Blue Heaven, chapter 5

Many thanks to all previous reviewers, hope you enjoy this chapter :)

Chapter 4 was here.


“Our very own triple bridal shower!” Uo crowed as she entered the house with Hanajima, toeing off her shoes and dumping her duffle-bag of things in the entry. “And only four months late!”

“It’s really more of a regular sleepover party than a bridal shower,” Tohru protested, following them into the living room where Shigure, Yuki, and Kyou were seated around the kotatsu.

Hanajima gracefully seated herself between Yuki and Shigure and helped herself to the plate of snacks on the table. “Especially since we won’t be giving each other gifts of lingerie,” she commented.

There was a beat of silence, during which the boys’ eyes flicked (completely against their owners’ wills) toward the girls and their imaginations kicked into overdrive. Then Yuki and Kyou turned away, blushing fiercely.

Not Shigure, however. Smirking, he just ducked his head behind his ever-present paperback novel and began humming a tune that sounded suspiciously like his all-time favourite, “High School Girls”. And then he whimpered when two hands from either side smacked him up the head.

“Filthy dog,” muttered Yuki, while Kyou intoned, “Disgusting pervert.” Apparently, it’s fine to have naughty thoughts as long as you don’t admit to them.

“Who else is coming?” Hanajima inquired. “Didn’t I hear you say you’d invited the Sohma girls?”

Tohru nodded happily. “Rin, Kagura, and Kisa. They all said they’d come!” She clasped her hands to her chest in joy. “This is going to be so fun! I just know you’ll all become close friends!”

Thinking of Kagura’s volatile nature, Kisa’s shy timidity, and Rin’s sudden mood swings, the Sohmas collectively found that highly doubtful. Just try telling Tohru that, though. She was already bouncing to the door to answer the ringing bell, returning shortly with the Sohma females in tow. Kisa and Rin hung back a little, but Kagura’s face was lit up with joy.

“Look!” she exclaimed, hoisting a large case of gaudy, pearlescent pink plastic. “I brought my entire cosmetic kit! We can give each other makeovers! This will be the First Official Honda-Sohma Day of Ultimate Beauty!”

Hanajima looked up with the first spark of interest she’d shown that day. “Hair,” she said distinctly. “We can do each other’s hair.”

“And I made Rin bring most of her wardrobe, we can try her things on to see how we look in hoochie-mama clothes!” Kagura enthused, wincing a moment later when her cousin pinched her arm. “Admit it,” she said sullenly. “You don’t exactly dress like a nun, Rin.”

The boys’ eyes once more glazed over at the idea of the girls in Rin’s skimpy, daring outfits, and blushed brightly again but their hands, poised dangerously close to Shigure’s head, reminded him to hold his tongue.

“Ahaha!” said Tohru nervously, stepping between the two cousins and smiled brightly, hoping to defuse the situation before it got ugly. “Now that everyone’s here, let’s go upstairs, okay?”

“Always the diplomat, our little flower!” Shigure said, starry-eyed as he gazed up at the girls, then continued recklessly. “You should give us a fashion show, once you start trying on Rin’s clothes. It would be a tragedy to allow such exquisite feminine pulchritude to go unseen—“

He was cut off by twin blows to the head, and fell silent as he rubbed his injury, face dramatically pained.

Upstairs, everyone changed into something more comfortable (shorty pajamas being the outfit of choice for all but Rin and Hana, who preferred brief black lacy things that rather scared Tohru), and they started in on their various beautification rituals. Step Number One: fingernails.

“I know!” exclaimed Kagura. “Let’s all describe our first kiss!” She closed her eyes and clasped her hands to her chest. “Mine was Kyou, of course. It wasn’t very fun, because I had to tackle him and he didn’t kiss me back at all, but our lips touched!” She waved a fist in the air for emphasis. “It counted!”

“And how about your first kiss with a willing victim?” asked Uo with a smirk.

Kagura settled down and went back to polishing her nails. “Oh, that would be Ritsu,” she answered calmly, seeming unaware of the stares she received from three of the other five girls.

“Ritsu? You kissed Ritsu?” Kisa was alarmed at the concept of the timid monkey and the forceful boar.

“You didn’t hurt him, did you?” Tohru asked worriedly, apparently just as apprehensive.

Kagura airily waved a hand newly adorned with Plum Passion. “Not at all. It was very nice.” Her eyes gleamed at the memory. “We were walking in the main garden at the Honke, and the sun was on his hair so he looked even prettier than usual, so I just leaned over and kissed him.”

She laughed. “He seemed so surprised, but when I stopped, he grabbed me and kissed me back! And was really good at it!” Her face turned a little dreamy. “Of course, he apologized for it longer than the amount of time he kissed me, so I kissed him again to shut him up, and we ended up making out for almost an hour.”

Rin stared at her. “When was this?” she demanded.

“A month ago. We’ve seen each other, or spoken on the phone for hours, every night since then.”

