| (no subject) |
[Apr. 7th, 2011|11:16 pm] |
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i wanna cry but tears just can't seem to form. |
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| lost love. |
[Jul. 13th, 2009|08:51 pm] |
後來我總算學會瞭如何去愛 可惜你早已遠去消失在人海 後來終於在眼淚中明白 有些人一旦錯過就不再
Mistakes make you grow, learn and be a better person. But once in a while, I cannot help but look back and ask myself "If only I did something different." It's funny how life plays tricks on people. Sometimes, forcing someone to grow up so fast. Sometimes, causing people to do terrible things that even they will never be able to forgive themselves for. Sometimes, depriving us of the opportunity/time to pause and enjoy the moment.
Melbourne has taught me a lot. Exposed me to things I would never experience in Singapore. When I was 16 and agreed to embark on this journey, I had no idea what it entails. The only thing I knew was that I was gonna get a whole lot of freedom. But there was a price to pay for all the freedom. Whether it's money, time or youth.
We learn lessons from life. It's only when we learn and grow that it's worth it.
Once again, three cheers to no regrets.
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 2nd, 2008|04:39 am] |
i hate it when you don't put in any effort into our relationship. i feel stupid calling and texting you day after day with no form of reply. i was hurt when you didn't even chase when i wanted to leave. you say you love me. shouldn't your actions follow suit?
i don't know what to do anymore. someone send me back to melbourne now. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 10th, 2008|12:46 pm] |
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"i used up all my luck trying to chase you." |
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| time heals all wounds? |
[Jun. 9th, 2008|05:37 am] |
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today i just realised, i ain't hurting no more.
might be the drunken nights. might be the support of friends. might be the birthday celebrations. might be the comfort food (thanks d). might be the new boys. might be all of the above at once.
however, the scar will still be there. but i know it'll fade away. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 3rd, 2008|08:51 am] |
我 我沒有害過人 只想失戀也有名份 我 太樂意獻一吻 為甚麼這溫柔會犯禁
若你我可抱著睡 連命也甘心短幾歲 誰能及我 將性命也豁出去 若與你好有罪 全是律例不對 我要追 離棄世界亦要追
this is exactly how i'm feeling now and for the past 2 weeks. there's this naive part of me that believes, if you wanted it half as much as me, it would have worked. i would do practically anything to spend more time with you. after all that whiskey and wine, i still want you. |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 31st, 2008|02:14 pm] |
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You know, everytime a girl and guy who aren't officially together, get intimate and for whatever reason, it turns out bad. They try to make it work a few times, still ain't happening. Everyone (at least everyone on my side) would blame to guy, call him a bastard. Let's not sexual discriminate and make the girl be seen as the victim. It's no one's fault. 2 willing parties. Nothing to apologise for. Nothing to forgive.
You would see the girl crying. Leaving the guy helpless in front of all their friends. He can't leave her crying though he doesn't want to face that crying girl who he doesn't have feelings for anymore. He just stands there helpless, not knowing if giving her a hug will be getting too close, yet trying to save himself some face.
Well, too much of this have been happening in the past few weeks. To my friends, to me. I think we are all addicted to the drama, we addicted to the words "it's complicated". We would do things that creates drama only so that we can continue living our lives. I think i'm almost as addicted to drama as to cigarettes and alcohol.
Anyway, so I had my fair share of drama. I hated every moment of it. I didn't go out to see the world for a bit. Just stayed home, placed emo songs on repeat, drank and smoked. Till i finally got my closure. I need closure. I like closure. I need it to move on.
As an Aquarius, I like to make friends with the Exs. Especially if we were friends before or if we have to same group of friends. If we bump into each other so often, it'll be bloody awkward. So might as well suck it up and remain friends. And it'll be much easier for me if i still like him. No matter what wrong he did to me, I will be able to forgive and soon, forget.
Yes V, three cheers to no regrets.
"It's forgiveness that makes us what we are. Without forgiveness, our species would've annihilated itself in endless retributions. Without forgiveness, there would be no history. Without that hope, there would be no art, for every work of art is in some way an act of forgiveness. Without that dream, there would be no love, for every act of love is in some way a promise to forgive. We live on because we can love, and we love because we can forgive." -Shantaram by David Gregory Roberts |
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| If you keep smiling, nobody'll know that anything's wrong. |
[Apr. 15th, 2008|03:04 am] |
I haven't updated publicly in a long time.
I was enjoying being single. Not having anyone in my life. Every single bit of it. I did not have any commitments. I did not have anyone to answer to other than my parents. I had enough time for myself, enough friends for my friends. I was able to do anything I wanted at any time I wanted. It was nice. I was free.
I only have one word to describe these past 3 weeks. Dramatic. At the start of it all, my friends would take turns, one by one, problems would arise in their lives and it was still okay. Many of us would be there for that one person. More and more problems came our way. Before one problem was solved, another would arise. Soon, we didn't have enough energy or time. There would often be people sulking over coffee. Dinner would not be filled with laughter anymore. It was just serious talk. We no longer meet because we have nothing better to do but it was always because something happened to someone.
I had my fair share of drama. I stopped going to school. There were days which made me want to just lock myself at home and watch Hong Kong drama serials just so that I was concentrating so hard on the plot that I would not think about that certain boy. That certain boy that left me wanting for more. That certain boy that does not know that I like him. I've never felt this way about any boy before. It's all new to me. I've never had a crush, never liked a guy who was not already fucking in love with me.
But then again, I learnt this from lala, if you keep smiling, nobody'll know that anything's wrong. Trust me, I've tried it, and it works. I just want everyone to be happy again.
Life isn't a dream. It's a fucking nightmare. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 12th, 2008|02:44 am] |
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you wanna know something? i've moved on. i finally have.
i know what i want in life now. and i know what's good for me.
just take it as it comes. i'm ready for what's ahead.
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 19th, 2008|02:46 pm] |
last night, i dreamt of you. start appearing in my life for a change. |
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