to securing equal rights for women.

Although John McCain mentioned in his speech how "proud" he was to be helping women come forward in nathional politics it seems awfully hypocrticial when one looks at McCain's long history of misogynistic language towards women.

Adrienne and Kumar go to Livejournal

2008-09-05T15:47:35Z

I am sitting in a library with a bunch of unfriendly twentysomethings. I have nothing to do. I miss friends. Even though nothing makes me happy anymore i still miss friends. I hung out with carmen and kellie for about thirty minutes last night and it made me put some things into perspective. Andrea and Dan broke up. So I think she's moving back in. And i know it's selfish of me to say but I'm irritated with her pressence. She needs to stop moving in and out and in and out and eating all the food i buy for myself. I have no clue how my like 80 pound sister managed to eat 6 crissoints and 2 pastry hearts in the 3 hours i slept last night but whatever man. I'd be mad if i wasn't so amazed.
The beanery is getting better. I'm slowing learning drinks it's hard though because ill work like every 2 or 3 days and ill forget everything in between. I;m trying really hard through to get it straight because i'm not the kind of person to quit a job even if i'm not good at it. Zach came and visited, well more of my boss than me, but when i saw him it was like this monumental wave of relaxation and happiness when i saw him and his baldybuzzed head walk into the mall. It was a rush and i loved it because it was beautiful like him. And last night he came over to make sure i finished my essay and he supervised which is good becasue i honestly wouldn;t have donw it if he'd hadn't have been there pushing me and bothering and hrassing and bribing me with Scrubs DVD's and cuddling to finish it. I was up real lat though and he wouldnt leave when i wanted to go to bed. Proboly becasue he was sleeping.

The end. time for english with weirdo john hugar who is like the male jillian o'connor.

I also need to find a bathroom. i never know where the fuck any are in this shithole.

oh yeah i got my a list gift for this month. and its this lame charm bracelet. well, its not that its lame i just hate bracelets, silver and charms. So i gave it to carmen. who i love so dearly. i love youuuuuuu carman. we should have a slumber party in your single dorm. or we should just get married or something. or you can have my baby that i wont want that ill probobly have one day.

im crazy and creepy.

the end again.

ctrl_alt_dlt_ @ 2008-09-03T09:58:00

2008-09-03T14:01:28Z

Sometimes I'll connect the dots and then everything resurfaces and starts over again.

I feel like no matter what I'm always going to be competing against a ghost of the past for him.

And it's almost like i dont even care anymore. Becasue I shouldn't have to fight.

but when i realize something fits together and someone's lied about it i get pissed and want to confront.

its a big fucking circle man.

ctrl_alt_dlt_ @ 2008-09-01T01:32:00

2008-09-01T05:33:14Z

its odd how a fight can sometimes bring you closer together.

like overcoming a hurdle and being proud of it. proud of a new beginning. another challenge. whatever

ctrl_alt_dlt_ @ 2008-08-27T10:23:00

2008-08-27T14:24:01Z

School is lonely. My printer at home isn't useable with my new computor. I'm fucked because I dont understand how to use the ub ones.

ctrl_alt_dlt_ @ 2008-08-26T23:18:00

2008-08-27T03:20:58Z

I feel like i'd be very replaceable.

Most likely by a girl with similar features and a not as good sense of humor.

I'm a bad person.
Who sets herself up for misery.

happy birthday 19th amendment

2008-08-26T23:21:22Z

School is lonley. It is lonley and i continue to be chronically late. I'm learning to understand traffic patterns of my way there. I'm learning all about small talk. Women studies classes look to be awesome. I'm the youngest person in my english class. I had to take a test to make sure i was retarded enough to be in the retarded math class. What certainly got me in was the fact tat i forgot what the order of operations was. "PEMDAS you retard" my subconsciouos screamed at me throughout the test. But I didnt even notice and put down something compleatly different.

The only people i've recognized were Rob Parker, stupid fat slutty Alyssa Large who i ignored compleatly, okay i liked i did a double take and shot her dirty looks, and steve. Who i embraced and we sat down and talked about stuff awkwadly between our classes. And i lwet him call casey and get her confused.

Nothing made me happier than spending 500 dollars of my parents money on the best thing of all. BOOKS.