“That sounds much as if you’re dating him, then,” Hanajima commented, not looking up from where she stroked Divine Aubergine on her own nails. “Your electric signals are that of a girl in extreme infatuation.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Rin griped, scowling. “We lived together. We’re practically sisters. You have a duty to share this sort of thing with me.”

Kagura shot her a cool glance. “Oh, like you told me about Haru?” She tossed her hair back over her shoulder and took Tohru’s free hand, beginning to paint her nails Coral Parfait (in spite of the fact that Kisa was doing her other hand in Ruby Glisten). “My reasons for keeping it secret are the same as yours.”

“Then why say anything to us now?” Rin grumbled, and looked ready to continue when Tohru, stretched between two cousins, interrupted.

“Okay, so, Rin-chan!” she said brightly. “Your first kiss was Hatsuharu, right!”

Rin nodded, her expression somehow sullen and misty with nostalgia at the same time. “But that’s over now,” she added darkly.

Tohru nodded too, nervously. “Uo-chan!” she exclaimed. “Have you been kissed?”

Uo shrugged and leaned back on her hands. “Sure,” she answered easily. “I think I was twelve. No, eleven. It was a kid from another gang, nicer than most of them. Older. Thirteen, maybe, but he didn’t know what he was doing any more than I did.”

She grinned suddenly. “Slobbered all over me, and I pushed him away and told him he had to get better or I’d never kiss him again. So he did, and we spent the whole summer sneaking away whenever we could, kissing each other stupid.”

Uo looked thoughtful for a moment. “Haven’t seen him since I left the gang. Wonder how he’s doing…”

“My first kiss was from an older cousin,” Hana offered then. “But it was over quickly. I scarcely remember it.” She did not elaborate.

There were two left, both blushing furiously.

“Tohru-chan, tell us about your first kiss,” Kagura urged. “I bet it’s a sweet story.”

“It, um, er, really isn’t anything to tell!” she protested, panicking. “Mostly because it hasn’t happened! But that’s ok, it’s not weird or anything, because Kisa’s with me. Right, Kisa?” She turned to the little girl beside her. “You haven’t been kissed yet either, right?”

Kisa’s face flamed. “Er,” she whispered. “Hiro…it’s nice…”

Silence fell. Then Rin spoke up. “Tohru, you’re sixteen and you haven’t been kissed yet? By anyone?”

Tohru blinked. Even the eleven-year-old had been kissed, and she hadn’t? She felt stupid, and clumsy, and ugly, all at the same time.

“Well,” Tohru began to babble, “of course I’ve been kissed by my mother, and Hana-chan and Uo-chan have kissed me on the cheek before, and I’m sure my father must have kissed me. Before he died, that is, and— why are you all staring at me like that?”

“Because we can’t believe that, living with three men, two of whom are clearly in love with you, you haven’t been kissed yet,” Kagura stated. “It seems unlikely.”

“Whaaat?” Tohru was clearly on her way to the emotional equivalent of Defcon 4. “Two of them are what? How? Which two? Oh, Mom!” Her gaze latched frantically on the framed photo on her dresser.

They all stared at her again. A blush scalded over her face and down her throat. She looked miserable.

“Just one is in love with her,” Hana declared. “Yuki’s interests lie elsewhere, though there is no doubting his devotion to you, Tohru-chan. But Kyou-kun…” She gazed out the window, seeming to concentrate on something.

“Yeah, Carrot-Top’s got it for you bad, Tohru,” Uo confirmed with a nod. “You’d have to be blind not to see it.” Then she glanced over at Hana. “Who’s the Prince pining after?”

Tohru’s heart felt like it was beating far too fast and hard. “He… I…” Her voice was high and thin, and her eyes were huge. Fortunately, she was saved from having to say anything of actual substance by a knock on the door, which opened to reveal Shigure with a plate in his hand.

“I was just wondering if any of you lovely young women were hungry,” he said smoothly, eyes roaming avidly over where they sat around Tohru’s low square table. He was disappointed to see that none of them were wearing any of Rin’s clothes (except for Rin, of course) until he realized they were all clad in brief sets of shorty pajamas, and his plummeting mood soared once more. And no, that wasn’t Freudian symbolism. Well, much.

The snacks were met with great enthusiasm (and relief on Tohru’s part); his presence, not so much. Kisa asked for something to drink, and Tohru leapt to her feet.

“No, Shigure-san, I’ll get it!” she exclaimed. “You’re so nice to bring the snack up to us!”

“Not at all, my little flower,” he replied easily, ambling down the stairs after her. Those shorty pajamas were well worth playing the butler, in his opinion.

Kyou was in the kitchen when Tohru entered, and glanced at her from where he was chugging milk from the carton. She immediately blushed crimson, ducked her head, and scurried to the cabinet where the glasses were kept.

The atmosphere in the room immediately seemed to thicken, and she just knew he was watching her, head perhaps cocked to one side in curiosity at her behaving weirdly yet again. It was so cute when he did that, and his eyes would gleam a certain way, and—

Safe thoughts! she admonished herself, aware her hands were shaking as she arranged the glasses on a tray. Taking a deep breath, she went to the refrigerator to get a bottle of juice for her guests upstairs.

