|The last of 2009
||[Dec. 31st, 2009|08:42 pm]
So, Here it is. New years eve... |
Alot has changed since the last time I've posted. I guess you could say new boyfriend? IDK, I've known him for years, and I got back in touch with him via myspace about a month ago, we hung out, had great sex and started dating. Anyone who knows the history with Mitch is still weirded out by it, Especially Skyy. It's cool tho. I really like him and we seem to be getting along pretty good. I just need to calm my nerves a little. I dunno but I'm being super cautious because of all the relationship bullshit I've gone through before, and my dad's side of the family never had anything nice to say about him, And he's not too fond of them either. He is really the only source I've had for updates on that side of my family and HOLY SHIT did he tell me some fucked up shit. The one that stuck out the most is the incestuous relationship my dad had with my cousin Nicole. UGH. WHAT THE FUCK!! He told me they got caught doing some disgusting sex act.. He's not sure what they were doing but he knows they got caught. And Mitch thinks she was doing it to get METH. That is some fucked up shit. WHAT THE FUCK that made me physically ill. And it makes me never want to see my dad again. I didn't see him much in the first place, but still. DISGUSTING. I'm glad in a way that Mitch came around and told me all of this stuff. It's just a reminder of why I want NOTHING to do with them. FUCK THEM. The only person I really keep in touch with on that side of the family is my cousin Heather. I talk to her every once in a while just to catch up on things and hear about what's new in my family. But I realized they really aren't worth my time. I'm trying to look past what my dad's side of the family had to say about him and see him for what good he really is. I really can't judge Mitch by what they've said. OBVIOUSLY, they have skeletons in the closet too and NO ONE IS PERFECT!!! At first I thought it would be just a fuck and chuck situation, But I dunno anymore. He seems to like being around me, But I dunno yet. He did drop the "L" word on me pretty quickly tho. It scared me a little and I wasn't sure what to make of it, but I'm gonna stick around. Who knows. Maybe this will work out, But I'm not going to get my hopes up too much just to have my heart broken. I've learned over the years not to put your whole heart and soul into anything. It's just easier this way. If I tell myself not to get too attached, it's easier in the end. So that's what I'm doing. I'm trying not to get attached until I'm absolutely sure this is going to last.. It sounds horrible, but yes, He dated my Step-cousin Amanda for 7 years and had a kid with her... It is kinda horrible actually. I used to go to school with him and my cousin and hung out with them pretty much every day. Then when Mitch told me he's liked me since then it kinda shocked me.
At first I figured he just wanted to get his dick rubbed and was romancing me so he could get laid and get off, but I dunno anymore. It seems to be a little more than that. I have trust issues and just don't trust guys in general (thanks Jaime) so I'm having a hard time with this I think. I'm not sure... Maybe it started out as him just wanting to get laid and told me whatever he thought would work with me, and I guess it did... But I think it's evolving. I dunno... Fuck I need to stop rambling on about this shit. UGH. It makes me think too much. I guess I will just have to wait it out and see. It's already been a month since we kinda got together, So I guess here goes nothing... and everything all at once.
I was supposed to spend new years eve with Mitch at Doydle's but he ended up with his daughter and doesn't know if he will even be able to come back here tonight. :( I hope he can.. I was looking forward to it.
Sassy had her puppies!! They will be 4 weeks old this friday. <3 I got to watch Sassy give birth, It was really gross but fucking awesome at the same time. The puppies are growing so fast and they already opened their eyes. <3
I keep saying I need to update this more but will I? Who knows...