My psoriissis is accumlating on my eardrums and i can't hear very well.

It's really nice not doing art. happy birthday

ctrl_alt_dlt_ @ 2008-08-25T08:15:00

2008-08-25T12:16:55Z

My first class of collge WOULD be women's studies 101.

here we go.

ctrl_alt_dlt_ @ 2008-08-20T14:09:00

2008-08-20T18:14:25Z

It's sad that it takes these things to make me happy but this is why im incredibly happy.

Im leaving Burger King for the Coffee Beanery
I adore my car. I named her Hillary.
I start school monday, which means i will have full access to the UB gym.

It's like all the chnages i wanted to make in ym life are almost complete. or at least, accesible. So i can stop feeling super shitty about myself.

I start at the beanery tomorrow.
I can dirve there with hillary.

yayayayayayayayayayaya.

go me.

ctrl_alt_dlt_ @ 2008-08-19T16:26:00

2008-08-19T20:32:36Z

I'm so sick of buisiness leading me in a circle. Im sick of people saying to me that their intrested and then taking me around in circles. Telling me to call back. Lying and telling me they will call me back. Telling me all of these things, never giving me a real answer.

and then when I do get a real answer it is not the one ive wanted.

banana republic, barnes and noble, borders, pier one, hot topic, american eagle,best buy, target, fye
they've all lead me in circles like a dog chasing it's tail

Ac moore and michaels dont hire seasonal until september. That's what they told me anyway. Im not sure if they realize that it's almost september.

i feel unwanted.

i dont really want to work at the coffee beanery. but right now. it seems like i have no ohter options. becasue if i stay at burger king any longer than neccessary im going to cut my fucking wrists and wring them out over all the whopper jrs.

ctrl_alt_dlt_ @ 2008-08-17T23:18:00

2008-08-18T03:26:47Z

I don't know why that when I'm already depressed and confused I torture myself by wanting to read those stupid old messages from her that have sat in my inbox for moths.

I don't let go. That's the problem. That I'm constantly paranoid that he wishes I was her. Like when we went camping. Or do anything remotly close to any activity they had already done. the entire time I was just bummed becasue i was afarid of that. I feel foolish sometimes when i'm scared doing mundane things. but I thoght going to the movies was a mundane thing, you know, everyone does it with a whole bunch of different people. i didn;t think it would make him wish i was her or anything.

I geuss maybe I just feel like there was a lot more to those letters than I got from just one read. For instance, she seems to know a lot of his inner thoughts. Like "still mad that adrienne my own gf wouldnt go to the hospital to c my dad. but u did and it was shitty out and u let me drive and u have that trust in me that i love.". oddly specific and accurate.

I just feel so strange latley. for thr past few months.

Just odd.

ctrl_alt_dlt_ @ 2008-08-17T04:46:00

2008-08-17T08:48:49Z

Over the past year of having a boyfriend who has a car I have forgotten the joys of walking home in the moonlight. What precious downtime have i been giving up for so long? It was magical. I felt so alive wit the bright full moon shining on me tonight. I actually went for a bikeride after.
It's true what they say, you don't ever forget how to ride a bike. But you do forget the feeling of the cold wind blowing your hair back. or how good it feels to lean into a turn. or how hard it was at first to ride with no hands.

I miss exercise.

ctrl_alt_dlt_ @ 2008-08-14T12:44:00

2008-08-14T16:49:29Z

I should've went away for school. I shoulv've paid the 7or 6whateverthousandsof dollars to go away and start all over with a bunch of idiot teens. So i oculd finally be an idiot teen and get drunk and smoke crack. Okay, well maybe not smoke crack, but you get the idea. Too bad I'm already an idiot teen for only applying to one away school that was just above my par. I don't even want to talk about it. Stony Brook was my dream school.

I wonder what Purchase would like. Hillary Clinton lives around there. Maybe i could sit outside her house with binoculars of something between my women's study classes. Too bad I wasnt allowed to apply there because "danielle didn't like it and came home".

I live my life with doubt in my every step.

If i had more money id get an apartment. But that's how Andrea got poor. And Danielle got rich by living at home. Lessons leraned by a younger sibling.