“Tohru, what’s wrong with you?” Kyou asked. His voice was closer than she’d expected; he must be right behind her! With a faint yelp, she tried to spring away only to find him putting his hands on the counter on either side of her, hemming her in.

“No running away until you tell me what’s going on,” he said, brows drawing together in concern. “Are Kagura and Rin fighting?”

Kagura… Rin… she heard their voices in her head, asking about kissing, and Uo telling her that Kyou cared for her. Her gaze dropped to his mouth, and she found herself watching it avidly as he spoke, and even after he stopped. He was so close, just then, and had a marvelous mouth, she realized: his lips were well-shaped, pale pink and soft-looking. She bet it would feel so nice, to kiss him, and wondered what it was like to do one of those French kisses she saw on TV and in the movies.

“Safe thoughts!” she wailed, pressing her fists to the sides of her head and shaking it furiously, hair flailing out in all directions.

Peeking up after her exclamation, she saw him staring down at her in utter perplexment. His eyes, a lovely warm brown, were concerned as he narrowed them, clearly trying to translate Tohru-ese into a normal human language.

“Safe thoughts?” Kyou repeated slowly. “As opposed to unsafe thoughts?” He had no idea what sort of unsafe things Tohru of all people could possibly be thinking about. But she was looking at him weirdly again, like she was staring at his chin or his nose.

He wondered if there were a surreptitious way he could brush his hand over those features to be sure he hadn’t dripped milk on himself somehow, but he rather found himself reluctant to move from where his arms were caging her in like this. It was nearly an embrace, and if he stepped a little closer, he’d be almost pressed up against her, and she was so small and dainty and she smelled like vanilla and berries and were those shorty pajamas she was wearing?

Safe thoughts, he thought with a mental groan, suddenly understanding the value of the reminder and stepping away. There was very little he enjoyed so much as Tohru staring up at him with those huge eyes of hers, and he couldn’t seem to stop staring at her mouth.

It all clicked, then; her words, where she was looking, and what her words meant. The idea that Tohru might want to kiss Kyou was a prospect he hadn’t ever had any faith in. He wanted to kiss her, certainly; had imagined it thousands of times in thousands of places but never dreamed of indulging in the fantasy that she could be as willing and eager as he.

It went beyond the normal self-doubt of a teen boy, beyond even any inferiority he might feel in comparison to his princely cousin and rival, and went all the way to the bone-deep certainty instilled in him from his youth that he was unworthy of being wanted and loved.

It would never happen. His hope was fated to end in disappointment; no matter how Kyou trained and tried, he still couldn’t defeat Yuki, still had to be imprisoned after graduation, still had no chance of a life of freedom and any scrap of joy he could scavenge for himself.

It was impossible.

The hopelessness of it tore through him, and he stepped away from her, averting his gaze. “If you’ve got a problem, you can always tell me. I’ll help you if I can. You know that.”

“I know that,” she agreed softly, all tension and distress seeming to have vanished. “Thank you, Kyou-kun.”

“S’nothing,” he muttered, and ambled out of the kitchen.

Tohru sighed. Something had happened there, some thought had made his features light with hope, though just for a too-short moment until something else had forced it away, made his face seem to snap closed, anger and despair flashing across it before he managed to school it to an approximation of blandness.

She wanted to take away all his pain and loneliness, wanted him to share it all with her so he was drained of anything bad and had only good things to think about. But her mom had always told her that life was full of suffering, and people were in charge of their own happiness. If Kyou didn’t want to be rid of his sadness, there wasn’t anything Tohru could do to make that happen for him.

So she sighed again, and brought the tray of juice and glasses upstairs to her guests. They tried teasing her a little more about Kyou, and kissing, and she smiled and laughed with them, but she had other things on her mind now. More important things than being embarrassed over her own inability to get a boy to kiss her.

“You… live with Kasuma-dono?” Hana was asking Rin. Her face was blank, as always, but there was an oddly hostile note to her voice. And was that a streak of sparks zipping over her head…?

Rin frowned at the odd girl, darting a look at Kagura. “Yes, he’s a good friend to all of us.”

“A friend…” Hana seemed to be tasting the word in her mouth, she paused so long. Then she nodded. “Very well. I can accept that he allows his friends to stay with him, as long as that is all that it is.”

“Hana thinks she’s in love with him,” Uo explained to the Sohma girls.

“Has she ever even met him?” Kagura demanded, skeptical. “I really doubt Shishou would go for it. Isn’t he twice her age?”

Hana returned to putting Kisa’s hair in tiny butterfly clips all around her face, and gave an elegant shrug. “His waves indicate he rather likes that I’m half his age,” she commented.

The Sohmas looked somewhat disturbed; even Uo was a bit unnerved. Tohru just sighed a third time and started to polish her toenails. Some things even she could recognize as being beyond hope.

Chapter 6 is here.