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Sunday, June 15th, 2008
9:59 pm - Hi
Hi again. Looking back at old entries is fun, so even if I stop writing in here for a while, I always try to start back up again.
I'm so happy (with you).
I miss everyone.
Growing up is scary.

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Tuesday, February 5th, 2008
9:02 pm
i love that nobody will real all the meaningful shit i write.

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Monday, January 14th, 2008
10:29 pm
I got accepted to Simmons College in Boston. I am so fucking relieved, happy, thankful, proud, and excited.

<333333

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Monday, December 17th, 2007
3:29 pm
I feel like a failure. I got rejected from the school of my dreams.

I hear about everyone getting in their colleges and...this sucks.

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Sunday, November 11th, 2007
6:44 pm
selfish. both of you.

fuck you guys.

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Tuesday, October 30th, 2007
4:35 pm
I just submitted my Emerson application. If I get in, I will shit my pants, and then die from happiness.
I'm so scared.

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Tuesday, October 23rd, 2007
2:36 pm
I am inlove with Brand News new song.
December 9th<333333333!!

buy tickets!!!!!! or else I'm going alone!

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Saturday, October 20th, 2007
1:18 am
wow. my 18th birthday is in 26 days. how will I be spending it? I'll be spending it wishing that I will be swept off my feet by something incredible; so incredible it would bring tears of joy to my eyes.

aka:

1. @ home, since my parents are working that night anyways, just like that year when I spent it in drivers ed, then watching my little brother because my mom was at work and my dad spent the weekend gambling/losing alot of money at foxwoods.
2. purposely avoiding everyone for an unknown reason because thats always what I do, and my friends actually let me.
3. picking out all the flaws with my life and making it seem so much worse than it is.
4. possibly spending it with lyssandra and/or colin but colin has class.
5. spending it @ work. (most likely)

probably a combination of all is what I'll actually end up doing.

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Wednesday, October 17th, 2007
10:07 pm
fuck























you.

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Monday, October 15th, 2007
11:06 pm
today I took a drive to a small down by Keene with my dad and Colin and took some photos. I had a really nice day.

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Tuesday, October 9th, 2007
7:53 pm
I'm glad that I update in here more often than I used to.

Things are okay. I'm working on it, and I'm hanging in there. I'm trying not to let certain things bring me down, and if anyone else thinks they deserve to bring me down, then fine.. but I need to be easier on myself. I've given myself too much of a hard time, because I really do believe I'm a good person deep down, and I don't care if you disagree anymore. I may have proven otherwise, but nobody knows me better than myself, and I know who I am.
Anyways, SAT classes and SATs are finally over with. They weren't bad at all actually, and I'm pretty confident for the most part. Now all my focus is on my college applications. I'm pretty sure I'm applying for early action for Emerson, so that's due November 1st. yikes. I would die to go there. If i ever did get accepted, I would be the happiest girl on the planet. It would really mean so much to me.. which is why I'm really nervous about being accepted.
ahhh.
I'm really excited about the 20th. Davis' Mega Maze, anyone in? :/
I really need to work on my self-esteem. gkihemvm.
I'm excited for Halloween too.
and I'm really happy with Colin, incase anyone was wondering- but I doubt you were...


guenvldf.

current mood: indescribable

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Sunday, September 23rd, 2007
1:11 pm
STAY AWAY.

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Saturday, September 22nd, 2007
2:11 pm - k
I'm sick of people.
anyways, I love my college list, and collegeboard.com. is it weird that I can't wait to get started on my scholarship applications? once SATs are done everything will be so much easier.

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Tuesday, September 18th, 2007
9:56 pm
"Dear Diary,

mood: apathetic..."


basically describes my life right now.

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Saturday, September 15th, 2007
11:44 pm
Why can't you just grow up? I've waited 18 years. I'm more mature than you. You're 50.
Nobody understands. You have caused me so much pain growing up, and I hate that you've done that. I don't hate you, I hate the choices you make. All I know is that I never want to be like you.
Just when I think you're getting better, just when I think you've finally realized what your drinking has caused our family to go through, and you've made a commitment to stop- you slip again. And you wonder why it's hard for me to support you.
All I've wanted my whole life was for you to stop. I told you when I was seven "if you really loved me, you'd stop".
Maybe thats why I have held all these grudges for so long.

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Thursday, September 13th, 2007
10:56 pm - I'm sorry.
If I can't even understand why or what I'm feeling right now, how will anyone else? I'm literally sick to my stomach.

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Sunday, September 9th, 2007
9:59 pm
hayyy. GET FUCKED.

I have no time this week.
I'm already stressed out just thinking about applying to colleges and scholarships.

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Sunday, September 2nd, 2007
11:22 pm
Started school; it went well. I really like my classes, though my film class is full of ghetto scum, except maybe three or four people. I'm exicted to finally be a senior, it makes me feel old yet still very young. I kind of wish it was only the juniors and seniors at school, because they're the only ones I can stand. I mean there are a few freshman I know, mainly because my brothers friends.. but I don't know any sophmores and I don't like them.

Things with Colin are really good. He makes me so incredibly happy, I don't think anyone knows. I don't really act all giddly and cuddly smoochy woochy with him around other people, just because it makes me uncomfortable, so I guess it's hard to tell how we really are unless you talk to me. But I write about him in my journal almost every night haha.. yeah, I'm lame.

I feel stupid now, bye!!

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Sunday, August 26th, 2007
1:23 pm
this summer has been really good. although I feel like it's just started to get good as soon as it's ending. it's hard to believe I'll be a senior this year. it all feels so young, yet I can't believe it's almost all over. I think about growing up alot, how it seems like just yesterday I was at my Memeres with all the neighborhood kids having vegetable fights and jumping off the diving board... and playing invisible man with Justine. I'll be 18 in November. up until age 13 every year seemed to last forever, life went by so slow. now, I can't even remember where the past 5 years have gone. I hate this growing up thing overrall, but when it comes down to the moment, I still want to see where life will take me next.

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Thursday, June 21st, 2007
9:54 am
i just want people to leave me alone sometimes.

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